Chapter 3
The two of us went our separate ways, much to my dissatisfaction. As much as I’d hoped that he might reconsider if I loved him good enough throughout the rest of the night, it didn’t look like I was going to have much luck in that regard, and so I would have to simply let the night in question linger on as a happy memory.
It had been pretty damn encouraging for my self-esteem, if nothing else, after all…
The morning after, following a night of having sex at least four times (we engaged in quite a bit of non-penetrative stuff in between, as well) I awoke to find him gone from the bed beside me. I placed my hand on the spot where he’d lain, and my eyes went to the door of the bathroom, behind which I could hear the water of the shower streaming.
Then my eyes fell onto his jeans, discarded in the corner…
I bit my lip, not wanting to go too far, yet my curiosity got the best of me. I crept over to the discarded pants, and slipped out his wallet. I opened it up to see what his full name was on his driver’s license, Raymond Miller. I thought probably that this one violation of his privacy was more than enough, so I resisted the temptation to inspect his billfold’s other contents, as much as it nagged at me.
However, when I was slipping it back into place, I did happen to take note of his cell phone tucked away in the opposite pocket of his jeans, and that was one temptation I could not force myself to resist.
I didn’t intend to spy on him, or anything like that, but I wanted to make sure he had a chance to get in touch with me again, in the hopeful event that he changed his mind about wanting to reunite later on down the road.
I added myself to his contact list, typing in my name and number, doing my damnedest to avoid looking at the other names in his directory as I did so. Then I slid the phone back into the pocket and hurried away, fleeing the scene of the crime.
I made my way naked back over to the bed, picking up my scattered clothes from around the room, and moving to get dressed. I’d just managed to wriggle back up into my panties, when suddenly the bathroom door had opened, and out came Ray, his perfect, naked body now dripping with water, and the temptation was entirely too powerful for me to resist.
Still wet, he hurled me onto the bed and whipped me right back out of my panties, and the two of us went at it like hell one final time before going our separate ways.
And God… Even if the two of us never saw one another again, I felt as though the hot, steamy memories of that night of unbridled passion would almost surely last a lifetime.
Over the next week, I kept checking my phone desperately, hoping for any word or sign of life or interest from Ray. It actually became quite the obsession after a while, the notion that I might miss his message preoccupying me, so that no matter what I was doing I would scramble for the phone, hurrying to check my texts.
But alas, every damn time, I found myself coming back down to earth hard as hell, disappointed, quickly giving up hope.
He wasn’t going to text me, goddamn it… I was deluding myself, plain and simple, and I needed to get back to my life and forget about him.
It was true, I could always go back to the bar and wait for him there, I supposed… But I thought, fuck that… If he wanted to be with me, he knew damn well how to get in touch. I wasn’t going to just wait around for him, so that he could treat me like nothing more than yet another in what I was sure was a long line of one night stands. I had far, far too much pride for that.
That is, until I missed my period…
My pride vanished away in pretty short order after that.
How could this have happened? How the hell could I be pregnant with that bastard’s child? I’d been on birth control, and thought surely that had been enough. But clearly, the pill isn’t failsafe, and I had, of course, been part of the minuscule percentage of the population for whom such methods of birth control failed.
My fling with the bad boy had all but screwed me over…
I scrambled around in my head, struggling to figure out what the hell I should do. I didn’t even consider terminating – I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but it scared me too much to even ponder it in my head. Yet it seemed impossible that I could hope to count on Ray to raise this child with me. There was no way in hell he would ever go for it…
Still, though, I had to at least give it a damn try. I went back to the bar where we’d met, expecting him to be there as per his word. But of course, he wasn’t there… Nor had I had the good sense to steal his phone number when I was adding myself to his phone, so I couldn’t contact him directly, either.
My only hope at this point was to track down his physical address using the name I’d taken from his driver’s license, and pray that he was decent enough to consider taking me in after getting me knocked up.
