Another dreadful forty-eight hours have passed where I’ve contemplated driving out to Xander’s place over a bazillion times. I can’t overcome the heavy weight of guilt from abandoning him out there all alone but it is so much more than that. Even with my mom’s uplifting pep talks and Lark’s continuous hovering, I can’t be bothered to care about anything else.
There is a desperate urgency racing through my veins and I’m overcome with the need to have Xander’s strong arms wrapped around me. I need to tell him how much I love him and how agonizing it’s been since I’ve left. The fear of his rejection forces me to stay away. The uncertainty of Xander’s feelings gnaws an enormous hole of doubt into my mind.
I worry about his reaction to my leaving and what he’s doing now that I’m gone. If how he was living before I showed up is any indication, I have every right to be nervous. Xander was a complete wreck and I hate imagining him slinking back into that existence.
These daunting thoughts have been pestering me since I fled his house, and I’m slowly driving myself crazy. I can’t sleep, I barely eat, and functioning at work is obviously not a priority.
Why did I feel the desperate need to return to the city? Why didn’t I just stay with Xander? I should have known I couldn’t withstand any separation between us.
During my stay in the woods, I knew Xander was ruining me, but at the time it was an amazing thing. I cherished the faithful leap my heart took and appreciated the trust reflecting back at me in Xander’s eyes. I was irrecoverably his in every possible way. Now, that loyalty leaves me broken and useless. I can’t function without him.
I’ve just resigned myself to driving to Xander first thing in the morning, when a startling pounding begins at my front door. My head whips to the clock on my nightstand to see it’s 3:00 in the effing morning. Who is their right mind would be here at this time?
The nonstop banging gives me a sense of urgency so I jump into action without second thought. I peek through the side window but I can’t see a darn thing since it’s pitch black outside. I fumble for the light switch, but the glow isn’t much help. The looming figure on my stoop in covered in shadows.
I unlock the bolts before gripping the knob to let my visitor inside. Once the door is creaked open, I get a solid look at the version of Xander I was terrified would return. His head remains lowered but I can see his entire form shaking and trembling uncontrollably. Despite everything between us, I’ve lost any hesitation when it comes to this man so I don’t think twice before reaching out to him at the same time he steps forward.
I’m crushed against his quaking frame with my next breath. As his arms band around me, the tension begins to slowly seep out and Xander sags into our embrace. His hooded head nuzzles along my hair as he clutches me impossibly tighter.
The agonized groan that vibrates from his throat causes my body to shudder. The noise that escapes him gives voice to his suffering.
“Fuck, Wills. You have no idea how fucking good this feels.” Xander’s voice is beyond raspy, as though he hasn’t spoken a word in days. I clench my eyes shut against the sudden onslaught of tears when I realize the truth likely behind that thought.
He rolls his damp forehead against mine, which causes our noses to rub together. Every innocent touch is amplified due to our unwelcome separation. Xander clutches the fabric of my shirt in his tight fists as he draws me desperately closer, until no space exists between us.
Being held by Xander distracts me from all the pain our recent distant has caused. He’s here now and his hands grasping my hips feels so freaking great that my heart is pounding uncontrollably. His fingers dig deep into my skin and somehow drag me even closer. It appears Xander wants to fuse our bodies, which I eagerly reciprocate by clamping onto him with all my might.
As we stand here, clutching onto one another like our lives depend on it, my lungs expand in a relieved sigh since I’ve never been happier. It dawns on me that no matter what, from this point forward, I will be by his side. The smile splitting my face is ridiculously huge but I could care less as I snuggle into Xander’s chest.
With a deep inhale, I catch a whiff of something foul and cringe. The guilt slams into me all over again before I catch myself.
“How are you here? How is this possible?” My mumble is tinged with desperate awe.
What does it mean that Xander is at my house? His responding moan is a blend of relief and pain but either way he’s here with me.
He shifts slightly to lay his jaw along the top of my head. “That is a long story, which I fully intend on telling. Can we go inside first? I’m fucking freezing and I can feel the panic rising out here.” He sounds so sad that it cracks my already battered heart even further.
I’m already pulling him past the threshold as I utter, “Of course.” I stumble backward through the entrance hall toward the bathroom. Our slow shuffle ensures our bond doesn’t break as we near the door.
“There’s so much to discuss but would it be alright if we shower? We can wash this horrendous week away and start fresh?” My suggestion seems to please Xander because he’s already lowering my pajama shorts as we step onto the tiles. A small laugh bubbles out of me at his obvious hurry. “Would you prefer to take a bath or just rinse off quick?” I nod my head in the direction of the humongous tub that takes up half the room.
My question seems to yank Xander out of his haze and he halts our progress. He roughly scrubs a hand over his face on the way to lowering his hood. When his face comes into clear view, it takes all my control to stifle my gasp.
Xander looks like he’s on the verge of collapsing. His eyes are painfully bloodshot and his lids are extremely swollen. The dark circles below are so pronounced, they look like bruises. Sweeping my gaze over the rest of his handsome face only proves how impacted he was by my absence. Xander looks wrung out and totally exhausted, like he’s running on fumes.
He catches me staring but doesn’t shy away. He traces the bags under my eyes with a gentle fingertip before speaking. “Looks like we match, Wills.” My pulverized heart instantly soars as he connects our misery. It shouldn’t be sweet to have this in common, but it only proves how deep our connection runs.
I’m sure he can see the hearts and stars in my eyes, which has him leaning down to place a delicate kiss across my chapped lips. I easily melt into him and quickly forget about getting clean in favor of absorbing his affection. Xander breaks away far too soon and I try to follow him to remain locked together.
“You pretty much told me I reek so let’s take a fast shower, all right? Then we can . . . figure it out.” His pause leaves a lot open for interpretation and my imagination takes off with the wide range of possibilities.
