SIX

 

The moment that Dane heard that the fair was heading back to Snoqualmie that was the very same moment that he should have left it. The moment when he should have headed somewhere, anywhere, else. The moment when he should have finally been able to give up this job, find something else to do.

Leaving the first time hadn’t been nearly as easy as he might have hoped. When Taylor had pulled Dane into bed, he had gone without any real qualms. Taylor had seemed to mean it, to be just as determined to stay unattached as Dane was, and he hadn’t been able to think of even one reason to turn the beautiful young man down.

His own emotions hadn’t been anything that he could have counted on. And why should he? Taylor was not the first fling that Dane had had through the years. It had never been hard to kiss them goodbye and walk away, and never before had he looked back. If he had run into any of those people again, and he probably had, since the fair tended to go through the same small towns, those faces had all blurred together, and no one had ever sought him out again.

He could still remember the night that he had left Snoqualmie. When he had snuck out of Taylor’s house like a thief in the night, guilt had ripped through him. Not because he was leaving, but because he had spent a long time, far too long, just looking down at Taylor as he slept sprawled out on the bed, face relaxed and open, his lips stretched in that gentle smile which Dane knew very well that he had been the one to put there.

At that moment, more than a year ago, Dane had almost decided to stay. It was ridiculous and pointless even to think about, settling down in a town he barely knew, all because of a young man that he had only just met, but the urge was there, and at that moment, it had seemed like a strangely good kind of crazy to think about it.

So he had left, and he had never, ever regretted that decision. Not even once. Not even when he woke up in the middle of the night, almost thinking that he could feel a slender body curled around his own, that he could feel the imprint of hot, eager lips against him. Not even when he found himself lost in thoughts of how unbearably erotic it had been to have Taylor, inexperienced and nervous, go out of his way to bring Dane into his bed.

There were other towns, and other good-looking men, probably. The truth was, they all blurred together, while Taylor’s face, his tight little body, his brilliant blue eyes, stayed just as clear in his mind’s eyes as if Taylor had stood in front of him an hour ago instead of a year.

Dane hadn’t been so much as able to look at any other men with interest, much less touch them. His memories of Taylor stood in his way before he could even think about it before his mind could even go there. An aesthetic appreciation was all that he could manage, and that probably wasn’t helping much with his mood.

So yeah, it wasn’t a great idea for him to go back to the small town where he had met the young man who had thrown his life completely off. But the worst part of it was, part of him wanted to go back. To see if he couldn’t track Taylor down and try to get him out of his system.

It was just sex, right? Taylor was the most beautiful man that Dane had ever seen, and he’d only gotten to taste his sweetness once. Still, as much sense as it seemed to make that Dane could forget him by getting bored of him, something told him that it was really just as well if he could just move on. Taylor was dangerous.

Somehow, though, he found himself rolling in with the fair past the Snoqualmie town boundary. Inertia, maybe? Was that what had him here? That seemed much safer than the alternative.

It was later in the year. Maybe Taylor wouldn’t come at all. But it nagged at Dane as he helped set up the rides, jangling at the back of his mind in a highly irritating way that he couldn’t seem to control.

What had happened to the sick girl, Danica? Had she gotten better? Was she the same, or even worse? His mind veered away from that because, in a way, the kid had gotten to him just as much as Taylor did, if in a very different way.

It had been more than a year, and a lot could happen in a year. He probably wouldn’t see Taylor at all, that was the most likely outcome. Or he would see him, but neither of them would remember, or even recognize each other. It wasn’t like they’d had a very long association and there was no way that Taylor was as beautiful as Dane remembered him being. It wasn’t possible.

Only he was wrong, on all sorts of counts.

It was the very first day, and while Dane was in the grips of something like nostalgia because he had been assigned to the Ferris wheel where he had met Taylor and Danica last year, that he realized just how terribly wrong he had been.

He saw Taylor before the younger man saw him, and Dane had a full thirty seconds or so to try to adjust to the sight of him. It wasn’t enough, not nearly, to protect Dane’s heart from the impact of those bright eyes, shimmering blue even in the distance which separated them, when Taylor looked up.

No, Taylor was not as beautiful as Dane had thought, as he had remembered. He was a thousand times more. A hundred thousand times. Dane had forgotten the sweet curve of the lower lip, the faint roundness of the cheek, the way that Taylor’s body would, as if by instinct, incline toward Dane, like he couldn’t even help it. He had forgotten a hundred little things, and for a moment, Dane, jaded and world-weary as he was, couldn’t make himself look away. Or even breathe.

