Epilogue
Three weeks earlier
Mills
The guy I’m dancing with rocks his pelvis against my arse and for the briefest of moments I close my eyes and go with it. I let myself forget all the shitty things. All the pain and darkness are pushed to one side as I grind against him, lost for a second in this instance of being wanted.
I can feel how much he wants me. The hardness of his “want” pushes up against my right butt cheek as he wraps his arm around me.
Beer and BO invade my senses and the moment is gone. As the tracks change I slip out of his grasp, leaving my dancing partner with a wink and a smile. We had fun, but I need a drink. If he’s still there in a couple of songs then who knows. If not, it’s no bother. Tonight the pickings are lush and it’s still only early.
The Royale isn’t normally the sort of club that’s good for much more than a bit of flirting, maybe a snog up against a wall or something like that. There’s not normally anyone you’d want to take home to get up close and personal with your lady growler. But tonight is different.
I wind my way back to the bar, swinging my hips in time with the beat. I left Lucy here less than twenty minutes ago, trying to muster up the ovaries to talk to a very drunk looking Ed. I’m not surprised to find them gone. With any luck she is well on her way to another magnificent fucking. Not that she told me much about the last time the two of them bumped uglies – God, I love the English language. So fucking visceral – but she didn’t have to. I could tell he’d rocked her world. And she’s been mooning over him for far too long.
That kind of thing really pisses me off. If you want something then take it or stop moaning about it. Don’t just sit there and wait for it to come to you. But Lucy’s never been of the same ‘shit or get off the pot’ mentality as me. She needed a bit of a push, as did dear old Ed. So that’s what I did. Well, I should say we. Thinking about it…
I glance around the room but it barely takes a moment to spot the positively golden locks of Alex Erikson, my partner in crime. Fuck me, that hair. What is it about blond men? They always seem so… Thor-like. Not that Alex’s particularly built, but that hair just makes me weak at the knees. I don’t know him that well, he’s more of a friend of a friend, but he’s always seemed nice enough. Reasonably harmless.
Once I have my new beer I walk over to him. He’s propping up a wall just off the dance floor, a bottle in one hand, the other in his pocket. The jeans he’s wearing are tight around his legs, making him look lankier than he is and I only hope his cross-checkered shirt is worn ironically.
Something about the way he’s standing makes him looks so fucking miserable. Or maybe it’s his grim expression. Whatever he’s thinking about right now has got him really low, so I’m guessing it’s not our recent success.
Leaning next to him, I grin, holding up my glass towards him. “To a plan well executed.”
Alex clinks my glass but doesn’t return my smile. “We’ll see. Ed was as drunk as I’ve ever seen him. Not sure how much sense Lucy will get out of him tonight.”
“As long as he’s sober enough to fuck her silly, they can figure the rest out later.” I laugh as Alex shakes his head, a grin forming on his lips.
“I’ve never met a woman who swears even half as much as you.”
“Then you haven’t met many women. Or at least not bloody interesting ones.”
Alex lets out a short laugh as I take a swig of my beer. It’s not great, but when alcohol’s concerned it doesn’t have to be. I’m feeling loose and mellow and pleased with myself. Totally prepared to let it all hang out. In three more large gulps the glass is close enough to empty to not spill easily. I grab Alex’s arm and move towards the dance floor. “Dance?”
To my surprise, he doesn’t move. Holding back against my tug, he’s frowning at my hand, so I stop pulling him. “Come on, Alexander the great! Dance with me. The night is young and we’re celebrating.”
He’s shaking his head and I know what his next word will be. “Elizabeth doesn’t-“
Elizabeth and Alex have been dating for a couple of years now and as far as I am concerned she is the absolute scum of the earth. I have no fucking clue what he sees in her. What is more than obvious is that she has him wrapped around her little finger. No clue how she’s done it. The best I’ve come up with is a chocolate-coated pussy, but even that doesn’t seem enough for the way that Alex dotes on her. He doesn’t have friends anymore, well not really. Not except Ed. Elizabeth has seen to that. And the two of them arguing in a corner has become a staple of house parties. It’s ridiculous.
So of course he mentions her. She would fucking hate it if she could see the two of us together right now. I can picture her carefully tweezed eyebrows flying up to meet her expertly coiffed hair. Just the thought of that look on her face makes me feel good. Fuck her. She doesn’t deserve him, not after everything.
