“My baby got her first job,” my mother had tears in her eyes as she placed both shaky hands on my face.

“I haven’t taken the job yet, Ma. There are still other options – other companies, graduate school even. They said if I decided to go to grad school to call them when I was done, and they’d still be interested if they had openings to fill.”

“I thought you said this company was your top pick,” my dad interjected. He moved casually in front of us to the stove, taking over the chopping my mother had been doing.

“They are. I just want to think it through before I make any big decisions. Another couple of years of school and there will be more opportunities available for me and a better salary, too. With a better salary I could help out more, pay for some of Donnie and Leo’s college tuition. The odds of them both getting scholarships for all four years is unlikely and −”

“No.” My father stopped chopping. “The boys are not your responsibility. We’ll help them as much as we can, and they’ll have to apply for loans or get jobs to cover the rest. You worked hard for your scholarship and they can do the same.”

“But I want to help.”

“They’ll be just fine. We’ll be just fine,” my father said as he dropped the knife down on the cutting board and walked over to me. He wrapped me into a big hug. “We’re proud of you. You’ve worked hard and it’s paying off.”

My mother wiped tears quickly from her face but didn’t interject. I wasn’t sure if it was guilt she was feeling for not being able to help me and the twins more or if she was silently wishing she could do the unthinkable mom move and accept my offer to help. I would regardless, but I knew my telling them that would be met with resistance.

“Are you staying for dinner?” she asked instead as she moved toward the stove and stirred the soup simmering in a big pot. Turning the burner off, she lifted the pot and began walking toward the opposite counter where she’d sat out plates and silverware. I shared a worried look with my father, but he shook his head, silently communicating not to say anything to my mother. He could read the concern on my face. I bit back the words to tell her to sit down and let someone else worry about dinner for a change. She worked too hard.

“No, Court’s having people over to his house.”

“Are we going to get to meet this Court you’ve mentioned?” My father asked as he placed a kiss on my mother’s cheek and suavely took the pot from her hands.

“I’m not sure,” I called as I slipped on my jacket and smoothed my dress down.

I didn’t think Court was too eager to meet my family. I wasn’t sure if it was uncomfortable for him because I was a girl and we had this weird friendship or if it was the family dynamic that bothered him, but I had seen it in his eyes yesterday when he had looked at our pictures in the hallway. He didn’t want to be here.

I gave them both a kiss on the cheek and I moved toward the front door. “I’ll see you guys in the morning.”

I took the subway from my parents’ house and as we drew closer to Court’s apartment I started to sweat with nervousness. I ran my hands down the front of my new dress. I’d bought it after my interview specifically for the party. It was the first piece of clothing I’d bought for myself in years and I was anxious that it was all wrong for whatever was going on tonight. The light pink sundress wasn’t overly revealing, but it was nice enough that I knew Court would notice the change in my wardrobe. I’d considered texting him earlier to ask what I should wear, but it had felt important to do it on my own.

When I was finally standing in front of his apartment door, my heart was beating so fast I nearly turned around and headed home, but before I could chicken out, Leika appeared behind me and a tall man with blonde hair that fell nearly to his shoulders was just a step behind her.

“Bianca!” she called out and stepped to me wrapping me in a big hug like she’d done the night before. “I’m so glad you came. How’d the interview go?”

“Good. It went really well. They offered me the job,” I said with enthusiasm and it was the first time I’d allowed myself to show any excitement over the news.

“Yay! Then this can be a celebration to many more nights of hanging out together in New York.” She smiled wide as she spoke and then as if just remembering someone else was in the hallway with us, she turned to the man standing behind her. “I’m sorry I forgot you two haven’t officially met. Bianca this is my boyfriend Jeff.”

“Nice to meet you.” He extended a hand and smiled at me while wrapping his free arm around Leika’s waist. “Leika’s been talking about you nonstop.”

She slapped him playfully and his smile widened. “I have not. Don’t tell her that. You’ll scare her off and I like this one. She’s good for Court.”

“We’re not –”

“Oh. I know.” She stepped forward and opened the door without knocking. “He’d never have brought you around if you two were dating – especially so soon, but the fact that he brought you at all says something.”

“We’re just friends.” I tried to sound convincing when I said it – not for her benefit but for mine. Admitting that I felt differently felt like inviting a broken heart.

She stopped and looked back to me, eyes narrowed like she was studying my answer. “You know, I think you both really believe that.”

I followed her through the apartment and while I was eager to memorize every word she said about Court so I could dissect it in detail later, my attention was pulled to the open concept apartment. A gray modern looking couch with a matching arm chair faced a mounted TV hanging on the main wall of the living area above a fireplace. It was cozy. Inviting even. So completely opposite of what I’d expected.

Voices drew my attention to the dining area where I could just make out the outlines of people through a large picture window. Leika moved in that direction, Jeff on her heels, and I followed behind them out to a patio like a third wheel, my heart stammering the entire way.

It was larger than I expected, spanning the width of the apartment and several feet deep. String lights hung all around, which surprised me that he’d paid attention to such a detail. There had to have been at least fifteen people already outside, but I found Court immediately. Neither of us moved – just stared. Me taking in the way he leaned casually against the railing, beer in hand. My gaze was drawn to the open collar of his button-down shirt and his tan forearms that were on display thanks to the rolled-up sleeves. He was perfection. Sophisticated elegance even holding a beer bottle.

