Chapter 18
Gray was singing in the shower, which always made Alyssa laugh.
Not that he had a bad singing voice, but the songs he chose to sing were amusing. Not many guys felt comfortable singing Adele at the top of their lungs, but Grayson was quite secure with his masculinity. And rightfully so.
He had insisted on taking her out for a drink, but she wasn’t really in the mood to worry with hair and makeup. She just wanted to be with Gray.
She had an idea, and quickly ran to the kitchen so she could get back to the bathroom before he finished the next verse of “Set Fire to the Rain.”
He jumped when she opened the shower curtain with two glasses of wine, and the singing abruptly cut off.
“What’s this?” He looked down at the drinks as her hair grew heavy with water.
“You wanted to celebrate by getting a drink, and I’d rather stay here, so it’s a compromise.”
With a big, beautiful grin he took his glass and held it up ceremoniously.
“To Alyssa Nicole Sinclair and her first account. May it be the first of many.”
They clicked their glasses together and drank down the wine.
“Drinking in the shower?” He chuckled as she took his glass and set them out on the vanity. “People might say we have a problem.”
She stepped closer letting her fingers trace the path of the water as it ran over his collarbone and continued down his chiseled abdomen.
“We might have a problem,” she said as her hand reached even lower. He began to stiffen in her grasp and she grinned. “Nope. We’re all good.”
He laughed and pulled her closer, pressing her back against the wall and leaning down to take her mouth captive. After a second of intense kissing he pulled back and looked down at her, his hair plastered to his head.
“Thank you for moving in with me, Liss.”
“Thanks for asking.”
He let out a sniff and ran his hand through his hair tossing extra water around the shower.
“I didn’t just ask. I begged you.”
“Same thing,” she said, giving him a naughty look. “Be careful or I’ll make you beg for something else.”
“I would gladly beg.” He stepped closer, pressing his lips to hers in a way that made her moan. “But something tells me I won’t have to.”
He was right.
They ended up oversleeping the next morning and had to throw their stuff in their suitcases and run out to the cab.
They boarded the train in silence. She took the seat by the window so he could hang one of his long legs out in the aisle. The other leg encroached over into her space, but she didn’t complain. He was definitely not a one-size-fits-all kind of guy, and for that she was glad.
She tapped her leg without realizing it until Gray laced his fingers through hers and pulled her hand to his lips, placing a light kiss on the back.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be? I mean, I’m going to another state to have a picnic with people who aren’t going to understand who the hell I am, and we’re not going to be able to explain it.”
“This again?” he sighed.
“I’m okay with not having a name for whatever this is, but I’m guessing your family is going to want more specifics,” she explained.
He let his head fall in her direction with a frown.
“You’re right. Do you want to ditch?” He was giving her an out, which was one of the reasons she wanted to do this for him more than anything. Because he never expected anything from her.
“No.” She shook her head and looked out the window. The truth was she wanted to meet his family. She wanted to meet the parents that had raised a guy who was so secure with who he was and what he wanted. She wondered if nurturing dripped off them.
Gray leaned down in his seat so he could kiss her cheek and speak softly into her ear.
“I would never ask you to lie, but I’m just saying it might be easier to let my mother assume whatever it is she wants rather than trying to explain it.”
“You’re probably right. Especially since, after adequate research, I’m still unable to find a suitable label.”
“Me either. What’s up with that?” He pulled away a little to look at her.
“I don’t know. Apparently, we are the only two people on the planet who have ever been content to enjoy friendship and sex without forcing it to be more.”
He nodded as he looked at the seat in front of him.
“I do worry I’m the weakest link. I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve always ended up in a committed relationship. I had good role models in that department, which you’ll see this weekend. My parents have always been happy together. I always assumed it was easy because they made it seem that way. I thought I’d get married and have a family—complete with the dog. I didn’t even consider another way. Not until you. I’m happy with you, Liss. I’m trying my best not to mess up what we have because it’s better than any of the actual relationships I’ve ever had. Even though we refuse to call it a relationship.”
“I think awareness is the key.” As it is for most things. “I’m nervous about meeting your family, even though I’ve been pretending it’s not a big deal. I want them to like me.” The truth just blurted out of her mouth.
“No pressure from me.”
“I know, but I still want them to like me. And if I were being honest, part of it is because I don’t want to make things difficult for you.”
“I appreciate that. My concern is more about them liking you more than me. Then at some point, when I show up alone or with someone else, I’ll be lectured for letting you get away.”
“Should I not be lovable?” She grinned at him innocently.
“Do you think you could manage that?” He looked down at her and laughed.
