I WAIT A MINUTE or two knowing Niko is home after seeing his bike parked out back. I knock again, louder this time. I know it’s stupid, but after our talk the other day, I keep having these thoughts of Niko with other women, and as much as I try not to, I get upset. I heard what he said. I believe that he believed what he said, but I just can’t get past my issues. It’s too hard, especially after everything with Tate.
He said I was selfish. Maybe I am, but only about certain things. The thought of Niko being with someone else causes actual pain in my chest. I keep ignoring it. Pushing him away only to pull him back when it gets to be too much alone. As much as I’d like to believe what he said, I’m just not ready. I’m still trying to come to terms with the fact that I’m going to have a baby. He just needs to let me deal with one thing at a time.
I need him to know that I’m not saying no, but maybe, and only maybe after I’ve adjusted to what will be my new life as a mother. He should understand that. I mean, he should be freaked out too and trying to adjust to the fact that he’s going to be a father. I think about that for a moment, and the last time we saw one another at my place. He was mad, sure, but he didn’t seem that freaked over my being pregnant. Unless . . .
Maybe he decided after all that my issues aren’t worth the aggravation. Perhaps my days of silence has him thinking that he made a mistake by telling me he wanted more. Maybe he changed his mind, and he’s already moved on to someone else?
Oh, God! What if he’s in there now, sharing that body of his with some other woman? Shit, I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t have come without calling, but there is no way in hell I’m leaving now. God, I can’t take these hormones! I feel like I’m three different people sometimes. These pregnancy mood swings I keep having are ruling everything in my life right now, and I hate it. If I’m not throwing up, then the people around me, specifically Alyson, are asking me if I need a priest to perform an exorcism.
Screw it. He’s just going to have to prove me right.
I raise my hand and bang again. Harder this time, determination now strengthening my pounding, but as I let my fist fly again toward his door, Niko opens it. And oh God, I’m struck stupid by his near nakedness.
“Oh, God. Holy Christmas. Fucking hell just froze over and took me.” I think I just said that out loud because Niko is giving me a look that says he thinks I’m out of my mind, but holy shit!
Niko is standing in front of me, soap in his hair, towel barely wrapped around his slim waist, showing off that gorgeous, lickable V he has below the towel and the happy trail that my mouth just literally salivated to, remembering all the memories of its taste.
I watch and follow with my eyes as beads of water slowly roll down his rock-hard-abs, and I’m pretty sure I just licked my lips with a smacking sound that could be heard out on the street.
Niko clears his throat, drawing my eyes back up to his face and that cocksure smirk he always wears. God, he’s beautiful. I’m speechless . . . I. Am. So. Screwed!
“Everly,” Niko says, but it’s the stern, business-like way that he says it that gets my back up. Like he’s my boss and I’m late for the first day on the job. Whatever. He’s the one opening the door with no clothes on.
“Jesus Christ, Niko! Go put some clothes on for crying out loud!” I’m a flustered mess, caught between wanting to sink to my knees in front of him or slam my lips against his. The temptation needs to go.
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Well, no! You’re freaking naked! Do you usually answer your door soaking wet and naked? What if some of your bits and pieces were hanging out? Jesus.”
I try to pull myself together, but Niko without clothes is a sin. Niko without clothes and wet . . . I swallow hard and look away.
One side of his lips draw up into a smirk. He’s having way too much fun at my expense.
“Some of my bits and pieces? Did you just call my cock and balls bits and pieces, Everly?”
“No!”
“Could have sworn I just heard you say just that.”
“Well, you heard wrong.” I stare him in his eyes because there is no other safe place for me to look right now that doesn’t involve looking at his naked, wet skin.
“For your information, I only answered my door, naked, but with all of my bits and pieces covered, because some nut job was pounding on my door, and I thought someone was dying.”
“Did you just call me a nut job?”
“Yup. I sure did, but you don’t seem to be bleeding or anything, so I’m going to ask you—are you dying, Ev?” His voice is calm and even, a hint of amusement in his tone.
My eyes dart around, trying to look anywhere but at him. “No, I’m not dying! Don’t be ridiculous. And I’m not a nut job! I’m not the one streaking my poor unsuspecting neighbors at my front door, Niko.”
“You just stomped on my front door like a swat team about to bust it down looking for drugs or some most-wanted convict, Ev.”
“I did no such thing! I knocked.” He quirks one of his brows up at me, and holy hell is he sexy.
