Chapter 33

Brandt

When I watched Emma fall to her knees, grabbing her belly, my heart just stopped beating right then and there. Everything slowed down, and I could see her whispering to herself as she lay on the sidewalk, her bags falling to the ground. I had looked over at one of them, seeing a fuzzy bunny with a big yellow bow and my heart shattered. I had followed along behind Caroline to the hospital and taken a seat in the waiting room, jumping every time the doors opened to the back. I had never felt fear or anxiety like I was feeling in that waiting room. I sat in the chair thinking about Emma and everything that had happened, from the first moment I ever saw her to the moments that had just passed.

That black dress she wore on Valentine’s Day still sparkled in my mind, matching the glimmer in her eye as we joked and talked all night long. I could feel the shock and pain when I woke up the next day, determined to find her. And I could still feel the hope in my heart when we made love in New York, talking about the baby and our future together. All of that was crashing down in a small hospital in Camden, Maine, and all because of my bitch of an ex-wife. Josie had been the reason for every bad thing that had ever happened to me. She had been the reason I fell into a depression, the reason I couldn’t provide Sicily with the kind of love only a mother could give, and now she was the reason I was there, bringing Emma literally to her knees.

Just thinking about Josie, about the smug look on her face, the laughter as I searched the apartment for Emma brought anger rising back up in my chest. She was everything that was wrong with this world, everything that I hated, and now she had taken Emma from me without even a whisper of remorse. She had damaged Sicily, me, and now Emma, and if she were there, I didn’t know if I could control myself. I couldn’t bear to think about Emma in that hospital bed, curled up, scared, hurt, and so fragile. My mind raced through all the scenarios that could be happening. What if she lost the baby? What if she had gotten so upset that it caused some sort of damage that they couldn’t fix? What if she was in danger, and I lost both of them in one fell swoop? What if everything we had became a memory in just one second of anger and distrust?

I shook my head and pulled my hands up to my face. I could barely keep it together sitting there wondering and waiting. My mind was taking this to the worst places, and I needed to snap out of it. I leaned back in the chair and tilted my head back, taking in a deep breath and slowly letting it out. When my heart had slowed, I looked around the waiting room at all the people sitting there. There were people waiting to be seen, family with worried faces waiting on those already in the back, and children playing in the kid’s corner. Every single one of them had someone there, holding their hands, patting their backs, and comforting them through that difficult time.

That was what was supposed to happen when you loved someone. You were supposed to be there for them, helping them over the hurdles in life, comforting them in a time of crisis. You were not supposed to be the person sitting there wondering if you had just severely hurt the love of your life and your unborn child. God, how could I be so stupid? I should have known that showing up like that would only make her more upset. I had caused this woman so much pain and anxiety in her life, and when it was the worst, I only aided in exasperating the situation. I should have left it alone from the beginning, taking Trevor’s advice and moving on, but I couldn’t see through my own selfishness to know she would have been better off without me. In fact, that child probably would be better off without me as well. But it was too late, and the damage had been done.

I sat beating myself up, watching as the clock ticked slowly by. The sound of the backroom doors opening made me look up, and I jumped to my feet when I saw Caroline walking out. She looked around the room and nodded, seeing me standing nervously to the side. She walked over rubbing her hands together and looked up at me. My heart was about to explode in my chest.

“Emma and the baby are okay,” she said.

“God, thank God,” I said putting my hand to my chest. “What happened?”

“She was dehydrated and exhausted,” Caroline said. “She’s been struggling since she came back from New York, and we were there for her as much as we could, but she’s stubborn.”

“It’s not your fault,” I said shaking my head. “You guys are amazing friends to her. I’m so glad she has you. Are they going to release her?”

“Not tonight,” Caroline said. “They want to keep her overnight for observation, just to make sure everything’s okay, monitor the baby’s heartbeat, and get her a good amount of fluids. They also gave her something for anxiety and that helped lower her heartbeat too. The dehydration will cause irregular heart activity. She’ll be leaving in the morning.”

“Will you call her parents?”

“She doesn’t want to worry them,” she said. “I’ll make sure she gets home safely, and we will be there to watch her and get her back to working order.”

“Wait,” I said grabbing Caroline’s arm as she turned to walk away. “Can I see her?”

