Chapter 2
So, it was like this…
As I said, I’d been friends with Clarissa since high school. But I’d also, by extension, been friends with Jeff since then as well.
To be honest, Clarissa had always been quite the little witch about things. But for whatever reason, she’d been one of the first popular kids to befriend me during my “overcoming social rejection” phase during my later years of high school. It’s hard to say just what she saw in me… Maybe I was just smarter than most of her friends, and she enjoyed having me to take advantage of when it came to half-assing homework assignments. Or hell, for that matter, maybe she just wanted to feel sexy by comparison whenever she stood next to me.
Whatever her motivations, in her way she’d done wonders to boost my self-esteem, making me feel more in touch with my classmates and likeable, and forging a deeper bond between the two of us than I’d ever really managed to find with any of the other kids I knew. Of course, she was still pissy about every little thing, but in my naivety, my willingness to fit in, I forced myself to more or less ignore her many flaws. To go along with whatever she told me, and to build up a vast wealth of loyalty to her in the process.
And that, sooner or later, was where Jeff came in…
Jeff, in high school, had been nothing short of a bad boy. Dark and brooding, he was everything that I would never dare to be. He skipped classes, failed tests, got in trouble for writing things on desks, and yet nothing ever seemed to bother him. I, by contrast, was as safe, as dedicated to the straight and narrow and doing things right as it was possible to be.
But God, I wanted him…
Even as I knew that I could have no hope in hell of ever kindling a relationship with the sexy young stud, I couldn’t help but allow myself to fantasize, to drool over him, to the point of imagining our future family together, names picked out for the kids and everything.
This, in turn, presented its own set of problems…
Had it been any other guy, I probably could have expected Clarissa to offer me “helpful” tips on how to snag him. Ways to act, things to say, things that would likely work for any normal girl, but would surely backfire should I attempt in any way to emulate them personally.
But I didn’t really need to worry about it in this case, because the young man I secretly burned for just happened to have an on again, off again relationship with my new best friend, and the conflict of interests was one that violently chewed me up inside. I couldn’t tell a soul about it, couldn’t breathe a word, at the risk of sabotaging Clarissa and my relationship – a risk I simply could not dare to take.
I had to watch them kiss in front of me, watch them grope and hold hands. I had to be a third wheel to their dates, with Jeff interacting with me in a capacity that revealed some real chemistry hiding beneath the surface – yet I knew that it was only platonic, and that he would always be too blinded by Clarissa and her sexual charms to even pay any thought to me as anything beyond a friend.
God, it ate me up so badly inside… It made things even worse to see how terrible they were together, like their dynamic was all fucked up and terrible on so many levels. They fought all the time, and I knew that some of Jeff’s bad boy tendencies went a long way in pissing Clarissa off just as much as they turned her on.
Every other week or so, it seemed like they broke up, and once in a while I would actually delude myself into considering making my move during one of these down periods. I would have to get Clarissa’s say-so of course, reason with her, and make sure it was okay. I would wait, maybe a week or so to ensure it didn’t seem like I was going on the attack too suddenly. But then, inevitably, I would sit down to discuss the matter, and I would learn out of the blue that the two of them were reconciled, back together again, and that I’d missed my chance.
Again, and again, and again…
Once, right after graduation, I’d walked in on the two eighteen year olds having sex on Clarissa’s couch, her parents gone, and me there seeing whether she wanted to hang out and do something. And God, it was so awful… Seeing Jeff on top off her, bending her over the sofa. His naked ass bent as he doubled over on top of her, Clarissa moaning with pleasure until she noticed my arrival, at which point things made an abrupt, awkward stop. What was more, the two of them had been going at it anally, and somehow, to me, that made it even worse. I don’t know why, exactly… I guess because I was just so damn inexperienced, and I couldn’t even fathom someone putting themselves into my body that way, as much as the thought aroused me…
Needless to say, I’d high-tailed it out of there like there was no tomorrow, feeling mortified, disgusted, and more hopeless than ever at the prospect of things ever progressing between Jeff and I.
