“I DON’T KNOW WHAT we’re going to do with all this stuff,” I say as I look around at box upon box filled with baby stuff. Two giant baby showers, and a Christmas where my mom went overboard, and we’re fully baby equipped.
“I thought the one your mom threw was huge,” Niko says, and I laugh. His cousin Siobhan wasn’t kidding when she said she wanted to throw us a huge shower for the baby. Nearly every cousin or their wife turned up, plus his aunts and a few uncles who were dragged to the event.
“Turns out your Irish side was just as big and generous.” There are going to be a lot of Thank you cards to write, and my hand is cramping at just the thought.
“As I said, some are trying to make up for their parents’ prejudice.”
“This might be my favorite gift,” I say as I pet the quilt that rests on the back of the rocking chair.
Niko nods.
It was a gift from Cameron. A specially made and designed quilt with a firefighting teddy bear on it. I love that not only did he come up with the idea for such a sweet gift on his own, foregoing pulling from our baby registry, but a gift that he commissioned after his and Niko’s fallout.
“He’s excited to be an uncle,” he says, happy that my brother has finally accepted that Niko and I are together and that we are going to be a family. It took a few weeks, but Cam has slowly warmed back up to Niko. Which is evident in the quilted design. He even had Callahan scripted on it.
In the past few months, Niko has pretty much moved into my place. He spends all his time here. Though I think this week I’ll buy a king-sized mattress and headboard. My queen is a little cramped with all the pillows and Niko. I look around at all of the gifts we got, and I’m amazed at just how much you need to care for a baby.
“I didn’t realize just how much of this stuff you actually have to put together,” I say as I look at the boxes containing the crib, changing table, and stroller.
“I want to grab a quick shower before I head to work, but I promise that I’ll start putting the crib together when I get back.”
“And after you sleep.”
He nods. “We can just do a few things as we go, but the crib should be first,” he says and kisses my forehead before walking over to his duffle bag packed with his clean clothes.
He starts pulling out a few things, looking for one of the shirts he wears to work when I reply, “Yeah. Although, I’m not sure when we’ll put him in it. I kind of want his bassinet in the room with us for a while when he first comes home.”
I look at Niko to see if he’s okay with that. I know he works crazy hours and sometimes double shifts. When he gets home, he sometimes just crashes first before anything else. Having a newborn baby in the room with us at first probably won’t appeal to him, but I want him with us for the first few weeks, maybe even the first few months.
He walks toward me, placing a kiss on my lips this time and smiles.
“I like the idea of him being close to us. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Besides, with you breastfeeding, it would probably be a lot more convenient if he was right next to you in his bassinet.”
“How do you know that it will be more convenient? Have you breastfed a baby before, Nikolas?” I ask and am met with his beautiful grey eyes and that one, cocky, yet sexy-ass raised eyebrow.
“Babe . . .” he says, and then nothing else. I cross my arms when he just stares at me, waiting for him to answer my question, but he doesn’t. He merely shrugs at me before going back to rummaging through his bag.
“You know I hate when you do that, right?”
“When I do what?” he asks.
“When you blow me off with a shrug rather than answer a question. That thing you do.” I pout.
Niko shakes his head and chuckles a little. “Oh, that I do know. You did it to me more than a few times, and I wanted to grab you and put you over my knee. It pissed me off every time you did it. Guess your bad habits rubbed off on me.”
My mouth pops open. “I have never done that to you. You are such a liar!”
“Don’t go there, baby. You will lose,” he says with a smirk before changing the subject. “You going to be okay without me for the night?”
I roll my eyes. “It’s not like you haven’t gone to work and left me alone before. Of course, I’ll be okay.”
“I know that, but it’s been a long day. You look dead on your feet and to be honest. I was worried earlier.”
“Braxton hicks,” I assure him. “Perfectly normal at this time. You heard the doctor say that I could expect them.”
“I did, but . . .”
