Chapter Thirty-Four

Laia

 

For all the joy and banter of the Llary reunion, a much darker one was waiting when we came back to the Coven House. We’d been summoned by Beylore.

After hanging on for almost a full week and a half, Jasper’s time had run out.

At first, I'd thought about not going. But after a heart-to-heart with my mother, grandmother, and aunt, they'd urged me to go. To get closure. To at least thank him for releasing me.

“I think you should say goodbye, too,” my mother had added. “I think you might regret it one day if you don’t.”

“But don’t do it for him,” Gran had said sagely. “Do it for yourself.”

It was as though the old Laia and the new Laia had clashed together these last few days, free of the brand. However, while I was happier, more energetic and whole, than I had been in two years, there was still a nagging sense of something amiss.

Standing at Jasper’s door now, I knew it had to do with him.

Time to close this chapter.

Rett, Tristan, Luke, Reagan, Fallon, and Kal were crowded around me in the hall, whispering and agitating. All of them had offered to go in with me multiple times. Well, Kal had offered to guard the door if I wanted to get a few punches in.

Shaking my head, I’d told them, Thank you, but I have to do this alone.

Only, five minutes had now gone by, and I hadn’t gone in yet.

With an irritated sigh, Kal reached over and twisted the doorknob, shoving it open, and then shoved me in. There was an ugly growl from Rett and words from Fallon, but, when I turned, they fell silent. Giving Kal a nod of thanks, I closed the door and crossed the room.

Jasper’s eyes were closed, giving no indication that he’d heard the ruckus outside his room. His chest rose and fell shallowly. My eyes traced across him, unable to believe that this emaciated man had faced down Rett, had won countless Dominance Combats, and had been the favorite Alpha of the Bloodfang. He looked older, shrunken and wasted.

A pressure built in my throat as I remembered the shy kid who’d moved in across the street from me and Tristan. Tagging along after us, always trying to keep up, and sometimes getting a broken bone in the process. While Tristan and I were more than happy to spend a day exploring, Jasper had been more bookish.

“Such a gentle soul,” my mother had said once, watching Jasper patiently train his beloved pet dog. That dog had lived to almost double its expected lifespan, thanks to Jasper’s dedication.

If only I’d gotten there sooner. Saved your family. Maybe Orion wouldn’t have been able to touch you.

Orion had mangled Jasper’s soul, and for that, he would pay.

“I promise,” I whispered, reaching out and touching Jasper’s hand.

Jasper stirred, and I watched as his gray eyes took me in. “Laia?” Even his voice was cracked and broken. I hadn’t thought I would cry, but tears welled up. “No, don’t cry. Not for me.”

“Are you in pain?” I asked.

“No,” he said, and I made a skeptical noise. “I swear. The Northbane have shown me more kindness than I deserve.” Jasper tried to sit up and failed. “Are you really here?”

I nodded and sat down, wanting to take his hand. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I hadn’t lied about not being able to forgive him, but I hoped that one day I could.

Jasper seemed to understand. “I can’t ask anything more of you, Laia, than this.” He gave me a small, sad imitation of a smile. “I thought it was a dream.”

“One day,” I croaked out, and he nodded, not needing me to say anything else.

We fell silent, and I found myself stupidly thinking of working together on posters and book reports. Jasper had always been so dedicated, taking the time to carefully cut things out or do twice the research. Hadn’t he wanted to be a teacher, like Rett? I couldn’t remember.

“Thank you for coming,” he said, breaking the silence after a few moments. “I wanted to see you one last time.” I nodded and fidgeted. A ghost of a smile crossed his face. “Is there something you wanted to ask me? Or say to me? Maybe get a punch or two in?”

“I’m past that,” I said softly. “Tell me what he told you.”

I knew that Xander, Kal, and Beylore had already interrogated Jasper. But I wanted to hear the story myself—not ask him questions, but hear what had happened.

For him to bare his soul before it moved on.

When Jasper didn’t respond, I said, my voice gentler, “Just start at the beginning.”

Jasper nodded and, in a halting whisper of a voice, told me of how we'd come to the Bloodfang base. How he’d woken up the very first night, his sickness ebbing away under the magic of Orion’s voice. I had no memory of this, and he explained how he’d snuck out, then been caught, and then been graciously allowed to stay by Orion. Probably nothing but a clever ploy.

Orion always knew what to say, how to make people feel important. He’d persuaded Jasper, and countless others, that they could find an outlet for their pain and rage by following his lead.

“Perhaps he is using a shard,” I mused as Jasper took a breather.

“I don’t think he needs to—not for that,” Jasper said. “I think he’s that dangerous.”

Suddenly, my conscience jabbed at me. “If you’re too tired...”

“No, I’ve never spoken of this,” he said. “It’s a relief.”

I nodded and sat back as Jasper continued. He told me how he’d admitted to Orion that he didn’t want me to leave, as well as who I really was. How much he wanted to help the Bloodfang cause. Not long after that, Orion had offered to brand Jasper and mark him apart as an Alpha.

“Wait, are you saying he made you an Alpha?” I asked, and Jasper nodded. “I never realized…”

But now that I knew the Northbane Commands, I could see the difference between a true Alpha and those created by Orion’s hand. It seemed he exacerbated aggression and strength, and lowered empathy, while a true Alpha had equal measures of strength and empathy.

“An Alpha, yes, with my specific wish to never be defeated,” Jasper said. “When the augris branded me, all my darkness emerged and took over. If I thought the Stasis Bureau prisons had been hell…” His throat worked, and he shook his head. “The last year was even worse. I became my worst fear. I became the monster they said I was.”

“You’d been through a lot,” I said, my words feeble in the face of death.