It had taken some digging, and I’d ended up showing up to the houses of two different Ray Millers that weren’t him before at last making it to what was presumably the right place.
The house was a lot nicer than I might have expected…
I rang the doorbell nervously, not sure what the hell I should expect, and when the door open, the sight that, in fact, greeted me, was one I’d expected even less than the other possibilities I’d been considering.
“Can I help you?” asked a woman, older than myself by a few years, and instantly I felt a pang of nerves, a less than pleasant sense of realization coming over me.
“Oh, um… Yeah, is… Ray there?” I asked, walking on eggshells, and feeling as though I might regret it just as soon as the words passed my lips.
“He’s out,” she said flatly, looking me up and down, disgust painting her otherwise beautiful features in a manner that was markedly unflattering. “Who the hell are you?” And it was in that moment that my worst fears were realized… My eyes fell to the ring on her finger, and then to the background, where I could clearly spy a wedding photo – featuring the woman, and an unmistakably younger version of Ray.
My mouth fell limply open, and I blinked, trying to see straight, my world feeling as though it was crashing in all around me. I stammered, a series of halting squeaks peeping up from inside me, but no words came out.
“Excuse me?” asked my pissy host, and I looked up at her in a different light now, feeling extremely guilty, and as though I’d committed a terrible wrong against her.
“I’m… I’m sorry,” I said, trying to think up an excuse for my presence here. “I think… I think maybe I have the wrong Ray.”
The woman scowled at me, that pretty face of hers again looking disgusted, and when I’d turned to leave she slammed the door shut hard, happy to be rid of me.
I realized, with horror, that I’d screwed a married man and gotten pregnant with his baby…
I spent the rest of the day in a stupor. I didn’t sleep that night. Things felt more terrible for me than ever, and I lay in bed with my hand on my abdomen, contemplating the life growing inside me with shame and embarrassment.
And then my phone began to vibrate, scaring the hell out of me in my present state of distraction.
The number was unlisted, but I knew who it was instantly all the same. “Elizabeth. Why the hell were you at my house today?”
I immediately bristled, defensive, and replied, “Why the hell didn’t you tell me you were married?” I should have opened, I supposed, with the news of my pregnancy, but I was just too damn irate about his deceit, and it was doubling up the already considerable amount of stress I was feeling as a result of this entire situation.
“It’s not really your business, now is it?”
“Well, excuse me, but I think it fucking might be.” I smashed the button as I pressed send, snarling at the phone, and then, just to drive my point home, I added, “It definitely is, now, because I just found out I’m fucking pregnant. That’s why I stopped by, actually, in case you still wanted to know…”
He was silent after that.
I waited. And waited. Tears began to well up in my eyes.
I hadn’t imagined this going well by any means, but this had been an outright disaster.
“Ray,” I texted, hoping to apologize, and then again, “RAY!”
But there was no answer.
I waited and waited, and then broke down sobbing on the bed, head buried in the pillows, my body feeling as though it was on the verge of falling to pieces.
And suddenly, I heard a knock on my door, startling me even more than Ray’s first text had done. I sat bolt upright, alarmed, hesitant. I crept slowly to the door, certain I knew who it would be, yet not knowing at all what to expect.
Sure enough, I opened the door to see Ray standing there, his expression unclear, but serious, to be certain. He stepped inside, and we stared at one another, trying to come up with the words.
“Is it true?” he asked at last, and when I scowled at him, he amended, “I just mean… Well, are you completely sure it’s mine?”
“Yes, goddammit! There hasn’t been anyone else… And I wouldn’t be telling you this if I wasn’t sure, now would I?'
“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry…” He waved his hands at me, trying to calm me down, and though my nostrils flared angrily at him, still visibly pissed, I managed to avoid snapping at him, and tried to keep my head. “I’m… About… Me, begin married, I… There’s something you have to understand…”
“Oh, and what might that be?” I asked, getting riled up yet again, and I have to give him credit for remaining as calm as he did despite my almost vicious antagonism.
