Chapter 9
Chanda tossed a lump of clay aside and frowned at the line she’d just created. It wasn’t the way she’d seen it in her head. She lifted her ribbon tool to take another try when her phone vibrated.
She wiped her hands and answered, seeing Doug’s name on the display.
“Hello?”
“Hi.” She could hear the familiar sounds of the bar in the background. “You’re not working tonight.”
“No. I have the night off.”
“That’s nice.” She smiled at his words. One of the things she enjoyed about Doug was the way he didn’t know how to be a player. He was honest to a fault.
“Is it?” she teased.
“Of course. It’s nice for you. I’m sure you’re enjoying your time off. Are you sculpting?”
“Yes.”
“Good for you.”
“What are you up to?”
“I came to see you at the bar. Now I’m trying to figure out how I might get an invite to come watch you sculpt.”
“Watch me sculpt?” She laughed, assuming that was not what he really wanted to do. Maybe he was a player after all.
“Yeah. I saw your art when I was at your place, but I don’t know how it works. I’d like to see you making it.”
“Are you for real?”
She heard him sigh.
“You probably don’t like people watching you. I get that. Would you like to get breakfast on Sunday morning?”
He was serious. She could tell. He actually wanted to watch her work.
“Come over. I’ll show you my stuff.”
“You’re sure? I don’t want to mess up your mojo or anything.”
“I don’t think you will. Maybe you’ll even inspire me.” He laughed at that and with a “see you soon,” he hung up. Chanda put her phone down and drew the perfect contour through the clay. He already inspired her.
It didn’t take him long to get to her place. He smiled when she opened the door. He kissed her and she smiled back.
“So what are you working on?” he asked, genuinely interested.
She showed him her drawing and what she had so far.
“It doesn’t always turn out like the drawing. I sketch it out as a guide, but then as I’m sculpting, I sometimes deviate if the clay wants to go in a different direction.”
“Can I try?” he asked.
“You want to help?” She looked at her project with worry.
“No. I don’t want to touch that. That’s yours.” He looked over to the pile of clay. “Maybe I could work on something of my own. Something way smaller.” He shrugged.
“Why would you want to sculpt?”
“My ex-wife accused me of not taking an interest in her hobbies. To be honest, I’m not even sure what they were besides spending all my money on shoes and fighting with her mother. But I do understand what she meant, and while this is more than just a hobby to you, I find I’m very interested in it. Mostly because I can tell how much you love it when you talk about it and I want to see why. But I’d also like to have something we could do together. Besides…well…I’m not saying we’re going to do that again, but… I mean…I hope we will…if not, that’s okay.”
“Doug, go cut off a lump of clay and put it on this board.”
“Excellent.”
Doug definitely wasn’t a player. He was a refreshing change from the guys she normally dated. And he wanted to share in her love of art. No one had ever suggested such a thing. She found herself hoping he liked it.
* * * *
An hour later, Doug was filthy. He had clay in his hair as well as on his shoes and—thanks to her pulling him close to kiss him—he had clay down the back of his shirt. But he’d never had more fun than he had while making his little sculpture and laughing with Chanda.
“You’re sure it doesn’t have to look like anything recognizable.”
“I’m sure. It just has to look like what you see it being.”
“I think you hang out with Mac too much. I don’t know what either of you are saying half the time.”
She laughed at his joke and he smiled. He couldn’t remember a time he’d smiled so much that didn’t involve his daughter.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” he asked casually as he used one of the wooden tools to carve an indentation into his piece of art.
“Tomorrow is Saturday. Don’t you have Lucy?” He’d explained how he only had his daughter one day a week, and how he couldn’t keep her overnight because she didn’t have her own room at his apartment. He didn’t want to hide anything from Chanda. She already knew he was just a regular guy. And for some reason she seemed to like him the way he was. He didn’t get it.
“Yes. I’m thinking it would be nice to take her to the Met. Would you like to go? Maybe you could give us the inside scoop on some of the art.”
“You want me to meet your daughter?”
“Would that be a problem?”