“You also heard him say that it was perfectly normal. If I get them again, I’ll watch the clock and time them.” I run my hand across my very round stomach. “It’s not time for him to come out yet, Niko. As much as I’d love for him to vacate my big fat vessel, he’s still baking.”
“Hey, there is nothing wrong with how you look, Everly. You are the sexiest pregnant woman I’ve ever seen.”
I roll my eyes at him again. “Yeah, well, when it’s time to give this little guy an eviction notice, you better believe I’m going to be the happiest woman ever. As for you, you’re just saying that because you like screwing me doggie style, seeing as how I’ve gotten so big and that is the most comfortable position for me when we have sex.”
“While I won’t lie and say that I don’t love seeing you on all fours, baby, the truth is I’d fuck you upside down while standing on my head and you’d still be the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen.”
I crack up at the visual he just planted in my head. “I can’t see how that would even work, but okay.”
“Ev, you need to get that shit out of your pretty little head,” he says and walks over to where I’m now sitting on the bed. “I love you.” He kisses my right cheek. “Every.” Then he kisses my left cheek. “Single.” He kisses my nose. “Part.” And then he leans down and kisses my belly. “It wouldn’t matter if you weighed one thousand pounds. You’re not going to get rid of me. Accept it, Ev. You’re stuck with me for the rest of your life.” My heart is fluttering a mile a minute at his words. “Now behave so I can get ready for work. I’m jumping in the shower.”
We haven’t had a conversation about what’s going to happen after the baby gets here. I mean, we’re together. He hasn’t officially moved in, but he’s here every night that he’s not working. I get up and walk over to my dresser and open two drawers. With a handful of clothes, I begin emptying them, making space for his clothes. I don’t want to seem pushy, but he’s been living out of that damn green duffle bag for a couple of weeks now. He takes his dirty clothes home and comes back with clean ones once he’s done with his shift at the firehouse.
Maybe it’s time I let him know that I’m done pushing him away. I want him to stay.
I finish emptying a few more items from the drawers for him and decide that the closet is another place in my house that he can have. Not all of it, of course, but at least a part of it. When I’m done, I hear the water shut off in the bathroom and I wait.
As usual, when he’s naked I lose all rational thought. Niko naked and wet, though? I have no words. I just stare, and I’m pretty sure I drool.
“Stop looking at me like that when I can’t do anything about it,” he says and drops his dirty clothes in his bag.
“You know it would be easier if you just threw your dirty clothes in the laundry basket over there,” I say, pointing to the corner of the room.
“Yeah, but then I’d have to get them later, and they need to get washed,” he says, completely missing what I’m trying to say. Maybe I’m too subtle. “Besides, I need to grab new clothes when I go home, so I’m not always being ogled by you while I’m naked.”
“Yeah, right. You like being naked just as much as I like seeing you naked, so stop telling me things that aren’t true.”
Niko waggles his eyebrows up and down. I laugh at him and shake my head while watching him pull on his boxer briefs.
“I was thinking . . .”
Niko’s head snaps toward me, and he blows out a breath. “Oh shit. That’s never a good way to start a sentence with you. Do I need to sit down?”
I scrunch my brow and scowl at him. “Stop it. I’m serious.”
He holds his hands up. “Okay.”
“I was thinking that instead of going back and forth so much, and since you’re here most of the time, you might as well bring more clothes here,” I say, and Niko stops dressing to look at me, giving me his full attention. “It’s not a big deal or anything.”
I look toward the empty drawers I cleared out and left open for him. He follows my gaze and walks over to the dresser.
“You are giving me my own drawers, babe?” he asks. His voice is sounding a little huskier than it usually does.
I shrug when he looks back at me, my eyes darting to the ground. Why is it always so hard to accept that he wants to be in my life? That we’re together? He loves me, I know that, but sometimes I still feel like I’m twelve years old, blushing every time he looks at me.
“I cleared some closet space too. You don’t have to use it. I just thought I’d offer the space. It’s a good place to hang your work clothes.”