At first, Taylor was looking down at the little girl by his side. Danica was a little taller, a trifle more robust, but she still had a scarf tied over her small head in a way that made it pretty clear that she was sick. Maybe a little bit better, though. Or was that just wishful thinking?

Taylor looked better than ever, his shoulders just a little wider, his face a little leaner. The man was so young. There were six years of difference between them, and even with Taylor being out of his teens officially now, Dane was still very aware of that time. What had Taylor been up to in that time? It seemed impossible that anyone as intelligent as he was could still be here, and yet, here he was.

And that was when Taylor glanced up and their eyes met once more across the distance which separated them. For a moment, Dane was sure that Taylor was just going to keep walking. Maybe take Danica and outright leave the fair, because Dane was very aware that he had left, snuck out like a thief in the middle of the night while Taylor slept. Maybe there was some bad feeling there. Because honestly, Dane had always felt a bit guilty about that. No relationship was possible, but he could have at least said goodbye.

Perhaps Taylor would have left, too, if Danica hadn’t glanced up, probably to see what her big brother was looking at. Then two sets of sapphire eyes were looking at Dane, making him feel a little bit like a bug under a microscope, though Danica’s, at least, were friendly and open. Taylor’s, not as much.

They were too far away for Dane to hear what Danica said urgently to her big brother, but the results of it, at least, were clear enough. Danica grabbed Taylor by the hand and tugged him over, and Dane watched, torn between running and staying and seeing a similar conflict in the set of Taylor’s shoulders.

Once they were close, Danica dropped Taylor’s hand and utterly shocked Dane by outright launching herself at him. He dropped down just in time to catch her small body in his arms, and she hugged him more tightly, with more strength, than he would have thought possible.

Maybe she was getting better.

“Dane! You didn’t even say goodbye,” she chided, and the statement should have had him instantly on the defense, but there was something so artless about the way she said it. And she was just a kid, so he hugged her back a little awkwardly, but sincerely. He just wasn’t used to this sort of thing.

“Hey, kiddo,” Dane whispered, and he was both sad and relieved when she let go of him. It had been sort of nice being hugged. It was the first time all year, he realized. Who would have thought that he, of all people, would end up a hermit? Or would it be more accurate to say that he had become a monk? “Sorry. You passed out before I could.”

He kept his voice light and teasing and was rewarded by her grin. His experience with kids was pretty limited, but he seemed to have struck the right tone with her. Lightly, he patted her shoulder and then rose slowly to his feet.

Now would be a very good time for a loud group of people to come and demand rides, so that he would have to do his work. But it was early in the day, even if it was a Saturday. The kids would be there, he knew, but Taylor and Danica were definitely among the first to show up.

Almost like they had been waiting for him, though that was ridiculous.

Nothing distracted him. Nothing stopped his gaze from scanning up the smooth, slender lines of Taylor’s body, over his chest and shoulders and up his neck to his strong jaw. Dane braced himself, and then his gaze flicked up the last couple of inches, over a full, sensitive mouth to face the full impact of those enormous blue eyes.

He had thought that he could prepare himself for that impact, but he couldn’t. Taylor looked at him, and it was like he could see right into Dane’s soul, which wasn’t a place that he wanted anyone mucking around, thank you very much. So, if that was the case, why couldn’t Dane make himself look away?

“Hey,” Taylor murmured, the faintest trace of a smile lingering in the corners of his lips and eyes. Was there maybe a trace of affection, too? Dane almost thought so, which was more than a little bit surprising to him, given that he had left in a way that even he knew was pretty uncool.

“Hey, Taylor,” Dane said back, forcing his voice to be far more casual than it wanted to come out. “How’s it going?”

It wasn’t what he wanted to say. He wanted to demand, first and foremost, an update on Danica’s medical condition. But he was too tactful for that, not right in front of the little girl. He wanted to ask what Taylor was doing with his life these days, but he wasn’t sure that he wanted to know. For the first time, gazing at Taylor, he had to wonder if someone had swooped into his life and swept him off of his feet.

Not unlikely. The passing of the year had made Taylor more stunningly gorgeous than ever. Dane would be more surprised if no one had gone after Taylor. Not unless all of the men in the area had gone blind. Not that it would bother him if Taylor did have a boyfriend, he told himself firmly. He wasn’t jealous at the thought, and he had no possessive urges at all toward this young man.

None.