“That’s kind of serious isn’t it? Would I be Aunt Chanda, her father’s friend?”
“No. You would be just Chanda. And you are her father’s friend. But if you want to call yourself my girlfriend, I’d be okay with that too.” Very okay. Though he wouldn’t push for that. He would only hope.
They had a wonderful time at the museum. Lucy was sleeping heavily in his arms as he carried her into Julie’s house that night. Chanda waited with the cab, but that didn’t keep Julie from noticing her.
“Who’s that?”
“Chanda.”
“Chanda?” Julie sniffed and Doug fought the urge to defend his girlfriend. Julie was a miserable person who wanted him to pay for his failure to make her happy. There was no reason to stoop to her level. “She looks like trash.” Or maybe there was.
“She’s a great person, and Lucy loves her.” It was evident by Julie’s reaction that he’d said the wrong thing. He hadn’t said it to antagonize his ex-wife—he did that just by breathing—but because it was true. Chanda was fun and Lucy couldn’t get enough of her.
He should have known Julie was too quiet about the situation. Her normal response was to yell until he apologized. She didn’t do that this time, but he realized it was only because she was too angry to even yell. Instead, she was seething.
The call came the next afternoon around three.
“Doug Phillips. How can I help—” His greeting was cut off by the sound of his daughter’s crying in the background. “Hello? Julie? What’s wrong with Lucy?”
He heard a door close and the crying was now muffled.
“She’s in a timeout because she decided to give herself tattoos today. She said she wanted to be like Chanda.”
This was not good, but not the end of the world.
“Don’t they come off with rubbing alcohol? She’s had them before at your sister’s house.”
“She didn’t use temporary tattoos, Doug. She used permanent markers.”
“Oh crap.”
“This morning when she got up the first thing she asked me was if she could get her nose pierced for her birthday.”
Double crap.
“I don’t want my daughter exposed to this…this sleazy woman who looks like a wannabe rock star. Either you keep her away from Lucy or I’ll contact child services and tell them I don’t think you’re helping to raise your daughter in a nurturing environment.”
“Julie, I only have one day with Lucy. Are you really going to try to take that too?”
“I’m doing what’s best for my daughter.” No, she was punishing Doug and Lucy for liking someone more than they liked her.
Rather than risk a battle with child services, Doug agreed to her ridiculous conditions.
* * * *
After a few more nights of needing to sleep with Gray, Alyssa was finally able to make it through the night in her own bed. She couldn’t believe she’d asked to stay in his bed like a little kid, but she slept so much better. She hated the nightmares and had downplayed the frequency, not wanting him to think she was crazy.
“I made it all night without a nightmare,” she said in the morning when she came out for breakfast.
“Good for you.” To her surprise, Grayson seemed disappointed by this.
She had to admit, at least to herself, that she had missed sleeping in his arms. A few times she thought she felt his lips by her ear, and she felt safe.
“I’m sorry I bothered you,” she said, embarrassed.
“Don’t worry about it. If I had a nickel for each time Trent needed to come to my room to snuggle, I wouldn’t need to go to work right now,” he joked it off. “Today’s the day?”
“Yes. Martin said they would make their decision on Wednesday.”
“Good luck. I’m sure they’ll pick you. You’re the best choice.”
“You don’t even know what kind of job I’d do.”
“Right, but I know you’d be the best at it.”
“Thanks.”
“I’m going to gym tonight, so I’ll be late.”
“Okay. I’m making pork chops for dinner.”
“Sounds good. Have a great day,” he said with a smile.
“You too.” As he closed the door behind him, she couldn’t help but think the only things missing were the kiss goodbye and the wedding bands.
They sounded like a married couple. She laughed it off.
Fortunately, she knew it wasn’t real. Despite the few times she found herself wanting to kiss him, she had held her ground on the just-friends thing.
She’d had her doubts about their living arrangement, but so far it was working. And if it stopped working because he got too attached, she would be ready to bolt.
She picked her most professional outfit in case it came down to who looked the part.
