I wake up the same way I have the past two mornings since I’ve been staying with Xander. I’m conflicted and a little frustrated as I rub my bleary eyes.
Xander still refuses to sleep in bed with me so he’s leaning against the mattress from his spot on the floor. My hand is buried in his hair, my body is curled around his head, and my legs are hanging over his left shoulder. This definitely isn’t the most practical position but I’ve gotten used to it. I’ve accepted that Xander won’t spend the night any closer than this. For now.
The biggest problem I’m currently dealing with is my raging hormones. I’m so freaking horny because I’m constantly assaulted with Xander’s sexiness. He’s driving me wild with lust but isn’t rushing to ease my desperate ache. I think drastic measures are in order.
Don’t get me wrong, the last forty-eight hours have been fantastic. Once Xander told me about Jones, he found plenty of random stories to share. I heard a lot about the Corporal at first but then Xander found new subject matter. He willingly told a few tales about the soldiers from his unit but I could tell those were much harder to divulge. I’m totally blissed out that he’s starting to trust me again.
I haven’t forgotten about his tattoo or his admission of loving me. That was before he came back and we reunited so how does he feel now? I think we’ve left that topic alone for the time being and are just focusing on being near each other again.
I don’t need a label or a serious commitment, at least not yet. It would be nice to be aware of his current thoughts and feelings though.
Is he keeping me around to stave off his darkness or is he hoping for more? Am I here strictly as his friend? Does Xander just see me as a screw buddy or is there relationship potential?
There is so much we need to discuss.
We had crazy hot sex but maybe that was a one time, heat of the moment, deal. Xander hasn’t shown any interest in a repeat performance since our kiss in the woods. I’ve been dropping plenty of blatant hints but I get nothing in return.
When we sit on the couch, I’ve made sure to eagerly climb on his lap so we can snuggle close. He receives plenty of scorching kisses whenever the mood strikes me, which is always. When Xander gets undressed, I make sure to be extremely obvious that I’m checking out his fantastically ripped body. Aside from hopping on top and taking what I want, I’ve tried everything.
Our limited physical connections have been dynamite, clearly, but I’m discovering the complexity of my love for Xander all over again. Broken pieces and all.
I’m constantly driving myself mad obsessing over these details. The urge to get answers to these petty questions strengthens the more time I spend here. I’ve figured out what I want but I have no clue what Xander is thinking. He’s got a ton to deal with already.
I’ve noticed subtle signs of panic throughout the day, such as his eyes rapidly darting around the room searching for threats. A few times he’s leapt from his chair and started pacing around manically, muttering under his breath. The good news is these instances have been happening less frequently the longer I’ve stayed but I still notice.
Xander is slowly opening up to me in ways he’s comfortable with. I should happily accept the noticeable changes Xander has already made, and not put more pressure on him, but mixing in a little fun never hurt anyone. Especially if it benefits both of us.
He allowed me to take over his home and rearrange his personal belongings however I pleased. I wanted to try pushing the limits a few times by purposely doing stuff that used to drive Xander crazy. It makes me sound so rotten but I was desperate for him to unleash his passionate side again.
It was time to find a solution for this dry patch we’ve been lingering in. I stretch my tired limbs as I roll onto my back. My jerky movements wake Xander and he gradually begins shifting around. I toss out a loud groan for good measure and arch my back further. The shirt I’m wearing lifts up past my hips to expose my bare butt to the cool air. When I glance back at Xander, his focus is zoomed in on my naked skin. Turns out there is a definite benefit to running out of clean panties. This might be easier than I thought.
“Good morning.” My voice rasps and sounds sultry even to my own ears. Upon hearing my words, Xander snaps his eyes away from my body before mumbling an unintelligible response.
I don’t let that deter my plans. I bounce to the end of the mattress and slide my feet to the floor. I walk around to where Xander sits on the floor, making sure to add extra sway to my hips.
He tips his head up to look at me before lifting a brow in question. “What’s up, Willow? You look suspicious as hell.” Apparently nothing gets past this guy. Except all my previous, extremely obvious, advances.
I pretend to be oblivious and casually shrug my shoulders. “A shower sounds like a good way to start the day. After breakfast, I figure I can finish the scarf I started yesterday unless you have other ideas?”
Xander continues staring at me with a bland expression so I turn away and sashay toward the bathroom. Halfway there, I grip the bottom hem of my shirt and deliberately take my sweet time taking it off.
A quick glimpse over my shoulder confirms Xander is watching my little striptease. A flirty grin lifts my lips as I walk over the threshold and grip the doorknob. Xander’s signature growl filters across the space but I don’t allow the sexy noise to distract me.