I step closer to Alex, thoroughly invading his personal space and cutting him off before he can tell me what Elizabeth would think about us dancing together. I hold out my beer towards him. “If you’re not going to dance with me, can you at least hold this while I let loose for both of us?”
The smile on his face says he thinks I’ve let him off the hook and I know I should feel shitty about that trust. “Sure, Mills.” He takes it from me, like a well-trained gentleman and all I want to do is mess him up.
I choose the downbeat, slowly weaving my hips in a wide figure of eight at half the speed of the current song, all the while watching Alex. My hands move slowly up my sides and his eyes are glued to them. Once I’m sure I have his attention, my hands run through my pixie cut and I catch his gaze with mine. Moving forward ever so slightly, I rest one palm on his chest. I relish the feeling of his pulse racing.
“Mills?”
I can hear the plea in his voice but I ignore it. This idea has burrowed its way into my head and now I want it. I’m not going to stop. If he wants out he can move away, he can ask me to stop. Fuck there are a hundred things he could do right now to stop me, but saying my name is not one of them. Fuck Elizabeth. Technically we’re not doing anything wrong.
Kicking it up a notch, I lick my lips and drop suddenly to a squat, my hand still on his chest. My eyes are still latched firmly onto his and I see the lust smoldering inside them. He wants this. He wants me.
God, I love that feeling of power. Moving back to standing I brush his body with mine. His head is dipped towards me as he watches and I just fucking go for it. Why the hell not. I kiss Alex.
It’s one of those barely there kisses. But damn it feels good. Not normally my cup of tea, but this one is just enough to make me feel powerful and wanted without feeling like the other woman.
Alex is blinking at me as I reach for my beer, still not moving out of his personal space. “Thanks,” I say.
“What the hell was that?” His voice is devoid of censure, so I shrug.
“That was a celebration.” I take a swig of my beer, enjoying the way he follows the movement.
“But you kissed me.”
I smile, placing my hand on his bicep in a friendly gesture. “Relax. It wasn’t anything. A celebratory kiss between friends. You didn’t even kiss me back. Elizabeth doesn’t need to know.”
“Elizabeth.” Her name is clearly a shock to his system as he tries to step backward, hitting his head on the wall behind him. “Fuck.”
I reach up to his head at the same time he does. “Shit, Alex. Are you-“
“Stop it.” He side steps me. “I don’t know what the fuck that was, Mills. But it can’t happen again. I love Elizabeth. I’d never cheat on her. I’m not a cheat.”
I hold up my hands in surrender. “Sure.”
“Of course I’m fucking sure,” he snaps, his free hand flying to his trouser pocket, as if to check for his wallet or phone. As if I would try to steal it. What the fuck? Since when did I deserve that kind of judgment? I thought we were friends.
“Fuck it, Alex. Whatever. My bloody mistake.” I throw back the last of my beer and put the empty on a nearby table.
Turning back to him I glare. I will not be blamed for other people’s issues. Not again. “You looked as miserable as sin before I got here, so I decided to cheer you up. Maybe I got carried away, but I refuse to be judged for that. Whatever it is that has you all worked up inside is fucking toxic. Anyone can see that. But that doesn’t give you the right to take it out on me. Sort out your shit.”
◆◆◆
Alex
I watched as Mills turned and walked away. The purple tips of her almost white blond hair caught the light and made her look even more like the ethereal creature she is. Her light kiss was still burning on my lips. Fucking hell, that woman. The things I wanted to do to her in that moment. They didn’t even bear thinking about.
I shook the thoughts from my head, reaching once again for my trouser pocket and the ring that sat there, heavy with the weight of responsibility.
Pushing myself away from the wall, I glanced once more towards the dance floor. Mills had returned to the Neanderthal who was rubbing himself all over her before and was letting him do it all over again. It was just Mills. I’d never judge her for that, no matter what she thought.
I knew she was braver than I would ever be. She was wild and free in a way that I could never be. She never let people put her down. She was almost inspirational. Even if her ideas were slightly warped. A celebratory kiss? What the hell was that?
She was right about one thing. I needed to sort my shit out. I turned towards the door and headed out into the night.
I needed to see Elizabeth.
You can read more about Alex and Mills in Faye’s next book Why Can’t We Be Friends? Coming Summer 2018.