4

While I wrestled with these decisions I sauntered around college wondering how people dealt with relationships on a regular basis. It was hard work being involved with people, but my life was more exciting than it had been in a long time and I didn't want it to stop. But other people had noticed my activities. I was in the wash room when Astrid and her cronies came up to me, blocking my exit from the door. At first I rolled my eyes, feeling like this was a joke because it was so cliched but Astrid leaned in so close to me I could smell the musky perfume lingering on her neck.

“Stay away from our me,” she growled, and the others formed a circle around me. I looked around, unable to escape. I was afraid of a beating but what they did was even worse. They told me I was nothing, that I was ugly and Mick and Donny were only going out with me for a joke. They said that I didn't belong in their world and that I was going to end up as a spinster living in some ratty apartment while they were going to be on the arms of famous football players, living in mansions, able to buy all the things their hearts desired. Their heels clacked on the tiled floor. I wanted to lash out at them but I knew it wouldn't do any good. The worst thing was that I believed them. In my mind they were just telling the truth and it was only a matter of time before Mick and Donny saw it for themselves. I was borrowing a fantasy just so I could forget about my pathetic life for a while and delay the inevitable. The insults cut me more sharply than a knife ever could, and it wasn't long before I was on the ground, sobbing. They left me in tears and slammed the door behind them. It was the afternoon, and I couldn't bear to face any more classes so I cut them and went straight to Donny.

He was at home. I manged to hold in the tears until I saw him again, then they all came out. I leaned into his chest and felt his strong arms wrap around me. He kissed the top of my head and held my trembling body tight. I breathed in his warm, safe scent and let all the feelings out. He kept asking me what was wrong but I wasn't ready to tell him yet, so eventually he stayed quiet and just held me, which is what I needed. It took me a while to calm my breathing but eventually I composed myself and felt silly for crying in front of him.

“Now are you going to tell me what's wrong?” he said, tilting my head up with his finger. I nodded and told him all about Astrid and the others. As I spoke his face glowered with anger and he visibly tensed. He led me to the couch and sat me down, but stayed standing as he pulled out his cell phone. He dialed a number and put it to his ear.

“Astrid,” he said in a grave tone, and I was so afraid that he was going to reveal that the joke had worked, that all this was done to reduce me to tears because I had had the temerity to try to be a part of their world. Thankfully I only had to wait one moment to be proven wrong. “I heard what you did. You need to get over this idea you have that I'm yours. We dated for a while but that was it. You have no claim to me and I have no affection for you. Don't treat Mindy like that again, because if I hear that you do anything bad I will see to it that you're thrown off the cheer squad. And don't think I won't. You know what power I have around the school. Who do you think they're going to want to make happy? Forget about me and live your own life. I don't want to waste any more time thinking about you,” he said, his words blunt, bringing out his rougher side. The way he defended me was a turn on, as was the way he transformed back to the gentle giant when he held me in his arms to comfort me again, but just knowing that he had that beast inside him only made me want him more, and the fact that I went to him first must have meant something in the grand scheme of things.

The hours passed. We put on a movie and cuddle. We kissed and got used to being with each other, and then when night fell there was no question of whether I was going to stay or not. We went up to his room and stripped down for bed, sliding in between the sheets but nothing happened. We lay together, my arms draped over his body, my lips kissing his chest. I felt the heat between us and I wanted to be with him so badly but I was emotionally exhausted, and I didn't want to do anything until after I had sorted things with Mick. I nestled against Donny and enjoyed the feelings of his strong hands against my skin. I had never felt so close to anyone before.

“So what happened with you and Astrid?” I said. Donny sighed heavily.

“We went on a few dates once. Figured I may as well since she was the head cheerleader. She wanted either me or Mick so we did rock paper scissors to see who would go out with her. I lost. We did it just so that she would stop pestering us but it didn't help. She's convinced that we're going to end up together but she's not our type at all.”

“Oh no? What is your type?”

He didn't answer me, not with words anyway, instead he just smirked and gave me a kiss. I was feeling much better about things and I felt like I had made a decision. I still found Mick attractive but I went to Donny first, and I thought that was a sign. I would have to tell Mick what happened and let him down but I was sure that I wanted to be with Donny. My mind was relaxed and all I needed was a little more time and everything would be sorted. Soon enough I drifted off to sleep.

The morning sun rose and I welcomed its warmth. Donny looked so handsome as he slept. I kissed him on the cheek. He stirred a little and I told him I would be back soon. I was going to go home and get changed, then arrange to meet up with Mick, then I could finally put this matter to rest and hope that it wouldn't cause a rupture between them.