His eyes are smoldering when he looks back at me. “Fuck it.” He storms over to me and leans down, smashing his lips to mine.
I let out a squeak, my eyes wide, while his hands slip into my waistband and pull my pants down. Without a word, he spins me around and pushes down on my back, leaning me over the edge of the bed.
“What?” Is all I manage to get out before I feel the thick head of his cock press into me, stretching me.
“You’re gonna make me late,” he says as he slams into me, sending a flash of sparks to radiate through me. Each time he bottoms out, that shock sends tingles shooting through my body. “Always have to go and make me hard before work, so this’ll be a quickie.”
“But I didn’t do anything,” I manage to get out between moans he forces from me.
His fingers dig into my hips. “You practically fucking asked me to move in with that shy, innocent look after staring at me like you wanted to swallow my cock whole and looking sexy as fuck with my kid inside your belly.” He leans over, his breath hot against my ear. “If you haven’t figured out that you just standing there turns me on, apparently I need to be fucking you more to remind you.”
My fingers fist the comforter, unable to focus my eyes, just enjoying the pleasure.
“Fuck, yes,” I cry.
His hips pick up, slamming into me faster and faster, making my eyes roll back.
“You better come quick, baby.”
“Just a little more,” I beg, focusing on nothing but him until my eyes roll back
“Fuck, fuck, fuuuck!” he yells, thrusting against me one last time, his cock jumping. His groans send me over the edge and pleasure snaps through me, my body spasms.
Strength leaves us both, and Niko falls down on the bed to the side, taking me with him.
“Ask me,” he says between pants.
It takes me a minute to use my brain. “Do you want to move in with me?”
“Yes,” he says with a kiss onto the top of my head.
I shudder as he pulls out and turn to look back at him.
“Well, I was clean.”
A giggle slips from me. “Dirty boy.”
His lips twitch up into a smirk. “For you? Always.”
He heads back into the bathroom to clean up while I lay on my side. A smile plays on my lips as sleepiness starts to take me.
A swift kick to the ribs has that idea gone and me rolling onto my back and holding my side as I let out a hiss through clenched teeth.
I feel the bed dip beside me. “You okay?”
I give him a nod. “Just your son practicing his soccer skills. Help me up?”
After cleaning up, I put on some clothes, watching as Niko pulls his Newton Fire Department T-shirt over his head.
“Give me a call for anything,” Niko says as he leans down and presses his lips to mine.
“Anything?”
A groan slips from him. “When I get back . . .” he trails off.
“When you get back, what?”
His lip pulls up into that smirk, and he winks at me. “See you in the morning, baby. Sleep tight.”
“Goodnight.”
“I’ll set the alarm on my way out.”
I nod, but then my head snaps toward him. “No, wait.” He stops and looks back at me. “I’m going to go grab that bag of baby clothes from the trunk of the car first. I want to get them in the wash tonight, so I’ll set the alarm when I come back in.”
“Everly, I don’t want you lifting shit when I’m not here. It can wait until tomorrow when I’m back. I want you to stay off your feet, baby. You’ve had a long day, and you should rest up. You already overdid it today.”
“Niko, it’s one bag that probably weighs less than five pounds, if that. I’m pregnant, not disabled,” I say, and he eyes me skeptically. “I promise that I’m only grabbing the bag of clothes. The rest are in here already. The heavy boxes are all yours. Now get going before you are later than you already are for work.”
He lets out a huff of air before walking back to me and crushing his lips to mine. Kisses like that from Niko always seem to cause my brain to misfire, and I’m breathless by the time he pulls away.
“Okay, but fucking hell, woman, you are stubborn. Thank fuck we’re having a boy because I don’t think I’d be able to handle two Everly’s under one roof.” I laugh at him as he walks away, shaking his head. “I’ll lock the door for now. Get some rest, baby,” he calls over his shoulder.
