Chapter Thirteen

Caroline was at an AIDS fundraiser, and the room was jam-packed with people all around. She was just weeks away from her wedding, and it was the only thing that occupied her mind. She was trying to focus on the event, but all she was thinking about was the dress she had designed for her wedding. It was almost ready, and she was excited to see herself in it.

“My God, your ass looks great in that dress, Caroline.”

Shocked, she turned to see the man behind the comment, and her mouth dropped to the floor. There was Joshua standing there behind her, and seeing him caused her breath to catch. It pissed her off that he was still as handsome as the last time she saw him. Why did he have such a hold on her still? Just seeing him there caused her heart to beat out of her chest.

“Is that any way to talk to a lady, Joshua?”

“I just wanted to catch your attention, that’s all.”

Joshua had always been that dreamy guy that you couldn’t get enough of, and that didn’t seem to change no matter how long they stayed away from each other. He had an easy smile that always made her feel safe, even though it was the last feeling that she should have around him. Caroline suddenly wished she had insisted that Mike come to the event, even though he had to work. She hadn’t expected Joshua to be there; otherwise, she would have.

“What are you doing here, Joshua?”

“Aside from letting you know you have a great ass? I would think that would be obvious?”

She rolled her eyes, “I hope you aren’t here for me, Joshua. I’m an engaged woman now, soon to be married in a few weeks.”

His eyes narrowed at her. “Yes, I had heard something like that through the grapevine. You don’t think you may be rushing into things? You couldn’t have been dating more than a few months unless you were with him while we were together.”

“I wasn’t. Not that I have to explain any of that to you.”

“You don’t need to be so hostile towards me, Caroline. I’m not here to hurt you.” Joshua moved in closer to her, and suddenly her heart started to beat faster than she was comfortable with. He was currently invading her space, and it made her feel a little heady.

“I don’t mean to be hostile Joshua, but we didn’t leave each other on the best of terms.”

“My fault, I know. I was a little upset at your departure.”

She nodded, unsure of what else there was to say.

“Do you want to go somewhere and talk? I promise you won’t regret it.”

He was whispering in her ear, and chills ran up her spine. How was it that he had such an effect on her after all this time? It puzzled her no end. She pushed him away from her, and she could finally catch her breath.

“No thanks. I think I would like to stay with the party.”

He chuckled, and she couldn’t help enjoying the twinkle he had in his eyes when he focused them on her. Joshua moved towards her, and she took a step back, feeling confused. He was still smiling as if he was a predator seeking out his prey.

“You’re not curious as to what I might have to say?”

“No. I can’t imagine what you could say to me at this point. What’s done is done.”

“Have a drink with me. Come on—we are both in a room full of strangers.”

“I don’t think that’s a very good idea.”

Joshua moved in close to her again, and she wondered if she was going to be okay. He had a problem with personal space, and it was affecting her greatly. Chills went up her spine as his hand grazed her cheek. Her skin still tingled when he lifted his hand away, and her throat felt dry as she was rendered completely speechless.

“I think you get more beautiful every time I see you, Caroline.”

Caroline had a hard time speaking. She wasn’t sure what had come over her, but she knew that being around Joshua in any manner was a bad idea. She couldn’t allow herself to get sucked in by him. She had always loved the way he talked to her, but those days were over, and she needed to move on with her life. She was getting married for goodness sake; she shouldn’t even be having a conversation with Joshua—what would Mike think?

Joshua must have a ton of eligible women around him all the time. Women who would die to be on his arm, even if it was for just one night; so why did he keep coming back for her? It was maddening having a man pursue her when she had no idea what he wanted from her. They were on totally different pages all the time, and yet he kept coming back into her life. It had to end.

She felt his hand move to the small of her back, and she gasped when warmth followed after.

“We could be so hot together, Caroline, if you just let it happen.” He was whispering in her ear again, and his hand moved to her ass when he did so, squeezing it gently. She gasped.

Caroline pushed him off of her, feeling her blood boil in the process. When she did, she knocked into his arm; the drink he was carrying tipped, and her mouth dropped as the drink spilled down the front of her.

“Oh shit,” muttered Joshua.

She looked down at her dress in horror, feeling like crying.

“You, idiot. How could you?”

Joshua quickly turned to find some napkins on a nearby table. When he returned, he started dabbing at her breasts. She snatched the napkin out of his hand and glared at him. She was absolutely furious with him, and her night was going downhill fast.

“What on earth do you think you’re doing? Look at my dress, Joshua; now you want to cop a feel?”

