Chapter Nineteen

Caroline was spent; she couldn’t remember ever feeling so exhausted. Labour had been quite an experience and one that no one could ever prepare you for. She had read the books and even watched the videos. Friends and family had told her what to expect, but despite all their advice and the research she had conducted herself, it was still nothing like she had ever imagined. It was worse, far worse. An exhausting labor that was the worst pain she had ever experienced. Her labor itself wasn’t that long, but those five hours had been long enough; it had felt like an eternity of pain. The contractions had ripped through her without any mercy. She couldn’t imagine it being any worse, and yet it had gone on for hours on end. She had believed in a drug-free labour and had got her money’s worth. She had felt it was the best decision for her and the baby, but the downside was that she had felt everything. It had truly been the longest five hours of her life. Thank God there had been a benefit to the whole thing in the end. She wondered, though, how people had five kids—she couldn’t imagine going through that so many times. It was almost barbaric.

Thankfully, she had a private suite, compliments of her loving husband. It was luxurious and felt like a home away from home. She loved the fact that she had her privacy at such a time. The suite that she was staying in was just as big as her master bedroom in the colonial house they owned. It had everything that she could possibly need to make her comfortable. There was a flat-screen TV, though she had yet to use it. The suite resembled an actual bedroom to make guests feel right at home. She had packed her overnight bag with necessities from home so she had everything that was needed. Mike had shown up to the hospital right on time and held her hand during the labor. When the baby finally arrived, it was a beautiful baby girl. She had been overjoyed, picturing the darling little thing wearing the precious dresses from her line. She would dote on the girl and make her feel like a true princess. Looking down into her little eyes for the first time had completed Caroline’s life. She couldn’t imagine needing anything more in life now that she had that precious little girl. When she had reluctantly handed the child over to Mike, he had looked down at her in awe, a truly endearing sight. He had fallen in love at first sight with their daughter and had agreed to name her Bella. Little Bella was a true representation of their love for one another.

They had a staff of nurses that came in frequently to help out and check on little Bella. It made things so much easier for Caroline as she recovered. She wasn’t planning on breastfeeding because her schedule would not allow for it, and they would have a nanny at the house to help out anyways. She needed to get back into the office as soon as possible and because of that would have to be flexible with feedings.

Caroline laid there in bed, waiting for Mike to arrive. She was famished, and he promised to bring her in some food. She was still very sore from the labor and so didn’t move around as much as she would like. She considered flipping on the TV, but instead decided to read for a little while. Bella was in the nursery getting a checkup from the doctors, and she missed her already. She would need to have a bath when she came back to the room, and Caroline wanted to be the one to do it. She loved being hands on with Bella and knew that having a nanny would be difficult for her. She had a hard time delegating for her company; how much harder would it be to delegate to a nanny with her own child? It wasn’t going to be easy, but Mike insisted on having a nanny as he grew up with one and felt it was essential, especially if Caroline wanted to go back to work. There were times that she felt that Mike would prefer if she stayed at home and didn’t work at all. She knew that he was immensely proud of her for all her achievements, but he felt it was unnecessary for her to work because he was already wealthy. She didn’t care about money, of course—she just wanted to have something to call her own.

Caroline had worked hard to get the company to where it was, and she adored fashion. She knew she would go slowly insane in being a stay at home mom. She wanted to be more than just a husband and mother. Running a fashion line defined her, and it was her own unique mark on the world. How could she want anything less than that? She could still be a mother and a husband with her company, the three fulfilled her more than anything ever could. It was what she wanted, and although she didn’t agree with having a nanny, she would accept the help if it meant that Mike would be okay with her having her own career as well. Maybe he was a little old-fashioned. She had never really thought of him in that way, but it was obvious he liked things a certain way. Since she didn’t really care one way or another, Caroline just let things slide off her shoulders. It wasn’t enough to worry about, after all.

She had read about two chapters when Mike walked through the door holding Bella. She smiled, knowing he must have gone to the nursery as soon as he entered the hospital. She loved seeing their sweet bundle in his arms—they looked so cute together. He came to the side of the bed and bent down so that she could see Bella. She was sleeping, and her sweet face was rosy and just darling. She looked up at him. “Is the doctor finished with her? Everything is okay?”

