Chapter 35

Brandt

I hadn’t left the inn since I got back from the hospital that night. Part of me wanted to wait there, hoping that my phone would ring, and it would be Emma. The other part of me wanted to hide away, not facing the real world for as long as I could possibly muster. I was waiting, but I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for. Maybe for Emma to have some time and finally want to talk to me. Maybe I was waiting to feel okay with myself and stop blaming myself for everything that had happened. I didn’t really know why I was still in Camden, but I did know I couldn’t leave until I knew for certain that Emma was safe and sound, feeling better from what happened.

I lay on the bed staring at the television and flipping through the channels. It was almost eleven at night, so there wasn’t really anything on TV to watch. I felt better knowing Emma was being taken care of, but I couldn’t shake the guilt that I should have been the one there taking care of her. In fact, if it weren’t for me, she would have never been in that situation in the first place, so guilt was definitely the appropriate emotion to be dealing with. I was trying not to beat myself up over it, knowing that I couldn’t control Josie, and I couldn’t’ stop my life just because she was a crazy bitch. I stopped my life once for her, and I would never do it again. If I did, I would be giving her exactly what she wanted.

Josie was the kind of woman who once she got her mind set on something, she had blinders on to everything else. When she sent Emma packing, she didn’t think about the pain and anguish she would put Emma through. She didn’t think about the life inside of Emma that she was putting at risk. All she thought about was how good she was going to get me back for whatever it was that she thought I was doing wrong. I wanted to show her how much her choices affected others, but I knew that even if I could do that, Josie wouldn’t care. Josie cared about one person and one person only, and that was herself. Everything that happened was because of her, and that fact alone just made me so damn angry with her. She deserved to be kicked out of Sicily’s life forever so she didn’t spread her nastiness and cold heart to my little girl.

I sat up in the bed and pulled my feet over the edge, stretching my arms up high in the air. I walked across the room, trying to remind myself that being angry with Josie wasn’t going to solve anything. It wasn’t going to bring Emma back to my arms, it wasn’t going to make my daughter magically not have to grow up without a mother, and it wasn’t going to make me feel any more justified in any of my actions. All it was really going to do was make me a colder and more bitter man, something I was trying to avoid at all costs. I opened up the mini-fridge, pulled out a beer, and popped the top. I tilted my head back, took a long hard sip and pulled it away, looking at the mess of a man I was in the mirror.

I shook my head, trying to tame the wild mane I had going on. With a sigh, I set the beer down on the desk and shuffled back over to the bed. I clicked off the television and rolled over on my side, staring out the window into the darkness. I wondered what Emma was doing right then, if she was sleeping or not, and if not, if she was thinking about me at all. I wondered if Caroline had talked to her about what I had shown her or if that would ever even be brought up. I had a hard time believing Caroline would keep that to herself. She wanted Emma to be happy, and she was not the kind of girl who would lie to her.

Several cars passed by the inn, and I watched as the lights passed by. The next car turned into the inn, the lights beaming through the windows. I squinted as it pulled in, parked and shut its lights off, turning my vision back to the pitch-black outside. I turned over onto the other side and sighed, wishing my life was different, wishing I had made other choices, something that would have kept Emma in my life. I didn’t know what else I could have done, but whatever it was, I wished I had seen it before this whole thing came crashing down on me like a landslide. I stared over at the blank television, watching my reflection on the screen. I could barely even look at myself anymore, and I was definitely not a man I felt my daughter could be proud to call her father. I was a shell, a complete mess of a person, and I knew it was because Emma wasn’t at my side.

Thinking about Emma and what had happened over the last couple of days, I felt like a fool. I had been so sure when I boarded that plane to Camden that I was going to get here and make everything better like the first time. I never imagined it would turn out like it had. I never imagined that when I found her, she would be so distraught, so angry, that she would collapse right there in front of me on the street. The fight may not have been what took her down, but the fact that she was so depressed that she wasn’t taking care of herself all fell back on me.