Freddie and Mia greeted her when she got to the office.
“I’m not sure how to feel today. I mean, I want the best for you, which is for you to get the job. But I want the best for me, which is for you to stay here. You see my dilemma?” Mia frowned.
“I understand. You know I will only be moving up a few floors. I can still come down here for lunch sometimes.”
“I’m changing my wish so you’ll get the job and I’ll stop being selfish.” Freddie blew her a kiss and went to his desk.
“I don’t care what floor you work on. We will still get together for drinks sometimes.”
“Definitely.” Alyssa only then realized how long it had been since she’d gone out with Mia. She’d been spending all her time with Gray.
She needed to fix that before he got the wrong idea.
Alyssa didn’t get the call on Wednesday. She’d tried to gain some distance with Grayson, but he didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he came into her room to talk to her, even sitting on her bed for an hour while they discussed the guy at his gym who made sex sounds when he lifted weights.
She didn’t hear anything on Thursday either. And Grayson seemed off that night when he got home. He didn’t sing in the shower, or make any jokes about her getting in the kitchen and making him a pie, like he normally did when it was her night to cook.
“Bad day?” she asked.
“Not really.”
“Do you not like sesame chicken?” she pushed. He’d only eaten one piece with two beers. Not that she was counting.
“I guess I’m not that hungry.”
Red flags were going up everywhere. A man who was not hungry was a man with a problem. Everyone knew that.
She decided to back off, since he didn’t seem to want to talk about it, and because they were only roommates. This meant her responsibility ended with paying the rent, not making him happy. Although she would have tried if she’d known how.
Then she wondered if this wasn’t about him at all.
“It’s the job? You heard they hired someone and you don’t want to tell me?” she accused after storming into his room without knocking.
“No. I haven’t heard anything. I’d tell you. I swear. I told you not to worry about it. They never do anything on time. I doubt you’ll hear anything until next week.” She nodded. It did seem like Martin moved at his own pace. As if he owned the place or something.
As the night went on, Gray seemed a little better. He wished her a good night as they passed in the hallway.
She took a deep breath as she got into bed, hoping for another night free of nightmares. As she reached for the light by the bed, there was a knock at the door and her heart rate kicked up.
“Yeah?” she called.
Gray poked his head inside.
“You got a minute? As a friend?” he asked.
“Okay.” She sat up, making sure the sheet was tucked around all the important parts. “What is it?”
“I need your advice.”
“On?”
“I let this girl move into my apartment. Smokin’ hot. Only we’re supposed to just be friends, which is great and I don’t want to mess it up. The problem is, I hadn’t considered the fact she would be walking around the apartment in shorty shorts and baby tees all the time with no bra. And since I’ve already had amazing sex with her multiple times, I know how great it is. So basically I have a perpetual hard-on so bad I’m light-headed from the lack of blood going to my brain.”
She snickered at his gush of information.
“So you want to find a way to ask her to stop wearing shorty shorts?” she assumed.
“Hell, no. I want you to tell me how I can renegotiate this friends-only thing so I can sleep with her again.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. She thought he was on board with this arrangement. He hadn’t so much as hinted at having sex with her since they moved in together. She needed him to be the stable one, because she was already faltering after seeing him without a shirt while he brushed his teeth this morning.
“Uh…well…” She tried to come up with an answer that would dissuade him from pursuing her, but the truth was, she wanted the same thing. “Give me a sec.”
She picked up her phone, her thumbs flying as she texted Kenley:
I want to have sex with Gray. Give me permission.
Gray leaned against the doorframe silently during the minute it took Kenley to respond:
You’re an adult. You don’t need my permission.
You seemed to think it was a bad idea. I’m not sure it would be a problem, Liss shot back.
The important thing is that you’re honest with each other. So no one has unrealistic expectations.
Good advice. Thanks. Alyssa could work with this.
“Maybe you should just be honest with her and see what she says. She might be feeling the same way about how you walk around without a shirt.”
“Honesty, huh? Okay. I’ll give that a try. Thanks.” He backed out of her room and shut the door, leaving her sitting there with a confused look on her face. Should she have specified that he should be honest right that minute?
