TWENTY TWO

 

Each and every birthday that Danica had was a gift, and everyone, it seemed, was very aware of that. It had been over a year and a half since Danica had been declared in remission, and sometimes, she gave the impression that she had forgotten about the whole thing, but Dane didn’t think that she had.

He knew that he would never forget, and neither would Rebecca or Taylor. No one, or no adult, anyway, who had seen her at her pale, slender, frail worst, would forget. The kids at her school seemed to have, which was a blessing, but for Dane, the fact that she was celebrating her eighth birthday was a huge deal.

It was always a cause for celebration when a kid had a birthday, but when Dane looked over at Rebecca, when he saw her gaze greedily fixed on her one and only daughter, he knew that nothing that he was feeling could even hold a candle to her fierce joy. Danica was alive, and the more months that passed since she was officially in remission, the more likely it seemed that she was going to remain that way.

At the moment, no one looking at her would believe that she had ever been sick. Not only had she shot up several inches, but her hair, which had once been nothing more than a thin, wisp of a buzz cut was now thick and wavy and long enough that it brushed her shoulders. Her cheeks were fleshed out and no longer pale and wan, but filled with color. Bright, hectic color just at the moment, Dane noticed fondly, as she was busy running around like a crazy person with the rest of the many children that she had made friends with.

Danica was pretty and bright and friendly, and Dane knew that she would be popular. Now that her energy was back, now that she had beaten cancer, she was going to be quite the force to be reckoned with, because she had never lost that core of pure steel which ran through the center of her and gave her more strength than most adults had, much less a child.

“Okay, everyone! Time for lunch,” Rebecca called. While Dane had been lost in his own thoughts, she had accepted an order of pizza, and the hungry children all piled around the table. Now that they were standing relatively still, Dane was even more stunned. There had to be at least twenty kids. That probably wasn’t entirely normal for a child Danica’s age, most of her class had to be there.

Dane stood back, not sure where his place was in all of this. He hadn’t been to a child’s birthday party since he had been a child himself, and he found that he wasn’t exactly sure how to act. So he hovered out of the way because while Danica had made it very clear that she wanted him here, he had no idea what his role was supposed to be.

A flash of movement caught his eye, a young man who would always draw Dane’s attention onto him, and Dane was suddenly grinning. Taylor approached, his eyes full of affection in a way that Dane knew only happened for a select group of people, all three of whom were in this room. Dane was honored to be included in that number.

Taylor was holding two plates of pizza, and he handed one to Dane and then stood by his side, both of them munching in companionable silence. The pizza was good, but Dane slipped his arm around Taylor’s slender waist and tugged him close as soon as his hands were free to do so.

“I’m not even sure why we’re here,” he admitted, with a wry little laugh. “She doesn’t seem to care much whether we are or not.”

“She cares,” Taylor contradicted, shooting a clearly surprised look up at Dane. When Dane arched an eyebrow to contest that, Taylor smirked slightly at him. “See how she looks over sometimes? She would notice if we weren’t here. Sorry, babe, you’re stuck here until the party is over.”

Dane smiled a little. Taylor had known just what he needed to hear to feel better. Because he was right, Danica was looking over at them, just subtly, quietly reassuring herself, from time to time, that Dane and Taylor were both there for her special day.

Somehow, that made things so much better for him. Knowing that Danica, who was the most important person at this birthday party, wanted him around, he felt much more relaxed. His body relaxed and he pulled Taylor closer against him, since, as odd as it seemed to Dane, no one in the town seemed to mind that he and Taylor were together. Or not that anyone had dared to tell him, anyway. Maybe it was ridiculous that that meant as much to him as it did, but for someone who had been kicked out of his house for being gay, the easy acceptance of the town helped a lot.

As the kids ate and chattered at a volume that Dane wouldn’t have thought possible from such small lungs, Rebecca came over, smiling at Taylor and Dane with every bit as much fondness as she had Danica. Another thing that felt so achingly strange to Dane, that anyone could know him, have spent time with him, and still look at him like they liked him.

“How’s life in the big city?” Rebecca asked, grinning at them as they all took refuge as far away from the dining room table as was humanly possible while still being in the room. This had been their first chance to catch up in a while, and Dane couldn’t help but be touched, too, that she cared enough to try.

