Chapter 11
Alyssa sat next to Gray in the shabby waiting room. She didn’t want to be here, but Gray was right. It was the responsible thing to do.
Every few seconds, he put his hand on her knee in an effort to keep it still. As soon as he removed his hand, she went back to jiggling it again. It was something she did when she was nervous. She remembered how sore the muscles in her legs were in the evenings during Donald’s trial. That had been a lot of jiggling.
“Relax. It’s one prick. You love pricks,” he joked with a big grin. She smiled at his silly humor. It was one of the things she liked about him.
“Alyssa and Grayson?” the nurse called. Hearing their names said together threw her for a second. It sounded almost normal. She shook it off and followed Gray into the room.
The efficient lab tech gestured toward the chair and Gray made the same gesture to Alyssa.
“Ladies first,” he said as he came to stand next to her. The tech affixed the rubber cord on her bicep. Gray took her other hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “You won’t feel a thing,” he promised.
“I can feel the alcohol swab is very cold,” she challenged, knowing she was also going to feel the tiny pinch of the needle, followed by her body’s life fluid being sucked out of her for a futile examination. Or at least she hoped it was futile.
Gray leaned down and kissed her hard on the mouth at the exact same time the needle pierced her skin. She didn’t feel the needle, but she could tell it had happened. To her surprise, he kept kissing her until she felt the tech adhere a bandage and cotton ball to the inside of her elbow.
“All done,” he said, giving her a wink as they traded seats. “It wasn’t so bad was it?”
She shrugged. The kissing had been quite good.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to cook tonight,” she played it up with a wince, letting her arm fall limp at her side.
“I’ll take care of you,” he promised. She flinched at the promise. Years ago, someone else had made that promise.
“You two are so cute. How long have you been married?” the tech asked as she put a bandage on Gray’s arm.
“We’re not married. We aren’t even dating,” Alyssa told her. “I have better taste than this,” she joked, though only Gray laughed. The tech looked him up and down, probably not finding anything out of place.
Not that there was. He was perfect. At least for someone who was looking.
“You’ll hear back with the results by Friday. It says here we can call Mr. Hollinger with the results of both tests?”
“Sure, that’s fine,” Alyssa agreed. She was doing it for his benefit, though it was a good practice to have screening done periodically. And it hadn’t been that bad.
They held hands as they left the office.
It was no wonder the tech was confused. To anyone on the outside they looked like a happy couple.
“Thanks for forcing me to do that,” she said as they walked to work.
“I take offense to the word forcing. I didn’t force you. I asked and you reluctantly agreed.”
“Whichever. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” He leaned down and gave her a kiss when they were only a block away from work. Then they both let go of each other’s hands simultaneously.
So far he was respecting her wishes. He hadn’t asked her for anything she wasn’t willing to give. Except maybe the blood.
He was perfect.
He knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t want anyone to know about them. He knew what she liked in bed. He knew her favorite foods.
But there were plenty of things she didn’t know about him. How he was raised, what he did when he was alone, or the search history on his computer. She didn’t know this man. No one ever really knew another person. Not really.
Nothing ever stayed perfect for long.
Alyssa knew that.
* * * *
Gray missed the call from the doctor on Friday, but he got the message that everything was clear. With a little fist pump he tucked his phone back in his pocket.
“Good news?” Doug asked as he walked in Gray’s office and flopped in a chair.
“Yep.”
“You’re not the father?” he guessed.
“Something like that,” Gray said with a laugh.
“Going out tonight?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I haven’t checked with Liss yet.”
“I thought she wasn’t your girlfriend.”
“She isn’t.”
“Then you can go out without her.”
“I could, but I don’t want to. I like to go out with her.”
Doug shook his head.
“I’m not one to define a relationship. Lord knows I have no idea what to call the thing I have going on right now. But I’m pretty sure when you live with someone, have sex with them and enjoy going out with them, that is a girlfriend.”
“She’s a roommate, coworker, and friend.” That was what Alyssa was comfortable with and he was fine with that. It was obvious to him by this point that someone had hurt her. He didn’t know who or what that someone did, but she admitted she had trust issues.
The last thing she needed was for him to agree to a friends-only arrangement and then change the rules on her. She wouldn’t appreciate that.
Besides, he was learning a lot about himself. He’d jumped from one relationship to the next without ever taking the time to build a friendship first. Now that he was friends with Alyssa, he realized how important that step was.
Not that they were going to be in the relationship.
“Then can we go out tonight? There’s someone I’d like you to meet,” Doug asked.
“Can Liss come too?”
“See? That right there is a girlfriend,” Doug protested.
“No. It’s not.”
“Say it with me…girrrrl friennnnd.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Fine. You can bring your girlfriend who isn’t a girlfriend.”
Doug rolled his eyes and left Gray’s office mumbling about how much he hated Gray.
Liss stopped in before lunch.
