chapter Four
Enough
Toby
A year later…
It’s been a long fucking week, mid-terms, basketball practice, annoying girlfriends, you name it. The only bright spot has been seeing Kamara every day at school. With Kwäzē in college, I’ve taken it upon myself to look after her.
Senior year is proving to be a pain in my ass. I have more tasks at the office, during my free time, which I don’t mind. Wyatt’s back home. I get to hang out with him more, since he’s been working for dad.
Although, I don’t get to hang out as much as I would like, because I have school. I feel like I’m missing out on all the cool shit. Hearing John and Wyatt talk about their nights compared to mine, sucks.
Then there’s school and the annoying shit. I’m over the girls I used to deal with. They’re all the same and worried about the same bullshit, prom and who they plan to get to take them.
I didn’t think I could be more annoyed with high school. Well, that was until today. Today, I learned what Kamara has truly been going through for the last four years. I’ve always known that being here hasn’t been easy for her. I just didn’t know the source of her challenges.
In Kwäzē’s absence, a lot has come to light. I’m ready to flip my fucking shit. I’m storming the halls like a fucking mad man. I can’t believe this shit. I feel like breaking something.
Bean and Brax are flanking my sides, as I make my way to my destination. First, I need to find a certain little secret keeper. Almost four years, four fucking years, she’s been keeping this shit to herself.
Kwäzē is going to flip his shit, when I tell him. I know he’s going to be as pissed as I am that she’s been suffering through this, right under our noses. The things I’ve learned have torn a hole right through my chest.
Kamara is one of the sweetest, gentlest people I know. She wouldn’t hurt a fly and would probably apologize if she did by accident. To know the cruel shit that’s been happening to her is disgusting.
“There she is,” Bean says, with determination in her voice.
Bean may not show it, but she likes Kamara. Our different personalities have placed us all in different directions, over the last few years. I know Bean misses Nellie and my older brother, Noah. She hasn’t handled that well.
I follow the direction Bean points in. My gaze looks through the glass door panels, leading outside of the school. Sure enough, there Kamara is, sitting outside on the football field bleachers, all by herself. Her big hair is blowing in the light breeze.
I’m amazed. I know the fucked up shit that just went down, yet she’s sitting with her head held high, as she looks out over the field. Not for the first time, since I’ve known Kamara, I think of royalty. It is just in the way she carries herself.
Even when she is going through hell, she manages to look like a pillar of strength to the outside world. The shit that she must have going through in her head. I don’t even know how I’m just finding out about this.
We’ve had classes together. I’ve seen the bullies that have been fucking with her every single day and I didn’t know what they were putting her through. It makes me sick that I know some of them personally. A little too personally. Yet, I never knew what was going on.
“Kamara,” I call when we reach the side of the bleachers, close enough for her to hear and see us.
Since that day in the gym, at the office, I’ve backed way off and kept my distance, when it comes to pursuing Kamara. I know I freaked her out that day. I would rather have her as a friend than lose her altogether, because I’m a horny bastard.
Kamara hasn’t flirted with me since that day either. I still want to kick myself for my behavior back then. It was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, but I won’t let it keep me from fixing this.
Kamara jumps, startled by my voice. Yeah, that has gotten pretty deep. I don’t miss that she quickly wipes tears away, before she turns to face me. Even with red rimmed eyes she’s beautiful.
I’ve heard the guys talk about her. Mara the body, they call her, but she’s more than a body. Yeah, Kamara is stacked like a motherfucker, tall and tight. Still, she is stunning beyond that. Yeah, stunning, a word I never thought I would use for a girl.
Kamara puts every girl in this school to shame. And trust me, there are a lot of girls that have shown out in our senior year, but none of them like Kamara.
Kamara’s beauty just has something about it. A grace and elegance that can’t be competed with, that’s what she possesses. It is beyond her years, something so classic and perfect. I know my brothers would tease the shit out of me if I explained what I feel and see, when I look at Kamara, but I don’t give a shit.
I think the girl is perfect, every deep dark chocolate itch of her. My ginger colored ass would be lucky to even have her look at me, the way I look at her. I often think about that day she tried to flirt with me, and wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t fucked it up so badly.
“Is something wrong,” she asks, as she looks nervously between Brax, Bean, and me.