“Different,” Taylor ventured thoughtfully. “But we got a good apartment. Really close to campus, without needing to deal with dorms or anything. I’m pretty happy with it.”

Taylor spoke in an offhand way, but only Dane would know the truth about that. Taylor had been horribly homesick for the first few weeks that they had moved in, to the point where Dane had wondered if they would have to move back to Rebecca’s place in Snoqualmie. She would’ve been happy to take them, and if it were easier for Taylor, Dane would’ve gone for it in a second even if it meant a longer commute to school.

Taylor had been clear, though. He wanted to build something with Dane, and while they would always be close to Rebecca and Danica, Taylor wanted to focus on their relationship. Which Dane actually thought was a pretty good idea. Some separation between Taylor and the rest of his family was a good thing, especially with how close they had all been while Danica was sick. The relationships would always be important to all of them, Dane knew, and slowly, Taylor had gotten adjusted to living apart. It had been different on the road, Taylor had confessed because that had been exciting and that had buoyed him up.

“It’s been really good,” Dane agreed, and Rebecca smiled at both of them. There was a hint of wistful sadness in her eyes, and part of her would have, Dane knew, preferred to keep Taylor close to her forever, but she knew that wasn’t practical.

“Good,” she echoed and then added. “And school? Also good?”

“Yeah,” Dane said, smiling. “I’m gonna get an engineering degree.” He couldn’t help but speak with a tone of wonder in his voice because part of him had a hard time thinking that he would even have a chance at something like that. But everyone at school that he told just accepted it like it was a valid thing for him to do. It blew him away.

“Good!” she said again and seemed to mean it sincerely. “What about you, Taylor? Do you know what you’re going to do yet?”

“No,” Taylor admitted. “I have some ideas, but I’m not sure anything is going to pan out.”

“Whatever you do,” Rebecca told him, with a bright smile on her face and so much pride in her eyes that it made Dane’s eyes sting. “I know you’ll be good at it.”

Danica called her over then, which was probably a good thing because Dane had some getting control of himself to do. Did Danica and Taylor know how lucky they were to have a mother like that? Someone who would support them, be proud of them, without even seeming to think about it? Dane had never had anything like that, and he knew how lucky he was to have a place in this amazing woman’s life, and heart, at all.

“Your mom’s great,” Dane finally managed, and Taylor gave him a tiny little smile that let Dane know that Taylor, at least, did have some appreciation for her.

“I know,” he said, and then Danica beckoned them over, too, imperiously inviting them to take a more active role in her party. Dane and Taylor exchanged glances, grinned at each other, and then went to the little girl without any further hesitation.

 

* * *

 

There was definitely a serious nostalgia hit when night fell, and Taylor and Dane were left alone. Danica and Rebecca had gone to bed, and just as it had been on so many nights, it was just the two of them, completely alone together.

Which was sort of funny, he thought, because he and Taylor lived together now all the time, and it was normally just them. Still, it was somehow deeply naughty to be touching Taylor in this house, because even though Danica and Rebecca both slept pretty soundly, he couldn’t help but think about how they could wake up and see, however unlikely that was.

“Maybe we should go upstairs,” Taylor murmured, seemingly feeling the same things that Dane was. They had been sitting on the couch, their kisses getting more and more heated, their hands bolder, but anything further would be taking more of a risk than either of them really should.

“Yeah,” Dane murmured, and it was then, looking into those clear, brilliant blue eyes, that he knew. He had only been thinking about it before, more and more seriously. He had known that it was going to happen, but also that he would know when it was right, when it was time.

And he’d been right.

He unfolded himself from the couch suddenly and held out a hand to Taylor. It wasn’t that he could say that he had no nerves at all because that wasn’t the case. His stomach was clenched tight, and he had the strangest feeling like he couldn’t breathe quite normally, but he also felt calm and secure at the center of himself. Like he was in the eye of a tornado, with everything on the outside whirling crazily but dead calm where he was.

“C’mon, Taylor,” he said, and when Taylor took his hand, the young man gave him a curious look. Dane’s hand was shaking, but he was still sure of himself. “It’s time.”

Taylor was an intelligent, perceptive man, and Dane saw the understanding dawn in his eyes.

“Are you sure?” Taylor asked, and Dane smirked and gripped Taylor’s hand, drawing it down to the front of his jeans, where Dane’s thick cock was already cheerfully hard enough that it was just short of bursting out.