“I’ve been miserable, for a long, long time… My wife drives me… Up the wall, honestly, and I just can’t take it.”
“Of course,” I scoffed, angrier than ever. Matthew’s shifting of all blame to me when we’d broken up now came raging to the forefront in my mind, and I began to jump to the conclusion that all men were simply like this. “Of course, it’s always the woman’s fault when her man gets caught sticking his dick in places where it doesn’t belong…”
He didn’t say anything in response to this, but gave me a harsh glare, as though to say I didn’t know what the hell I was putting my foot into, and that it would be in my best interest to listen to him before I went and spouted off something I couldn’t take back.
“No… It isn’t always the woman’s fault… I’ve done more than my fair share of shit over the years, and I won’t pretend otherwise. But Angela, my wife, has had me under her thumb since we were dating as teenagers. She told me she was pregnant when the two of us were eighteen, which was what got me to marry her in the first place. But then she told me she’d been mistaken about it, and I was stuck with her, certain that she’d just made it up out of fear of losing me…”
I have to admit, I faltered a little bit at this point, my argument feeling weakened, but I persisted. “Well… Well, why the hell don’t you just divorce her, then?”
“It’s never been that simple,” he said. “She’s very manipulative… She… She has a control over me that I’ve never been able to shake. You can argue that what I do is wrong if you want to, but I do it because I have to… Because I can’t go on thinking she’s all I have to look forward to in life… I just can’t fucking take it…”
I was silent, now, unwilling to say a word. I could no longer tell how I felt about the situation, what side of the line I stood on. I simply waited for him to continue, and he did, sure enough.
“To be honest… I’ve actually been thinking about you, a lot, since that night… For what it’s worth, I was happier then than I had been in a long time… I actually really wanted to get in touch with you, before all this, but… Well, it just seemed too impossible to me. Like I was just asking for more pain, trying to start something that could never lead anywhere. I didn’t have the courage to go through with it. But, knowing what I do now, I… Well… I think I needed to hear it… I think I need you…”
I blinked at him, stunned, not having expected things to take this course at all. “Wh – what?” I asked, almost certain that I’d misheard him. He stepped closer to me, and I could feel his body heat making me sweat.
“I know… I know that what I did was… Well, unacceptable… But I’m sorry… I really, deeply am sorry… And if you could forgive me… If you thought there was, deep down, any chance you wanted to be together, to raise our child… I would leave my wife in a heartbeat…”
My mouth hung open, and I stammered, head spinning, not knowing what to say. I had no reason to trust a word he’d just said to me now… In fact, I had more reason than ever to distrust him, to call bullshit, and to get out of there while I could still have a hope in hell of emotionally detaching myself from him.
After all I’d been through, it seemed like my cynicism should have won out, and I should have been spurred to kick him out right there on the spot, ejecting him from my life, and moving on with my decisions on my own.
But I didn’t…
For whatever reason, I believed him, and now I felt as though I needed him more than ever.
In spite of myself, in spite of all the vitriol I’d just felt welling up inside me against him, and all the mistrust I had reason to feel against him, I found myself stepping toward him. Peering long, deep, intensely into his eyes, getting lost in them, as I had the night when the two of us had first met.
And suddenly, almost before I could realize it, the two of us were kissing one another. Our lips melted together, our tongues pushed into one another’s cheeks, and God, it was so wonderful… Our first kiss had been terrific, but this was like another plane of delicacy entirely. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed him until that very moment, his flavor, his smell in my nose, everything about him.
He put his tongue so deep down my throat that I thought I might choke on him, and as we kissed we began to stumble through the house, high on passion, all the way into my bedroom.