I don’t know if I just thought the two of them weren’t having sex or something, or that I naively let myself believe they were saving themselves for marriage, but seeing it firsthand really stung, and I didn’t know how the hell I would ever manage to face either of them again.
However, once we did meet next, they sort of just gave me a teasing, playful look about it, more amused than anything. Their attitudes about sex were such that, apparently, getting caught in the act was more humorous than embarrassing, and as gross as I felt inside about the whole episode, I continued to put up a front of my own, acting like I shared in their consensus.
And so the years went along. College came, at least for Clarissa and I, and things between her and Jeff were more turbulent than ever. I knew for a fact that there were periods during which she screwed other men while the two of them were still technically together, but I didn’t see it in my place to say anything about it…
I don’t know exactly what Jeff was into during that period, either. I think he got into some trouble somewhere along the line, and had some making up to do as far as that went, but it must not have been serious.
Eventually, I became occupied by my own life at last, and I kind of lost track of where things stood between the two of them, so that the last thing I knew they’d been split up for a good year or so by the time they announced their engagement, seemingly out of the blue.
That announcement had sent it all flying back inside me, the feelings of resentment and jealousy, my inferiority complex, my hopelessness that my fantasies could ever be made a reality with Jeff.
I just couldn’t see it…
I couldn’t understand, for the life of me, what he saw in her. She was just getting worse and worse, more and more spoiled with age, and sometimes lately I couldn’t even stand to be around her. How could this man, so quiet and dark, seemingly unwilling to put up with bullshit, stand to commit his life to pleasing her, unpleasable as she was, and generally insufferable.
The answer, of course, was relatively obvious if I was honest to myself, and it was wet and soft and pink, and probably very nice for him…
But God, it just pissed me off…
I tried to be nice, supportive, pretend like I was happy for them, but inwardly I still burned for Jeff, wanted him more than anything in the world.
And that was when the night of Clarissa’s bachelorette party rolled around…
I hadn’t especially wanted to attend the damn thing, but it seemed as though there was no possibility I could say no. What made it even worse was the fact that I couldn’t even drink to dull my senses. I was, of all things, the designated driver for Clarissa… Meaning I had to sit and drink ginger ale, while she and the gaggle of cackling hyenas she called girlfriends made jokes about Jeff’s dick and how much he’d be putting it in her over the course of the honeymoon.
Suffice it to say, I was in a particularly bad mood when I drove back up to her doorstep later that evening, slinging her nearly unconscious body over my arm, and leading her to the front door with staggering, uncertain footsteps.
“Jesus,” Jeff had said, clearly pissed off at how bad she’d gotten, and he helped me carry her inside, taking her the rest of the way, and tucking her into bed, where she was out like a light.
“Thank you, so much,” said Jeff, thanking me sincerely. It occurred to me that he seemed to have cleaned up since his scrappy, misbehaved days of youth. I could still see the bad streak in his eyes, but living with Clarissa must have been like raising a damn child for him, and the responsibility of it was clearly eating away at that youthful rebelliousness.
“Oh don’t worry about it… Somebody had to be the responsible one,” I said, smiling. I hadn’t meant it to be a dig at Clarissa, but it kind of turned out that way regardless.
“I guess so…” he laughed. “You always were sort of the responsible one in our group, now that I think about it… And thank God for that, we needed it…”
“Oh, well, you know,” I shrugged shyly, like this was the biggest compliment in the world he could possibly be paying me. “I like to help when I can.”
He grinned, and looked deep into me, with something a little bit deeper than passing affection. “God, maybe it’s you I should have been marrying all along…” he said, and the moment seemed to freeze up, immediately, around us.
I knew, of course, that he’d said it lightly. He’d meant it as a joke, a passing comment meant to be forgotten. But now that the words were out in the open, they began to take on real meaning. I held my breath as he stared into me, making my skin crawl with desire, and we both considered with dread and anticipation what it was we were about to do.