“Does it seem like I’m sure?” he asked, and Taylor just grinned at him, finally seeming like he might just be starting to believe him. And it was very obvious that Taylor wanted it, too, by how he was suddenly the one pulling Dane up the stairs, which Dane was going to allow.

The moment they were in the room, Taylor was all over Dane. He had never been this aggressive before, tugging Dane’s clothes off, wrapping his hand around Dane’s cock like it belonged to him. Dane had never thought he would like being treated this way, but when it showed Taylor’s eagerness for him, he found that he didn’t mind at all.

“Do you need me to go slower?” Taylor asked like he was sensing Dane’s misgivings. He probably was. Taylor was like that. He saw things that most people wouldn’t have bothered even to look for. It was reassuring to know that Taylor would stop, right up until the last minute, if Dane asked him to.

Not that he had any intention of doing so. But the fact that Taylor obviously cared so much was part of the reason why Dane had been willing to consider doing this in the first place.

“No,” Dane murmured, and he was being honest. He had held onto this for a long time, but now that the moment was upon him, he found himself impatient. This was the last thing that he and Taylor hadn’t tried, the only thing keeping them apart, the way he saw it. He wanted that last line crossed. He wanted to know that he belonged to Taylor and Taylor belonged to him in each and every single way.

“Thank God,” Taylor replied, and then he was pushing Dane down onto the bed. He was about half Dane’s size, but the surprise of the move did have Dane stepping back, the edge of the bed hitting the backs of his knees so that he sank down onto it.

If he had given this much thought, he probably would have thought that it was a turn-off, the way Taylor was acting. Dane had always been in control, and he had always liked it that way. But, somewhat to his surprise, he couldn’t help but be aroused by the way Taylor was taking that control.

There was no doubt that Taylor wanted it, and that was one thing that made it so good. But more than that, Dane felt like he could just let go, and let what was going to happen, happen. He could trust Taylor, that was what it came down to, and he smiled as he spread his legs to the insistent pressure of Taylor’s strong thighs, pressing them apart so that Taylor could settle on top of him.

His mind whirled, but there was still that calmness, that sense of rightness, which saw Dane through the nerves. Taylor had the lube, and he was preparing Dane. He spread his legs and breathed deeply, though the sensation of a slick finger probing inside of him was strange.

Or at least it was until Dane felt the brush of a wet, warm fingertip against his prostate. He had stimulated Taylor’s prostate so many times, and for the first time, he was getting to know what it felt like himself. If he had been highly nervous, it would have all faded away in the face of that pleasure, which was so intense that it was almost painful, unlike anything that he had ever felt before.

To his utter shock, his cock started to throb, to ooze precome, like he could come just from the sweet press of that finger against that most sensitive area. He hissed and felt his ass clench around the finger inside him, which was soon joined by another.

And that was another surprise because two fingers felt better inside of him than one did. Something about the stretch of it, the sweet, slight sting, had Dane’s body alight and his cock throbbing like it might explode.

“Now,” he gasped and then forced his voice to be stronger because this was something that he had been just curious about before, but now he felt like he outright needed it. “Now, damn it, Taylor. Take me.”

He wasn’t begging. If anything, he was demanding, but he still knew how strange and remarkable it was that he would say those two words at all. And from the smirk on Taylor’s face, he knew just as well. But Taylor, to his credit, didn’t tease Dane, and he didn’t make him wait long at all, although it felt like hours as Taylor slid his fingers from Dane’s body, leaving him feeling empty inside.

Taylor squirted more of the shimmering lube over himself, and Dane groaned as more of that molten heat raced through him as Taylor stroked his own dick to spread the substance over himself.

“Now,” he reiterated, desperately hoping that Taylor would give him what he needed. Dane wasn’t going to beg for it, he wasn’t, but if Taylor kept holding off, who knew? And all of this after only a few seconds of waiting.

“Now,” Taylor said the word clearly, and then he was on top of Dane, his slender weight resting on top of Dane, the thick length of his cock so slippery as it rubbed over Dane’s own erection, over the fullness of his balls and down over his taint. And that was something else that he hadn’t known would feel the way it did.