“You knocked, huh?”
“Yes. I knocked. Loudly.” He smirks at me and then pulls the door all the way open, waiting.
“Well, then, are you going to stand there all day, or do you want me to traumatize my neighbors with my bits and pieces, formerly known as the beast?”
I snort at the mention of the beast. Not too long ago we were having fun flirting back and forth via text messages and phone sex. Look what that did. That fucking monster knocked me up, and I’m mad at it, so for now, it’s bits and pieces to me.
“Make yourself comfortable. I need to rinse the soap out of my hair.”
“You’re not going to put some clothes on first?”
“Ummm, not before I rinse the soap out of my hair, Ev. I usually do that before I get out of the shower, but well . . . You know why I had to cut my shower short, now, don’t you. What’s wrong with you? It’s not like you haven’t seen everything before. Or, you know, worshipped it.”
I swallow hard, trying to ignore his comment, and walk in when Niko moves to the side, opening his door wider to let me in. I hear the door close, and then Niko walks past me toward the bathroom where I can hear the shower still running. It’s then I get to finally see the tattoo that moves across the back of his shoulders. A large, flying black bird, maybe a crow, is drawn onto his skin, but I can’t make it out in the quick glance.
“Well, obviously I’ve seen all . . .” I wave my hand up and down his body without going near him. “. . . that, but that doesn’t mean that I want to talk to you and view all of your anatomical refinements.”
“Anatomical refinements?”
“Yes! Anatomical refinements! I came here to talk, Niko. To you, not Mr. Happy there.”
“Mr. Happy?”
“Yes! What the hell are you now, a parrot? Jesus! Just finish your shower please, and then put some clothes on. I’ll just wait here.”
“Ah, yeah, okay then.” He eyes me strangely, but then it appears he’s holding back a smile. Whatever. I’m here to talk about my future. Our future, and I can’t do that with skin showing. “As I said, make yourself comfortable. I’ll be out in a sec.” He pulls the towel from his waist as he gets to the door; his cock is half-mast and jumps, causing me to gasp. Just as he turns to close the half-opened door, he winks at me and instead pushes it all the way open so that I can see him through the transparent shower curtain.
“Holy Christ!”
I’m in hormonal overload; my eyes are stuck on the blurred profile of the beast that pumped a baby in me. I swear that it’s getting bigger and that the room has turned into an oven.
My tongue swipes across my lips, gaze locked on him. I haven’t even sat down, still standing in the same spot, trapped.
I thought I’d known lust in my life, but the feelings I remember are a smoldering ember compared to the inferno created by Niko. He hasn’t even touched me, and I’m burning.
And he wants me.
And I want him.
I don’t even notice I’ve stripped out of my T-shirt until I’m unbuttoning my shorts, letting them slide to the ground, flip-flops off with each step toward the man I so desperately need right now. My bra and panties are the final casualties to this lust that’s driving my actions.
My brain has stopped and lets my body take over, seeking the only one that can fill every part of my mind, body, and soul.
I pull the curtain to the side, making Niko snap his head toward me. His eyes darken as they trail down my naked body.
“I’m sorry,” I say as I step into the shower with him. The water is hot against my skin, and I arch toward him.
“Is this your way of apology?” he asks, his eyes wandering down and back up.
“This is me admitting how much I want you.”
He steps forward, hands on my hips as he draws me in, his cock hard and trapped between us. “About fucking time.”
His fingers tangle in my hair, fisting it to pull me closer as he presses his lips to mine. There’s no asking for permission, his tongue slipping into my mouth. Just his kiss, his tongue against mine, makes me wet.
One of his hands slides between us, then trails down until he’s slipping between my legs, his fingers running across my clit. I draw in a sharp breath, my eyes wide as I arch into him.
“I want to take you into the bedroom, throw you on the bed, and hate fuck the shit out of this pussy.” His voice is all gravel and sex, his touch possessive and hard.
I blink at him, confused and aroused by what he just said. He moves his hand down further and finds my slick slit. A sharp breath leaves me as he pushes two fingers into me, eyes locked on mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, holding on. He knows what he’s doing, where to touch, how to have me struggle for breath in seconds.
“Is this what you want, Everly? Do you want me to make you come? Is that all I’m fucking good for?”
“N-no,” I whimper.
“Then what are you apologizing for.”