The air sizzled between us.

Electric potential.

Voltage.

Current.

My feet moved on their own accord and once I’d started walking, Court straightened and met me half way. There was no smile. His face was serious. Hard even.

“Bianca.” My name came out in a harsh greeting, but if his eyes could welcome me they’d not only smiled but wrapped me in a hug and kissed me on both cheeks. He scanned me from head to toe, not in a creepy way, but in acknowledgement that I’d put effort into the way I looked, and he appreciated it. He was recognizing that I did this for him. There was no Todd tonight.

“Hi.”

He leaned down and wrapped an arm around my waist in a half hug. The movement brought his lips to the top of my head and the heat that hummed off his body pulled at me to sway into his touch.

“You look beautiful. Too beautiful. I’m not letting you out of my sight tonight,” he whispered. He dropped a kiss so quick and light to my temple that I couldn’t be sure I didn’t imagine it before he pulled me around the patio, introducing me as we came to groups of people.

Everyone was beyond nice and there was no awkward talk about who I was and how Court met me. My fears about coming here and meeting his friends were completely unwarranted. No one cared that I was twenty-two or still in college. No one even asked.

More surprising was the people Court associated with were so… normal. Somehow, I’d expected to walk out into a group of tense middle-aged men and women who were too mature to associate with someone like me. Court had never made me feel that way, so I knew it was my own insecurities, but these people were so much like my own friends that I felt at ease.

And Court… he was the most surprising. While he’d always been closed off when it came to personal details about his life, he’d always been affectionate and charismatic toward me. With the people he’d invited to his home, his friends, he was more of a fixture than a contributor to their conversations. I always pictured him as being this dominant force in every circle, but it was clear when seeing him surrounded by friends that I’d projected how I saw him as a personality instead of who he was to me.

“Your friends are nice,” I said once we’d found ourselves alone in conversation. The party was in full swing and the laughter and loud conversation filled the night around us.

He nodded and looked over me to the people on his patio. There was a sort of a sad, removed glint to his gaze and I worried for a moment that he resented my being here and keeping him from his friends.

“If I’m honest, these are mostly Leika’s friends. Don’t get me wrong, they’re great, but outside of my buddies from college and Leika I don’t have a lot of friends.”

My face must have shown my sadness at his words because he grinned as he said, “Don’t go feeling all sorry for me now, 8B.”

“You don’t want friends?”

As if he could read the hidden meaning behind my question, he dipped his head closer to mine. “You want to be my friend, Bianca?”

The zap that blasted through my body screamed no, but my brain was sold on being whatever I could to Court. Being near him set my body on fire and I could no more deny myself that than I could cut off my own air supply.

Court had become important. Vital.

And I thought I was important to him, too. Although, I still didn’t know why. Why did he let me in when he guarded his life and his affection so closely?

“Yes,” I muttered and the look in his eye darkened as if I’ve told him I wanted to be more than friends. I wanted to be everything.

Maybe that was exactly what I’d done. He always seemed to know the things I couldn’t bring myself to say.

“Come on, let me show you the apartment.”

Court took my hand and led me back into his apartment. He didn’t stop when we got into the main living area, but instead took me through a door off the living room and we stepped into darkness. I felt the air change around us as I stared up at his shadow.

“Rule number, whatever number we’re on, don’t follow men into dark rooms unless you’re prepared to get kissed.”

And then his lips crashed to mine. I opened my mouth to let him deepen the kiss and his tongue swept in, warm and soft. His hands found my waist as he guided me closer. Not flush against him, but close enough that I knew if I so much as leaned forward, I’d be met with his hard body. I didn’t lean in though. I’d frozen – no, not frozen. I’d become grounded to the spot.

Court had kissed me before, a soft brush of his lips on my temple or cheek to say goodbye. They’d always left me feeling shaky and weak kneed – a little pathetic, even, because having that reaction from such a kiss had felt ridiculous.

But this kiss…

This kiss made me feel charged.

Alive.

Hungry.

And his intent was clear.

He ended the kiss but didn’t let go of me. He rested his forehead against mine. Our chests heaved together, and our raspy breaths were the only noise.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to drag you into a dark room and –” His words trailed off and I could feel his body tense while he struggled to find words. “I think we covered today’s lesson.”

“What?” I said, still struggling to come down from the high of the kiss.

“Today’s lesson on men – if you follow them in dark rooms you’re going to get kissed,” he said as he pulled back and hauled me out of the bedroom.

I didn’t get the proper tour he promised, but I did see more of it as he took me to the kitchen to get himself a fresh beer and pour me a drink. He pulled out a new bottle of rum and a two liter of Diet Coke and mixed me a drink while my head spun from the kiss and the fact I was in his apartment meeting his friends. I didn’t ask him if he bought the diet and rum specific for me. I knew he had in the same way that he knew I’d dressed up for him.

“There you two are,” Leika stepped in from the patio.

I felt the blush in my cheeks, but Court just wrapped an arm around me casually as she joined us in the kitchen.

“You’re hogging, Bianca.” She looked at Court with a playful scowl. I was being pulled to her before I realize she’d grabbed my hand. “I’m stealing you.”

Court chuckled, and his arm fell away from my hips. “I guess I don’t have any say in this.”

She didn’t respond, but when I looked over my shoulder to Court he had a genuine smile on his face while he watched Leika and I walk away from him.