Before she had time to think about it too long, there was another knock at the door.
“Yeah?” she said, trying to hide her anticipation.
“Hey,” he said as he walked into her room, now wearing jeans and no shirt. Good play.
“Hey.” She couldn’t help but smile at his change in demeanor. “What’s up?”
“Funny you should ask. I’m up, and I have been up all night. I want you. Bad. What would you say to adding some fun to our friendship? No strings, just fun.” He even wiggled his eyebrows for dramatic effect as he laid on the smarm.
She needed to make him work a little.
“Nah, I don’t think so.”
His expression was priceless. His mouth was actually hanging open. She couldn’t hold it in; she burst out laughing and he pounced on her, playfully holding her down and rubbing all over her with his bare chest.
“As long as you understand this is just about physical pleasure. No emotions.”
“I understand. Maybe we should have shook on that instead of trying to ignore our base instincts. I might be new to this whole not-getting-emotionally-attached thing, but I have to say, it seems like you’re doing it wrong.”
“This is what happens when you take sex advice from someone who was a virgin a year ago.”
“Are we doing this or chatting? I’m dying here. I’m going to walk around in nothing but a towel tomorrow,” he threatened, making her laugh.
“Okay, okay.” She started taking her clothes off, but he stopped her.
“What are you doing? You know I like to do that part,” he scolded.
“Sorry.”
“That’s one of the benefits of having sex with the same person. They know what you like,” he explained.
“Yes, Grayson,” she said, using his name because she knew he liked it.
“See? That’s hot.” He smiled down at her as he pulled her shorts off. “So tell me what you like.”
And just like that, this new plan was suddenly uncomfortable. She didn’t want him knowing things about her. Personal things. She’d already shared more with him than anyone else. Granted they couldn’t get much more personal than having sex, living together, and working together, but this was different.
It was the real her. She didn’t share the real her with anyone. Not anymore.
“I like getting to point B.”
“Right, but maybe you could expand on something to aid in that venture.”
“You do great. Just do what you normally do.”
“Come on. Throw me a bone.” He peeled off her tight shirt and latched onto one of her nipples.
“You’ve already got a bone. Are we doing this or are we chatting?” she repeated his early words.
“We’re doing it, but if you don’t get to point B because you’re bored of my same old moves, it’s not on me.”
“Fine. Just shut up already.”
“You’re so mean, I don’t know why I like you so much.” He chuckled as he rolled on the condom. Then he turned over to lie on his back with his hands propped casually behind his head.
“Seriously?” she complained.
“It was your idea, you should do the work.” He was beaming adorably.
“It was not my—you know what? Never mind.” She shook her head as she straddled him and slid down his length slowly, making him hiss through his teeth.
“Damn, you have the best ideas,” he praised her.
She didn’t laugh this time. She was too busy rocking up and down on him.
His hands rested on her hips, pulling her down, guiding her pace.
“You are so unbelievably gorgeous with your hair hanging down in my face like that,” he said.
She let her hair tickle his chest and purred his name at the same time. She was learning all the things he liked. It made her feel powerful.
He reached down between them to rub her as she moved. He touched her the way she needed. Apparently, he was picking up a few things too.
“Come on, baby,” he said as he watched her.
As if she worked on voice command, she responded, clenching around him and collapsing on his chest as the tremors took her over. Her hip was cramping slightly, but it wasn’t enough of a distraction to keep her from enjoying every mind-blowing spasm.
When her muscles relaxed, Grayson flipped her over in one move and began thrusting.
She moaned his name as her fingers clenched the sheets.
“Alyssa,” he said. “Look at me.”
She opened her eyes drowsily and let her fingers trail down his chest and stomach. She pushed off the bed to meet his next thrust and that threw him over the edge. His head went back and his eyes shut as he pushed in as far as he could possibly go. There was no room left.
He fell onto the bed next to her, breathing heavily. After a short time, he traced small circles along her ribs with his fingertips.