His eyes were dripping along my body, clearly liking what they saw, as though he was just now noticing my physicality for the first time, too distracted as he’d always been by Clarissa’s pussy to think twice about her curvy, average sidekick.
But just then, I had the upper hand… I could actually see him, growing hard for me, as slowly, zombified, he moved forward. My eyes flitted briefly toward the stairs to the second floor of the home, as though I feared at any moment Clarissa was about to wake up, and she would discover us in scandal. But of course, she was shit-faced and passed out, and whatever Jeff’s intentions might have been, I sure as hell wasn’t about to stop him…
Before I knew it, the two of us were together. His lips were on me for the first time, pressing warm and wet and luscious against my mouth. My brain lit up, I bristled, and the sensations plumed through me, like the eruption of a volcano through my system.
I leaned my body up against him, pushing my body into him to the greatest extent possible, loving the feeling of his hard boner pulsing up against me through his jeans.
There was no stopping us now… No self-restraint to be found, no slowing down in the least. We’d started something that needed to be finished, and we were flying through it in desperation, burning for it.
He pulled me with him into the guest bedroom, and closed the door behind us. He slipped out of his shirt, and it was like a dream as my mouth watered, taking in the sight of that six pack that I’d been fantasizing about for so long. He wrapped his arms around me, and proceeded to ravish me, putting his lips wherever he could find skin. He nibbled on the side of my neck, sinking his teeth into me, squeezing my breasts with his hands. My nipples began to harden, and my body began to burn for him, as the last lingering thoughts of his bride to be flitted rapidly from my mind.
I moaned as he put his mouth to the folds of cleavage pushing up from above the top of my blouse, rolling his tongue through the clack as he continued to fondle me manually, and my head began to spin.
I pulled his face desperately back up into me, giving him a last kiss before he peeled me out of my blouse. My breasts jiggled as the fabric drifted to the floor, and I struggled desperately to unhook my bra for him. He slid the straps from my shoulders, and peeled the cups away, revealing my hard, luscious nipples, presently burning for him, and looking oh so fine as he descended upon them with his mouth.
I groaned with pleasure as he sunk his teeth into me, rolling his tongue around the perimeter of each nipple, stretching me out, making my head spin as he filled my body with untold sensations. I let my hand fall down as he ravished me, stroking his bulge through the front of his jeans, and with one free hand he slid his own palm down my skirt. He began to pet my warm, wet cunt through the lace of my panties, making my knees quiver around him as I struggled to keep myself thinking straight, and at last the beauty of it all was too much for me to handle.
I pulled away from him, my nipples sticky with saliva as I rose up from the bed, and turned to peer back at him over my shoulder. I slowly, slowly bent my body over at the waist, and peeled out of my skirt and panties, dredging them down, down, down along my body, spreading my buttocks wide as I stooped toward the floor, and giving him a nice, splayed view of my wet anus and pussy in the process.
I rose back up to full height, completely naked now, and walked back over to him with his legs flung over the bed. I undid the fly of his jeans, and slid my hand into his underwear, pulling his stiff, veiny cock out into the open. It was already wet and sticky for me, and it only took a few quick pumps of my wrist before more pre-ejaculate streamed out, dribbling along his shaft, getting caught in my fingers as I continued to masturbate him steadily.
Again, he groaned, and I brought my face up over his lap, licking my lips as I lined myself up with his engorged purple tip. I opened my mouth wide, and I slowly brought my face down, down, down around him. My lips dissolved around his tip like liquid, and my nostrils flared as inch by inch by agonizing inch of that thick, delectable shaft came sliding down the hot wet crook of my throat.
At last, my neck engulfed him, his tip touching lightly against the back of my throat, and he sighed, stroking my hair lovingly, as I held myself in place.