The water turns on with a hiss and I step back to let it warm up. I look around the small room and wish the mirror was intact. By this point, my appearance must be atrocious. Xander only has the essentials, which does not include conditioner or a brush. Don’t get me started on the lack of moisturizer around here. Thankfully, I’m not too high maintenance and I’d learned to survive with far less while frequently camping over summer weekends.
Once the steam starts rising, I hastily step under the stream. I’m just getting my hair wet when the shower curtain is ripped open. A shrill shriek slips from my throat even though I had been hoping Xander would interrupt at any moment.
He looks furious but I recognize lust shining bright in his blue eyes. “You think you can just sneak away after teasing me, Willow? You won’t get away with that shit.”
Is he serious right now? I obviously wanted him to chase me. I’ll spell it out for him if that’s what he needs. I take a small step back so the water is no longer spraying my face.
I deliberately drag my tongue along my already wet lips. “I was hoping for some company in here. I’ll wash your back if you wash mine.”
Shock registers on his face. I’m not usually so bold but I’m done waiting.
“When did you become such a vixen? Tell the truth, Willow, you’re not interested in getting clean. What you really want is to get dirty.” Xander’s tone hints at his arousal, which is confirmed when I check out the substantial bulge jutting out from his shorts.
All I could do was whisper, “yes.”
The way Xander is staring at me heats my core past boiling. He seems ready to devour me as he trails his gaze along my naked flesh.
He doesn’t hesitate once he jumps into the tub and backs me against the cool tiles. Before I can blink, Xander’s head swoops down and his lips brutally meet mine. I graciously relax my jaw so his searching tongue can explore the depths of my mouth. Our parted lips are fused together and the intimate connection causes my heart to race.
Xander’s slick chest easily slides along mine and the sensation against my nipples has me moaning into our kiss. I hate the fabric barrier between our hips and I desperately wanted it gone. My hands fly to the waistband of Xander’s briefs with the intention of getting rid of them.
He separates from my lips to suck along my jaw. Once he’s near my ear, he gently bites the lobe before muttering some straight sexiness.
“Are you aching? Do you need relief, Willow?” Xander’s grumbled words momentarily distract me.
My charged response was immediate. “Oh my gosh, yes! Please, Xander. Don’t make me wait.” I rock into him so he’ll know exactly how he was affecting me.
“I’m not going to fuck you, Willow. Not like this.”
I freeze once his statement registers past the lust clouding my brain. Why the heck wouldn’t he want sex? This better not be some stupid game or his way of getting back at me for taunting him.
He speaks again before I have a chance to ask what his problem is. “The next time I sink deep into your body, we’ll be in my bed, where you belong. Then I can properly take care of you exactly how I’ve imagined worshipping you since I was a horny little boy.”
Xander licks along my neck before continuing. I shiver in anticipation. “I’m still ashamed of what happened our first time and I won’t do that rushed shit again. You’re testing my good intentions and I almost want to say fuck it, but I won’t do that again. No matter how fucking hot you are begging for it.”
Dang, he knows how to reach me.
“Let’s go then. I’m ready, Xander. I need you.” I’m impatient and frantic and I know my voice comes out in a whine. Xander nips my skin before sucking the sting away.
“Not yet, Willow. I have plans and you’re too worked up for me follow through with them. I’ll ease your throbbing for now though. Don’t fucking worry.” As he speaks, his hand snakes between my thighs to emphasize his meaning. His fingers slip through my tingling slit and sparks ignite through my lower body. Xander alternates between biting, kissing, and sucking as he makes a path to my collarbone. He leans down so his mouth can feast on my breasts. Then he slips a nipple into his mouth and sucks. Hard. It feels so freaking amazing an aching throb hums through me, especially combined with his attention to my core.
His touch centers on my clit and spins rapid circles around the bundle of responsive nerves. The pulsing sensations are overwhelming and this is just from his fingers. My nails claw at his arms as I attempt to anchor myself to him through this intense pleasure.
When he eases a thick digit into my quivering center, I lose my breath on a gasp.
Holy crap.
I can’t fathom anything better until he rubs the hidden spot no one has ever found. My legs tremble then my entire body starts to shake. I snap my eyes closed as the flames engulf me. This powerful orgasm has me soaring and reeling like I’ve never experienced before. I’m floating yet I feel heavy at the same time.
I lose track of time as the vibrations continue coursing through me. When I finally regain control, my unfocused gaze peers down at the man placing delicate kisses along my stomach.
As if feeling my stare, Xander looks at me before breaking me apart further. “Was that good for you, baby?” He’s throwing around terms of endearment now? Xander is sprouting serious seeds within me that he wants me around for the long haul.
I run my fingers through his wet hair and let a relaxed smile lift my lips. I decide not to comment on the nickname in fear of ruining the moment.
The version of Xander I stumbled upon four days ago was already being a distant memory, and I was so thankful for that.