I looked up from the bed and pulled my eyebrows together, hearing a light knock on the door. I wondered who could be coming to see me that late, and fears that something else had happened flooded through me. I raced over to the door and pulled it open, looking hard at Emma standing on the other side. She looked pale and fragile leaning against the doorframe, her belly starting to fill out her sweatshirt.

“Emma,” I said, reaching forward and grabbing her arm, ushering her into the room. “What are you doing out of bed? You just got out of the hospital this morning, and you’re in no condition to be driving around late at night on your own. Are you okay? Do you need help?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head as I slowly set her down on the edge of the bed. “I’m okay, just a little tired. I slept all day, though. I couldn’t sleep anymore. I needed to come talk to you. I’m taking meds for stress, and it really helped clear my mind and see through the anger I had.”

“You had to do that at eleven at night?”

“I talked to Caroline,” she said. “She told me about you in the waiting room, that you cried, that you told her that everything was a lie. She told me there are texts from Josie that proves you’re telling the truth. At first, I didn’t care, I’ll be honest. I didn’t care because I was afraid I couldn’t trust you anymore, but the more I thought about it, the more I knew I needed to know the truth. I need to be able to let go of the anger that was always inside of me. Please, I’m listening now, I promise. Tell me about what happened, and don’t sugar coat anything. I want the absolute truth no matter how you think it’ll make me feel.”

“All right,” I sighed, sitting down next to her. “Josie lied to you. I never alienated her or pushed her out or anything else she lied about,” I said. “She came up with that story to tell her rich friends so she could stay part of the cool club, I guess. She left over two years ago just like I told you from the beginning. She started coming around before I found you. The first time she wanted to see Sicily, and I turned her away. The second time, Sicily came home in the middle of us talking, so I gave her the chance to make her own mind up. She told Josie to leave, that she didn’t want her in her life. She didn’t like that, but she left. After that, I didn’t see her until I came looking for you, and you were gone. I didn’t tell her there was any chance for us to work things out. That whole relationship is buried and gone, and Josie disgusts me.”

I pulled out my phone and clicked through to Josie’s messages. I looked over at Emma who looked like she was really tired. I got up and grabbed her a bottle of water and sat there while she drank it. When she was done, I handed her the phone.

“Josie started to send me messages the day you left. Those are the top ones,” I said. “The last three came through when I landed in Bangor. They’re all about her gloating for ruining my life, about lying to you, about how she would continue to torture me until I forced Sicily to accept her back into her life. They’re all telling me she was the reason you left, that she made sure you believed everything she was telling you. I wanted to delete them, to block her from texting me, but I knew that if I had a chance, I could show them to you.”

I sat there silently for a few minutes, watching Emma scroll up and down through the messages. She shook her head, reading silently but not saying a word. I wanted to know what she was thinking, what she was feeling, but at that moment, I knew I had to respect her boundaries. So, the two of us sat in silence as she digested everything in those messages. When she was done, she handed me the phone back and cleared her throat.

“She looked so convincing,” Emma said. “Tears and all.”

“Yeah,” I scoffed. “She used to do that to me too. It was hard to realize she was faking it the whole time. There’s obviously something seriously wrong with this girl. I’m so sorry that you had to be the brunt of her revenge.”

“You don’t need to apologize for her,” Emma whispered. “I’m just glad you came all the way here to make this right. I’m glad you saved those messages.”

She leaned over and put her head on my shoulder and let out a long deep breath. The feeling of her head so close to mine sent butterflies into my stomach. I had missed this woman so much, so very much, and my heart was pounding wildly in my chest.

“I understand now,” she whispered. “I’m sorry for running.”

“I’m sorry you were given a reason to,” I replied.

She sighed again, and I turned, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close. She laid her head on my chest and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. I could smell her lavender and vanilla shampoo as I kissed her on the top of the head. We settled down on the bed, and I pulled the covers over both of us before wrapping my arms tightly around her body.

“I love you, Emma, and I always will,” I said.

“I love you, too, Brandt, forever.” She yawned.

We fell asleep just like that, back in each other’s arms.