We watched Elf. It’s a classic, but I was bummed Luke didn’t watch it with me. He never came down from his room after our little game that I lost miserably.

I’m pretty shocked he didn’t take full advantage of his bragging rights. I mean, technically he did win. And technically, I do need to give him free reign for Little Man’s middle name.

I shudder at the thought.

I also owe him something else, if only I knew what it was. Why in the world was I stupid enough to bet so blindly? I mean, seriously? That’s got to be in the top ten dumbest things I’ve ever done. Although, from his absence tonight, it looks like I won’t be paying up any time soon.

I can’t decide whether that’s a good thing or not. The anxiety of the unknown is eating me alive. I can’t stop glancing toward the staircase any time I hear a creak in the old house.

After Elf, everyone decides to watch a double feature. And by everyone, I mean Bree and her parents. Luke is still missing, and Jake is busy gaming, or at least that’s what I assume. I, however, am exhausted and decide to call it a night.

I head to the bathroom on the second floor and wash my face. I would get into my pajamas, but I’m already in them so…yup. No need for those. I pull my hair into a small messy bun at the base of my neck and pee one more time so that I won’t have to roll out of bed in a few hours.

Have I ever mentioned how freaking often you need to go to the bathroom when you’re pregnant? I swear, as soon as you pee on that little stick, your bladder shrinks to the size of a pea.

Afterwards, I open Bree’s bedroom door, which is where I’ve been staying. It’s decorated in cream and lavender. Very girly. Very Bree. There’s a queen-sized bed in the center of the room with a paisley comforter and a dozen mismatched pillows. My favorite touches are the cat posters decorating the walls. As I’m about to climb into bed, my phone dings with an incoming text.

I see Luke’s name flash on the screen, my heart skipping a beat before quickly opening up the message.

Luke: You ready to pay up, Sweetheart?

Liv: I’m not sure, since I still don’t know what I owe you.

Luke: That’s half the fun. Do you trust me?

I hesitate before replying. Do I trust him?

Liv: Maybe a little too much.

Luke: Don’t worry. I won’t let you down. Come outside.

My forehead creases. Outside?

Liv: Like, outside, outside?

Luke: Duh. Bring a jacket.

I roll my eyes, as he’s still my same old Luke. After our little game, I didn’t know what to expect. Especially since he disappeared on me.

Liv: Fine. But you owe me.

I see the little bubble showing he’s typing something. As I wait for his reply, I slip on some snow boots and my grey North Face coat. My phone dings with another incoming text.

Luke: No, Sweetheart. YOU owe ME. That’s why you’re coming out in the first place. Silly pregnancy brain.

I catch myself smiling at my phone before opening Bree’s door and waddling down the stairs toward the front door.

I open it to find Luke standing with his hands in his coat pockets. His shoulders are bunched up to protect himself from the cold, and his dark hair is lightly speckled with white snowflakes. His cheeks are tinged pink from the winter air, and he’s smiling shyly at me.

I’ve never really seen Luke nervous before, but that’s definitely how he’s acting right now. He slowly rocks back and forth on his heels, his eyes shifting between me and the beautiful winter wonderland encompassing the front yard.

“Hi,” he says, shyly.

“Hi,” I reply, smiling. Luke’s pretty cute when he’s nervous.

“So…” he pauses. “How ya doin’?”

I laugh as he tries to make small talk. “A little chilly actually.” I grin. “Any chance you wanna tell me what we’re doing out here before I catch a cold?” I tease, enjoying watching him squirm.

He shrugs noncommittally before grabbing my frozen hand with his warm one and leading me off the porch. “Walk with me for a minute.” He pulls me along before I have a chance to reply.

Laughing again, I release his hand and wrap my arm around his strong bicep, leaning my head against his shoulder. We slowly make our way under a giant maple tree in the front yard. It’s covered in twinkling Christmas lights and white powdery snow. We follow a set of footprints packed into the ground until we’re standing directly underneath a few tall branches.

“I’m sorry I disappeared. I just needed some time to wrap my head around a few things,” he apologizes to me while running his hand over his hair. It’s slightly damp from the snow. The moisture causes his hair to stand up in every direction, making him look as though he just rolled out of bed.

He looks sexy as hell.

I silently berate myself, trying to focus on the conversation and not how attractive Luke is. Which is a surprisingly difficult task, given how the moonlight is making his eyes sparkle. I giggle to myself, imagining how embarrassed Luke will feel if I let him know I just described his eyes as sparkly.

His eyebrow quirks before he asks, “What’s so funny?” Obviously, his curiosity has gotten him a little off track from his original purpose.

I shake my head back and forth, giggling hysterically as I imagine my daydream coming to fruition. “Your eyes are particularly sparkly right now,” I huff out between bouts of laughter.

He throws his head back, laughing, before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into a hug. It’s a little difficult with my belly in the way, but he somehow manages.

Luke starts to rock me back and forth, swaying gently, as he continues chuckling. “See, Liv? This is why you’re perfect. I was having an absolute meltdown after our little game inside, afraid I had ruined our friendship by being too open or something, and yet you find a way to bring me back down to earth and help me step away from the ledge of insanity.” He places a gentle kiss on the crown of my head as I nuzzle closer.

