I lied.

When I said I was cool with Trisha spending the night in the room across the hall, I definitely lied.

It’s been two weeks since our night out, and I guess Trisha got sick of being banned from the apartment. Or maybe Luke finally took my awful advice and invited her over.

Regardless, I’m lying awake in bed, and I can’t help but hear them going at it like rabbits.

Seriously, with squealing, and thumping, and squeaking. Ok, maybe not exactly like rabbits. It’s more moaning than squealing, and the squeaking is from the bed, not them. But you get the idea.

I’m pretty sure my cheeks couldn’t get any redder. And these damn pregnancy hormones are not helping the situation. It’s not like I’m getting laid anytime soon, and I’ve been pretty okay about it until I can hear what I’m missing out on from across the hall.

I can’t help but notice the time, giving Luke a mental high-five for his stamina. And then, after realizing I just mentally high-fived my best friend for his bedroom prowess, I throw the covers over my head, even more embarrassed.

How am I going to face them in the morning? Do I ignore the situation? Comment on their performance? Maybe make a few suggestions that might enhance their experience? Uh…never mind. It sounds like I won’t need to make many of those.

Gah.

I throw the covers off of me. This is ridiculous. It’s 3:00 am, and I need to sleep. Luke needs to sleep. I feel like his mother. “Sorry honey! Curfew! Time to finish up and go to bed now.” I laugh dryly, knowing his mother has no idea how sexy her son is.

Wait.

Did I just say Luke is sexy? Nope. Not at all. These hormones are seriously messing with my brain.

I put the pillow over my head and try not to think about my not-sexy best friend doing it down the hallway.

--

The next morning I stumble into the kitchen in my sleep shorts and tank top, my hair a disheveled mess, and grab a glass of orange juice. My baby belly is finally starting to show now that I’m about halfway through my pregnancy. While gulping down my OJ, I hear giggling coming from down the hall.

Seriously? Again?

I roll my eyes as Luke’s bedroom door opens and Trisha walks out.

Oh. Apparently, there’s no round three for today after all.

Bummer.

She sees me at the kitchen counter and smiles. It almost looks genuine. “Morning, Liv. How was your night?” She’s definitely not as hostile as when we first met. I have to give her points for trying. I know it can’t be easy sharing your sexy boyfriend with his high school best friend.

See? There’s that word again. I have got to stop describing him that way.

“Just lovely,” I say, as I try to maintain eye contact and not look too uncomfortable.

Her olive skin tinges with pink. “Oh no! I am so sorry if we made you uncomfortable!”

Well, so much for trying to look laid back.

I open my mouth to reply as Luke walks into the room, his hair still damp from a shower. He must not have had time to shave. I can still see his scruff from yesterday. He has a white t-shirt on and dark jeans that hang low on his hips.

He looks good. Really good. Apparently, sex is great for his beauty regimen.

I’m caught with my mouth hanging open as Luke smirks at me.

“Morning, Liv.” He gives me a little head nod before turning to Trisha. “Ready to go, Babe? I don’t want you to be late.”

I have no idea what she’s late for, but I suddenly hope her car breaks down on the way.

“Yeah, let me just get my stuff. Bye Liv!”

I wave awkwardly in the open kitchen. She grabs her purse and heads toward the front door as Luke trails behind. I try to stay focused on my orange juice, but I see Luke’s strong arms wrap around her waist from the corner of my eye. She giggles again as Luke buries his face in her hair and kisses her neck. Trisha tilts her head to the side, granting him more access. I find myself staring for what feels like an hour, but surely must’ve only been a minute.

I think I might be sick.

Turning all the way around, I face the hallway instead of the make-out session by the front door.

I can feel my cheeks heating and decide to go hide out in my room. I pause mid-step, hearing the front door close. I’m not sure if Luke decided to walk Trisha to her car or not until I hear his footsteps on the dark hardwood floors.

I don’t know why I feel like I just got caught doing something I shouldn’t have. It’s not like I was spying on them or anything, but I suddenly have a strong desire to blend into the cabinetry. Unfortunately, my hot pink tank top makes for horrible camouflage.

“Whatcha doin’?” Luke asks with a sly grin.

I’ve been caught. Doing what? I’m not exactly sure, but my cherry-red face is back with a vengeance.

“Nothing. I was just going to go take a shower,” I say, speaking into my OJ glass, refusing to look at him. As I move to walk past him, he gently grabs my arm, preventing my escape.

“What’s going on, Liv? You were the one who wanted me to invite her over here.” His voice is teasing, but his eyes aren’t. I can tell his question isn’t rhetorical. Why am I struggling with this? It’s not a big deal. He’s never been one to shy away from PDA.

While Adam and I were together, Luke always had a revolving door of girls joining us for movies, date nights, high school dances, and the list goes on. I’d caught him, on multiple occasions, in compromising positions. It had never really bothered me then. Why is it bothering me now?

It must be those damn pregnancy hormones. That’s the only conclusion I can come up with.

I shrug the shoulder he’s still gripping, but he doesn’t remove his warm grasp. I hold his stare before licking my lips and whispering, “It feels different than before.”

His eyes zero in on my mouth, neither of us moving. I suddenly recognize how close we’re standing. I can feel his warm breath on my face and can practically taste the mint from his toothpaste on his lips. His other hand gently slides over my hip, turning me to face him more fully, our eyes never breaking contact. His thumb slips under the hem of my shirt and slowly glides across the sliver of exposed skin.

I know I should feel embarrassed for my proclamation, and I do. I have no idea where that came from, but I can’t make myself break the spell that’s come over us. I feel as though a dam is about to burst, and I’m not sure I’ll survive the wreckage.

There’s a knock on the door, causing us both to jump. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one enraptured.

He clears his throat, releasing my arm before opening the door. Goosebumps erupt on my body from the loss of his heat.

“Hey Baby. I forgot my cell.” Trisha walks over to the mocha coffee table and grabs her phone, her heels clicking on the floor. She turns around and pulls Luke in for another steamy kiss before walking out the door.

I squeeze my eyes together tightly, then rush down the hall to the sanctuary of the bathroom.

A hot shower is exactly what I need.

Or maybe a cold one.

Luke

Why do I feel guilty right now? Especially when it’s for all the wrong reasons. I wasn’t trying to shove Trisha in Liv’s face.

I wasn’t.

I was trying to put Liv back in the “friend” box, which is where she needs to stay.

The problem was how Liv looked when I walked in the kitchen after Trisha exited my bedroom. And the look on Liv’s face when she saw me kiss her goodbye. That wasn’t a friendly, ew, kissing is gross, face. That was an, I’m jealous that wasn’t me, face.

And her confession? I felt as though she’d punched me in the stomach with her fragile little fists. What did she mean by that? “It feels different than before?” I wish I could read her mind, though I’d probably just be even more confused.

And that thing that almost happened afterward? That wasn’t when I felt guilty. That was when all felt right in my world. She felt so perfect in my hands, her bare skin warm beneath my fingers.

Until I remembered the simple fact that she isn’t mine.

And she never will be.