TWENTY MINUTES LATER, AND we are finally checking in at her OB GYN’s office. There are about eight pregnant women in all different stages of their pregnancies also waiting, and one woman with a newborn in one of those car seats with the handle. We take a seat next to the woman, and I see Everly looking down to the floor where the infant is sleeping with a pink blanket covering her. I hear another woman ask if it’s a girl or a boy, and I want to roll my eyes. Unless she’s blind, how the hell would you not know it’s a girl with the bright pink blanket on her?
“She’s very beautiful,” Everly says to the new mother. “How old is she?”
“She’s eight days old.” She smiles back at Ev who is staring at the baby in complete fascination.
“Oh wow! You look fantastic for having just had a baby eight days ago!” The woman smiles at Everly and then looks down at her growing belly.
“Your first?” she asks. Everly places her hands on her belly and smiles back, her lousy mood from earlier gone.
“Yes. We’re due in March.” I grab her hand, and she looks over at me with something in her eyes I’ve never seen before. The woman’s name is called, and she stands to collect her things and her new baby.
“Good luck!” she says to us and heads toward the nurse waiting for her.
“Hey,” I say to her. “You all right?”
“What if we fuck this up?” she asks as she stares down at her lap.
“Fuck what up?”
“Being parents.” She looks back up at me, her brow knitted. “I know there is a human being growing inside of me right now. I feel the baby, but seeing that little girl just now. That eight-day-old little person is sleeping helplessly in her little car seat . . .” She doesn’t finish right away, but I see her lip tremble, and I have no idea what just made her start doubting herself.
“Baby, look at me.” She looks over to me, and I know what it was now in her eyes before. Fear.
“This is such a fucked-up world. What if something happens? What if the baby gets sick? What if I don’t know how to take care of it when it gets sick?”
“Everly, stop.”
“We don’t know, Niko. I know I sound crazy, but seeing that baby just made this feel more . . .”
“Real?” I ask.
“Yeah. I guess. I don’t know. I’m sure it’s just my hormones again, but I’ve been going full speed ahead with the house and the new job, my parents, Cam, and then you that I haven’t let everything that’s coming in the future sink in, you know?”
I nod my head yes because I do know.
“We’re going to be okay, babe. We can only try our best as our parents did, and if we fuck up, well we just do. Live and learn, and that’s what we teach this baby that’s coming. Women have been doing this forever, and I’m positive that you’re not the first mother-to-be to have the same doubts and fears. It’s normal.”
“Aren’t you scared?”
I laugh at her question. “Fucking petrified, but I have something that grounds me when those fears kick in.”
“What’s that?”
“You.”
“Everly Hayes?” a woman calls from the entryway to the back rooms. I stand up and grab Ev’s hand to help her up from her seat. We walk over to where the woman is waiting, and she smiles at us both before telling us to follow her to the ultrasound room.
This is it. The day we find out if we are having a girl or a boy, and I’m nervous. We just want the baby to be healthy, but I won’t lie and say that I’m even more terrified of finding out we have a girl on the way.
I don’t think I could handle a little girl. I wouldn’t know what to do with a girl. A boy, yes, but little girls aren’t my specialties. Not only that, but I know how guys are. Guys like I was as a teen and then as a man up until I met Everly. I’d go to jail over some pimple-faced little fucker trying to date my daughter.
No, God wouldn’t do that to me. I told Ev it didn’t matter, but it does. I need a boy.
“If you could just unbutton your pants and place this on the lower half of your belly, the technician will be in shortly. There is a chair for you over there, Dad, so you can watch the monitor while we do the ultrasound,” the woman says and then closes the door behind her.
I walk over and drag the chair over to sit next to Ev who’s now lying back with her belly exposed.
“I’m nervous,” I say to her.
“Me too, but I’m also excited, if that makes sense?”
“Yeah,” I say quietly to her, squeezing her hand. If this is how we feel during just an ultrasound, I can’t imagine what will happen when she’s ready to give birth.
“Niko?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m glad that I have you, too.”
We sit and wait for a few minutes before the ultrasound technician makes her way into the room we are in. “Good afternoon. Everly Hayes?”
“Yup! That’s me,” Ev says, not sounding like herself.