“Yes, she’s as fit as can be. I managed to snatch her up before they could put her back to bed. So she’s ours for the time being.” He looked down at Bella. “My God, she’s as beautiful as you are, Caroline.”

“Can I hold her?” Caroline held out her arms, and Mike placed her gently in them. She nuzzled into the neck of the little one and kissed the top of her head. She had that sweet baby scent to her, and Caroline loved breathing her scent in. It was intoxicating, and she loved her little one more than she could ever have imagined.

“Yes, you are right; she’s very beautiful, but I can’t take all the credit for it.”

“Well, maybe I had some help in it, but she looks just like you, my love.”

Mike bent down and kissed her on the forehead as she nuzzled her daughter. Everything was just perfect; she couldn’t ask for a single thing more in her life.

“Bella is just the perfect name, I’m glad you decided to use it. It suits her just fine.”

Caroline smiled. “Thank you. I love it as well. She looks just like a Bella.”

The door to their suite opened, and a nurse walked in with a package. Both Caroline and Mike turned to watch as she came towards them. It was one of those “It’s a Girl” baskets filled with all kinds of goodies. It was beautiful and was tied perfectly with a pink balloon. She smiled as the nurse set it down on the table. “It looks like another package arrived for the little Bella. I will just leave it here.”

“Oh, Bella is getting spoiled rotten to be sure.”

The nurse smiled. “She’s one lucky little girl.” She turned and left the room, leaving them alone once again. Caroline looked at the basket from afar, unable to move with the baby in her arms. She watched as Mike went over to look at the basket. She was excited to see what was inside; it looked rather elaborate.

“Who is it from?”

“Not sure.” He looked around for a card to see who had sent the grand package. It was obvious that a lot of money had been spent on the basket, and she wondered who would go to that kind of trouble. It had to have been someone who didn’t already attend the shower, and she didn’t know who that would be.

“There isn’t a card?”

“No. Oh, wait. There’s a note. There isn’t a name on it anywhere, though. Who would send such a package and not say who it’s from? That’s a little weird isn’t it?” His brow furrowed, and she tried to think of who would send the package.

“Yeah, it is a little weird. I wasn’t expecting anything today. I’ve been getting some flowers, but that’s about it. I can’t imagine who would send that package.”

Mike was looking inside the package, and she found it weird that he hadn’t brought the basket to her to look at yet. He was just rummaging through it as if looking for something. His behavior was just as bizarre as the mystery package.

“The things inside this basket are very expensive. Very expensive. I don’t understand why such an expensive gift would come with no card—how are we supposed to thank this person?”

“Can I see the basket, Mike? I would like to see what’s inside as well.”

He ignored her as he continued looking inside the basket. Caroline was becoming annoyed as she watched him. He wasn’t even paying attention to the beautiful things inside—he was just sorting through it as if looking for a clue. She couldn’t imagine what had come over him, but he was irritating her. She wanted to look at the package herself and see what there was for Bella. From afar, the items looked quite chic, and she knew there was an outfit or two in there.

He suddenly turned towards her, and his gaze narrowed. Confused, she just stared back at him, trying to understand why he suddenly looked angry. She had never seen someone so worked up over a baby basket. Maybe the stress of work was starting to get to him. She wasn’t sure what it was but wasn’t in the mood for weird behavior; she just wanted to look at the basket.

“The basket is from him isn’t it?”

Her brow furrowed. “Who are you referring to?”

“Don’t act dumb, Caroline. You know exactly who I’m talking about.”

“Excuse me? Actually, I have no idea why you have decided to suddenly have a temper tantrum. What has you so upset?”

He just stared at her, and she was growing angry. She looked down at Bella and decided to let the anger go. He was itching for a fight, and she had no idea why. She wasn’t going to fall for it, though, and fight in front of Bella. The little thing was sleeping, and she wasn’t going to do anything to change that.

“Can I please see the basket? It looks beautiful, and I want to see what’s inside.”

“Are you actually going to lie there and pretend that you have no idea who sent the package?”

Caroline’s mouth dropped open. She could not believe what she was hearing. He looked pissed at her, and she couldn’t imagine why. How would she know who sent the package? She saw it at the same time that he saw it. He was behaving irrationally, and she didn’t like the look of it. It reminded her of the old days when they used to fight. She had thought they were over, but maybe it had all been an act.