“For being a bitch. For being scared. For thinking you wouldn’t want this baby.” Tears fill my eyes and his movements slow, his eyes softening.
The hand in my hair lets go and moves across to my face, his thumb wiping away the fallen tears. I’m crying, something I blame on the hormones, and he still has me on the verge of coming.
“Shh, baby. Don’t cry. Why would you think that?”
“Because you’re not a one-woman kind of man.”
He pulls his fingers from me, making me shudder as they graze my clit.
“Even if we aren’t together, I would always want to be with my child. And even if I didn’t want to be with you, which I do, why would that make you think I wouldn’t want to be a father?”
I can’t stop the tears, the hiccupping sobs as I hide my eyes behind my hands. This crying can go away. I hate it, and it’s all I seem to be doing lately. That and vomiting, which can also stop.
“Because why would you want to deal with me for the rest of their life?”
It’s not until this moment that I realize the insecurity that I’ve been harboring. Inside, I’m still very much the nerdy girl geeking out over her brother’s hot best friend.
He doesn’t say anything, just stares. It’s unnerving, and I’m about to jump out of the shower and get the fuck out of here and away from this situation I’ve put myself in when he presses his lips to mine and pushes me up against the shower wall.
I cry out from the cold of the tile hitting my warm skin, but he doesn’t give me time to adjust as his hands grab onto me and pick me up. My legs wrap around his hips, and I can feel his hard cock between us, its length sliding against my slit.
“You like to pick me up,” I say against his mouth.
A chuckle leaves him. “Because you’re almost a foot shorter than me. I need those lips closer.”
“I think you just like throwing me around.”
“Mmm, pocket-sized for my pleasure.”
“I’m not that short.”
“You are to me.”
He continues to slide against me but doesn’t enter. “Niko, please . . .”
“What?” He’s grinning at me, knowing full well what I want.
“Fill me. Please.”
A growl rumbles in his chest. “First, you need to do something for me.”
“What?”
“You need to get all negative thoughts out of that head of yours. Or do I need to fuck them out for you to listen to what I’ve been saying for months.”
I stare at him, frozen in excitement, in knowing I want him to make good on his threat.
“Fuck them out it is.”
With one thrust, he’s inside me, and my head is back against the wall, mouth open.
Fuck.
I can’t breathe. Only feel. His thick cock giving me the delicious stretch, filling me completely.
How did I ever think I could turn this down?
“Fuck, baby, I never knew it could feel this good,” he says, his teeth scraping along the column of my neck.
“What?”
“Being bare, fucking without a condom,” he says the words between thrusts, but I can’t help the way they make me squeeze around him, causing an “Oh, fuck” to leave him. They weren’t meant to be sexy, but somehow, they were.
“I’m sure you’ve done it before.” With all the women he’s fucked, I can’t be the only one.
He shakes his head. “No, this is my first time.”
“Second,” I remind him.
He lets out a groan and smashes his lips against mine.
“This is how we should have made a baby,” he says, his hips drilling his cock into me harder.
“Against a shower wall?”
“Sober.”
And I understand. This feeling, this all-consuming desire that is all for him, is so powerful. The raw connection of baser instincts.
“I’ll make sure you fucking remember how it feels from now on.”
He pulls me closer, his head buried in my neck as he presses me harder into the wall. Each thrust seems to go deeper, hit harder. My eyes lose focus as I let go and just feel.
That’s all he will let me do. His hands dig into my ass cheeks, his thumbs around my hips as he moves me up and down his shaft in time with his thrust. Pounding, relentless. Over and over until my breath begins to stutter, eyes rolling back as everything tightens, then abruptly snaps.
The screams leaving me are echoing around the small bathroom. As I come down, aftershocks rock me, and guttural moans fill my ears.
I feel each twitch of his cock deep inside me. It’s different than before, unrestrained. His chest heaves with each harsh breath that blows across my skin. The air makes the droplets that have cooled move around my skin, causing goose bumps to pop up.
Niko blindly reaches to the side to turn the water off, sliding me across cool patches of tile and making me hiss. The water isn’t matched in temperature to the tile, but it’s getting there, the heat waning.
Once the water is off, Niko locks eyes with me. He hasn’t pulled out.
“That’s how I’m going to remember it.”
I blink up at him. I’m still coming down, my brain scrambling to catch up. “Remember what?”
He cups my cheek, his thumb running across my lower lip. “How we made our baby.”
