Chapter 27
“How’s San Diego?” Trent asked.
“Great,” Grayson said with an enthusiasm he desperately wished were real.
“You sound so convincing.”
Gray should have known better than to try to lie to Trent.
“Tiff and I stopped by to see her.”
“How is she?” Gray asked right away. Izabelle had refused to share information with him, calling it juvenile and unhealthy.
“She’s good, I guess. She and Tiff talked about wedding shit. Liss is coming to the wedding. Are you okay with that?”
“Of course,” he snorted. It was only August, by the following June, he would be okay with it. He hoped so anyway. The pain was still as strong as it had been when he left. “Is she seeing anyone?”
“I don’t know. Tiff didn’t say.” Gray wanted to reach through the phone and strangle his best friend for not asking the right questions.
“Did she find a roommate?”
“I don’t think so. Tiff said she was packing.”
“Packing? Where is she going?”
“I don’t know. Why don’t you call her and ask?”
“Because I don’t care.” He was certain if he said it enough times eventually it would be true.
“Right. Maybe you need to move on.”
“That’s great advice coming from someone who’s getting married.”
“If you felt for Alyssa the way I feel about Tiff, no way would you have just split,” Trent said.
“What if Tiff didn’t want you? What would you have done then?”
“I would have convinced her that she did want me.”
“Whatever. I have to go.”
Grayson hadn’t so much as gone to a bar in San Diego. He didn’t want to hook up with some random woman in an effort to get rid of the pain in his heart. He knew it wouldn’t work. He only wanted Alyssa. He would only ever want her.
He had made a few friends at the new office, but they were all happily married with kids. Something he couldn’t handle quite yet. He still wanted that life.
Doug had called next. With his expenses reduced, he could now afford a new phone. Apparently, he was also able to afford a diamond ring.
“I want to be ready, you know? I want to give us plenty of time to get to know each other better. I don’t want to rush into it, but I got the ring so I’d be ready when the time was right.”
“Good for you.”
“And you’ll come back for our wedding? If she says yes?”
“She’ll say yes, and of course, I’ll be there.”
“Good.” He stalled for a moment, and Gray thought he probably knew why.
“What is it?”
“Liss.”
“I don’t want to talk about her, Doug. I can’t handle it right now.” Or ever. It hurt too much.
“Fine. Take care of yourself out there.”
“Good luck on the proposal.”
All of his friends were getting their happily-ever-afters.
Pissed off at the world, he got dressed and went out.
After a few drinks, Gray flipped through his phone, looking at the photos of Alyssa smiling and laughing as they lay in his bed. They’d been so happy in the photo. They had no clue how bad things were going to turn out.
He pulled up her name and let his thumb hover over the “call” button.
What would he say if she answered?
He put the phone away and ordered another beer.
* * * *
Alyssa stood outside the prison taking in the sturdiness of the building. She’d been standing in the parking lot for nearly twenty minutes and hadn’t come any closer to going inside.
Gray had come here to do the same thing once. At least he made it inside and filled out the paperwork.
Alyssa could only stand there waiting for something to feel right about this.
When she told Dr. Drenner about how Grayson thought she needed closure, the doctor agreed to a point. She said Alyssa needed to find a way of letting go and ending the relationship. Apparently, she’d been so busy piling on guilt and reeling from the pain Donnie had caused those other women that she hadn’t dealt with her portion of that grief.
The end of a relationship that was based in lies seemed insignificant to being attacked. Her heartbreak was a small thing. Unfortunately, that small thing had festered.
“I need to say good-bye. I need to end this officially.”
She took two steps toward the prison and stopped once again. Only this time, she realized why. The Donnie she loved and lost was not the man in this building. She knew at the trial that her Donnie was gone forever.
She got back in the car and drove to Thorndon Park. She pulled in near the rose garden and got out without hesitation. There were still some varieties of roses blooming, and she walked straight for the bench where her life had been changed the first time.
With a breath, she sat down and looked out at the view with splashes of colors.
This was where Donnie had proposed. Where he promised he’d love her for the rest of their lives. She remembered the feeling of safety those words brought her. From that moment on, she would no longer be facing the world alone. She’d always have someone next to her.
At the trial, as her world crumbled, she’d been tossed back into that loneliness again.
“If you had died, I would have mourned for you. I would have hurt for you, and I would have moved on. It would have been better if you had died,” she whispered. “You’re not worth mourning for, or hurting over. You’re just nothing. It’s like you were never real.”
She let out a sigh and looked up at the perfect blue sky.
“I’m done. I’m moving on.”
With a deep cleansing breath, she got up and walked to the rental car.
She was exorcising all her demons today, and there was another stop she needed to make.