“Yes, and Orion took advantage of that,” Jasper said. “At least I can reassure myself that you know to be careful, that you’ve seen how good he is at discovering weaknesses. It’s like he’s spent his whole life learning how to tear people apart.” He paused. “And you know his eye is on Winfyre.”

“We’ll be okay,” I said, and this time I took Jasper’s hand. “Thank you.”

“Laia, I was so paranoid,” he said, choking on the words. “All I could think about was keeping you safe—even from yourself. You were always so reckless, and I…I told Orion that, too.”

I’d already resigned myself to the fact that Orion probably knew everything Jasper had ever known about me. But what that bastard didn’t know was that I would figure out a way to use it to my advantage.

“And then Orion,” Jasper continued, “when you showed signs of restlessness when you questioned him, he threatened to eliminate you. He thought leaving your body on the borders of Winfyre would send a message to the Northbane. I should have known how far gone I was at that point, that I would even consider…” I drew back, and Jasper put his hands over his face. “I didn’t tell the Northbane Commands that. I was too ashamed. In the end, some sliver of my soul cried out, and I begged him to spare you. I think Orion wanted me to.”

“So, he was going to kill me, and you suggested the brand?”

“No, I’d already been thinking about that,” Jasper admitted and lowered his hands. “But I wasn’t sure…maybe that was his way of pushing me to do it.”

“And then I ran off,” I murmured. “He manipulated both of us, Jaz.”

“I’m so sorry,” Jasper whispered.

This time, I didn’t say anything. I stood up and sat on the bed, taking Jasper’s hand and pressing it between mine. Making soothing noises, I told him to put it from his mind. I’d found out enough. Jasper’s breathing was becoming shallower, and I could tell the end was drawing near.

For the last hour or so of his life, he wouldn’t have to relive his hell. Instead, I began to reminisce, spinning stories of our childhood, and days dappled with simple happiness.

Of a world before the Rift.

Sometime during my story, Jasper’s eyes fluttered closed. “I’m glad I’m dying,” he said.

“Jaz,” I said, my voice full of reproach.

“No, Laia, I want to see my family again.” My fingers tightened on his hand. “I want peace.”

“And I want to forgive you,” I said. His eyes opened as my face worked. “Let’s face it, I could never stay mad at you, Jaz. Even when you tattled on me and Tristan to the teacher, or reminded them to give us extra homework.”

A glorious, light laugh escaped him. “I did do that, didn’t I?”

I saw that boy in his eyes again.

“You did. And you had a lifetime of doing the right thing.”

He laughed ruefully. “Maybe.”

“No, you did,” I said. “It’s going to be okay. Your soul is your own again. And I’ll be here…until the end.”

Jasper gave me a real smile and fell back on his pillows, a peaceful look coming over his face.

“Be happy, Laia,” he murmured. “Laugh as much as you can. Your laugh lights up the world.”

I nodded and stayed with him until the end.

 

Rett had been waiting outside the door and stood up when I came out. Without a word, he wrapped me in his arms and held me as I cried.

“What am I crying for?” I asked into his shirt.

“For a friend,” he murmured. “For the Rift and all the hell you’ve been through.”

A shaking, shuddering sigh escaped me. “Can we go outside?”

He nodded, somehow managing to let Beylore know what had happened and get me outside in the span of a minute. The cool air washed across my face, and I stood, looking up at the stars.

“Are there spirit guides in Winfyre?” I asked suddenly. “Wolves?”

“Yes,” Rett said, and I turned to him. “You’ve met them?”

"I think so," I said. "I think that falcon may have been one, too. Is there any way to track them down or summon them?"

Rett shook his head. “As far as we can tell, they only come when needed or when Winfyre is in grave danger.” He came over and touched my cheek. “Why?”

“Talking to Jasper, reliving all of that,” I said slowly, and Rett looked alarmed. “I’m okay, big guy. I only meant, as much as I wish I didn’t have to go through all that—thank God I was there. Can you imagine if a crian shard had been slipped into Winfyre another way? If a Northbane shifter had used it?”

“You think it was fate or somethin’?” Rett asked.

I let my head fall onto his chest. “Maybe. Is that too arrogant?”

“You saved our home, Laia,” Rett rumbled and put his hands on my shoulders. “I don’t think that was a coincidence, no. Nor do I think our paths crossed by mistake.”

I looked up at him. “So, you did feel a connection.”

His throat worked, and he nodded. “Yeah, and it scared me half to death. I thought a mate was the last thing I needed.”

A laugh escaped me at his chagrined look. “Don’t worry, you weren’t alone in that.”

“I’m glad I was wrong,” Rett murmured. “I shouldn’t ever listen to Kal.”

“No, you should listen to me,” I said.

We both fell silent and stood together, looking up at the stars. I found myself thinking of the strange ways people's lives intersected and connected, the small chances and miracles that made up a life. Of family, friends, and mates. Of the future, and the little brunette or redhead I couldn't wait to meet. I leaned into Rett.

“We haven’t talked about this,” I said slowly, and he looked down at me. “With my family in Veda, I, um…I mean…”

Rett’s arm tightened around me. “You’re living with me.”

A genuine smile spread across my face. “Oh, really?”

"Yeah, you can fly up here and visit them anytime," he said. "I mean, unless you want to move to Veda, and I can start looking for houses—"

I pulled his face down for a kiss. “I love your house. I love you. That’s our home.”

Rett smiled at me. “Plenty of room, right?”

My heart fluttered in my chest. “So much room.”

“Four extra rooms,” Rett said.

Dawn was breaking across the sky, dispelling the shadows of this night.

I smirked at Rett. “Is that a challenge?”

“Triplets do run in the Deacons,” he said.

And so I kept my promise to my old friend. I began to laugh so hard, my eyes teared up, and Rett laughed, too, our joy echoing across the hills as the sky lit up with the new day.