Marty
I DOWNED ANOTHER WHISKEY AS I watched Fiona with the tall blonde guy dressed like an Abercrombie model. It was cliché and I kept scowling without meaning to.
Fiona was dressed in a blue dress made of thin fabric that clung to her as she moved. She was so stunning she stood out in the room. She always had. I watched her smile and I could see whatever he was saying wasn’t that funny to her. I knew her real smile. Her real laugh. She was acting.
“There’s probably some bad karma that comes with glaring at widowers,” Rowan said beside me.
“Shut up,” I snapped.
“Just go talk to her. Interrupt them. She would probably appreciate it. I don’t think he’s got her attention.”
I had thought about it. Considered it. Talked myself into and out of it fifty times in ten minutes. “What there isn’t karma for taking a woman away from a widower?” I asked sarcastically.
“Eh, probably,” Rowan said with a shrug. “But you’re so pathetic right now I can’t sit here and watch much more.”
“Then don’t. Find someone else to talk to,” I said waving my hand for her to go away.
“She didn’t glare at me. She smiled when she saw me. Not a big smile. Not a friendly one even. But it wasn’t a death glare or look of disgust. Which means you forgot to mention you informed her I was a lesbian.” Rowan swirled the whiskey in her glass grinning at me.
“Does it matter?” I asked knowing it wasn’t a secret.
“No, I guess not. Just thought it was interesting that you didn’t tell me. I was the key to bring out her jealousy and you tossed that away. Decided to let her know you were here single.”
I glowered at her. I hated when she was right about stuff. Things I didn’t want to admit. I told Fiona about Rowan because I couldn’t stand the idea it upset her. I always hated to see her upset. Was that something that would ever go away?
“You let her go once. Gave up the fight. Fiona is a fight. She’s too fucked up emotionally not to be. If you want her then you take on the fight. If you don’t, you give up. Again. And go back to the way life was without her. Wishing you’d done it another way.”
I started to tell her again to shut up. But I closed my mouth. Because she was right. About all of it. I had let Fiona go. Would she have eventually believed me if I’d kept trying?
That night had changed everything for us. Fiona had left for Paris for a modeling shoot after I had proposed to her and she’d said we needed space. Then she’d broken things off with me and fled. I’d tried texting and calling her but she’d ignored me.
I was drinking too much whiskey to find a way to deal with the pain knowing I’d fucked it all up. Looking down at the fresh glass in my hand, I set it down and stood up. Fiona was here. Time had healed a few and others were still just as fresh. Loving her wasn’t ever going away. We had been together a short time but those days had been the best of my life.
Focusing my gaze on Fiona again, she nodded as the blonde man took her arm and led her out of the room. She didn’t want to go. How could he not see that? Standing, I followed them not caring who saw me. And daring anyone to stop me.
I could feel the eyes of others in the room watching me. They were all waiting for some dramatic moment between Fiona and myself. So far all they’d gotten was a drunk Fiona dancing on a table. If this dentist tried to kiss her, there would be drama.
The dentist walked her to the elevator. I stood there and watched as the elevator doors opened. I began to move toward them when Fiona stepped onto the elevator, but the man didn’t follow her. He waved and said he’d see her tomorrow.
The doors closed and the man sighed as if he was exhausted. He waited a beat before pressing the elevator button for himself. He couldn’t be more than thirty but he had a weariness about him. As if he was tired of life. I felt guilty for hating him. He’d been through shit much worse than mine.
When the doors opened again I took a few long strides and followed him into the elevator. His head lifted and at the sight of another person he straightened. Hiding his sadness. A small smile stretched his lips slightly.
“Hello,” he said politely.
“Hey,” I replied with a nod. “Going in early tonight too?” I asked him trying to make conversation.
“Yeah. Long morning at work before packing up to come here.”
“Travel far?” I was prying. It wasn’t my finest moment.
He shook his head. “No. I live about an hour outside of Savannah. You?”
“Nashville,” I told him feeling relief that this man lived nowhere near Fiona.
“Since I spoke with the groom earlier I’m going to easily assume here you are his twin brother.”
I nodded. “Yeah. That would be me,” I told him.
The man chuckled but it was so quiet I barely heard a sound. He was staring at his feet as if he saw something amusing down there. I didn’t know what he found so damn funny about me being Mack’s twin. Maybe the man was cracking. His emotional bar had met its level.
He lifted his gaze to meet my confused one as the elevator opened at his floor. “Have a good night, Marty.” The man used my name. I hadn’t introduced myself. He left me standing inside the elevator watching him walk away. When the doors closed, I realized I’d never pressed the button for my floor. I reached over and did so knowing I wasn’t going to my room. I was headed to talk to Fiona. Again. This time I would try harder. I wouldn’t ask her to listen. I would talk and not give her a chance to turn me away.
There were too many lies between us.
As the doors slid open one more time, I walked off the elevator and headed to the room across from mine. Fiona would listen to me. Even if I had to beg her or talk over her. Fuck, I may hold her stubborn ass down to make her listen to me. But she was going to listen.
Nashville wasn’t home. Fiona was home. I had been kidding myself that anything else would ever make me happy. She’d owned me since she gave me those damn cookies I still kept safely tucked away. Grinning, I knocked thinking how she had found the recipe for rocks. Because those damn things still looked like they did the day she gave them to me.
Waiting, I tried to wipe the smile off my face but it was a memory that I loved. One that made me happy. The memory reminded me of happy times. I knocked again and no answer. I rang the bell and after a few moments nothing. Maybe she was in the shower. Or the bath. I considered going to my room for a while and trying again later. Afraid she could leave again I decided to have a seat in the hallway and wait. This wasn’t desperate at all.
I rolled my eyes.