“Probably not. I’m afraid it’s not something I can control.”
“Just be yourself and I’ll deal with the fallout if it ever comes to that.”
“If?” Her brows creased.
“We have a pretty good thing going here, Liss. Haven’t you ever considered the possibility that we could just continue on indefinitely, growing old in this arrangement?”
“I guess I never thought about long term. That was kind of the whole point. That there was no pressure to make it work.”
“What do you think now?” he asked, his tone turning extremely serious.
“I assumed at some point, one of us would want more, and would move on in search of someone who could give them that.”
“Did you assume the person who would be moving on would be me?”
“Yeah.”
“Because you’re not able to heal?” he asked quietly. She nodded without looking at him. “I hope that’s not true. I can’t imagine how it was for you. I think about Jade, my last girlfriend, and I try to think of how it would feel to find out she’d committed some heinous crime. Even my girlfriend and best friend fooling around behind my back for years was not on that level of betrayal. I wish I could help.”
“Believe it or not, you are. You haven’t tried to push me into more than I was willing to give. It was the main reason I was reluctant to move in. But it’s working. At least it is for me.” She glanced up at him asking a silent question. Maybe this wasn’t working for him.
“I’m not looking to make any changes. I know it’s weird, but I feel safer with you than anyone else I’ve been in an official committed relationship with. Maybe it’s like you said, there’s no pressure in having to keep it together.” He laughed as if surprised by this information. Alyssa felt herself relax. He wasn’t holding out hope that she’d wake up and ask him to go steady.
“Then there’s nothing to worry about,” she said with a little snort. Ever since that icy afternoon when the cops shoved Donnie up against the cruiser and cuffed him, she had done nothing but worry. She hadn’t realized it had gone on so long.
“Nothing at all.”
They spent the rest of the trip sharing ear buds and listening to Alyssa’s iPod. Occasionally, Gray would sing to her, making her giggle. She smacked him in the shoulder to make him quiet down before the other passengers complained.
He kept hold of her hand the whole time. She loved the way his thumb moved absently against her skin, and how he put the back of her hand to his lips every once in a while. He probably didn’t even realize he was doing it.
At some point, she dozed off and woke with her head on Gray’s shoulder as the train slowed and pulled into a station.
“We’re the next stop. You might want to gather up your stuff,” he suggested. “Make sure to pack your things safely. I’m not liable for anything broken or damaged when my mother grabs hold of you in a big hug and won’t let go.”
“How will I breathe?” she played along.
“I’ll give you mouth-to-mouth.” He threw her his sexy wink, which never ceased to make her heart skip a beat.
When they pulled into the next station, Alyssa immediately surveyed the crowd, hoping to pick them out so she could mentally prepare.
“Over here,” Gray said, pointing to a graying woman with a happy face.
“Grayson!” she yelled, as they walked down the steps from the train platform toward the waving woman. “You must be Alyssa! Grayson has told us so much about you.” Alyssa wasn’t sure when this big information download had occurred, since she rarely heard Gray on the phone with his mother.
The woman latched on and squeezed. When Alyssa first saw Mrs. Hollinger, she was sure she’d be able to fend the woman off if need be. Gray’s mother was in her fifties. Not frail by any means, but not huge either. From behind his mother’s back, she gave Grayson a worried glance. Fortunately, Mrs. Hollinger released Alyssa before the lack of air could become a serious issue.
“It’s so nice to meet you, Mrs. Hollinger, Mr. Hollinger.” Alyssa nodded to each of them.
“Please. Call me Linda and everyone calls him Holly,” she gestured toward the more reserved Mr. Grayson Hollinger II. “Let’s get you home and unpacked. Then we’ll have dinner,” Mrs. Hollinger went on as they all walked to their SUV. “Izabelle isn’t here yet. She was going to stay tonight, but she had an emergency with a patient so she’s coming home tomorrow afternoon. Alyssa, do you have any food allergies, hon?”
“No, ma’am.”
“That’s good. Remember that guy Izzy brought to the picnic last year who couldn’t be near peanuts?” Gray’s mother twisted around in her seat to keep talking as Mr. Hollinger pulled out of the parking lot.
Alyssa reached across the seat and took Gray’s hand. Whether it was meant to mislead the woman who was yammering on, or for comfort, Alyssa just knew she felt better when she was holding his hand.
“Mom, lots of people have peanut allergies. It’s not that uncommon.”
“But we had to tell great Aunt Rita she couldn’t bring her peanut butter pie and then two months later, she was dead.”
