Her brain turned me on. It was incredible. She was way smarter than me – not that I’d admit it to her. I had the advantage of years of practical use, but she had a book smart like I’d never seen before.

“What are you going to do after college?” I asked when we’d finished working a handful of problems and it was clear she knew the stuff.

“The career fair is next week. I have some interviews and I’m going to try and get my resume in front of a few other companies while they’re on campus.”

“I don’t think I ever asked you what kind of engineer you were studying to be,” I said, wondering why I hadn’t thought to ask her before. I didn’t know much about her hopes and dreams outside of Todd. Shit, when did I start caring about other people’s hopes and dreams?

“Electrical. I’m interested in signal processing, specifically machine learning.”

“How very new age of you.”

“You majored in finance, yeah?” she asked.

I paused because I’d never told her that. I was certain I hadn’t. I didn’t like talking about myself – specifically my degrees or awards because it felt fucking weird to be defined by something so unimportant as what I’d majored in. Had Bianca looked me up?

“Someone did her homework.”

“Well, I had to make sure you weren’t some crazy psycho-stalker.”

“And my majoring in finance means I’m not a stalker?”

“No, but I didn’t find anything alarming. In fact, I found very little.”

This made me smile. “Good.”

“Why did you go into finance?”

Scrubbing a hand over my face, I thought about my answer. “I guess I wanted to do something challenging, but practical. And I wanted a career path that had stability so there’d be less of a chance of being out of a job when times were tough.”

“Wow.” Her voice had a hint of amazement and I was afraid I’d said too much – given too much away about my past. What kid chose a career path based on the economy? Parents and adults would like to think we all did, but in reality, I thought we all chose our paths based on things that sounded cool or for lifestyles we desired. Engineers didn’t want to dress up in suits every day any more than I wanted to roll into the office with cargo shorts and a t-shirt. I cringed at the thought.

“I guess that doesn’t sound like a very cool way to pick a career.”

“No, actually, I think that’s amazing. I don’t think very many people consider what life is going to be like after graduation. It’s tough out there even for people with lots of work experience.”

Her words soothed something inside of me. She got it. She got me.

We talked for an hour and every word out of her mouth captivated me more. My 8B was deep and thoughtful without being hokey or insincere. She saw the world through rose-tinted glasses but tackled decisions like the glass was half-empty.

I didn’t know what to make of her, but I was intrigued. I wanted to know more. I wanted to know everything.

When she eventually yawned loudly into the phone, I looked at the clock noticing it was midnight. I felt like a dick for keeping her up so late the night before a test. It didn’t occur to me until after we’d said our goodbyes and I’d stretched out into my bed that this was the first time I’d had a conversation with a woman like that. Without it even being planned, we’d had a phone call that had almost felt like a date – or at the very least the pre-cursor to a date. The getting to know you stage was a rush that I’d completely forgotten about.

The next morning when I arrived at the office, my boss was waiting for me. Still wearing the Bianca-induced smile, his presence didn’t annoy me the way it might have on a different day. Teddy Harrison was a good man, a good boss, even, but his penchant for starting the day off by blind siding employees with impromptu meetings made us all scratch our heads in frustration.

“Good morning, Court. Sorry to catch you just as you’re getting in, but I wanted to tell you Allen Sterling wrote a nice email on the good work you’re doing for him.

I dropped my laptop bag onto my desk and took a seat. “That’s great to hear. I sent travel directions to Mindy last night actually, he wants me back next month for another check in.”

“Actually, that’s partly why I’m here.”

“Oh?” I raised my eyebrows as I searched his face for some indication of the news.

Teddy ran a hand over his grayed moustache. “I’d like you to go back to Connecticut next week.”

“But Allen won’t have anything for at least another three.”

“Not for him, for us. Harrison and Mac wants to have a presence on campus this year. We got a last-minute invite to the career fair and we’d like you to go and do some head hunting for us.”

“Why me?” I tried to keep the note of disappointment from my voice. This was not something a senior risk analyst should be doing. We had an entire HR division for this sort of thing.