“You hungry?” she asked. He raised his brows and tilted his head. “For food.” Damn.
“Yeah. I have time to grab something quick.” Though he wished it was her he was grabbing. And not quick.
“Doug wants us to go out with him tonight,” he said when they were out of the building, where it was safe to speak like regular people.
“I was going to make chicken nachos and watch Jason Statham blow shit up.”
“Ooh, that sounds fun too. We can do that before we go out.”
“Fine. I’m in. Maybe we can have sex before we leave. Can you do a British accent?”
“Top of the morning to ya.”
“Irish.”
“Right. G’day, mate.”
“Aussie.”
“Uh. By jove, I think I’ve got it.”
She stopped walking to look up at him with her brows pulled together.
“Let’s just stop this now before I’m so repulsed I can’t ever sleep with you again.” She yanked open the door to her favorite café and he preceded her inside, while fighting the urge to hold the door for her. She might not be his girlfriend, but she was still a woman and his father had ingrained certain manners in him.
He subtly pulled her chair out as the waitress brought water to the table. They ordered immediately and Liss frowned.
“That Wallace guy from mergers is over there with Martin’s executive assistant, Wendy.” Alyssa nodded in their direction.
“Ooh. Do you think they’re having an affair?”
“Not everyone who eats together is having sex, Gray.”
“We are.”
“Shh.” She glanced in their direction again as if they could hear the conversation from the other side of the room.
“They can’t hear us.”
“We can’t look like we’re talking about sex.”
“How does that look?” he wondered.
“I’m not sure, but it’s different. So, how is your day going? Are you ready for the meeting this afternoon?”
“You mean am I ready for a nap?”
She laughed and nodded.
“It would be more exciting if you let me sit next to you and spread your legs—”
“Knock it off. When we’re at work, I am just a coworker. When we’re at home, I’m your roommate. When I’m in your bed, I’m your lover. You have to keep this straight or everything is going to get messed up.”
“When we go out for drinks are you my girlfriend?” He didn’t know where the question had come from. He blamed Doug and his earlier dissertation.
She looked him dead in the face.
“I am never your girlfriend. Ever.”
Got it.
* * * *
Alyssa knew she probably went overboard with her declaration at lunch. But it was important he knew there could never be anything real between them.
He’d been quiet as they ate and on the way back to the office. In the lobby, she went to check on something with the front desk clerk so she wouldn’t have to ride up with him on the elevator.
This was work. It was important to keep it separate. She didn’t want people to think something was going on. She’d just gotten this promotion. If everyone knew she was with Gray, they’d think she’d slept her way to the top. Even though there were technically six other floors to the top. Still.
Her phone rang.
“Speak of sleeping their way to the top,” she said before answering. “Hey, Ken.”
Kenley Carmichael—now Kenley Jackson—used to work with her until she was fired and wrongly accused of sleeping with their boss’s husband. She moved to Connecticut where she did in fact end up sleeping with her boss who was now her husband.
“How are things?” she asked.
“Good. I got a promotion.”
“What? And you didn’t tell me? We need to celebrate.”
“Sure thing. Why don’t you roll yourself over here and we’ll throw back some shots.” Kenley was very pregnant.
“Maybe we’ll have to postpone until after my confinement.”
Alyssa laughed at the historical reference. Though it was an apt description, considering Zane didn’t want her to do anything that could possibly hurt her or the baby. Like standing for more than ten minutes or walking.
“Zane is still being a worry wart?”
“He moved the yogurt from the bottom drawer to the top shelf so I won’t have to bend to get it.” She let out a sigh. “But the nightly foot rubs are nice.”
“Hmm. Foot rubs, huh? Maybe I would get knocked up if it meant foot rubs.”
“Really?”
“No. Not happening.” They laughed together. They might have started out doing the same thing for Hasher Borne, but their lives had taken way different paths.
Kenley was married with a baby on the way, living in suburbia with her flannel-wearing husband. And Alyssa was still in the city, trying her best not to get attached to anyone.
“How’s the new place?” Kenley asked.
“The new place is good.”
“And the roommate? What did you decide?” There was a tone on that last word that hinted at her suspicions.
“We’re sleeping together.”
“I knew that was going to happen!”
“Yes. Yes. It was such a mystery. So I caved and we’re having sex. That is the extent of it. I’m so glad I didn’t listen to you. Gray is perfectly fine with how things are between us. He’s not expecting anything.”
“I see.”
“What do you see?”
“I see you’re happy.”
Damn people who knew her so well. Why did she talk to people?
“Gray is a lot of fun. We enjoy doing things together. It’s like being with you, but with a penis. So yeah, I’m happy.”
“I’ve been replaced by a penis?” Kenley gasped.
“You did it first, Mrs. Glass Houses.”
“Penises are handy to have around.”
“Truth. But this penis knows there’s no chance of us ending up together in some kind of happily-ever-after.”