“Yeah, something is wrong and I’m about to fix it. No one in this school will dare to fuck with you, when I get done,” I grind out.
“Oh, no,” Kamara gasps. Her face crumbles right before my eyes. “Please, Toby, I wish to leave this alone.”
“You’ve left this alone long enough,” I growl. “How long were you going to keep this from me…from Kwäzē? I can’t believe this has been happening all this time.”
“What good would it have done had I told you or my brother? They would just find new ways to make my life hell,” she says through trembling lips.
“Not on my watch, they wouldn’t have. This ends now,” I demand.
“Just let it go, Toby. It will be over when we graduate,” she sighs.
“Are you kidding me? I’m not letting this go. They flushed your clothes in the toilet, after breaking into your damn locker. This will only get worse because they’re comfortable enough to do it. This is bullshit. I’m not going to let it continue,” I seethe.
“How did you find out anyway,” Kamara narrows her eyes at me, as if I’m the enemy.
“I just told you. They’re comfortable now that your brother isn’t around. I overheard some girls talking about it. Then, I started asking questions and I find out that Kerry and her friends have been bullying you all this time,” my voice rises with each of my words. At first, I don’t even realize I’m yelling.
Brax’s hand on my shoulder helps me to reel it back in. I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. I don’t think I’ve ever been this pissed off in my life.
“Why are you yelling at me, Toby? I did nothing to those girls. What is it you want from me,” Kamara straightens her back to fuss at me.
I lean down to get face to face with her. “You should have told me,” I respond, more angrily than I mean to.
“Told you what? That your girlfriend has made my life miserable. That I wake up in the morning and dread coming here. That Kerry and her friends whisper mean things to me.
“Telling me to go back to Africa, that I sound stupid, that I’m ugly, that I smell, and my skin is the color of shit? You want me to relive every cruel thing they have done to me…destroying my things, flushing my books, bags, clothing, it is all nothing new.
“What good would it do to tell you? To be humiliated all over again, by telling you?” Her chest heaves with her words, and mines crumbles under them.
I lift my hand to cup her face, but catch myself and pull back. I lock eyes with her and the sadness there, sends me to the brink of my restraint. I pull on my own strength to make sure she hears every word I say.
“You are none of those things. They’re just jealous of how beautiful you are,” I point at the school behind me. “They don’t matter, they’re words don’t matter. But I’ll tell you one thing, whether they matter or not, they’ll never speak them to you again. Not while there is breath in my body.”
“Toby,” Kamara starts with fresh tears gathering.
“No,” I cut her off, this time reaching to cup her face and wipe her tears away. I swallow hard. Her skin feels like silk, under my rough fingertips. “Kwäzē is my best friend. He is like a brother to me. No one fucks with my family. Come on, you’re going to stand up for yourself.”
“No,” Kamara says firmly. I see something shift in her eyes. I try to read it before she shuts it down, but it passes so quickly. “My father would not approve of this. No, just leave it.”
Her words cause me to pause. I’ve seen how Mr. Naidoo is a bit different with Kamara, than he is with Kwäzē. He treats Kamara like a princess. I’ve rarely seen her lift a finger, when I’m in their home.
I nod to myself. This will be dealt with today. “Fine,” I huff, reaching for her hand and tugging her to her feet.
“What are you doing,” she gasps.
“You won’t have to fight them today, but you will be there while we set this shit straight,” I grumble, as I start off of the bleachers, back into the school.
I storm into the school, dragging her along with me. Her long legs have no trouble following mine, as I eat up the distance. I do my best to ignore the electricity that’s bouncing back and forth between us, while I keep a hold of her wrist.
Under different circumstances, I would be tempted to slide my fingers between hers. If only to feel her soft skin against mine, and take in the undeniable charge between us. I sneak a peek to my side and find her eyes locked on my hand against her flesh.
Her wide eyes tell me she feels it too. She bats those long lashes and I swear she looks just like a doll. I tear my eyes from her and focus on finding the means girls club that made the mistake of thinking they could fuck with my girl.
I mean, my best friend’s sister. Get it together, Black. Fuck!
I know just where Kerry and her friends like to hang this time of day. It takes us no time at all to find them. Their giggles fill the hall, sounding like a pack of hyenas to my ears.