“I know it’s more of a human resources thing, but I’d like you to start leading your own team. You can pick them from the career fair, plus I’ll have some local candidates brought in for you to interview. It’s time for you to start mentoring a new crop of hungry kids.”

I laughed.

“Plus, you’re familiar with the area and the type of people there.”

By people I was sure he meant snooty rich people or, more specifically, their offspring.

“Wow, thank you. I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’re getting on a flight to Connecticut next week.”

“I’m not sure I’ll be very good at conducting interviews.”

“Nonsense, you’re a top employee. Just talk to them about your career – how you got started, how you’ve risen in the company, things you like about working for Harrison and Mac. Far better for this to come from someone like you than one of us old people. It hasn’t been so long for you. I can still remember you walking in fresh out of college.”

“That feels like a million years ago,” I told him truthfully.

Mr. Harrison chuckled and moved toward the door. “You’re still young. Thank you for doing this, Court, and try and have some fun while you’re there, eh? Some day you really will be old.” A sad sort of look passed over his face before he left me alone in my office.

As if it’d been a sure thing, which of course it was, the travel details were already in my inbox. I guess that explained why he was waiting in my office first thing.

I ran a hand through my hair as I contemplated jumping on a plane so soon after getting back. There wasn’t really anything holding me in NYC. My circle was small. I had an assorted variety of friends, or acquaintances, that I really only saw in one aspect of my life. Aside from Leika, they didn’t cross over.

I had a guy at the gym who I worked out with. Not because we were friends exactly, but because our schedules and lifting styles were the same. We shared a small part of ourselves with each other. For an hour, three to five days a week, depending on my travel schedule, we shot the breeze, keeping our conversation to stock prices, the news, and weights.

I had a group of guys at the office that were good for an occasional lunch out or happy hour after a shitty day. Most of us had been with the company since college and years of familiarity, more than friendship, made our conversations deeper. Questions about how the wife or kids were, for those that had them, updates on new apartments or homes, vacations, and, of course, work. These people probably knew the details of what was happening in my day-to-day life better than anyone – even Leika, but it was a shallow understanding.

Then the college buddies who’d known the me I was fifteen years ago – wild and reckless and still coming to terms with an anger about my life that threatened to consume me. I think they were all surprised to see how well I was doing now. They probably chalked it up to luck that out of our crew, I had the most stable and lucrative career. They didn’t see the hours they spent doting on wives or girlfriends the way I did – as an expensive distraction from work.

I didn’t resent their lives. I even envied them a bit, but when I’d vowed not to let the past dictate my future I’d settled into a controlled life where my time was spent deliberately. This went hand in hand with my decision to date casually and keep people at arm’s length.

I was second-guessing the way I’d siloed myself from meaningful relationships when I got a text from Bianca.

Bianca: Good Morning, handsome. Hope you have a great day.

I smiled. It was a great text. It made me wish she’d meant it specifically for me.

Me: You too sweetheart (Great text – probably only appropriate after you’re officially dating so you don’t come across as a stage five clinger, but the message itself is perfect)

I waited a full minute for a response, but when I didn’t get one I put my phone away and got to work. The day moved at a hurried pace filled with meetings and client calls and lunch at my desk. When I checked my phone at five-thirty, I was excited to see another text from Bianca.

Bianca: Aced the test. Thanks for helping me study.

The small gesture, thanking me for something that I’d never even considered a favor – even as her fake boyfriend, filled my chest with a warmth I didn’t understand. My mind wandered to Bianca and what part of me I’d shown her. And what part of her she had shown me.

I wanted to be a part of her life in a real way, even if I had to do it under the guise of helping her with Todd. And hopefully when she landed Todd, which I had no doubt she would, we could be… fuck, I didn’t know. Friends?

I packed up for the night with thoughts of Bianca and the trip I’d be making back to Connecticut next week. I was torn about telling her we’d be in the same city again, so I decided to hold off. My little 8B might pull back if she thought she was going to have to face me. If things went well over the next week, I’d tell her once I got there.

I hoped she would be ready to see me again because for the first time since I’d learned of the last-minute trip to Connecticut, I was looking forward to it and the only reason I could come up with for my unexplainable feelings… Bianca.