“What is the matter with you?” Tears collected in her eyes, and she didn’t know what was going on.

“This is from Joshua isn’t it? I should have known as soon as I saw it.”

She laughed, not knowing what else she could do at that point. “You must be kidding me? How the hell would I know who sent it, Mike? I’m as puzzled as you are. As far as Joshua goes, I haven’t spoken to the man since before the wedding. If he sent the basket, I’m certainly unaware of it.”

He snorted, “If I didn’t know better, I might have to start wondering if Bella is even my child.”

Caroline gasped. Speechless; shock just coursed through her. She stared at Mike as tears streamed down her cheeks. She felt humiliated and betrayed. How could her own husband say something so foul to her? She was appalled by his words and could barely find the words to tell him off. “You have no right to talk to me in that manner. Seriously Mike, what the hell is wrong with you?”

He shook his head slowly, threw his hands up in the air and stormed from the room without looking back at her.

“Mike,” she called out after him.

There was no answer, and he didn’t return to the room. She sat there shocked, unable to process what had happened in the past few minutes. His words had been monstrous, and all over a mystery basket. She had no idea if the basket came from Joshua, but even if it did, it didn’t warrant the kind of reaction she got from Mike. Shock instilled itself inside her as she tried to process his words. She couldn’t believe he had the nerve to suggest that Bella was not his child. To suggest that it was Joshua’s was a little more than she could take. He deserved to have his eyes clawed out for that behavior, but instead, he had marched out without even talking things through with her. Who was the man she had married? It seemed like they were back at square one. As soon as Joshua was mentioned, Mike seemed to lose all sense of himself. She hadn’t seen Joshua in almost a year, and yet they were still fighting about him. Mike was a completely different person when it came to Joshua, and she didn’t like that person at all. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do in the situation, but Mike’s words were unforgivable.

She looked down at Bella, feeling suddenly very sad and lonely. The poor thing had no idea about adult matters. What an innocent world she lived in, for the time being at least. She rocked little Bella and wondered how she had got herself into the mess she was in. She had thought her marriage was okay, but apparently there was something really wrong with it. What had happened to their lovely life? She knew she couldn’t continue to fight in the manner that she was with Mike. She slid off the bed gently and brought Bella to the bassinet and laid her down gently. Bella could sleep comfortably while Caroline took a further look at that package. She was still very much curious about what was inside of it.

She started to pick through the package, marveling at the beautiful things inside. There was literally a silver spoon and some beautiful designer dresses. She smiled, looking through the basket and wondering at the elaborateness of it all. There was a tiny pair of diamond stud earrings in there for a baby. She had planned on getting the little one’s ears pierced in a few months, but what a gift—who would go to all this trouble? Could it really have been Joshua that sent it? After all this time, would he do such a thing? Whoever sent it, certainly had a lot of money to burn. She was smiling from ear to ear when she heard a familiar voice behind her.

“I’m glad you like the basket.”

She froze and then spun around to find Joshua behind her. Just like the first time she met him, her heart slammed against her chest in the most wondrous way. It had been him all along. He had sent the package, had thought about her; after all, this time, he was still thinking about her. She remembered the last time that she saw him in her apartment and realized that after all this time she still loved him. That thought made her sad because she had tried so hard to be a part of another life, and that life was now spiraling out of control. She didn’t understand Mike’s reaction towards her all the time when she was honestly trying to have a happy life with him. But maybe he sensed that all along her heart had never truly been his completely. There had always been a piece of it somewhere else.

“What are you doing here, Joshua? This is a bad idea. If Mike saw you here, I would be filling out divorce papers for sure.” Tears built up in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks.

He gave a shocked expression and was by her side in a second, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tight.

“What’s wrong, Caroline? I didn’t come here to cause you any problems. I’m sorry, that wasn’t my intention, and I had no idea that it would have that kind of effect on you. This is a happy day; you have a new daughter, and you shouldn’t be crying.”

“It’s Mike. He saw the package that you sent, and he went insane. He despises you and knows about our past. He stormed out of here but could be back any minute. If he saw you here, it would be bad on an epic scale. You have no idea.”

Joshua’s eyes grew stormy. “What are you talking about? Why would your husband behave like that? I thought you said he was a kind man; he certainly doesn’t sound like it to me.”

