I’m startled awake by what sounds like a tree collapsing right by my head. I blink my tired eyes several times before taking in my surroundings. It only takes a quick moment for me to recall where I am and that I slept in Xander’s bed. His mattress is huge and smells so delicious, I want to roll around in the sheets in hopes that the scent will cling to me.
My mischievous thoughts are rudely interrupted by another loud THWACK.
Seriously, what is that?
My curiosity gets the best of me once again and instead of spending more time in this pillowy fortress, I roll to the edge and slide my feet to the floor. I stretch my stiff limbs before padding over to the covered window. When I lean over to take a peek through a crack in the boards, I almost fall over at the sight before me.
Xander is all I can see. It’s like an extreme case of tunnel vision.
Holy cow!
He looks so sexy in a plain gray shirt and faded jeans. His dark unruly hair is covered by a black beanie but my attention doesn’t linger there long. My eyes quickly scan back to his torso and the obviously damp fabric clinging to flexing muscles.
Wow.
I mean, yeah, wow.
Xander is freaking ripped.
My hands press against the rough wood as I very audibly gulp down the saliva that had been prepared to dribble down my chin. This is serious lady porn and I am not ashamed to admit it. An erotic vision filters into my conscious and the fantasy of Xander making me his, in every way possible, takes over.
First he needs to ditch that freaking shirt.
If Xander took off that soaking fabric to expose his sculpted abs and bulging biceps, I might spontaneously combust right here. Even without his muscles directly showing, my body flushes with an embarrassing level of arousal. I am extremely turned on by this man.
As I continue creeping like a stalker, I notice for the first time what Xander is doing. All that noise is from him splitting wood. He is confident and capable with the large axe in his hands. Xander must spend a lot of time cutting up trees and his body is very solid proof of his hard work.
Xander sets another log up before swinging the axe down in a sharp arc to split it perfectly down the center. The resounding thwack echoes through the trees and I swear it makes the wood beneath my hands vibrate. I watch him repeat this action over and over until I feel embarrassed for leering at him without his knowledge.
I turn away from the window and glance around the rest of the house. Calling this place a house is actually quite generous. It is definitely more of a cabin and needs serious remodeling. When I came in last night, I couldn’t see much but I could instantly tell the inside matched the crumbling exterior. It looks even more depressing in the light of day.
The walls are all bare and free of any decorations. There are mismatched pieces of furniture strewn about that look older than my mother. The kitchen is tiny and equipped for only the most basic tasks. The fireplace is a monstrosity and more of an eyesore than anything. I suppose it has the purpose of heating this place up but based off the chill in the air, probably needs to be replaced as well. For now, it couldn’t hurt to add another log to the glowing embers.
Xander’s bed is the focal point in the entire room and clearly the only thing he took time to pick out. Priorities and all that. I get distracted for a moment imagining his bulky body sprawled out on the unmade sheets. I bet his defined form would look mighty fine lying there. Too bad I’ll never get to witness it. He can’t seem to handle being around me for more than a few minutes without fleeing one way or another.
The hopelessness crashes down on me and I want to collapse under the overwhelming weight.
What am I doing here?
I’ve been trying to resurrect a connection that has been severed for too long. Xander claims he wants to be left alone but I’ve accidently managed to disrupt his solitude. Technically, it isn’t my fault that I’m stuck here but he clearly doesn’t see it that way.
Now I’m surrounded by his meager belongings after spying on his lumberjack routine. I need to get control over my wacky libido and put thoughts of banging Xander to rest. It’s definitely not going to happen.
I recall giving myself a very similar speech years ago. The occasion was vastly different but the topic was eerily familiar.
Wasn’t senior prom meant to be a night to remember? If that was the case, I was being seriously let down.
First of all, my date was not the guy I wanted to be with. Dave was fine but that was part of the issue. He didn’t give me butterflies or cause me to daydream about our future wedding. Dave was a substitute for the real deal, who happened to be dancing with another girl a few feet away.
Xander was slowly swaying to the music with Angela snuggled in his arms. Lucky freaking duck. She was clinging to him like a second layer of skin and it drove me bananas. All I could think about was dragging her away by that mop of poorly bleached hair. Gross.
Obviously, I was crazed with jealousy. Not that Xander would ever know. He wanted to be just friends with me so he could date a bimbo like Angela. I was getting pretty sick of watching their little display of inappropriate affection. Wasn’t there a rule about how much space there should be between dance partners?
Dave squeezed my palm, which reminded me I’m being extremely rude by completely ignoring him. When I glimpsed up at him, he smiled and I felt even worse. I should try harder with him. He’s a nice, dependable guy. A little boring but that’s all right. Urgh. Even thinking about it made me lose interest.
Dave moved closer to my side before speaking. “I’m going to grab a soda. Do you want anything?”
I shook my head and he walked off toward the coolers. My attention refocused on the happy couple still squished together. Thankfully my groan was drowned out by the music. Even though I’m positive he couldn’t have heard me, Xander snapped his head in my direction.
When he noticed I was alone, he untangled Angela from his body before strolling toward me. A lazy grin lifted one side of his perfect mouth and I got a little light headed from the visual impact.
As Xander approaches, I got a whiff of his trademark scent and had to clamp my jaw so a moan doesn’t break free. I couldn’t handle this much longer. He wrapped a muscular arm around my shoulder before whispering, “Why are you standing over here alone, Wills?”
I instinctively melted into him before responding. “Dave is getting something to drink.” I jerked my chin in the direction he went. Xander glanced over his shoulder before invading me with a serious blue-eyed stare.
Upon hearing my date’s name, I swore Xander’s eyes flashed with something possessive, but that can’t be right. His growly tone increased my suspicions though. “I still can’t believe you’re here with him. Seriously, Willow? What do you see in him?”
My defensive hackles rose. “You’re really one to talk, X. Should we talk about your new girlfriend over there? She looks ready to slit my throat based off that death glare she’s sporting.” I chuckled in annoyance as my frustration made my stomach churn. Maybe I should just go home.
Before I can make a move for the door, Xander yanked me onto the makeshift dance floor. In the next moment, I’m enveloped in his embrace as we start a smooth rhythm. I rested my head on his chest and released a heavy sigh.
“Angela isn’t my girlfriend.” I could barely hear him, but I made out his grunted words. I angled my face up so I could hear him better. “You could have fooled me.”
“Don’t be crazy, Wills. You know I wouldn’t date a girl like her.”
“So you’re just screwing her?” I felt my anger rising again.
Of course Xander picked up on my mood. “What’s your deal? This is supposed to be a fun night.”
“I’m crabby and Dave is dull. Being with you is the highlight of my evening.” I realized too late how that last part could be interpreted.
Xander closed the distance between us so our foreheads touched. Our breath exchanged in the small gap separating our mouths. If I shifted forward a bit, we would be kissing. It seemed like Xander had a similar thought because his ocean irises flashed with awareness. He inched closer and my inaudible gasp escaped. He must have felt my reaction being pressed together so close.
“I love spending time with you too, Wills.”
Our almost-kiss fades into the past where it belongs as I flop down into the nearby chair. Reminiscing about Xander being sweet is not helping my case and I need to knock it off. The sooner I can get out of here the better, but there is no way my car is moving without an intervention.
I can still hear the resounding thwack as Xander chops away while I finish perusing the cabin’s bleak atmosphere. I heave out a heavy sigh as I consider my options. What am I supposed to do now?