Suddenly, he was understanding a little bit more just why men liked bottoming so much. He had never really gotten it before, but now, it made some sense. And he knew that they had only just scratched the surface.

He barely had time to think of any of that, because Taylor gave one strong movement of his hips, and the head of his cock popped inside of Dane. For a moment, Dane was sure that it wouldn’t fit, that Taylor was too big or Dane’s ass was too tight or both, but then it was happening, and he found himself stifling a cry by biting at Taylor’s shoulder.

On some level, he had been braced for it to hurt. If it did, though, he wasn’t aware of it, couldn’t feel it. Mostly, it was an unfamiliar feeling, a sense of fullness, but something in him was telling him to move, that it was only going to get better as his body adjusted.

“Don’t stop,” Dane commanded, and he heard Taylor’s soft chuckle and knew that his lover understood all of this far too well. Hadn’t Taylor been in the same situation the first time they had been together?

“I wouldn’t do that to you,” Taylor whispered, and one of his hands, still slick with lube, wrapped around Dane’s cock as he started to move. Slow, but relentless, inch by inch, Taylor slid inside Dane’s body and claimed Dane, so it felt, for his own.

It was all too much, or it could have been. But somehow, it was also perfect. Dane groaned and seized Taylor’s lips in a desperate kiss, trying to somehow come to grips with the throbbing, pulsating need that Taylor’s cockhead was raising in him as it forged deeper and deeper inside of him.

Taylor never stopped. Not even when he was fully inside of Dane, and his pelvis was right up against Dane’s ass. Dane gave himself over to all of it, actually struggling against Taylor, reaching around to grip his ass and try to push himself deeper onto that thick cock.

And then he was losing the connection, just as slowly. Taylor was pulling out, teasing him with it now, until just the very tip of him was inside of Dane. Just when Dane thought that he was going to have to scream, that he might just use his greater size to flip them both over and use Taylor’s cock, Taylor gave him this little smirk, like he knew exactly what he was doing, and drove once more deep inside of him.

Now slow this time. Then quick, and hard, and Dane hissed as all of the sensations, which had been drawn out, hit him at once. He squirmed on Taylor, and yet, for all of Dane’s strength, for all of the size difference, Dane was helpless in the force of the pleasure he was being given.

“I want you to come for me,” Taylor murmured, his eyes almost predatory as he gazed down at Dane. Dane had never seen those lovely eyes like this before or heard the tone of his voice, and at that moment, he knew that he had made the right choice.

For them, at least, this was perfect. They had both given themselves, fully and completely, to each other. That last line was crossed or would be, the moment that Dane and Taylor both came, which wasn’t going to be very long at all.

“I love you,” Dane told him, utterly helpless to keep it back and knowing that he didn’t have to. “I love you so much, darlin’ boy …”

And then Taylor thrust in the exact right way, and his hand twisted so that his fingertips were grazing over the spot where the head of his cock met the shaft. Dane shuddered, something beyond what he had known as pleasure rocking through him as he drew close to a release unlike any other.

“I love you too, Dane,” Taylor whispered, and they kissed once more, Taylor’s hand stroking in that perfect way, their bodies linked, meshed, joined fully and completely and at that moment, it almost felt to Dane like he and Taylor had somehow managed to become one person instead of two.

It was in that moment, that perfect, complete link between them, that Dane came. And it was at the same moment that Taylor did, so that they shared that pleasure, too.

This was right, and it was fair. They had both been each other’s firsts, and no matter what happened between the two of them in their lives, they would always have that. Dane knew it, and looking deep into Taylor’s eyes, he saw the same knowledge there. This meant something.

Even as the orgasm faded away, leaving them both breathless and glowing, Dane found that the certainty remained. He pulled Taylor close against him, kissing his sweet, full lips, just because he loved him. It was a sweeter kiss than usual, less passionate, but no less sincere.

They didn't speak. Neither of them. There was nothing more to say than what had been said, nothing that could state any more clearly how things were between them than the feel of their arms around each other, their bodies close together.

No matter what happened between them, Dane was very sure that this would always mean something to him. But, for the first time, he let himself know another truth which was even more profound, even more deeply felt.

This thing between them? It wasn’t going to end. He couldn’t have said why he was so sure, but at that moment, he was. And it was such a good thought, he held onto it tightly, he cherished it because it felt not only like he wanted it to be true, but like it was.