Marty
LEAVING FIONA IN BED WAS never easy, but I had to work today. We’d slept at her place last night, so I had to walk down to my apartment to get dressed. The shoebox was forgotten. I took it with me when I left with the intention of throwing it away here. I didn’t want Fiona to have to see it again.
Walking into the kitchen, I dropped the box in the trash before heading back to my room. Last night I saw just how vulnerable Fiona was. Her parents had done a number on her ability to trust. I knew that already. She was fragile and I had to be more careful with her.
One day, I wanted to believe my love would heal all that pain inside her. For now, I could practice patience. I would make sure things like that damn shoebox didn’t show up again. Fiona had realized she was overreacting without being told. That was progress.
I showered quickly and dressed, then headed back to the kitchen to grab something to eat before heading to the station. Mack was awake and standing at the bar with the shoebox I had thrown away in front of him, photos in his hands. There was a serious look on his face as he lifted his head and stared at me.
“This what had Fiona so worked up?”
I nodded and walked to the fridge. “Yes. Toss it.”
Mack sighed and put the photo down then leaned back against the cabinets and crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you sure you want to do that?”
Had he lost his mind? “Yes. I would think you’d be thrilled to hear it.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I need a fucking cigarette for this.”
What was his deal? I stood there holding the gallon of milk in my hand trying to understand what he was saying. “Why wouldn’t I want to get rid of it?”
Mack dropped his hand back to his chest and looked at me like he would rather be anywhere else but here. “Because Mary Grace came here to tell you something. She told me instead. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know if I should, but I don’t think I can let you toss your memories of her until you know. She’s got cancer. Stage four. Maybe six months to live.”
It felt like the oxygen was sucked out of the room. I stood there trying to make some sort of sense of the words Mack had just said, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t in love with Mary Grace but I had loved her. Thinking about her dying was something I wasn’t ready for. She was supposed to live a long full life somewhere with some Yale man.
This news threw everything off balance. I couldn’t understand how that could happen to Mary Grace. I knew I only had a place in my heart for Fiona. She was the one for me. But Mary Grace was my past. I had cared for her more than anyone else back then. How could I accept that her time was limited? That she was sick?
“Where is she living?” I asked thinking she couldn’t be at Yale still.
“Back home. With her parents. She lost a baby. She was pregnant when they found the cancer three months ago. They said the baby wouldn’t make it because Mary Grace wouldn’t make it long enough without chemo. They had to take the baby. It was too early.”
“Jesus!” I ran a hand through my hair thinking how unfair it was for someone as young as Mary Grace to not get a chance to live life.
“Keep the box,” Mack said. “I’m going to smoke a fucking pack of cigarettes,” he added then left me alone in the kitchen.
I stared at the box of memories. I thought about the plans we had made. The girl I had loved once. This all seemed unreal. It all seemed like a dream. I didn’t know how to accept it. Or how to deal with it.