“You know, you still never told me why you don’t want a happily-ever-after.” She’d never told anyone. The only person in her life who knew was her mother and they had silently agreed to never speak of it.
For a moment, Alyssa considered telling Kenley her story, but she wasn’t ready.
She couldn’t go there. She couldn’t dredge it all up.
“I can tell by the delay you are not going to tell me now.”
“No. I can’t.”
“That’s okay. You will when you’re ready, and I’ll be here to listen.”
She didn’t think she’d ever be ready.
* * * *
Due to a demonic formula haunting his client’s spreadsheet, Gray got home after Alyssa.
“Honey, I’m home!” he called.
She came out of the bathroom wearing the shorty shorts and tight T-shirt that drove him mad. She said they were comfortable, but he found them to be the opposite. Every time she wore them, his pants grew uncomfortably tight.
“Honey? Really?”
“It was a joke. Would you relax?” It wasn’t as if he could force her into a relationship.
“The last time you told me to relax was when you forced me to go to the doctor’s office.” Right. He’d forgotten about that.
“Since you insisted on keeping it all business at lunch, I didn’t get a chance to tell you earlier. I heard back from the doctor’s office today with the results from the screening.”
“And you couldn’t find a way to fit it in the conversation?” Alyssa put her hand on her hip.
“Apparently, you have bitchy blood. The symptoms include using sarcasm to keep people at bay.”
“Wow. That was some test,” she said as she popped the cap off a beer and handed it to him. “To bitchy blood and the fact that it’s Friday,” she toasted as she tapped her bottle to his.
“Other than being bitchy, your blood was perfectly fine. So was mine.” He leaned down to kiss her neck, right under her ear. It was one of his favorite places to put his lips. He could smell her vanilla-scented hair and feel her heart beating.
The beer wasn’t the thing he wanted.
In one quick movement, he pulled her shirt over her head and began walking her backward down the hall to her room.
He unhooked her bra and let her shorts slide down over her hips. No panties. He moaned at this development. Normally he was quite fond of panties, but for some reason finding none was wicked hot.
She climbed back on the bed and he followed as soon as he got his own clothes off.
Kissing his way down between her breasts, he stopped to suck each of her nipples before continuing on his journey. After circling her navel with his tongue he moved lower, and lower until—
“You don’t have to do that,” Alyssa said as she shifted to get away.
“I know I don’t have to. I want to. It’s a perk of passing your test.” He smiled up at her and ducked down again, only to have her squirm away.
“You really don’t need to.”
“What’s the problem here? I said I want to.”
“I just don’t…do that.”
“Why not?” he asked, not moving from his position between her legs. She was always rather adventurous when it came to sex. He didn’t understand the hang up.
She let out a sigh and looked up at the ceiling, no doubt realizing they weren’t going any further until this was discussed.
“Wait. Are you one of those girls who sees it as a chore?”
“Probably because guys always seem to act like it is. Then they take a two-second pass and expect to have a parade thrown in their honor.”
“I’m sure some guys are like that. I’m not one of them. I assure you, you will want to throw a parade when I’m done.”
“It doesn’t really do anything for me,” she admitted.
“How is that possible?”
She shrugged instead of answering while she continued to wiggle away.
“Have you ever explored this with a guy? Like, tried different stuff. Mapped out what you like and don’t like?” he pushed, wanting to get to the bottom of this mystery.
She shook her head quickly and looked up at the ceiling.
“Okay, then let’s figure this out,” he suggested with a big grin.
“How about if I do you instead?” She started to sit up and move away. Gray thought maybe there was something else going on, although he had to admit her offer did make him throb.
“You can’t accept pleasure from someone without reciprocating?” He raised a brow at her.
Her lack of an answer told him everything he needed to know. He was right. She didn’t want it to be about her, and most guys were okay to let her bow out of the spotlight. Gray wasn’t.
“We can either do what I want to do, or I’m taking my toy and going back to my room,” he teased, hoping a joke would make her less tense.
“Why do you care so much?” she balked. “I’m giving you a free pass.”
“You might have been with guys who just wanted to get off as quickly as possible, but we’re not all like that. Some of us think it’s hot when the woman gets off too.”
She let out a sigh of annoyance.
“I don’t think I can relax enough,” she confessed.
“Do you trust me, Liss?”
“Trust? Really?” she complained. “No. You know I don’t trust anyone.”
“I don’t mean with big emotional stuff, I mean with this.” He nodded down in the general area.
“I don’t know.” Her answer was more of a whine.
“Haven’t you liked everything I’ve done so far?”
“I guess so.”
“Will you trust me with this? It will be fun. Give me ten minutes and if you’re not into it, we’ll move on.”
“Do you have a timer?”
“There’s one on my phone.” He pointed at the nightstand, knowing she wouldn’t actually use it.
“Proceed,” she said stiffly while squeezing her eyes closed.
Gray laughed and shook his head. It would appear he had his work cut out for him.
He was up for the challenge.