“My name is Lisa, and I’m going to do your ultrasound. I understand that you would like to know the sex of the baby as well today?” she asks, looking at the both of us.
“Yes. We both want to know,” Ev says and smiles.
I nod, and the woman starts to type a few things on the machine’s keyboard.
“Well then, let’s hope this little peanut feels like cooperating with us today, and I will see what we can do to help you guys pick out the right colors for your baby.”
“You can’t always find out the sex of the baby by ultrasound?” I ask, confused. I thought this was an absolute when the doctor told us she was scheduling her ultrasound.
“Well, not always. You’re right at twenty-one weeks, and it’s easier to get a good picture a little later in the pregnancy.”
“But you’ll still be able to see? How accurate will it be?”
“Sometimes the baby will turn away or cross its legs in a way that makes it difficult to see, but I’m pretty good usually, so let’s see what I can do for you two. Any allergies to latex?” she asks Ev, and I’m half tempted to answer for her knowing from experience, but I don’t want Ev mad at me during this.
“No,” Ev replies.
“Okay, good. Let’s get started, then. I’m just going to put some of the gel on your tummy. It might be a little cold. Sorry about that,” she says to Ev, but she’s not really talking to anyone. Sounds more like words she says one hundred times a day, which I’m sure, being an ultrasound tech, she does. She moves some kind of device onto the jelly shit she just squirted on Ev’s belly.
“Do you mind if I ask questions?” I ask her, because I want to know what she’s doing exactly and what it is that I’m looking at. I’m clueless. I see nothing but black and white shit on the screen.
“Not at all. Most of my first-time parents do.”
“What am I looking at exactly, and how does this allow us to see the baby?” I ask, noticing the way Ev’s head bobs. It seems she wants to know as well.
“Well, this thing right here is called a transducer.” She motions down to her hand. “It uses inaudible sound waves to produce a two-dimensional image of the baby while inside the mother’s uterus. The sound waves bounce off solid structures in the body and are transformed into an image onto the screen here,” she says, pointing to the images. “Solid parts, such as bones and muscles, reflect sound waves and appear as light gray or white like here.” Again, she points at the screen. Now that she is explaining it, I can see exactly what I’m looking at. I think. “Soft or hollow areas, like the chambers of the heart, don’t reflect sound waves and appear dark or black. You see that there?” she says, pointing to the black spot that appears to be blinking rapidly. “That’s the baby’s heart. Looks good.” She smiles at Ev and me before looking back to the screen and typing on the keyboard in front of her.
I stare at the screen in awe of what Ev and I have created. The other part of me is now even more afraid of the type of father I’ll be to this baby. Ev isn’t the only one doubting themselves, but I didn’t want her to freak out even more. If anyone will be excellent at parenting, it’s her. I look down at Ev and squeeze her hand. She doesn’t look at me, though. She’s enraptured, her eyes unblinking at the image of our baby on the screen. I notice a few tears roll from her eyes, and she swipes quickly at them.
“Hey,” I say, and she finally turns to look at me. “You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Then why are you crying, babe?”
She shakes her head at me, swiping again at her face as the tears roll freely now down her face. “These are happy tears, you goof. I just can’t believe we made a little human.”
I lean down and place a kiss on her forehead. I can’t help but share her happiness because I was just thinking the same thing.
“We did. Now the question is—are we having a little boy or a little girl Callahan?” I look toward the screen and the tech, who is still taking measurements of everything she sees.
“Well, the baby isn’t in the best position, but I think I got a look a few seconds ago. Let’s see if we can get a better look,” she says as Ev and I wait.
Geeze, this is nerve wracking. I watch along with her, and I swear I see something between the baby’s legs that looks male. God, please let it be a boy. I mean, healthy is good, but I don’t think I can handle girls.
Holy shit! What if it is two?
I clear my throat, and Ev and the tech look over. “Umm, this thing can tell that there is more than one baby in there too, right?”
Ev’s face turns a few shades of white, and I’m glad it’s not just me that would probably fall to the floor if we got that news. The tech laughs and turns back to what she was doing.
“It does, and I think I only see one baby in there.” I let out the breath I was holding and hear Everly do the same.
“Think?”