Someone should’ve told these girls, being pretty requires more than looks. There have been times when I wanted to gnaw my fucking arm off to get away from Kerry. Now, looking at her, I don’t know what the appeal has been for all of these years. I should’ve left her ass alone a long time ago.
My relationship with Kerry was just convenient. I couldn’t go after what I wanted so I substituted with what was there, making an offer. We’ve been on again, off again, since freshman year.
Honestly, I’ve never considered her my girlfriend. That was a title she gave herself and I allowed it. Anytime I lost interest and found someone else worth spending time with, I would tell her to back off. Eventually, we would just repeat the cycle.
If I would’ve known the hell she’s been putting Kamara through, I would’ve dropped her without a thought or a care. Of all the girls I’ve dated, Kerry is the one I’ve never taken home. I think I knew deep down inside, she’s an ugly person and my mother would have read right through her.
“You want to explain to me what your problem is with Kamara,” I nearly bellow, when I stop right in front of Kerry.
Kerry’s eyes round, as she tries to play innocent. I’m not buying it. I finally release Kamara’s wrist and fold my arms across my chest. I give Kerry a look, showing her I see right through her bullshit.
Kerry shrugs are shoulders and starts to sway from side to side, as if she is being alluring. She can give it a rest. I’m not impressed. She is actually just pissing me off.
“I don’t have a problem with her,” Kerry says, batting her lashes at me.
“That’s funny, because from what I hear, you do. You also have a problem with bullying her,” I say through tight lips.
Kerry waves me off and snorts. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never bullied you, Kamara. Have I?”
I look to Kamara to see if she will reply. I already know she won’t. Or so I thought, she surprises me. When I look at Kamara, she has her head held high.
The spark in her eyes does me proud. It also makes me a bit curious. There is still something about Kamara I haven’t figured out. Something her entire family has been hiding, since we meant more than three and a half years ago.
I’m beyond intrigued, as I watch the transformation happen before my eyes. I can’t help but wonder what has brought it on. Whatever has, I’m impressed, but something inside makes this my fight, my battle, not hers.
I get this feeling like I need to protect Kamara. I won’t let this get out of hand. Kamara is right, she’s a lady. I will protect her honor here, but first, I want to see the sparks fly just a little.
~B~
Kamara
I’ve taken this treatment for so long, a part of me just started to accept it. I have become the African girl that these girls have chosen to taunt. Sometimes, I think this is my punishment.
I have shrunken away from my responsibilities and now I am being punished. Yes, this path was chosen for me. For reasons that have yet to be explained to me, but I still feel like this is my punishment for the crimes I still don’t have a name for.
However, having Toby stand here ready to fight for me changes so much. I thought I had reached the end of my rope today. I have been pushed so far.
My father would not approve of me fighting in school. It is the very reason I have allowed this to go on for so long, without starting an altercation. My father has asked me to stay out of trouble, to keep as he says, a low profile.
Only, now, I feel like I can draw strength from Toby. I do want this to end. The dress they ruined was a gift from my grandmother back home. I cherish the gifts that come from my homeland. They are few and far between and take such sacrifice to be delivered.
If it had been any other item of clothing, I wouldn’t have felt so deeply about it. I would have stood here as I am now, in my gym clothes, waiting for the day to end. Only this, this was a blow to my heart.
I’m so tired of this. Again, I feel trapped by my secrets, but I’m tired of it. In this moment, I don’t care if the whole world knows who I am. I just know in my heart, I won’t be made to feel like this any longer.
“Yes, you have. Yes, you do bully me,” I reply to Kerry.
I watch as her face darkens with anger, sparking anger of my own. I ball my fists at my sides, as I think of my ruined dress. My anger flares more, as my mother’s voice fills my ears.
Just this morning, she received news from Nigeria. I found her upset in the kitchen, while making breakfast. My mother usually finds peace in the kitchen. I was alarmed the moment I saw her distressed.
“Mommy, what is it?” I asked, rushing to her side.
“I just got news from home. Your grandmother is not doing so well,” she said with sadness in her eyes.
After breakfast, I went to my room to change into the dress my grandmother sent me. I wanted to wear it to remind me of her. It has been so long, since I have seen her in person. I have dreamed and hoped for the day I will get to see my family back home again.
“Stop lying,” Kerry snarls, pulling me back from my thoughts, only to heighten my anger.
“Something tells me you’re the one lying,” Rebecca snaps back.