“Will do, Daddy!” I say, and I hear his faint groan before the front door closes and he’s gone.
Minutes after he leaves, I turn on the TV and crawl under the covers. It doesn’t take long before the day takes its toll and my eyes get heavy. Baby clothes are forgotten, I fall asleep and dream of my life going forward with Niko and the baby we have coming.
There’s a dip in the bed that stirs me, then the sound of the TV rushes in only to be silenced. I hadn’t realized I’d fallen asleep.
“Niko?” I ask, my eyes opening only to cringe against the light emanating from my bedside table.
My stomach drops as I look at my bed, at the man sitting on the end. It’s not the black-haired, grey-eyed man of my dreams. Instead, it’s the brown-haired, green-eyed demon of my nightmares.
As I stare at him, I wonder if I am in a walking nightmare. If in seconds I’ll wake up, startled, but safe with Niko beside me.
“Why are you here?” I ask.
“You are mine, Everly,” he says as if that is explanation enough.
My muscles are tense as I stare at him, trying to muster as much strength as I can. “Tate, you need to leave.”
“Then you went and whored yourself out,” he says, ignoring me. “Letting some inferior punk come in you and knock you up. That should be my child you’re carrying.”
A chill moves through me as I pull away from him and into more of a sitting position. “Niko is going to be back any minute. Please, just go before things get ugly,” I say, hoping that he’ll leave rather than risk another confrontation with Niko.
“Since when did you turn into such a fucking liar, Everly?” he spits at me. “I know he’s not coming back. I watched him leave, and from the looks of the clothes he was wearing, I’d say he’s not going to be returning anytime soon.”
His hand starts to pull the sheet that is covering me. I grab it to stop him, but he pulls it harder, exposing my legs.
“What are you going to do, Tate, force me to be with you?”
He scoffs at my question. “Of course not. I’ve never had to force any woman to be with me.”
“Then what are you doing?” I ask.
“Looking. There is nothing wrong with looking. Pregnancy suits you, baby. You have that glow people always say women get when they are carrying a child.”
I don’t know what to do right now. He’s gone from one person to another in a matter of seconds, making me even more uneasy than I was when I awoke to him sitting on my bed. I glance over and eye my work cell phone that I plugged in before I went to bed.
It’s then that I remember my personal cell is still under my pillow. I placed it there in case Niko called me from work in the middle of the night. Tate sees me looking at the one plugged in, and it’s then that he gets up and grabs my phone. He unplugs it, turning the power off and placing it in his pocket away from my reach.
“Wouldn’t want you calling anyone before I’ve had a chance to talk to you, Everly,” he says, his tone sending a shiver down my spine. “I mean, I came all this way just for you. The least you can do is hear what I have to say before you go calling your mental boyfriend.”
“Niko is mental? You’ve broken into my house, again, and you’re calling him mental?”
“Get dressed, baby,” Tate says. “Let’s go for a ride. There’s something I want to show you.” He walks to the door and opens it. “I’ll give you some space, but I’m waiting right here.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you, Tate,” I say, surprised that my voice doesn’t waver because everything inside me is. “It’s midnight, for crying out loud. If you want to talk, then come back tomorrow at a normal hour, and I’ll talk to you.” I pull the pillow in front of me, feigning modesty, bringing the other cell phone with it.
After figuring out by touch which is the bottom, I hit the home button and wake it up. The phone icon is in the bottom left corner if I remember correctly, and I pray that I hit the right app. In my periphery, I spot the color green and move my thumb to the center. Niko was the last person I spoke to so he should be the person that my phone redials when I hit the call button.
“You can either get up and get some clothes on, or you can come with me dressed as you are,” he says with a snarl before changing it to a smile. “Your choice, darling.”
“Close the door then, so that I can get dressed.”
“Why? It’s not like I haven’t seen it all before. Stop stalling and move that sweet little ass.”
“Tate, please. Please, just go,” I say once more, hoping that he’ll do it, even though the truth is I know he’s not leaving.