A few minutes later his breathing slowed back to normal.
“I’m so glad to be your friend, Liss,” he said, making her laugh.
“Are you going back to your own room now?” she asked as she made herself comfortable under the sheet.
“Do you want me to?”
“I don’t know. If we didn’t live together you would go home, right?”
“Not necessarily. I didn’t the first time at your place. I didn’t make you leave when you came here.”
“Do you want to snuggle?” She laughed at him. She didn’t want him to go. She liked sleeping next to him. He kept the bad dreams away.
“Would it be too much to ask for you to act like a girl sometimes?” he said, settling against her. Clearly he wasn’t leaving, so she cuddled up against him.
“Because girls like to snuggle? That’s a stereotype.”
“Most girls like to snuggle. I’m sure there’s been a study.”
“If I were like most girls, you wouldn’t have had to twist my arm to get me to move in here,” she pointed out.
“That’s true, but I want to stay and snuggle.”
“Was it so hard to just say that?”
“I guess not.” He kissed her hair.
“Gray?”
“Yeah?”
“We’re not together, okay? Like in a relationship. I don’t do relationships.” She wanted to make that very clear. The sex had been fun. Living with him was great. But she couldn’t take that next step. She didn’t want him to think they were on that path.
“Why is that?”
“I don’t do trust.”
“Right. That’s fine. I’m good with the snuggling and the sex and the sharing my home with you. I don’t need a label.”
“Thank you for understanding.”
“Good night, baby,” he whispered and she closed her eyes and let sleep claim her.
In the morning, Gray insisted they stop for coffee and walk to work together. She went along with it because she was just too relaxed to care. She’d been honest with him, and he seemed to get it. She was free to enjoy the sex and the roof over her head guilt-free.
It wasn’t until ten when she saw Martin Hasher’s name on her phone that she remembered the job that hadn’t been offered to her on Wednesday or Thursday.
“This is Alyssa Sinclair.”
“Hi Alyssa. Can you stop up?”
“Yes. I’m on my way.”
The whole way up in the elevator, she told herself this was a good sign. Surely they wouldn’t make her come all the way upstairs to tell her she didn’t get the job. That would be a waste of everyone’s time.
She saw Grayson as she walked to the office in the corner. His eyebrows went up, and then he smiled and gave her a thumbs-up. He must have thought it was a good sign as well.
Unlike the last time, she wasn’t made to wait in the sitting area. She was sent right in.
Mr. Borne and two women were sitting at the small conference table talking.
“Alyssa, thank you for coming. This is Megan, Director of Human Resources and Lindsey, Executive Account Manager.”
Liss smiled and nodded as she sat in the chair he’d gestured to.
“We’d like to offer you the position of account manager. These ladies will go over the details. Welcome to the executive floor.”
“Thank you for this opportunity.”
“Be at the meeting on Monday morning so I can introduce you to the rest of the staff.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
He left and she spent the next half hour filling out forms and having her mind boggled with instructions.
When she left, she looked around before sneaking into Grayson’s office and shutting the door behind her.
She let out a little squeal.
“I got the job!”
“Awesome. I knew it would be you. You were the best choice. You should have seen the other clowns they led in and out of here.” She laughed as he came closer and bent to kiss her.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m happy for you, so I’m kissing you in celebration.”
“We’re working.”
“Not at the moment. I’m on break.”
“We can’t do this at work.”
“We can’t even kiss behind a closed door? Come on. I did get you that nice job. I kind of think you owe me.” He smiled.
“I’m pretty sure those are the exact words they used on that sexual harassment video they made us all watch.”
“You’re accusing me of stealing my lines?”
She laughed.
“If you’re not going to play nice, get out of my office.”
She gave him a big kiss and opened the door.
“Thank you for believing in me,” she said.
“Thank you for believing in me too.”
She knew he wasn’t talking about work. He was talking about trusting him not to get attached. So far, he was living up to his end of the bargain. Maybe she could have her cake and eat it too.
It was Friday and she had gotten a promotion.
Life was good.