“Linda, I don’t think it had anything to with the pie. It was probably the pack-a-day habit she’d had for the last forty-some years that did it. People can’t die from an insult,” Mr. Hollinger said giving Alyssa a wink in the rear view mirror.
“So, Grayson said you aren’t dating,” Mrs. Hollinger changed the subject while glancing at their fingers laced together on the seat between them. “Will you want separate rooms or how does this work? Back when I was dating your father, we called it dating so no one got confused. Now there are all these other levels that I just don’t have time to decipher.”
“We’ll share my room,” Gray said easily while Alyssa looked anywhere but at Mrs. Hollinger as her cheeks flushed.
“Maybe your sister will be able to make me one of her flow charts or something so I can tell how many steps away I am from having grandchildren,” she said while shaking her head.
“Linda,” Mr. Hollinger said, frowning at her.
“Sorry. No pressure. I’m not supposed to put pressure on anyone,” she said with a bit of a huff. “No one cares about the pressure I’m under.” The last sentence was muttered more to herself.
“It’s okay, Mom. I don’t feel pressured no matter how much you talk about grandchildren. Just so long as you know it’s not going to happen.” Gray leaned up and patted her shoulder.
“Jill Henderson is going to be a grandmother in two months. Jeremy is a year younger than you.”
“Good for Jeremy. I’m happy for him and Mrs. Henderson.”
“It wouldn’t be so bad if your sister would cooperate. I just don’t know where we went wrong. I don’t know why you both seem to reject the idea of marriage and family so much. Were we bad parents?”
“No. You are the best parents anyone could ever have. You set the bar too high for Iz and me. We’re never going to be as good as you, so why even bother?”
“Don’t think for one minute I’m buying that.” She shook her head making Gray snort a laugh and Mr. Hollinger smile.
Alyssa was enthralled with his family already.
* * * *
Gray relaxed as soon as Alyssa survived the hug. He knew everything would be fine.
“So what’s really going on?” his dad asked when Alyssa and his mother were laughing in the kitchen.
“What do you mean?” Gray tried to evade the question, but he knew it was futile with his father. He was too observant.
“The girl. She doesn’t look like a call girl you hired to make it look like you had a girlfriend.”
Gray laughed with his father who had obviously been joking.
“She’s not a call girl.”
“Then what is she?”
“Does it matter?” Gray asked.
“It matters if the reason you’re not telling me is because you don’t know.”
“I do know.”
“Fine.” He put up his hands. “That’s all that matters.”
Gray took a moment. His father was letting him off the hook. He wasn’t sure he wanted to be off the hook yet.
“I’m not sure,” he admitted quietly, glancing toward the door. “We agreed we weren’t in a relationship. We are both busy with work.”
“And have too many excuses,” his father interrupted, his eyebrows mashed together.
“Maybe. We’re happy with whatever we are. We talked about it a little bit on the way here.”
“Just keep an open mind. I’d hate to see you miss out on a good thing because you were too stubborn to change your initial plan.”
Gray wasn’t worried as much about his open mind. He was more concerned about his open heart. For the first time in his life he wasn’t worried about being hurt by someone cheating on him. His concerns now were that he would be hurt because the woman he cared about didn’t return his feelings.
“We’ll see what happens,” he told his father as they went back to the kitchen to check on the women.
“Isn’t she the cutest thing?” his mom crooned when they stepped through the doorway. “I love her to pieces, Grayson. You’d better not mess this up for me.” He could tell his mother was only half joking.
After a quiet dinner at home, they played cards and went to his room.
“So how much do you want to run away right now?” he asked Alyssa as she slid into bed next to him.
“I don’t. I had a lot of fun. Your dad was so cheating at cards.”
“I know.” They laughed together.
“I think your mother expects something.”
“Let her.” He shrugged it off.
“Thanks for inviting me.”
“You’re very welcome. I’m glad you’re here.”
Late the next morning, Izabelle arrived. For the next two hours, Alyssa was grilled with questions disguised as get-to-know-you conversation while they got ready for the picnic.
The guests started arriving at noon, which meant Alyssa was released from his mother and sister so they could interrogate the new arrivals.
“Let’s go hide,” Grayson suggested as he tugged her off to the far corners of the backyard.
“You have a huge family.”
“Yeah. I know my aunts and uncles and first cousins. When we get to their kids, I’m not a hundred percent sure who belongs to whom.”
“I don’t even have a cousin.” She shrugged.
“Wow.” He wasn’t sure if he felt bad or envied her. “I have plenty. Help yourself.” He held his hands out wide, indicating she could have her pick.
“What about your sister? I always wanted a sister.”
“You want Iz? I don’t know. She kind of keeps my head on straight.”