I see that Rebecca’s fists are balled as well. It warms my heart to see I do have friends here. I’ve seen Rebecca having trouble of her own around this place. The other girls don’t bully her to her face, but they talk about her and tell tales, like mean girls do.
“Bean, just beat her ass. I have shit to do,” Braxton demands.
I gasp and look to Braxton. He shrugs his shoulders and mirrors his brother’s stance. Toby still has his arms folded over his chest, but his eyes are trained on me.
“Whatever,” Kerry huffs. Then, she mumbles under her breath. “Looks like the jungle bunny is wearing off on them.”
Toby’s head whips in her direction. I can feel the tension that starts to roll off of him. “What the fuck did you say?”
“Whatever, Toby. You think I don’t see the way you look at her? You stop everything to stare at her. She’s nothing special,” Kerry hisses.
My brows wrinkle at Kerry’s words. Toby steps closer to her. His cheeks are pink, but I’m not sure if it’s from anger or embarrassment.
“So, you’ve been picking on her because you think I like her? You’re pathetic. If I do, it’s none of your business. And let me correct you, she is more special than you’ll ever be.”
My mouth pops open. Toby hasn’t flirted with me or shown interest, since that day almost a year ago. I felt foolish after fleeing the gym that afternoon. Toby’s words had hit too close to the truth.
When he called me, Princess, I freaked out. Well, between that and my body’s reaction to his flirting, I was overwhelmed. Toby kept his distance after that day.
I’d been embarrassed by my own behavior so I’ve kept mine, as well. Although, after time, I thought I imagined it all. There was no way Toby had been flirting with me.
“Before she moved here you were all into me,” Kerry hisses back. “Then here she comes, thinking she’s better than us. She’s nothing but a dirty African booty scratcher.”
“Oh, my God,” Rebecca shakes her head. “I’m embarrassed for you. You’re just stupid.”
“Good thing our mother raised us not to call girls names,” Braxton snorts. “It would be so wrong to call you a dirty slut. It would be even more wrong to point out that the reason my brother won’t come near you anymore is because you’ve fucked half the basketball team.”
“Brax,” Toby says with warning. “We won’t be stooping to her level today.”
“Stooping to my level? You had no problem with me being a slut for you,” Kerry snarls.
“Already repenting for that one,” Toby says dryly. He then drops his tone to a low and menacing one. “Stay the fuck away from her. Don’t talk to her, don’t touch her, don’t even look at her.”
“Or what?” Kerry challenges.
Toby looks over to Rebecca, tipping his head towards Kerry. Rebecca rolls her eyes, but just as quickly she looks around, then grabs Kerry by the collar swiftly. She backs her into the alcove, behind where Kerry and her friends had been standing.
Kerry’s friends gasp and scatter, leaving her to her own devices. Toby nudges me to follow Rebecca and Kerry into the alcove. Braxton follows behind us. Rebecca pins Kerry’s back against the wall, hard.
Toby walks over to get in Kerry’s ear, I quickly step closer wanting to know what he will say. I’m in shock, but my curiosity is winning my shock over. Rebecca is quick and apparently very strong.
“You so much as look in Kamara’s direction, I will make up reasons for Bean to beat the shit out of you, every single day. If your friends come for her, you’re going to get the ass whipping for it.
“Oh, and don’t think it is over. I’m going to make sure you know how Kamara has felt for the last three and a half years,” Toby growls. “Don’t fuck with my family, ever.”
“We got this, Bro. Get Kamara out of here. I’ll stand look out,” Braxton says, while patting Toby on the back.
Toby nods and turns for me. He wraps an arm around my shoulder and leads me out of the alcove. My heart is slamming against my chest, and not because of the muffled cries we leave behind.
“Thank you, Toby,” I manage to say, when we make it up the hallway.
“You don’t have to thank me,” he stops and turns me to face him. His eyes burning into mine. “Don’t ever hide shit from me again. I’ll always protect you. If someone is fucking with you, you come to me. Your brother is like a brother to me. You’re family. I take care of my family.”
I bow my head. Ah, yes, I almost lost my head and thought Toby protected my honor for other reasons. How silly of me.
Toby places his fingertips beneath my chin and lifts my head. “Do you hear me?” he asks softly.
“Yes, Toby, I hear you.”