He chuckled, and it made her want to strangle him. “Calm down. I wasn’t trying to feel you up. I feel terrible about the drink and was only trying to help.”

“Oh well, thank God you were here. I’m going to have to go home now before the party has even started. Just look what you did to it. Why are you driving me insane?”

“That could be a good thing, right?”

“Ugh! Just leave me be, Joshua.”

He grabbed her arm, and it took her attention away from her dress. “Caroline, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spill the drink on you. I would never want to ruin your night.”

“Well, did you think it was appropriate to grab my ass? I’m not a single woman any longer.”

“I thought you might like it. You used to like it. I just can’t imagine you marrying that guy.”

Caroline couldn’t help shaking her head. He really was trying to make her lose her mind; that much was obvious. She had never seen anyone more confident than Joshua, and it was still so appealing to her. There was some weird gravitational pull between them, and she couldn’t deny it, even if she wanted to. It didn’t help that he was an exceptionally good looking man. But the moment he opened his mouth, she felt like slapping him. She had no idea how it felt to walk around so self-assured all the time, but Joshua had it down to a tee. He wasn’t fazed at all by the fact that she was so unimpressed with him.

“Aren’t you going to congratulate me on my acquittal?”

She softened a bit when he said that. “I actually saw that on the news. Congratulations, I was very happy to see that you were going to be okay.”

“Thank you.”

Joshua brushed her hair behind her ear, and she looked at him with surprise. His touch was like having electricity move through her body at all times. She never felt that way with Mike. With him, it was always about feeling safe, and that was a good feeling to have with your spouse.

She looked up into his eyes, and her breathing became labored. Her heart started beating in her chest, and her dress was all but forgotten. She needed him to back off, to give her some space because she was having a hard time breathing. Caroline was overwhelmed by Joshua, especially having him so close to her.

“Look, you need to stop touching me. What’s wrong with you? You can just put your hands on me whenever you want.”

He smiled, and the way he was looking at her stopped her from speaking. “I always loved how sassy you were. I miss that.”

“Oh, please Joshua, spare me.”

“I do.”

She threw her hands up in the air, feeling frustrated with him.

He laughed. “Look ... I can help you with the dress. There is no reason you have to leave. Come on, I have an idea. We’ll fix that dress if I have to suck every last drop out of it.”

She couldn’t believe the things that came out of his mouth and couldn’t help laughing. Joshua grabbed her hand and led her through groups of people. She blushed furiously at the thought that people were seeing her so unhinged and with a cocktail down the front of her. She knew she needed to avoid Joshua at all costs. He was trouble, and she shouldn’t be going anywhere with him. How had she managed to get tangled up with him again in a matter of minutes? He always seemed to have such power over her that she just followed him wherever he went.

They slipped into the hallway, and Joshua still held her hand as if he was saving her from something. It wasn’t long before they found the women’s bathroom, and they slipped inside.

“I really don’t think I need you in here, Joshua. What if someone walks in?”

She pulled her hand from his and instantly felt the absence of it. It made her feel sad that there was a level of longing there. She sighed deeply and watched him as he turned on the tap and tested the temperature. He then grabbed some paper towels and damped them enough that they wouldn’t make her dress any worse than it was, which was saying a lot. The stain wasn’t that horrible; at least he hadn’t been drinking coke.

Caroline watched as he dabbed lightly on her dress, and she almost smiled as he did so. No, she was not going to let herself get pulled in by him again. The stain was actually disappearing, but now her dress was wet, which wouldn’t be much better. It looked terrible, and she felt tears spring up in her eyes.

“The stain is gone, thank you.”

“I told you it would work out.”

“It’s wet, Joshua. I can’t go out like this.”

He took a look around the bathroom and smiled. She glanced to where he was looking and couldn’t help smiling with him. “This will work,” he said.

“You’re brilliant.”

“I know,” he said with a wink. He pulled her over to the dryer and pushed the button. Hot air blasted onto the dress, and she watched as it started to dry. She had to give him some credit for the quick thinking and couldn’t be happier that the issue was being solved. She had just arrived at the party and didn’t want to return home so early. She was hoping to enjoy herself and do some good for a great cause. Caroline was determined to enjoy herself whether Joshua was there to annoy her or not.

“It’s working, thank God. You’re lucky because I was going to kill you.”

“Right, that wouldn’t have been good. You’re welcome, though. I’m glad I could help. I hope the dress isn’t ruined.”

She was about to answer him when she felt him close behind her. He was so close that she could feel his breath against her neck. His mouth was close to her ear when he whispered, “There’s just something about you, Caroline. I go nuts when I’m around you. Being near you feels right; I know you can feel it too.”