He kicked the door closed behind us, sealing us in, and he laid me down on the bed, piling down on top of me, and the two of us continued to kiss. He began to dry hump me through our clothes, grinding his body up against me, and I felt his tremendous cock once again, pushing against me through the fabric, making me burn for him. His lips went from my mouth to the side of my neck, sinking his teeth into me, and my eyes went wide, my nostrils flaring, as my fingers curled into the bedspread, struggling to contain the pleasure.
He rose up from me to peel out of his shirt, and I savored the sight of his tattoos, the black twisting around his form, emphasizing his brilliant musculature.
And his hands were on me again now, peeling me out of my own clothes. He slid me out of my t-shirt, and effortlessly peeled me out of my bra, bringing my tits out into the open. He put his mouth on them, suckling on them like a newborn, his teeth biting down tenderly against the nipples, making me burn for him.
I shrieked with pleasure, my toes curled, my buttocks clenched, and his hands laced down into my yoga pants, looping into my panties. He slid me out of these as well, and I kicked them from the bed, lying beneath him in my nudity and wetness.
His kisses began to drip down, down, down along my body, sliding from my breasts, to my stomach, then his face sinking between my legs, causing my eyes to go wide.
He put his lips on those of my pussy, and put his tongue inside me, twisting it around, gently stabbing my cunt with repetitive little blows. I moaned, and squirmed on the bed, pushing my ass forward, burying his face in me even more, wrapping my legs around his neck. He put his hands on my thighs to get a proper grip on me, and his head began to bob steadily, rhythmically as he ate me, rolling his tongue around steadily through my folds, lapping up my pussy like it was the most delectable thing he’d ever had the pleasure of consuming.
I shook all over, and tried to contain my pleasure, but it was no use. He put his finger against my clit as he ate me, and set me over the edge. My thighs closed in around his head, threatening to crush him like a vice. I moaned, at the top of my lungs, as orgasm pushed through my body in waves, inundating me, destroying me, causing my body to glow from head to toe with sensation.
I cried aloud, and at last he pulled his face away from me, my pussy still on his mouth as he leaned in to kiss me softly, perversely.
He slid out of his jeans, his underwear, and I felt the long, hot shaft of that cock of his slide up against my inner thigh, making me wet, getting me ready for him.
He raised himself up onto me, mounting me, and pushed his engorged purple tip through the opening of my pussy. Then he shoved his way inside me once again, stretching me out to capacity. Inch by inch by agonizing inch of his long, hard dick came sliding up into my body, drilling me to my deepest, wettest depths, filling me to capacity.
And at last he was inside me, and I gasped with pleasure, struggling to contain him.
His ass clenched as he pulled back out of me, and then pushed his way forward again, steadily breaking into a rhythm. Cleaving apart my folds, making them whole again, and then splitting them again. Faster and faster, humping, thrusting, fucking me, his hands all over my warm, wet anatomy, his mouth on mine, our legs entwined and sliding madly across the sheets as we fucked.
“Oh God, oh God, oh God,” I was moaning, whenever his lips were off of mine and I had a chance to chant my pleasure. He was pounding me, almost violently, filling me up with sensations, and at last he drilled down deep, holding steady, fingers curled into my flesh, the two of us shaking as the world seemed to spin around our heads.
He began to ejaculate into me wildly, his cum thick and hot and sticky as it poured into my flesh. Pulse after pulse of his thick, steamy essence, coating my folds, drenching me, and setting me wildly over the edge. Orgasm, the likes of which I’d never before known, came pushing through my body like a drug, invading every limb, causing me to tense up. My buttocks clenched, my toes curled, and I arched my spine up into him, feeling perfectly crushed beneath his weight, as at long, long last, the sensations drew to a close.
He pulled out of me, and wrapped me up in his arms. Kissing me all over, nibbling on me, and reassuring me, somehow, that everything was going to be okay, in spite of all the doubts I might have had about the situation in which we found ourselves.
For a bad boy, he really wasn’t that bad at all, where it mattered. And he’d given me a hope in life that I’d been missing for a long, long time now…