5.
Eddie
“A plan?” Now doesn’t that just sound ominous? My stomach tightens. Whatever comes next, I know I’m not going to like it.
She’s looking at her hands again as she places the remains of the crust and dip on the coffee table. “Yeah.” She seems decidedly uneasy and that only makes my stomach even more twisted. “I’m going to have a one-night stand.”
“A… A one-night stand?”
She nods. “It’s my only option.”
“Your only option?”
“Stop it.” Her fists are tight balls in her lap, her shoulders trembling with pent up emotion as she grinds out the words. “I can hear myself. I know I sound crazy. Stop repeating everything I say.”
I close my eyes and shake my head, trying to rid my mind of the clouds of confusion that seem to have filled it. When I open my eyes she is watching me and I have to remind myself that I am her friend and that’s why I am here. No matter how uncomfortable I am right now, I need to support her. If this were Alex, what would I do? “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make you feel crazy.” I take a deep breath. “This is really important to you, isn’t it?”
She nods, but doesn’t say anything, her cheeks flushing once more as if she were too embarrassed to speak. I don’t ask for an explanation. In this moment, I don’t need one. And if I asked I’m not sure she’d tell me.
“Alright, then let me help.”
“What?” Her head jerks up to look at me, causing a strand of hair to fall across her face. My hand moves, almost on automatic, to push it from her face. It’s as though the world is suddenly moving in slow motion and every second is like a minute. Her eyes widen to the size of teacups as my hand approaches her face. I stop myself just in time and rest my arm across the back of the sofa instead.
“It’s like you said before. We are best friends. And this is clearly something that means a lot to you, so I want to support you in that.” I wish I felt as relaxed as I sound. “No questions, no judgments. If you want to have sex with me, then lets have some sex. Easy. If you want to have a one-night stand with some stranger you pick up in a bar, then let me help you make sure you’re safe. I’m here for you.”
If her eyes were teacups before they are now dinner plates. “What?” Her mouth is opening and closing like a goldfish and her face is tomato red.
I play my final card, the confidence card. It’s the ace I always have up my sleeve. If I behave as though I am calm, confident and in control, people seem to believe it. “Look.” I pull out my phone. “How did you imagine your first time would be?”
“Excuse me?” Her voice is quieter.
“Your first time.” I grin. “Let me guess, you wanted to get shitfaced, have your arse groped in a club that smells like piss and BO and then have some clumsy stranger sweating over you in his mum’s basement while you close your eyes and think of England?”
She laughs and the tension breaks. Thank Christ for that. “How did you know?”
I wink. “I knew you were a romantic at heart.” I open a note on my phone. “Seriously, you must have thought about it. If we’re going to do this we need to know where to start.”
“We?”
“Yes, we. I’m involved now, so I’m helping. So come on, we need a plan.”
She folds her arms in front of her, pushing her breasts together towards the low neckline of her t-shirt. It’s pretty difficult to ignore them right now. Fuck knows how I managed to miss them completely until today. “I have a plan.”
“No,” I say firmly. “You have an idea. A bad one at that. Which is why you are so lucky that I am here to help. Now come on; your ideal first time. Go.”
“You’re really doing this, aren’t you?”
I shine my cocky grin at her. “You’re in my wheelhouse now, Luce. If there’s one thing I know, it’s sex. Start talking.”
She pauses for a moment, eying me suspiciously. Finally she says, “I’ve always thought he would-“
I hold up my finger to stop her. “Wait.” And tap into my phone. “Male. Noted. Go on.”
She rolls her eyes dramatically. “Was that really necessary? You know I’m straight.”
“Was the eye roll really necessary? And besides, we’ve clearly established this evening that I know very little about your romantic life. It’s better to be clear and get all the details upfront.” I wave my hand in front of me and bob my head. “Please continue.”
She sighs, but she’s holding back a smile. “I always thought he’d be someone I know and respect.”
“Know and respect.”
“Someone I care about.”
“Mmm hmmm.” I note it down on my phone. “And does he respect you?”
“What?”
“This fictitious guy…” A thought suddenly occurs to me. “He is fictitious right? You don’t have anyone specific in mind?”
She nods. “He’s fictitious.”
“Good. This fictitious guy, does he respect and care about you?”
“I… I guess…”
I can see her getting flustered and it pisses me off that, even in her ideal scenario, the guy doesn’t respect her. How low can her self-worth be? Rather than dwell on it, I decide to take another tack. I put my phone down on the table and turn on the sofa so that my whole body is facing her. My knee is pushed into the back of the sofa, and my leg across the seat has her pinned in. I lean towards her, careful not to make contact.
“How does it start?”
“Huh?”
“Your ideal first time? How does it start? He takes the lead?” I guess.
“Y-yes”
“Because he’s more experienced than you?”
She nods and the flush of her skin travels across her chest and is hidden behind the t-shirt.
My heart picks up and my voice drops an octave as I ask, “Is he slow or hesitant or does he know what he wants? Does he take his time, or is it hot and heavy?”
“I don’t know.” Her voice is barely above a whisper.
“What do you like?’ I lean closer still.