Suddenly Caroline started sobbing. Her feelings about Mike just poured out of her. She felt helpless and confused by the way that Mike treated her when it came to Joshua.

“Dear God. I had no idea Caroline. I should have sent the package with a name, but I thought it was best not to. I fully intended on speaking to Mike if he were here and congratulating him. I feel no ill will for the man, until now, of course. I don’t understand why he’s acting so outrageously; he won—I lost. I haven’t tried to contact you until now, and that was a mistake. I’m sorry. I didn’t send it to cause problems; I just wanted to congratulate you on the baby.”

She looked up at him and felt her heart beat hard all over again. He had that power over her, even after all this time. She didn’t know what to do about that feeling. “He will kill me if he knows you are here.”

“He won’t know. I wasn’t sure how Mike would react if I came up, so I had someone watch the building. I will know he’s coming before he even steps foot in the hospital. You have nothing to worry about. Please, you need to stop crying.”

“What are you doing here, Joshua? You could have called or sent a message. You didn’t need to come to the hospital.”

“I just wanted to see you and your new daughter. Is that so terrible?”

“How did you know that I had a girl?”

“I have my hand in a lot of things, Caroline. I like to know things. I just needed to know that you were happy and well taken care of. It’s important to me.”

“Well, it hasn’t been easy. We’ve had some problems.”

“Newlyweds shouldn’t have any problems. Not big ones anyways. He shouldn’t be leaving you alone at the hospital.”

“You don’t understand. He is obsessed with our past, and he thinks that I still have feelings for you. He can’t get over it.”

“He doesn’t deserve you.”

“And you do?”

He shrugged, and she suddenly felt bad. “I’m sorry. We don’t have to be difficult about this. Mike is a good guy, really. Our relationship has had its bumps because he’s jealous of you. I don’t know why he’s obsessed with you.”

Joshua walked to the bassinet and took a look inside. He grinned as he looked down at Bella. “She’s a beauty, Caroline. No big surprise there.”

Caroline was shocked to see him bend down and scoop Bella up into his arms. She thought he might feel weird about holding another man’s child, but he seemed very comfortable with Bella in his arms.

“What’s her name?”

“Bella.”

He chuckled. “What a tiny little thing. It’s amazing.”

They looked so cute together that it brought fresh tears to her eyes. She gulped down a lump in her throat and said something that she knew she shouldn’t say. “I picked the wrong guy, didn’t I? I made the wrong choice. I loved him, but I shouldn’t have married him.”

Joshua looked up at her in surprise. He pursed his lips and then looked back down at Bella. He gently set her down in the bassinet and slowly walked over to Caroline.

“This is not your fault Caroline; if anything, it’s mine. I waited too long before I told you how I felt and that was wrong. How could I possibly be mad when you finally choose someone else. I fucked up, not you.”

He wrapped his arms around her once again and hugged her tight. She sobbed into his chest feeling hopeless about everything.

“It was not my intention to upset you today. I’m sorry. I just needed to see you.”

Joshua’s phone rang, and he looked at the message, clicking off of it suddenly. He pulled away from her.” Enjoy your baby Caroline, she is the only reason in the world to be happy.” He bent down and kissed her on the lips, and she felt complete again, like he had never left. He turned from her just then and left the room so quickly that it was hard to believe he was ever there in the first place. She glanced at the basket and took a deep sigh. She returned to her bed, wiping away at her tears, trying to find her composure.

A few minutes later, Mike walked through the suite door surprising her. He had flowers in his hand and a sheepish look on his face. She almost laughed at the sight of him. So that was why Joshua had left so quickly. The ringing phone had been a notification that Mike had arrived back at the hospital. She was thankful he left in time because she couldn’t even imagine what Mike would have done had he found Joshua in her room. He would have assumed that she had been seeing him all along.

“Caroline, I am sorry for the way that I reacted.”

She put her hands up to block him from touching her. “Oh, please don’t you dare. You don’t get to speak to me the way you did and then come back here with flowers like everything’s going to be okay.”

He stood there and stared at her in shock. He had never heard her speak to him in that way. She didn’t care; she would not be spoken to in that way by someone who was supposed to cherish her.

“If you can’t get a handle on that jealousy, I will leave you.”

She closed her eyes, and that ended the conversation. She needed to get some rest before Bella awoke again.