Caroline’s eyes fluttered closed, and the heat from his body so close to hers ignited a fire inside her. She felt dizzy, and when his hands found their way to her ass, she almost died.

“So firm.”

She gasped. She did not want to be feeling this way with him, but her body felt completely different. She wanted to be consumed by him in every way. One minute she had been appalled by what he did to her dress, and the next, she was okay with his hands on her body. She shuddered underneath him and allowed herself to feel everything her body was telling her. She was burning up and could barely stand it. There was a throb between her legs that she hadn’t felt in some time. Things were just different between her and Mike, not bad, just not all consuming. That was a good thing, though, she didn’t need to feel like she was in another world all the time. Mike was someone that would keep her safe, no matter what.

She tried to shake off her thoughts. She needed to stop things before they got out of control. She did not want to be feeling anything for Joshua. He was the one that had walked away from her; it was his choice. He couldn’t just keep coming back into her life and confusing her like that. She had always been so attracted to him, though, but where had that ever got her? She just continued to get hurt by him. She turned around suddenly, his hands leaving her ass. He pushed her against the wall.

“Joshua, stop. We can’t do this.”

It was like he didn’t hear her as he smiled and bent down to kiss her. It was just how she remembered it to be, warm and inviting. She kissed him back and felt the same passion and intensity between them. She had never felt so raw in all her life; he just opened her up again. They kissed, and those kisses were taking her breath away. She pushed against his chest, knowing that she had to put a stop to it.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong? You feel so incredible.”

“It’s too much, Joshua, I can’t do this, and you know that.”

“That’s not true. You want this; I know you do. You are with the wrong man; how can you not see that?”

He smiled as he bent down to her again. She had zero control at that moment and was losing the ability to care. She wanted to be consumed, and he was confusing her. Why was he so confident that she belonged with him when he had yet to claim her? Would it be so bad to just let go with him, let him claim her? She could barely think straight anymore, and when he kissed her, she had to wonder as well if she should be with someone else. If Mike was the one, then how could she feel this intensity with another man? Caroline couldn’t remember the last time that she had felt that way before. She longed for the passion that she felt with Joshua, but he was a loose cannon, someone she couldn’t depend on.

Joshua continued to kiss her, tasting her lips over and over again. She could smell his musky scent, and it drove her crazy. He cupped her chin and kissed her mouth gently. They started off softly but then continued with increasing intensity. His mouth pressed hard against hers, and she moaned softly. His hands were in her hair, tugging gently. They were so close together, it was like they were one. She was shocked that their bodies really hadn’t molded together; they were so fused together. Joshua’s tongue entered her mouth and played with hers. He took her tongue into his mouth and sucked on it slowly. She moaned, eager to have him. His kisses consumed her as he licked and nipped at her lips. She was losing control and could feel it. She felt paralyzed beneath his touch and wasn’t sure how much more she could take. He had total control of her body, and she didn’t think that she could pull away even if she wanted to. Caroline just knew that she needed him more than anything. He was such a good kisser she had almost forgotten.

Joshua cupped her breasts in his hands and kneaded them. Her nipples grew hard underneath his touch.

“You make me insane, Caroline. Your body is incredible. I want you out of that dress.”

She gasped in shock. Did he really think that they were going to have sex in the bathroom? She glanced towards the door, surprised that they hadn’t already been discovered. She wasn’t sure what she would do if someone walked in on them right then. She would be so embarrassed.

The thoughts that ran through her mind though were also embarrassing. She wanted him, and the things she was thinking about were taking over any rational thought she might have. Caroline couldn’t believe that Joshua managed to have her pinned up against a wall in the women’s bathroom. She knew that she should get away from him, pull away and run out of the bathroom. That would be the best thing that she could do, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Her dominant side had completely taken over, and she wanted to be there with him. She enjoyed his hands on her body and had to admit to herself that she had missed him terribly. His tongue was exploring her mouth, and she felt lost inside it all. He began to lift her dress, and she froze. He was going to try to have sex with her right then and there. Would she let him?

His hands were on her ass once again, and she moaned against his kisses. She heard voices outside of the door, and that snapped her immediately back to reality.

“Wait, stop. There is someone outside.”

He froze, and it sounded like someone was about to come into the bathroom. She looked down at herself and couldn’t believe she had allowed herself to be in that position. She pushed him off of her and fled the bathroom, almost running into a woman coming in. Joshua called out after her, but she kept going until she found herself outside of the hotel and looking for a cab.