“Well, it’s not guaranteed, but I’m pretty sure I see only one baby. It has happened before where one was hiding out of sight, but that’s pretty rare. Same goes for finding out the sex. As I told you, we can be wrong, but I’m usually pretty good. Like now. See that?” she asks and points to what I thought I saw earlier. “I’m trying to get the baby to move a little more, but I’m almost positive that is a penis.”
“Sure looks like it to me,” I say with my chest puffed out. “I mean, I don’t know how many you see a day, but it looks pretty big for a baby not even born yet. Definitely hereditary. Ow!” I say when Ev hits me very close to my cock. “You want to watch where you hit, babe, or this might be the last baby we have with my good co . . . What the hell, Everly,” I say when she slugs me again.
“Niko. Pretty sure that you don’t need to let the poor woman here know that the baby has a matching penis to his dad’s. Shut up!” I rub the spot where she hit me and back up a little out of her reach. The technician laughs but ignores us for the most part. “Besides, she said maybe. She didn’t say it was a penis for sure.”
“I don’t know, babe. I see something there.”
Ev huffs at me in agitation. Guess that conversation we had where she said she didn’t care what we had was BS. Apparently, she wants a little girl.
“Of course you see something there. Girl parts are something too.” She rolls her eyes and then turns her head back toward the screen. “Is everything else good with the baby?” Ev asks, and I feel like a jackass for not asking the same question.
“Everything looks good so far. Just waiting for this little peanut to move one more time. There! There you go, love bug,” she says and clicks some buttons again on the keyboard, only this time a few pictures start printing. She rips them off and hands them to Ev, and I move closer to see. She typed the words “Hi Mommy and Daddy. See you soon! Love Baby Boy Callahan.”
Holy fuck!
“We’re having a son?” I look, and now it’s me that feels like crying. I don’t, of course, because that would make me a mangina, but I want to. “I mean, we’re having a boy, Ev.” She smiles down at the pictures the woman handed her, and maybe I was wrong about her wanting a girl. I’m just happy to see her smile at the news.
“We’re having a son,” she whispers. I kiss her head again and then look at the pictures.
“Thank you, Everly.” She looks up then. “Thank you for this. We’re going to do our best. I know this already because you’re his mother. So, thank you for our son.”
“Okay, I’m all done here. Everything looks good. You can use the paper towels there to clean up and meet me outside. Your OB will let you know when your next ultrasound will be, but usually not until closer to delivery unless there is a need before. Congrats!” she says and heads for the door.
“Thank you,” both Ev and I say as she leaves. Ev gets up and pulls her pants back up after wiping off the slimy shit she had on her belly. I offer to help, but she waves me off, so I give her space to do her thing. The entire time I can’t stop the Kool-Aid grin from sweeping my face. I’m sure I’ll be wearing it for the rest of the day. Hell, maybe the rest of my life.
Holy shit! I’m going to have a boy.
“Why is there never any damn parking?” I ask, circling the block for the third time. We just had a celebratory dinner, and I’m ready to do some other celebratory things in the comfort of home.
Everly shrugs beside me. “I don’t have a problem.”
“You have a reserved spot,” I point out.
“There!” Her arm stretches out, pointing to a spot fifty feet ahead. There’s an SUV just down the way that must have pulled out.
I swoop in, determined not to lose the spot even if it is a few blocks away. When we get out, the cold air hits me. The weather can’t seem to make up its mind.
“It was seventy yesterday,” Everly says as she folds her arms around herself.
I step up next to her and sling my arm over her shoulder, pulling her close. “Gotta love the fall.”
“It’s making me miss California.”
“Well, I wouldn’t be there.”
“Yup, not missing it now,” she says, looking up at me with that beautiful smile of hers. I can’t help but lean down to press my lips to hers.
I love walking with her, going out with her to dinner or the movies. Strange to admit, but I think she is what my life was missing. I don’t miss the single life. At all. Because I have her, I’m happy.
“I’m full, but I also want dessert,” she says, rubbing her stomach.
“Oh, baby, I can help you in that department.”
She shakes her head and giggles. “Not the kind of dessert I was talking about. Your little boy is hungry.”
“Little boy.” A boy. I still can’t believe it.
Today was the day. I don’t care either way, but when the technician said the baby is a boy, I was happy.