I’m nodding in approval as we begin undressing each other. When Xander lifts the hem of my shirt over my breasts, his dog tags come into view. The loud hitch in his breath signals his awareness before his fingers brush over the metal while lightly grazing my sensitive skin. His heated gaze lingers on my chest but he raises those gorgeous baby blues to my face when I clear my throat.
“I’ll always be yours, X. Even if there are days we are apart, you’ll always be with me here.” I wrap my hand around his holding the tags over my heart to prove my point. “When I said I’d never take them off, I meant it. No matter what, remember?” My words are whispered but spoken with solid conviction that vibrates from my throat.
He leans further into my space before uttering, “I love you so fucking much, Wills.”
His lips descend upon mine for a brief but passionate kiss that expresses how intense our bond is through the electrical current passing between us.
Xander cranks on the water after tossing my tank top to the floor. Based on the state of Xander’s clothes, I’m not sure they will ever be suitable to wear again so I gladly remove the stained material from his skin.
We’re naked in record time and then clumsily fall under the hot stream. I start rubbing soap along every inch of Xander’s body before he returns the favor. We race through the motions in order to get the job done, only stealing a few sexually suggestive touches along the way.
When we’ve deemed ourselves clean enough, Xander tenderly wraps a fluffy towel around my dripping form before hastily wiping himself dry. My teeth are chattering from the chill in the air as I gaze at this amazing man standing beside me. I still can’t believe he’s here.
I so better not be dreaming.
Without a word, Xander scoops me into his arms before beginning his search for my bedroom. I give a helpful gesture in the correct direction and his long strides quickly bring us to the edge of my mattress. Xander glides me down his slippery skin while lowering my feet to the floor. Sparks dance along my flesh from the sensation as a shudder rolls through me.
My palms flatten against his pecs and I get lost in his molten stare. “I’m so glad you’re here, X. I still don’t understand how but I am extremely grateful. I was really struggling and planned to drive to your house in the morning, just so you know. I’m fine with spending the rest of the night cradled in your arms but we’re going to talk about what happened soon. I bite my lower lip to trap the words I actually want to say. I desperately want answers but more than that I need to feel Xander’s body connect with mine. I crave the intimacy that making love provides but I won’t push it.
Xander scoffs before shaking his head, sending droplets from his wet hair flying. “Don’t talk crazy, Willow. All I fucking need right now is to be buried inside you. Get your ass in bed so we can make up properly. Then we’ll talk.” He emphasizes his point with a sharp slap to my towel-clad butt. I don’t need to be told again.
I hop onto the silky covers and scootch until I’m in the middle. I ease up onto my knees and beckon Xander closer with a crook of my pointer finger. He leaps at me, lacking any sort of grace, but the power behind his aggressive move boosts my raging arousal. He tries to take charge of the show but I push against his shoulders when he attempts to lay me down.
Xander follows my lead without any fight, and reclines his long body out next to me. He stretches his bulging arms above his head, which causes his ridiculously sexy abs to flex. I let an embarrassing loud moan escape because . . .
Dang, he’s so freaking hot.
He’s already hard as a steel pipe, his erection pointing directly toward those slabs of muscle on his torso. The swollen tip is leaking that makes my stomach grumble like I’m suddenly starving. I gladly climb astride his broad hips and align our most sacred regions. I wrap my fingers around his glorious shaft and slowly sink down until he’s sheathed within me completely. I’m so freaking soaked that it hardly takes any effort, and the instant pleasure is so intense, my spread thighs quiver as my entire being sighs in bliss. My pussy weeps in desire, which eases the sting of being stretched so wide, but I still have to sink down slowly to allow my core to accommodate Xander’s size.
His grip returns to my hips in a punishing hold as he groans low and slams his eyelids shut. “Shit, Wills. We gotta go slow or this will be over in a snap. I’ve missed you too fucking much.” He grits out through clenched teeth. I’m already on the edge with him and I definitely want to draw these delectable feelings out.
As I begin a tantalizing rhythm meant to ebb our impending orgasms, I lean down to place supple kisses against the scars marring his chest. I glide my palms against his damaged skin and let my love flow into him with every caress. Our bodies are deeply connected as our souls become tightly entwined.
Hitched breaths and startled gasps surround us as we become consumed by our passion. I’m lost in the seductive strokes and hypnotic thrusts when Xander takes control from below me. He sits up and envelops me in an unbreakable hold. I’m still straddling him and this position sends him unbelievably deeper. Our bodies slide together like perfectly matched puzzle pieces. My mouth hangs open in a silent scream as Xander alternates between whispering words of love and sucking along by jaw.
We continue worshiping and cherishing our reunion as seconds blend into minutes that make it seem like hours have passed. We’re drenched and covered in salty sweat but still keep pushing forward. My pulse is vibrating an irregular beat while Xander surges further into my core. The tingles start sparking and radiating throughout my tense form. My inner walls began spasming and clenching, effectively crushing Xander’s enormous dick inside me.
All of a sudden I’m on the brink way too soon, but that’s what Xander does to me. When I catch his blazing blues, I can tell he’s teetering on the edge of euphoria as well. While holding his unwavering stare, full of so much devotion, I let the release whisk me away. Once my body erupts in shudders, Xander leaps off the cliff with me.
We are waves crashing against ocean rock during high tide. Our climaxes join forces and blast through us. I feel Xander burst as his cum floods my fluttering pussy. My peak plateaus but the intensity doesn’t waver. We clutch onto one another as we ride the electric current jolting through our charged connection.
Eventually I sag into his chest, utterly depleted but extremely satisfied. My eyes drift close as the enormity of what just occurred blankets over me.
Between heaving breaths I hear Xander whisper, “I see you too, Wills.”