Grace

The first thing I notice when I wake up is that I feel cold.

The room is cold. The bed I’m on feels cold. My skin feels cold.

And I don’t like cold. It reminds me of Rudy.

Rudy.

The Icebreaker.

I blink.

I remember it now. I remember it all now.

I remember the cold and the heat and the flood. I remember how Katie and my parents died. And I remember emerging from the shelter and trying to survive in those first few days after Rudy. I remember almost dying. I remember wanting to die. And I remember the pod from the Vessel descending and City Q being built. I remember living in it, working at the Wardrobe Quarters. I remember Elisa.

And yes, I remember everything leading up to the fateful day when I went into that machine, just as clearly as I remember being back in that machine earlier.

My memories are back.

“How are you feeling, Grace?” A man wearing eyeglasses stands by my bed.

I smile at him. “Gordon. You’re Gordon, right?”

He holds my hand and smiles. “You remember me.”

I nod. Then, remembering something else, I run my fingers over my chest. I feel a wave of relief as my fingertips come in contact with gold.

“Yes. You still have it,” he says.

I give him a puzzled look. “But I took it off before, and I’ve had it with me this whole time.”

“I put it back on you before they took you away,” Gordon informs me.

I feel even more confused. “Took me away? Who’s they?”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t say more,” Gordon says. “I’m glad you’re back, though, and that you’re safe. And now you have your memories back. Oh, and your scar’s gone, too.”

I run my finger over my face. Right. I don’t have my scar anymore.

“So how do you feel?” Gordon asks again.

I shrug. “Okay, I guess.”

“Better than before?”

Am I? I don’t know. I know I’ve regained my memories, but I also know I’ve lost something possibly more important.

Travis.

At the thought of him, my chest feels tight and prickly. My heart aches.

How could he just leave me behind like that when we said we’d go back to Hope Creek together? How could he tell me again that it was all a lie when we both knew it was real?

The tears threaten to burst again and I place a hand over my chest.

How could Travis just say I belonged with his brother without even asking how I felt?

“Grace?” Gordon places a hand on my shoulder.

His eyes overflow with concern.

“I’ll be okay,” I tell him. “How long was I out?”

“Nearly a day,” he answers. “And Michael has been by your side throughout most of it.”

Michael.

“He left just now to check on something, but he’ll be back soon. He’s been so anxious for you to wake.”

Yes, I remember him.

I remember how we met and all those times we spent together, all the dates we had and all the times we had sex. I remember how he liked it when I bit his shoulder as I came. I remember the smell of his cologne. I remember how he proposed and how I said yes.

Strange, though. Wasn’t that just weeks ago? And yet it feels like years.

Just then, the door opens and Michael comes in. I sit up and stare at him.

He’s just as I remember him. Warm brown eyes. Neatly combed dark brown hair. Clean shaved chin.

“Michael,” I say his name with a smile and his face lights up.

“Grace.”

He runs to me and wraps his arms around me, squeezing me tight. I hug him in turn.

He pulls away and touches my cheek. “I thought you were dead. I was crushed. I didn’t want to live anymore.”

I frown as I imagine how he must have felt when he found out I was gone.

“What did your mother say?”

“That you wanted to have your scar removed.” He runs his finger across my face. “But you didn’t have to. I loved you in spite of it. I loved every bit of you.”

Weird. Wasn’t it his mother’s idea to have my scar removed so I’d look perfect?

“And then she said you ran off, and for a moment there, I thought you were dead,” Michael goes on as he holds my hands. “But I knew you weren’t. Somehow, I always knew you’d come back to me. And here you are.”

He kisses my hands.

“How do you feel now?” he asks. “Do you remember everything about us?”

I nod.

“I’m sorry I didn’t keep my word last time and marry you as soon as I could.”

“Why didn’t you?” I ask curiously. “I was waiting.”

“My father was busy, so I couldn’t talk to him and tell him about our marriage.”

“Oh.”

“But I have now,” Michael announces happily. “And he doesn’t really care.”

“And your mother?”

“Who cares about her?” He strokes my cheek. “All that matters is us. We’re the ones who are going to get married, after all. And speaking of that…”

He goes down on one knee on the floor and takes a satin box out of his pocket.

I clasp my hand over my mouth.

“I was on my knees before, but I didn’t have a ring. Now I do.”

Michael opens the box, and I gasp at the diamond ring inside.

“And it’s your size, too, or so I hope. Shall I put it on you?”

I hesitate.

His eyes narrow. “Or maybe I should propose again.”

He clears his throat and I hold my breath.

“Grace Dawson, I love you. I thought I knew how much until I almost lost you. Now I know that losing you is unbearable. I’ve let you slip from my fingers once. It won’t happen again. I promise to always love you and to take good care of you, to keep you safe, to make sure you’re happy. I’ll give you everything you need and help build a better world for our children. Just say yes to me like you did before. Say you’ll marry me.”

I pause as I look into his eyes. In them, I see his love and his sincerity. I see the promise and the plea. I see a reminder of what we had before I met Travis.

If I hadn’t lost my memories and ended up in Hope Creek, I’d probably be married to Michael by now. I already said yes. It would be unfair to him for me to say no now just because I’ve met another man, especially since it wasn’t his fault that all those things happened.

He didn’t let me go and I didn’t leave him. I was taken from him, and by some cruel twist of fate, I ended up with his brother.

But I loved him first. Surely I belong with him. Surely I can love him again.

Besides, isn’t that what Travis wants?

“Grace?”

I nod. “My answer remains the same.”

At once, Michael’s lips curve into a wide smile. He slips the ring on my finger, the right finger this time, then he kisses my hand and then my lips.

But I don’t kiss him back. Why don’t I want to? Why are my lips yearning for someone else when I’ve already made up my mind to marry this man?

He pulls away. “We’ll get married as soon as possible, this very night. We’ve waited long enough.”

My eyes grow wide. “Tonight?”

Michael nods.

“So soon?”

The smile vanishes from his face. “You don’t like it?”

“I just… thought we’d do everything properly this time, not hastily like before,” I tell him. “You said your father approves, so there’s no need to do it in a rush or in secret.”

“You want a grand wedding?” Michael asks. “Is that it?”

“I want to plan my own wedding, to make my own wedding gown.”

And to give myself time to convince myself to forget Travis.

Michael nods. “I understand. How long do you think it will take to finish a gown?”

I shrug. “Gowns usually take months, but give me a week. Oh, and Elisa could help me with it.”

“Of course. I’ll ask Sandra to send her to you. Anything else?”

I pause. “I’d like the children at the Sanctuary to be there at our wedding. I’ll make dresses for them, too.”

“Of course. They’ll be thrilled to see you. I heard they were looking for you.”

I smile.

Michael touches my cheek. “This wedding will be everything you dreamed of, my love.”

I nod.

This is what I dreamed of. This is what I wanted. This is what I was meant to have.

It’s time to put Hope Creek and Travis behind me.