Then, slowly, very slowly, I began to lift my face back up, up, up along him. Rising, all the way to his fat tip, building up an immense, unbearable suction as I rose. Then, snapping my lips away from him, blasting him with a shock of cool air, before I began the trip back down, down, downward once more.
I proceeded to suck him off in a steady, bobbing rhythm, growing faster and faster with each passing joust of my neck. Gross, depraved sounds began to squelch up from my throat as he slid in and out of me, GLUG, GLUG, GLUG, GLUG, and God did I love it… Spitting his immensity in and out of myself, sliding him deeper and deeper, lubing him up in thick layers of my warm, thick spit, twisting my tongue around him, causing him to shiver with delight.
“Ohhhhhhh, Godddd….” he moaned, one final time, and held my face up to him, holding steady, steady, steady, to the point that I thought he must surely be getting ready to bust between my cheeks.
However, at the point when I could no longer breathe, he pulled his way slowly, slowly, slowly back out of me, my lips now spattered with saliva, and I licked my mouth at him, grinning wide, at the look of intense, devilish lust in his eyes.
He couldn’t take the suspense anymore…
In desperation, he pulled my body hard onto the bed. Its surface jiggled beneath me, and I rested on my hands and knees, spreading myself out for him, making it known that he could do whatever the hell he pleased with my body in that moment.
I heard the rustling sound of denim as he slipped out of his jeans, casting them to the ground, and his long, wet cock swung wildly as he climbed up onto the bed with me. He ground his cock between my buttocks, making me burn for him, teasing me. He kneaded the cheeks of my ass with his fingers, loving their supple fullness, digging his nails into me, and then smacking my ass, the pain wonderful as it settled gently back into place.
Then he mounted me. He climbed up over me, lining up the tip of his cock with the opening of my pussy. I gasped, cried out as he entered me from behind, stretching me out. He slid inside me, burying that long shaft of his inside my deepest, wettest folds, at last touching down with a loud roar of satisfaction, and leaving me trembling to contain him.
He was so hot inside me, so thick, so wonderful…
And then he reared back, and pounded his way forward yet again.
He proceeded to fuck me. To thrust, to hump, to slam himself into my body. There was a brief period of steady, rhythmic strokes, but they rapidly ramped upward, faster and faster and faster, slamming almost violently into me, making me scream as he nailed my pussy repeatedly. Smashing, pulverizing, pounding my lights out.
Harder and harder and harder, our bodies colliding, every ounce of flesh on my body jiggling, my ass bouncing as his pelvis hurled repeatedly forward, my breasts swinging forward on my chest like fleshy pendulums. And he just kept pounding and pounding, grunting and growling, his claws sinking into me so deeply that I could hardly stand it, my teeth sinking into my lower lip as I tried to contain my enthusiasm.
Our wet, enthusiastic genitals smacked almost violently together, KLAP KLAP KLAP KLAP KLAP, and he pulled back on handfuls of my hair, and I began to moan wildly, “Oh God, oh God, fuck, yes, yes, yes…”
And with a last, devastating roar, he hurled himself into me, pushing his body so deep against me that our very sweat and blood seemed to merge in that moment. He began to ejaculate wildly into my body, pulse after pulse of his hot, molten seed pouring into my cunt in streams, filling me to the brim, in such thickness and abundance that it spilled onto the bed in loud splashes.
I began to climax wildly, orgasm racing through my body in waves. My spine arched, and my toes curled, and I shook as I pushed myself into him, driving as much of his sticky cock into me as deep as I could manage, as every nerve in my body seemed to go off like a damn firework with unbridled sensation.
And at last, at long, long last, my nerve ends sizzled out, the sensations came to a halt, and he pulled out of me. We collapsed on the bed together, sweaty and panting, the afterglow strange and hazy as it washed over us, and the reality of the situation slowly setting in. We looked at one another, and did a bit more kissing, trying to ward it off. He squeezed my breast, and I stroked his cock a few times, and he put his fingers into my cum filled pussy, but it was too late now.