“But, I am definitely down for some dessert after, well . . . dessert,” she says with a wink.
Shaking my head, we head into the house and close and lock the door behind us.
“Ugh, I have to get out of these clothes.”
I follow her up the stairs. Any chance to watch her ass sway, I take. You can’t even tell she’s five months pregnant from this angle. Not from the front or back, only the side.
I watch from the doorway as she throws her clothes off, stripping naked, giving me a good look at her sexy body that is somehow even sexier with her stomach sticking out. She tosses clothes around the closet in a huff.
“Nothing fits,” she growls, finally deciding on some sleep pants and a T-shirt I left here.
I lick my lips because, damn, she looks good in my shirt. A little collarbone is showing, the shirt dwarfing her, showing off our size difference.
“Just tell your mom you need clothes. You’ll have five boxes on your doorstep in days.”
She turns to me, eyes wide. “Don’t joke about that.” Her tone is so serious I can’t help but laugh. “I’m serious, Niko. I told her in passing I needed a dress for a holiday dinner and a few days later there was a stack of boxes from Nordstrom on my porch.”
After getting a couple of glasses of water and a plastic cup Everly has filled with Frosted Flakes for her dessert, we settle onto the couch. The first trimester was so rough on Everly that she’s just gained back the weight she lost. There may be a few extra pounds, but they are all in the bump her stomach has gained. It’s a gentle slope, but laying back on the couch in my oversized-for-her shirt, it does, in fact, bump out.
“I can’t wait to tell my mom,” I say as I reach to run my hand down her side and across her stomach.
“You haven’t told her yet, have you?” Everly asks.
I shake my head and sigh. “Sometimes it’s hard to get ahold of her, and the times we’ve connected haven’t been at ideal times.”
“Cam was around,” she says, and I nod. “You should call her now.”
I purse my lips. “Seven-hour time difference. I’ll give her a call in the morning.”
“That has to be tough. Why did she go back?”
“After Dad died, she went through an awful depression.”
Everly laces her fingers with mine. “It was sudden if I remember correctly.”
I nod. “A heart attack, which was not expected. He was in good health; there were no warning signs.”
“I can’t even imagine.”
“She couldn’t even get out of bed the weeks following. My aunt was here, her sister, who suggested she go back to Greece. It was hard for me. It felt like I was losing both my parents in a small span, but I knew it was what was best for her. Her sisters and family are all still in Greece. I was an adult, albeit in college.”
“Was it what was best?” she asks.
“For her? Yes. She lived in Boston, but Greece is her home. I Skype’d with her back in those days. A few weeks and, while she still missed Dad, she came back to herself.”
“That had to be hard on you,” Everly says. Her brow is furrowed as she brushes her fingers through my hair.
“When are you going to tell your parents we’re having a boy?” I ask, changing the subject. It’s a hard topic for me to talk about because I do have issues with my mom leaving me. I love her, but it messed me up.
“Probably this weekend.”
“Family lunch?”
She nods. “Mom’s excited. I have a feeling there will be much shopping going on this weekend. She’ll want to decorate and get clothes and . . .” she lets out a sigh. “I love my mom, but she sometimes goes overboard.”
“First grandchild syndrome.”
“Yeah. Without a doubt. I have a feeling she’s going to spoil this baby rotten, so be prepared.”
I laugh at her statement, but I’m good with that. “Spoiled isn’t a bad thing as long as he knows that he will still have to earn things that he wants and doesn’t expect. I have faith in your parents. After all, you and Cameron aren’t rotten.”
“No. We both learned early on that we wanted to make our own way. It’s why we both barely touch the money Mom and Dad set aside for us when we turned of age. It’s there if we need it, but we don’t depend on it. I usually pretend that it’s not there.”
“That’s what I’m talking about. Your parents made sure you two were grounded. I don’t doubt that they won’t be the same with our son.” She nods her head yes as she piles more cereal into her mouth, and I laugh. “How is it that you even manage to make eating Frosted Flakes look sexy as fuck?”
“You’re crazy,” she replies after she swallows what’s in her mouth.
“I think so, too. Crazy as fuck for you.”
She bites her lip and reaches for the remote, turning on the TV and bringing up the guide.
This is what I love. Being with my family.
Finally home.