“She doesn’t want to see you,” Caroline said kindly. “I’m sorry, but I have to respect her wishes, and the doctors want her to stay nice and calm. I don’t think right now is the right time for that, especially with how she reacted when she saw you. I think the best thing for you to do right now is go back to your hotel and try to relax. We can revisit this when she’s feeling a little bit better. I don’t want to push her any further than we already have. She’s in a fragile state and mentally I don’t think she’s capable of handling any of this.”

“God,” I said, rubbing my hands through my hair and sitting down with tears in my eyes. “This is all my fault. I should have never brought her in my life with my ex wreaking havoc everywhere.”

“To be fair, Emma says she isn’t your ex,” Caroline said, looking at me for answers.

“This is such a mess, and I will never be able to make her see,” I said, starting to cry.

Caroline sighed and looked around for a second before sitting next to me and putting her hand on my shoulder. She rubbed my back and let me gather myself, obviously feeling bad that I was completely losing it in the hospital waiting room. She reached in her purse and handed me a tissue.

“Thanks,” I said chuckling through the sobs. “This is the first time I’ve cried in probably ten or more years.”

“I’m not saying that what happened was good for her, but it wasn’t what caused her to collapse,” Caroline said. “She wasn’t feeling well in the store earlier today.”

“I know, well I don’t know, but this is all a mess,” I sighed. “Josie’s my ex, Caroline. She was lying to Emma. Emma knew Josie had been coming around trying to talk to my daughter, but Sicily wanted nothing to do with her. When I refused to force Sicily to talk to her more, she got vengeful. I guess she found out about Emma and decided to target her, trying to hurt me.”

“It just all seems so strange,” Caroline said. “You have to admit from the outside, first with the pictures and now this, you have to see how she would have a hard time believing you.”

“I do see it,” I said. “I see it, and it makes me so angry at my ex. Look, I can prove it to you. She’s been sending me these gloating texts about ruining my life and making Emma run off.”

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and skimmed down to Josie’s texts, glad that I’d saved them. I handed Caroline the phone and watched as she sighed, sitting back and looking through the messages. Her face went from unbelieving to angry really fast. She glanced up at me and then back down at the messages. She flipped to Josie’s contact information and back to the messages, shaking her head. She bit her lip and handed me back the phone, her mind obviously thinking about things.

“Look,” she said, leaning forward. “I wish I could help. I want to help, but right now in this hospital, it’s just not the time. I doubt Emma would even be able to comprehend what she’s looking at with those texts much less have a full conversation with you about it. I need you to be patient, give Emma some time to recover and clear her mind. When that’s happened, I promise I will tell her what you showed me. I have to go back in. They are going to move her soon.”

I nodded my head, and she smiled down as she patted my shoulder and walked back to the desk to get them open the doors for her. It wasn’t necessarily a win, but I knew Caroline was starting to believe I was telling the truth. I waited a couple more minutes to calm my nerves and then headed back to the inn. When I got inside, I called my mom and told her everything that had happened, including showing Caroline the texts.

“I think Emma’s friend is right, Brandt,” Mom said. “Give Emma some time. She’s just been through something scary, and she’ll need to get better and clear her mind. If Caroline is really as good of a friend as you say to Emma, she’ll talk to her when she knows the time is right.”

“I know,” I sighed. “Thank you for answering. I know you guys are busy.”

“I’ll always answer,” she said. “Now get some rest, eat something, and get a good night’s sleep. Things will work out, I promise you.”

“I really hope so, Mom,” I said. “If I didn’t know enough how important Emma was to me before, I definitely know it now. And the baby too. That baby is definitely at the top of my mind. I’m just glad they’re okay and getting treatment.”

“Me too,” she said.

“I’ll let you go. I love you,” I said before hanging up.

I walked downstairs and requested to eat dinner in my room, mustering a smile for the innkeeper. She went into the kitchen, came out with a tray of food, and handed it to me. I thanked her and turned back to the stairs.

“I’m sorry,” she said calling out. “I heard that Emma was taken to the hospital today. I was worried and wondered, since you two are friends, if you knew anything about how she and the baby were doing?”

“They’re okay,” I said. “They’ll be fine. They just need rest.”

“Good,” she said, ringing her hands. “Have a good evening.”

“You too,” I said, heading back up to the room.

I sat there at the window barely touching my dinner, watching the cars pass by on the road and wondering if there would ever be enough time for Emma to get past everything that happened.