“FLIGHT 2295 FOR ATLANTA is now boarding at gate B29.”
Every thirty seconds for the last hour, some airline employee’s voice has boomed over the speakers, which are everywhere. It’s the reason I’m on my second cup of coffee, and why I plan to have some alcohol as soon as I’m on the plane. Too damn early to deal with all of these people.
LAX is just as busy as always, and I’ll be happy to go from thousands to a few hundred where I can plug in with a movie or music and forget them all. The week has been long, the last three even longer. Everything in my life is being flipped.
It may seem like running, going back to Boston and my family, but it’s not. At least that’s what I tell myself. I’ve been gone for seven years, thousands of miles from everything I’d ever known.
My phone buzzes on the table, and I glance down at it in reflex. His name is on the screen. I read the first few words of the text before I can stop myself. Evie, talk to me. I love— I look away, unable to read any more. There is way too much I’ve learned about the man, about what he’s done behind my back, that I can say if that’s his definition of love, then I want no part of it.
It’ll be good to return to Boston. As much as I love California, I’ve missed my family and friends. I’ll miss the weather and the friends I’ve made here over the years, but in the end, this is the right move for me.
No reminders of him, the comfort of home, and a chance to start over.
It’ll be evening by the time I arrive and my brother, Cameron, is going to meet me for dinner. The sad part is that I don’t really want to. Not today. The day is going to be long, the travel exhausting, and I’m just not in the mood to dive into my sudden change in location.
I pull up Facebook on my phone, an app I rarely use, and check in on him. There is a new picture of him at the top of his profile. It’s one of those cliché testosterone gym shots showing off his muscles, which look huge but are necessary for his job.
What makes me catch my breath is the man standing next to him. It’s been years since I’ve seen him in the flesh, but from the pictures my brother posts, his best friend just gets better looking with age.
Niko was my childhood crush, my first love, and every time I see him, that feeling starts to creep back in. I’ve never stopped thinking about him. The romantic teenager in me is all hearts and love, but the woman in me is trying hard not to lick the abs he’s showing off or notice how that smirk has me squirming in my seat. His eyes are hypnotic, his demeanor cocky, and he’s a man I’ve fantasized about more over the years than I care to admit.
I’m sure I’ll see him at some point and he’ll make me a complete and utter blabbering mess, just like he used to. The two of them are practically joined at the hip, so it’s inevitable. I go to sign off when my messenger app shows I have a message. I look to see who it’s from and, even though I’m exhausted, I can’t keep the grin from taking over my face.
Alyson Payne: Why the hell are you on Facebook when you and your two Christmas hams for an ass are supposed to be on a plane right now heading closer to me and my chicken bone ass?
I laugh out loud and then cover my mouth in embarrassment when a snort escapes. I look around to see if anyone sitting around me in the airport is looking, but if they heard, they don’t care or they’re just used to hearing crazy people snort all alone while they sit and wait for their plane. I type back to my best friend, Alyson. She’s one of the people I’ve missed most since deciding to stay in California after finishing college.
I’ve seen her over the years, but those times have been rare as she’s been working two jobs since leaving school when her brother died suddenly. I’ve missed her something terrible and can’t wait to be able to see her more often now that I’m moving home.
Everly Hayes: Are you trying to say that my ass looks like Christmas hams? I think I might just be insulted enough to stay in California now.
Alyson: NO! It’s a compliment! Your ass has always been better than mine! Get it on the plane lady! I’ll be forced to drive my shit box of a car from Massachusetts to California if you don’t!
Everly: I thought you said your car was gone?
Alyson: Yeah, the one I had is gone. The one I have now is worse. Probably wouldn’t make it past Rhode Island, but I’d try if it meant I was closer to you guys ;)
Everly: You guys?
Alyson: You and your pigs! Pay attention Ev!
Everly: Smh You do like one thousand squats a day and run a million miles a week. I’m sure your ass is far from that of a chicken Al *rolling my eyes at you*
Alyson: Whatever. Just make sure you roll them at me in person and get on that damn plane!
“Attention passengers on flight 1247 to Boston, we will begin boarding in five minutes.”
And that’s my cue.
Everly: Well, would you look at that . . .
Alyson: HELLO! I’m across the country and can’t see what you’re looking at. Now I’m rolling my eyes at YOU!
Everly: LOL They just called my flight. I’m about to get on the plane and leave this life behind me, I say to her, and for the first time since deciding to leave California and the life I built here, it hits me. I’m leaving this place behind me and all the memories that stay with it.
Alyson: Don’t think about it. I know you and I know you’re sitting in that airport right now second guessing yourself, but this is the right choice! You made it. YOU decided. No one made this choice for you and it’s what’s right or you would never have gone to the extreme of selling your home, leaving your job and a place you’ve loved and called home for years. Leave that fucker there and don’t look back!
Everly: I’m not second guessing my decision.
Alyson: We’ll talk when you get here. Call me when you land no matter what time it is I want a call!
Everly: Okay.
Alyson: GET ON THE PLANE! Grabbing my screwdriver if you don’t!
Everly: Screwdriver?
Alyson: LOL It’s how I start my new car. Don’t ask! LOVE YOU!! XX
Everly: Love you too! See you soon! XX
She starts her car with a screwdriver? I think and shake my head. I’m not in the right mindset to think about Aly and all that seems to have changed with her, but I make a mental note to ask her more when I get back to Boston.
I call the waiter over and pay my tab before picking up my bag and making a quick pit stop. Ten minutes later I’m settling into my seat in first class, ready for the near six-hour flight.
I down a glass of wine during the hour-long tarmac wait, which helps me to relax.
When the plane finally rockets down the runway, I picture Niko in my mind, hoping for good dreams as I feel the lack of sleep take hold. No amount of caffeine can keep me up after being awake for over twenty-four hours.