After some delicious hot chocolate and leftover cinnamon rolls, I finally head upstairs. I’m both physically and emotionally exhausted from the long and eventful day. Ahem, and night.

I kissed Luke.

These three words have been running nonstop through my head, even during our late-night snack when Luke and I chatted with his parents. We acted as if nothing really happened, but I can’t stop thinking about it.

His lips touching mine, softly. Teasing me. Tasting me. His hands holding me firmly in place, bending me to his will. The heat of his body scorching mine through all our layers of clothing. His smile afterwards, like he was the luckiest person on the planet.

I sigh, dreamily.

I kissed Luke. I still can’t believe it really happened as I slip through Bree’s bedroom door. Mixed emotions are swirling inside of me, changing from elated to guilty, shocked, confused, then back to ecstatic in a never-ending roller coaster.

The one thing I’m certain of is that I don’t regret it. At all. I just don’t know what this turn of events means for my baby and me.

I’m not sure what I want it to mean.

Before I can even begin to wrap my head around the kiss, I catch Breezy sitting on her bed cross-legged, with a devious grin on her face like the cat who ate the canary.

My cheeks immediately heat, and I avoid eye contact, choosing to stare at her cutesy cat poster instead.

“What?” I ask as innocently as possible, shrugging my shoulders. I decide to play oblivious. Maybe she doesn’t know anything. Although she is a nosey little thing.

“Don’t ‘what’ me, missy!” she bosses, climbing off the bed and placing her hands on her hips. She’s wearing dark blue Victoria’s Secret yoga pants with PINK written on her bum and a coral colored tank top. Her hair is in a loose braid, hanging over her left shoulder. She looks like a mom who just caught her teenage daughter sneaking in after curfew. Her toes are anxiously tapping the carpet and everything.

I snort at the ridiculousness of the situation. One, I’m older than her. Two, I’m already knocked up, so what more could happen? And three, I’ve never had a single person wait up to yell at me if I was out past curfew. Because I never was. But that’s beside the point. My Grandma was always asleep by 8:30pm, so I could pretty much do whatever I wanted.

While it’s refreshing to know someone other than Luke or Adam cares about my well being, I’m still not sure I’m ready to admit to that someone that I kissed Luke.

I kissed Luke.

I sigh dreamily, again.

A ghost of a smile touches my lips before I remember to school my features. Apparently, I’m not quick enough because Bree is instantly waving her finger at me, pointing at my not-so-good poker face.

“I saw that!” she shouts. “Now tell me exactly what happened! I need details!”

My smile returns with a vengeance, nearly splitting my face in half. My heart begins to race as I remember Luke’s lips on mine.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I answer mischievously, walking toward the bed and sitting down.

Her eyes narrow as she keeps her finger pointed in my direction. “Don’t give me that bull. We both know you’re hiding something. Now where have you been?” she asks, accusingly.

I debate on whether I should tell her or not, but finally decide to throw her a bone. Her neutral opinion on the matter might help me sort through all these mixed emotions. Not that she’s very unbiased, but still.

I clear my throat before blurting, “I kissed Luke.” I bite my lower lip, anxious to see her reaction.

“I knew it!” she screams, jumping up and down.

I launch off the bed (which is quite the feat for a pregnant woman) and cover her mouth with my hand.

“Shh! Will you shut up?” I whisper-yell at her.

She licks my palm, causing me to squeal and release her. I wipe my hand on my pajamas before sticking out my tongue in her direction. “Ew. Gross.”

She laughs good-naturedly before wrapping me in a bear hug.

“Finally!” she huffs. “I’ve been waiting for this day since forever!”

I pull away from our embrace, my eyebrow raised. “What do you mean forever?”

“Oh, come on, Liv,” she says, exasperated. “You’re telling me that you had no idea he’s been in love with you forever? And that he’d do anything for you? And that you marrying Adam was the hardest thing he’s ever had to live with? And that you living with him has been the sweetest torture imaginable?” Bree asks, batting her eyelashes in my direction.

I feel my jaw drop, shocked at her blunt assessment. I guess I shouldn’t be, since that’s what Breezy’s known for. Her frank honesty.

I bite my lip again, taking in her statement. I’m not sure I’m ready for how quickly she mentioned the “L” word.

Luke and I kissed. And it was incredible. I don’t regret it. I would definitely like to do it again and again in the near future. But am I ready to commit to him? Can I commit to him? I’m not really sure. I don’t want to hurt him, and I definitely don’t want to lose him.

I honestly don’t know what to do.

Was it wrong to kiss him? It definitely didn’t feel wrong. In fact, it felt right. All kinds of right. So right, that I’m weak in the knees just thinking about it. And this isn’t just some guy. This is Luke. My Luke. My best friend. The Liv Whisperer. He’s the one person I know I can lean on. The one person who is always there for me. Or at least, he was.

Why did he leave all those years ago? But maybe it doesn’t matter why he left. Maybe all that matters is that he’s here now. And he’s made it clear that he isn’t going anywhere.

I trust him. I do.

Adam isn’t coming back. He’s gone, and he would want me to be happy. Luke makes me happy. All Adam ever cared about was that I was taken care of, that I was loved. And Luke loves me. Or at least I think he does. Bree thinks he does.

My thoughts are swirling over and over in a never-ending whirlpool, so much so that I start to feel nauseated.

Bree grabs my hand and pulls me toward the bed, effectively snapping me out of my spinning thoughts. She sits next to me on the bed and wraps her arm around my shoulders.

“Stop overthinking things, Liv,” she commands. “Everything will turn out exactly the way it needs to be.” She rocks me back and forth slightly, her nurturing instincts kicking in. Part of me wants to chuckle at how much she’s babying her crazy friend she hasn’t seen in five years, and the other part wants to snuggle in closer, grateful for her friendship and her stability.

We sit there for a few minutes before Bree finally breaks the silence.

“So…” she grins knowingly. “How was it?”

I laugh before burying my face in the pillow and raising my hand up in the air, giving her a thumbs up.

She giggles hysterically. “Atta boy, Luke!”

Luke

I kissed her.

I freaking kissed her! I want to pound my fists against my chest and drag her back to the nearest cave like a Neanderthal. It was just a kiss, but it was damn near perfect.

I hope she doesn’t regret it. Regret me.

Now that I’ve tasted her, I can’t lose her. No one will ever compare. No one ever has, and I didn’t even know what I was missing before.

I kissed her.