“Because she’s a psychiatrist?”
“No, because she’s my big sister.”
“…and Grayson and his girlfriend are here.” Gray could see his mother scanning the crowd. “Grayson!” she called when they were spotted.
“It was good while it lasted.” He leaned down and pecked her lips. “I guess we need to mingle.”
At some point during the picnic, Gray and Alyssa became separated. She seemed to be doing all right on her own as she laughed with his aunt, so Gray stayed clear of the women. Instead he went back inside to get another helping of potato salad and a brownie.
“She doesn’t seem that bad,” Izzy said, sneaking up behind him.
“She isn’t.”
“I expected her to be a train wreck.” She stole the brownie off his plate.
“Sorry to disappoint.” He frowned, taking the brownie back and shoving it in his mouth so she couldn’t have it. It was a timeless strategy.
“I guess so.” She pouted. “What are you going to do about the other issue?”
“What issue?” he mumbled with his mouth full of brownie.
“The guy in prison,” she said flatly, implying he was dense.
“I don’t see how there’s anything I can do. I can’t make the guy tell the truth, especially when the State of New York already failed.”
“Maybe time has helped him remember the facts more clearly.”
“Have you ever known anyone to remember something better over time?”
“It happens. I’m just saying she might not be able to move on with you if she never ends things with him. That would be a shame because I like her.”
Gray looked down at his plate of potato salad and found it suddenly unappealing.
“I’m going to go save Alyssa from Dad and his friends.”
He left his sister—and her prophecy of doom—to stand next to Uncle Jack. His dad was finishing the story of how he caught a marlin off the coast of Cabo–a story that became more riveting every time he told it, as fish stories often do.
“Wow. That is very cool, Mr. Hollinger,” Alyssa said with wide eyes as she passed back his phone with the photo. “It’s huge.”
His father smiled at Alyssa. “Please call me Holly. At least until you start calling me Dad.”
Gray’s heart stopped for a second as he waited for Alyssa’s response. He didn’t know how she might react. Would she make a scene, denouncing him loudly so everyone knew they were only pretending to be in a relationship? Or would she walk away upset?
She didn’t do any of those things.
Her eyes widened in surprise and then happiness beamed out of her like the light from the sun when it crests the horizon. She swallowed and gave him a little nod as if it was not a big deal, but Gray could see the way it had affected her.
She’d never had a father before, and the thought of one day being able to call someone Dad seemed to make her happy. Gray found himself liking the idea of sharing his father with Alyssa, on some level anyway.
They hung out with his family all day. When it was dark, and the crowd had dispersed, Alyssa helped them clean up.
“Do you want to get out of here for a while?” Gray asked as he tugged on the bottom of her shirt to get her attention. It was a little after ten.
“Sure.”
They hopped in his mother’s car and he pulled out heading down the road without a route planned. He just turned from street to street, occasionally mentioning a landmark here and there.
“And this is where my sack-of-shit, ex-best friend lives with my whore of an ex-girlfriend and their spawn,” he said, pointing to a small house with a fence around the property. He may have sounded a little bitter.
“Wait, they’re still together?” Alyssa asked.
“Yeah. Maybe I didn’t tell you the whole story.” He knew he hadn’t. He hated the ending.
“Maybe you didn’t.”
“I told you I only found out about them when I was a junior in college.”
“Right.”
“The way I found out was rather upsetting.” He took a breath and went for it. “When I came home at spring break in March she was about five months pregnant. I hadn’t been home since August.”
Alyssa’s eyes went wide.
“Was she showing?”
“Yep.” The memory of that betrayal caught in his throat for a second until he was able to choke it down.
“And then she told you whose it was?”
“Yes.”
“And then what did you do?” she asked, as riveted by the story as if it had a marlin in it.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“What was I supposed to do? Beat him up? He was going to be a dad. I couldn’t beat up someone’s dad,” he said while shaking his head at the absurdity.
“And they’re still married?” She looked over her shoulder at their house as he continued on slowly down the street. They moved out of the residential area and were passing a strip mall.
“Yeah. From what I’ve heard, they’re both miserable. I’m not going to lie; it amuses me. It seems fitting, I guess.”
“But you never got to be angry at them.”
He shrugged. He’d been plenty angry. He just never yelled at them. He’d played it cool, like he didn’t even care. But he’d cared.
“What’s the point?” he said, shrugging it off.
“Pull into the parking lot here. I need to get something.” Alyssa pointed at the grocery store in the strip mall.
Gray did as she asked and she jumped out of the car before he even put it in park.
“I’ll be right back. Wait here.”