“Dane, are you leaving in a week again?” Danica asked, and it was a relief, in a way, to pull his gaze away from Taylor and give the little girl a bit of a grin. She was bouncing slightly, both small, frail hands clenched around one of his wrists, her face so beseeching that he couldn’t help but be touched.

Somehow, he’d come to mean something to this girl, and that was sort of amazing since they had only spent that one week together the previous year. Of course, maybe it was only fair, because she, and her stupidly hot big brother, were on his mind far too much themselves.

“That’s right, sugar,” Dane told her and then took a deep breath. There were things that he wanted to say to Taylor, and just then, the group of kids that he had been hoping for earlier came into view, a wave of sound and energy sweeping in front of them as they came. Dane caught their collective eye. At this point, he had been working for the fair for so many years that he was good at getting people onto his rides, maybe one of the reasons that his boss hadn’t fired him yet.

Soon, the ride was full, and Dane ushered Danica on himself, not taking any tickets for it. When the big wheel was spinning with the kids shrieking delightedly, Dane finally dared to look over at Taylor for just a second.

“Look, how we left things …” Dane started, but Taylor just raised his hand and shook his head, a fond little smile on his face.

“No. Don’t. If you’re going to apologize or get defensive, just don’t,” Taylor requested. “We both knew what that was. I don’t regret anything.”

Dane frowned, lowering his gaze to the controllers again, not that there was that much for him to do once he’d started the ride. It took far less attention than he was giving it, but it was safer to look at the machinery than into Taylor’s eyes.

The thing was, Dane might have told him if he were braver, that Dane did regret something. He regretted leaving as suddenly as he did. Hell, sometimes he thought that he regretted leaving at all, but he wasn’t going to say that when Taylor had pretty much just told him that it meant nothing to him.

“Okay,” Dane said instead, and an awkward silence lingered between them. Even as the fair started to fill up with families, and groups of preteens and teenagers, Dane could swear that he felt that silence like an actual physical force stretching between himself and Taylor.

“Dane,” Taylor finally said, his voice low, but Dane felt like he would have been able to hear it anywhere, no matter what else was going on. “I could come back later if you wanted. Just like last year.”

Dane’s eyebrows lifted, and he was very deliberately amused by what Taylor had said. Through the years, he had had quite a few liaisons, but it was pretty rare that the other person was the one who was so blunt about it. Usually, that was his job, and a flush of heat went through his body as he let his gaze trail slowly over Taylor’s body again.

“Booty call?” he drawled and was amused to see Taylor flushing up slightly. His normal way of operating would have been to say thanks, but no thanks. He didn’t need any entanglements, but the fact of the matter was that he didn’t think he had to worry about that. Not from Taylor, who seemed to be maybe even less likely to want a commitment than Dane was.

Which made it perfect, right? Taylor had, though Dane suspected that this would surprise the younger man, been the best sex that Dane had ever had. So why not enjoy another roll in the hay? Very obviously, Dane didn’t have to worry about Taylor trapping him into anything.

Odd how he was slightly disappointed about that, even as he had to acknowledge that he would be running so far and fast if Taylor had shown even the slightest sign of possessiveness.

Dane rolled the ride to a halt, and, cart by cart, he started to unload the kids. It gave him some time to think, not that he’d come to that many conclusions by the time the last child, Danica, slid out of her seat and gave him a little grin and a wave as she took Taylor’s hand.

“See you tomorrow, Dane!” Danica spoke brightly, and with an assurance that Dane found charming. She just assumed that they were coming back and that it would be like the year before. Of course, why wouldn’t she? As far as she knew, nothing had changed. She didn’t know about the complexities of Dane and Taylor’s relationship.

Such as it was.

“I’ll see you, Dane,” Taylor said, leaving it carefully ambiguous as to when that would be. Dane hadn’t agreed to see Taylor that night, but he also hadn’t said no.

Before Dane could say anything at all, Taylor and Danica were gone, and another big group of kids started to line up for the Ferris wheel. Dane had seen this sort of thing before. In a small town like this, a traveling amusement park was a big deal, and Dane knew that they would be busy.

Maybe that would stop him from thinking, but the truth was, even as he threw himself into his work with a frenzy which his boss wouldn’t believe if he saw it, nothing could distract him from a set of vivid blue eyes, the same aching shade as the autumn sky overhead.

Nothing could stop him from remembering, and if Taylor did show up that night, Dane didn’t think that he would be able to resist the gorgeous young man. He wasn’t even sure he would be able to make himself try.