The moment had passed.
And good God, what had we done?
“This was a mistake…” one of us said, horrified, and I can’t even remember now which of us it was. But it was a reality that we both knew to be true, and moments later I was scrambling up from his bed, throwing on my clothes, fearing like I was about to bust out crying, as I made my way scrambling from the house.
Clarissa never even suspected a thing…
We’d gotten away with it, despite it eating us up inside afterwards. There was no way we could ever let anyone know what had happened, never even come close to revealing the truth. It would ruin things for all three of us, beyond repair, and we simply could not allow that to happen as a result of our brief and foolish decision.
It was heartbreaking to me, honestly… Having that taste of him, his flavor still on my tongue as I’d rushed out of the house, his cum still trickling down my legs. I’d seen what it was like at last, my fantasies fulfilled after so many years of anticipation. And God, it had been so wonderful for the few moments of its duration, so perfect and so satisfying – and then it had been over…
As easily as that, my wish had been granted and then taken away again. And now, almost surely, it would be harder than ever to let that die in my mind. Jeff, now, pretended as though he barely knew me. Didn’t acknowledge me, despite my attendance as a bridesmaid at his wedding, didn’t look me in the eye.
But I’d made my bed, so to speak, and now it was time to lie in it.
I tried, my absolute damnedest, to switch off my emotions, to not let it get to me. But it was like trying to lobotomize myself, cutting out a now essential aspect of my being, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t stop thinking about him, lusting after the damn fiancé of my best friend.
And then, I’d discovered I was pregnant…
It had taken me completely off guard, horrified me. I’d been on birth control during sex, and thought that would be enough given the sudden circumstances. There really should have been a condom involved, but of course it had all been so damn spur of the moment, unplanned…
I’d had my suspicions for a few weeks before finally going through with the pregnancy test. I kept trying to rationalize my missed period to myself, like maybe it was just a welcome side effect of my birth control, although it would have been one I’d never known before, previously. But the more and more I tried to avoid thinking about it, the more and more it worried me, until at last I realized I was just making matters worse with the uncertainty, and no amount of trying to run away from the problem was going to bring me an inch closer to solving enough.
And so, I peed on the stick, hoping for the best, expecting the worst – and getting just that.
I was preggers, alright… A bun in the oven… Whatever the hell you wanted to call it.
And now, I was stuck with an unbearable dilemma, struggling with my options, not sure what the hell I wanted to do.
I’ve always been pro-choice, politically, anyway, but when it came around to making that sort of decision myself, well – suffice it to say, it wasn’t quite as easy for me to consider. I just couldn’t seem to make myself comfortable with the notion, for whatever reason, and it seemed certain to me, almost from day one, that I was going to be keeping the child, one way or another.
This left me, of course, with yet another daunting choice to make, a necessary one, I was sure, but one as unpleasant as having my teeth pulled out.
I needed to tell Jeff…
He needed to know that his child was forming inside me, that I was going to be the mother of his baby – and I was not at all looking forward to the moment of that conversation’s happening.
It was bad enough that I had to face that prospect to begin with… But I knew that, what was more, I was under a deadline here. I couldn’t wait around, let some time pass, and get around to it whenever I just so happened to feel like it. The wedding was in a week, and my baby daddy was going to be married to another woman – my best friend, no less.
As much as it was like sheer agony to me, I needed to tell him, and fast. He needed to know, to be able to make the right decision, whatever that happened to be on his part. Obviously, that decision, from my perspective, was to leave Clarissa and to love me instead, but it was, of course, not my place to say either way. He simply needed to be aware of the situation, allowed to make his judgment accordingly, and I was just going to have to live with his verdict at the end of the day.
God, the thought of it made me burn inside… Made me want to cry, to break down, and lock myself in the house for an indefinite period of time.
But it was too late now… A decision had to be made, and Jeff had to be told.
One way or another, the truth had to be revealed – there was, simply, no stopping it.