He wants me to go with him, but I know that no matter what, I need to do everything in my power to stay here in my house until someone shows up. He looks disheveled. His hair is sticking out from his hands continually running through it. During the time we were together, Tate only did that when he was nervous about something. I don’t know what he has planned, but I’m not going with him. I want him to leave, but knowing that isn’t going to happen without my going with him, I figure the next best thing would be to try and get him to talk to me here until Niko or someone can get here.
“No, Everly. I’ve been trying to talk to you for months. To explain everything, but you ignored me. You just cut me out of your life like I was never even there. You packed your things and just left without a word. I begged for you to listen, said the words please and sorry until it didn’t make sense, but you wouldn’t listen!” he yells as he slams his hand against the door frame making me jump. “You wouldn’t talk to me, but you’re going to listen now.”
“I’ll talk to you now, Tate,” I say, trying to calm the shaking, hoping that Niko answered the phone. “Let me get dressed, and we can go downstairs and talk. I’ll make you some coffee or whatever and we can talk.”
Tate’s head tilts to the side. “Now you want to listen?”
“Yes.” I nod. “You’re right. I didn’t give you an opportunity to explain. I was hurt, and I didn’t want to hear what you had to say. I owe it to you to at least hear you out. To explain,” I say and hope to hell I sound genuine because I sure as hell can’t stop my hands from shaking. They give me away, show him that I’m scared out of my mind, but I’m willing to say anything to get him to back off. He stares at me for a minute, saying nothing, and I have no idea what the hell is going through his mind.
“Tate?” He turns his back to me but doesn’t move.
“Get dressed, Everly. I’ll give you some privacy, but I’m not going to lose the one shot I have to make you see that we’re good for each other. You don’t throw away something like we have due to a misunderstanding,” he says, and I want to yell and rage at him about his choice of words, but I don’t.
I have to think about the baby I’m carrying and the fact that if I fight him right now, I could hurt my son. My yoga pants are still on the floor from where I took them off earlier, and I throw them on as fast as possible with my belly being in the way. I fell asleep in nothing but my panties and one of Niko’s tees, so that will have to do for right now. I don’t want Tate to change his mind about talking downstairs, so I slip my house slippers on and walk to the door, tucking the cell phone into the waist of my pants so that he doesn’t see.
I walk past Tate and pray that he’s calm enough now to be reasonable. “Come on, I’ll make you something to eat too if you’d like. I could use a late night snack myself,” I say to him, but I don’t look back to see if he’s coming. It’s not until I get to the top of the stairs that I feel his hand pull me to a stop. I turn and look at him, and I see a hint of sadness in his eyes that wasn’t there before.
“It should have been me.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, genuinely puzzled at his rapid change of thoughts. He reaches out with his other hand and places it on my belly. I freeze not knowing what he’s going to do, and the fear for my child is something I’ve never in my life felt before.
“This baby should have been mine and yours, Everly. That doesn’t matter to me, though. I’ll take care of it as if it were my own, and we can have another after. You’ll see. Everything is going to work out. We have a long drive, darling, so let’s go grab you a jacket, okay?” he says, and I know that sticking around here isn’t going to happen.
“Tate, I’m not going with you. I want to talk to you, but here.”
He shakes his head and tightens his grip. “I can’t show you what I want to show you here. Let’s just get a coat for you and some shoes and then we can go—”
“No!” I yell and pull at my arm, ready to run away, needing to get away, but at the twist, I feel my heel slip off the edge of the top step. The momentum throws my weight toward the stairs, my center of mass shifted due to the baby, and I reach out to grab onto something as I feel myself start to fall.
“Everly!” Tate’s hands and body come forward and try to grab my arm again, but it’s too late.
A scream leaves me as I wrap an arm around my stomach to protect the baby and tumble down the stairs. I finally come to a stop, and the last person I think of before everything goes black is Niko.