“I-I don’t know.”
I can feel rather than see the heaving of her breasts as I am now so close to her that all I can see is her face. “Close your eyes.”
“What?” Even her voice is trembling.
“Close your eyes,” I say again softly.
They flutter shut and I brush my lips over hers, so gently that they barely touch. Her lips part slightly and I do it again and again. I can taste the BBQ sauce on her lips. I move to her jaw and then her neck, delicately placing kiss after kiss on her beautiful, soft skin. It’s softer than I imagined, almost impossibly so. I find the hollow at the base of her neck and lick it. Her hands have found my thighs and I can tell from the way that she squeezes my legs as my tongue drifts across her that she loves it. Travelling back up the curve of her throat towards her earlobe, I whisper, “Did you like that?”
She doesn’t speak, but hums her approval, her eyes still closed with a slight smile on her face. I can feel my cock straining in my trousers.
“Good.”
This time I take no prisoners; running my hands up her arms until they are locked on either side of her face, I take advantage of her slightly parted lips to plunder her mouth with my tongue. She gasps. Her hands land on my chest and for a moment I worry that I’ve gone too far. Then she fists my t-shirt, moaning as she pulls me towards her, her tongue meeting mine stroke for stroke.
My god, she is amazing. I’ve had my fair share of kisses in my time, but none like this. She is passionate and receptive without trying to dominate. Our mouths are a mess of lips, tongues and teeth and it is glorious.
When I let her go she is breathing heavily, her breasts are rising and falling against my chest in the most intoxicating way. I cannot resist running my hand through her hair, stroking my fingers across her scalp before following the tress down her shoulder and over her breast. I leave it there, resting the back of my hand against her semi erect nipple under the pretense of playing with her hair. As if I couldn’t feel it, begging for my attention. My other hand cups her face, my thumb gently stroking her cheek until she opens her heavy eyes, her glasses slowly de-fogging after the heat of our kiss.
“What about that? Did you like that?”
She stares at me slightly dazed and I once more worry about her reaction. I am not like this. With women, at least to start with, I am always so certain of myself. I know what I’m doing, I know that I’m good at it, and I know that they like what I do to them. But this is different; this is Lucy.
A smile spreads across her lips and my cock twitches at the wicked glint in her eye. “Maybe,” she breathes.
“Maybe?”
Her smile widens and she slowly licks her lips. “I’m not sure about that second one. Perhaps you should it try again.”
God Almighty! When did Lucy turn into this… this… this vixen? I love it. “Yes, ma’am.” I don’t need asking twice.
I go for it full force, pushing her backwards into the sofa. Our legs tangle as I stroke my tongue across hers. The hand at her breast goes to work, caressing and fondling, and I love the soft weight and the hardening peak of her nipple. She moans and arches into my touch. I push my way between her legs, and her thighs tighten around my hips. One of her hands clutches the nape of my neck, while the other roams across my back, both pulling me closer to her.
She is so hot, so fucking sexy. It’s taking all of my self-control not to push her further, but I hold back. I stroke my hand through her hair as I slow it down. She reluctantly follows my lead, brushing patterns with her fingertips into the back of my head. Intoxicating doesn’t even cover it. I am fully hooked.
My lips leave hers and she whimpers as I kiss her neck. I want her. I want her so badly, but she’s already told me she doesn’t want me and I am not looking for a relationship. With Lucy it couldn’t be anything less. She is not the sort of woman you have a one-night stand with. Whether or not she knows it. She’s the sort of woman you settle down with. She deserves commitment and loyalty and respect. She deserves everything. Which is why I stop. It’s the only reason I stop.
◆◆◆
I wake up on Lucy’s sofa. My arm hurts but I don’t move it from under the woman next to me. She looks gorgeous when she’s sleeping, so peaceful. Although that’s kind of a redundant statement; she looks gorgeous when she’s awake as well. How did it take me so long to notice? She’s taken off her glasses and I brush away the hair that has fallen across her face. Her skin is so soft and smooth that I find it difficult to tear my hand away from her cheek. And she smells so good.
Last night may be the first time I’ve spent the night with a woman without having sex. Stranger than that sentence is how much I enjoyed it. We ended up watching a movie. There’s nothing unusual about that, we’ve done it a million times before, but never with her curled up in my arms. It felt really bloody weird, but I kind of loved it. She just sort of fit, you know?
I must have fallen asleep before she did because there is a blanket over us that wasn’t there before and she must have got up to turn the sitting room light off.
She must have got up.
She got up, found a blanket, turned the light off and rather than walking to her bedroom, which is only across the hall, she came back and lay here with me.
She came back to me. Instead of sleeping on her undoubtedly comfortable bed, she slept on the sofa with me.
Suddenly I can’t breathe. A cold panic spreads from my head through my entire body and I think I’m going to vomit. No, I know I’m going to vomit, if I don’t get out of here. I need some fresh air. I need to walk around. Cramped sofa and too much pizza. I just need to not be here right now.
I need…
I need…
I need to breathe. I take a deep breath.
Slowly I extricate myself from the sleeping Lucy, tucking the blanket back over her before I make my escape.