I smirk before repeating his words into his chest, “Ledge of insanity, Luke? Really?”

I feel his chest shake slightly from chuckling. “You know what I mean!” he says, exasperated. “I’m just so grateful I have this, Liv.” He pauses and clears his throat. “That I have you.” His voice loses its humor as he finishes his statement quietly, making me wonder if I was supposed to hear that last part or not.

I slowly lift my head from the warmth of his chest, our arms still wrapped around each other. I can feel the importance of this particular moment. I know this is Luke being honest. Vulnerable. He isn’t hiding behind his sarcasm or his sense of humor. He isn’t hiding behind a game of chicken, or even Adam for that matter. He’s laying it all out there, which he’s never done before.

I slowly lick my lips, letting his simple declaration sink in. His cheeks are flushed, and I can see his breath in the chilly air. He’s grateful he has me. And for once, I’m not sure he’s talking about that in a platonic sense.

Luke takes his calloused palm and lightly grasps my jaw, his other hand on my lower back. He’s holding me in place carefully as if I’m a fragile china doll and he’s afraid I might slip through his fingers.

“I know I’m not Adam, and that I’ll never be him,” he swallows thickly. “I know you won’t ever really get over him, and that I’ll always be second place, but I’m okay with that. I’m okay as long as I can share a small piece of you. I know I’ll never have all of you. I get that. But I’m sick of waiting. Hoping. Questioning every single thing I do around you. Wondering if I should give you more time, or if you might feel the same way.”

He tilts my chin toward his as he leans closer. I can feel his breath on my face. I can practically taste the peppermint on his tongue. His green eyes stare into mine, pinning me in place, marking my soul with their sincerity.

“I’m done playing it safe,” he whispers. “I’m taking what I should have that first day in class, instead of being a coward and letting you slip through my fingers.” His lips are so close to mine I can almost feel them against my own as he whispers, quietly. “And now I’m going to taste you, like I’ve wanted to since the first time I saw you.”

My eyes notice the mistletoe hanging from the branch directly over our heads, causing me to smile softly as Luke leans closer. “Mistletoe, Luke?” I whisper, teasingly against his lips. “You didn’t think your little speech was gonna get you any action?”

I can feel his smile sweep across my own. “A guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do,” he whispers back, his lips brushing against mine like a butterfly’s kiss. “Now shut up and let me kiss you.” His grip tightens slightly before his lips tenderly touch my own. My eyelids slowly slide closed as I relish his touch. His mouth is so soft against my own as he lightly nibbles my lower lip.

I’m only stunned for a moment before I tightly grasp his forearm, holding him in place, remembering it takes two to tango. I stand on my tiptoes, my other hand gripping his coat and pulling him closer to me. He growls deep in his throat before he deepens the kiss, tilting my head where he wants me to be. He’s possessive as his tongue slips into my mouth, coaxing my own to tangle with his. He tastes exactly how I’ve imagined he would. Like peppermint and hot chocolate.

He tastes perfect.

My chest rises and falls quickly as I try to catch my breath between kisses. His luscious lips start to slow. He pulls away slightly, pressing a tender kiss to my mouth once more. My eyes are still closed, and I begin to wonder if I’m dreaming, while praying that I’m not.

This simple kiss feels more right than anything I’ve ever experienced.

I’m flooded with so many emotions it’s ridiculous. I want to laugh and cry at the exact same time. Maybe it’s the hormones?

Guilt tries to press its way in, but I push it away, refusing to ruin such a perfect moment. I’m standing underneath the mistletoe surrounded by snow, Christmas lights, and the warmth of Luke’s embrace.

It really is perfect.

And while I don’t want to ruin said perfection, I can’t help the words that quietly slip from my lips. “You’ll never be second, Luke.”

I whisper it so softly, I’m not even sure he hears me. I’m afraid my words might be swept away in the gentle breeze, but I need him to understand that there’s never been a comparison between him and Adam. His brief confession before our kiss broke my heart. I don’t want him to ever see himself as a lesser man than Adam.

He isn’t. He never was.

He just wasn’t quite fast enough, and Adam beat him to the punch, so to speak. Despite that, we can’t change the past, and I wouldn’t want to. But I do need him to understand that I can’t be with someone who compares themselves to my deceased husband, so I decide to repeat myself a little more loudly this time.

“Luke.” I look into his vibrant eyes, making sure I have his full attention before continuing. “You’ll never be second.”

Luke places a gentle kiss on my frozen nose, his lips scorching me with their heat.

“You’re freezing, Sweetheart,” he whispers, taking in my rosy cheeks and cherry red nose. An affectionate smile is covering his face, his eyes still sparkling.

I’ve said my piece so I decide to let it go, savoring our closeness instead of focusing on his bitter remark from earlier.

“Well yeah,” I reply. “Some idiot led me outside to freeze to death just so he could get some action,” I smirk up at him, teasingly.

He chuckles good-naturedly before grabbing my hand.

“Come on Smartass. Let’s get you some Cocoa and thaw out your pretty little fingers.” He lifts my hand and kisses it lightly before leading me back toward the house. I wrap my frozen hand around his bicep again, resting my head against his shoulder once more, grinning from ear to ear as we trudge through the snow.

Best. Bet. Ever.