Once again, the red glare of Niko’s bedside clock is the first thing I see when I open my eyes. Shit. It’s almost ten thirty at night. I’ve been with Niko for hours and completely lost track of time. The need to flee kicks in and I turn to look at Niko, who’s sleeping soundly next to me.
We never did get to talk.
His hair is all over the place, and I have to hold myself back from caressing his face as he sleeps. I don’t want to leave, but I don’t know if I should stay either. Slowly, I try to make my way out of bed in search of my clothes in the living room.
Where the hell is my bra?
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Niko growls into my ear, making me freeze. His fingers wrap around my waist, pulling me back against his warm chest. “You thinking of running out on me again, Ev? Leaving another fucking Post-it note?”
Was he ever going to let that go? Then again, he didn’t really know how dependent I was on the yellow sticky notepads.
“Running? No, not running. It’s called leaving. Going home. You know, your usual?”
A growl rumbles through him. I’ve done it again, thrown his past in his face. It will be a hard habit to break. Why do I keep doing that?
“Nothing has been usual since I met you.”
My heart thumps in my chest. Nothing? That makes me happier than it should. I step away and he lets me go, so I lean over to pick up my panties.
“Three months.”
“Three months, what?” I ask, securing one flip-flop.
“You’re the only woman I’ve been with in three months, Ev. You’re the only one I can get it up for. The only woman I want to get it up for. The only one I even think about.”
I stop my search and turn to look at him; his expression is solid. He couldn’t be serious, could he? Only me in three months? I know his track record.
“I don’t bring women back to my place,” he continues, stepping to stand in front of me.
I shake my head. “You brought me home with you.”
He pulls me to him, his lips running up the column of my neck, sending tingles across my skin.
“I don’t sleep with chicks I fuck.”
“You fell asleep with me.”
His breath is hot, and his fingers slip around my torso and between my legs.
“I don’t stay for breakfast.”
I draw in a breath, my back arching as the few articles of clothing I collected fall back to the ground. His fingers dip inside me, rubbing against my clit with each slow, agonizing stroke.
“I don’t call, and I don’t text women.”
“You called and sent me—” He doesn’t let me finish, placing his finger to my lips.
“But for you,” he says as he pulls me flush to him and grinds his cock against me. “I’ve broken every one of my rules. You know why?”
My hips move in time with him, a blaze heating me from my core.
“Got an answer for me, Everly?”
“N-no.”
“Because you’re not just some chick.”
“I’m pregnant with your baby.”
The thick ridge of his cock rocks against me as his hand grabs my ass, pulling me ever closer.
“Fuck, it’s so hot when you say it in that fuck-hot sexy voice.”
A whimper claws its way up my throat, escaping in a stuttered, high-pitched, body-shaking consumption. He’s assaulting me on multiple fronts, chipping away at the emotional walls I’ve built to protect myself.
A few more hard strokes of his fingers, then they’re gone. He trails his hand up to rest on my abdomen, gaze locked on the spot.
“It’s more than my baby growing inside you. Although, I have to tell you, Ev, that makes me feel good as fuck.” His eyes find mine. “Like I’ve marked you, and now you’re all mine, but aside from that . . . It’s you that’s special. From the moment I first saw you, it was just you.”
“Just me?” I ask softly and in disbelief.
“Stay. Don’t leave. I want you to stay the night with me. Next to me. All night. I want to know you’ll be here when I wake up in the morning, Ev. Don’t run,” he says and then stares at me. Waiting. The uncertain look on his face does me in, and it’s then that I decide to let him in.
“Okay,” I say as I take his hand, and we walk back into the bedroom.
We climb back into bed, and I lay my head onto his chest. Whatever thoughts I had of leaving and going home are now gone, a feeling of contentment overcoming me.
“I’ll stay,” I whisper to him.
His arm comes around me, and he squeezes me. My mind keeps repeating everything he just said, and all I can think about is just me and the fact that I’m going to have breakfast with Niko tomorrow.
“I like my bacon crispy.”
“Your what?” he asks.
I look up at him. “Breakfast, tomorrow. I want crispy bacon.”
He lets out a low chuckle, and I can’t help it—I smile too. I’m having breakfast with my cocksure “baby daddy.” The boy I crushed on since I was a kid is now very much a man, and I’m sleeping in his bed telling him how I like my bacon. Who would have thought?
“Okay.”