Marty
“YOU LOOK READY TO JUMP out the nearest window. Relax,” Rowan muttered under her breath as we walked into the entrance of the courtyard where pre-dinner drinks were already being served. I had no doubt I looked ready to flee. However, I didn’t need her smart-ass comments right now. I needed a drink more than I needed my next breath.
“I’m getting whiskey. Want one?” I asked her not even looking in her direction.
“No, I prefer to stay sober and keep you from screwing up,” was her reply. Good plan. Knew I’d brought her for a reason. “But you’ve got to point Chantel out to me when she arrives. I want to be sure to watch the drama as it unfolds.”
I hadn’t chanced a glance around the room. I was afraid of eye contact with anyone . . . or maybe just someone. I didn’t say anything as I walked away from her to look for the bar. If I could get a double downed quickly, I might brave this fiasco my brother had gotten me into. When he’d told me about the plans for the wedding I’d felt confidant I could do this. But knowing she was close . . . that was different.
A hand touched my arm and I tensed but only for a moment. The familiar smell of Rowan’s perfume hit me and I glanced at her sudden need to attach herself to me. She leaned close and whispered. “Never mind. I don’t need you to point out Chantel I figured it out. Are you sure she doesn’t swing both ways? Because damn . . . she’s hot.”
Rolling my eyes, I turned my attention back to the bartender and glanced at the selection of whiskey behind him. “Makers Mark, double, neat.” I added, “A club soda with lime too, please.” If Rowan wasn’t drinking alcohol, then she drank club soda with lime.
“Thank you,” she said peering back over her shoulder to check out the room. Or just Chantel. Horny bitch.
“Would you stop it,” I growled under my breath.
“What?” she asked shifting her mischievous gaze to me. “If you aren’t going to look at all of them and watch then I am. And unfortunately, it seems Chantel is more worried about me being on your arm than I’d like. She isn’t checking me out at all. That’s a shame. I’m positive she’d enjoy it if she gave it a chance.”
“Jesus, Rowan, could you not do that here?” I asked. I reached for the whiskey the bartender was handing me.
“What? Be a lesbian? No, I’m sorry Marty. I happen to take that trait with me everywhere I go.”
I started to respond when her hand squeezed my arm in a death grip. “She’s here. And holy God she is stunning. You shouldn’t look. Your plan to ignore your surroundings is much better. Go with it. Oh, Chantel sees her. I think Chantel may throw up from nerves. Maybe you should watch. The place is packed with emotion, angst. Damn, I need popcorn.”
“Shut up. Jesus, Rowan.” I shoved the club soda in her hand and stalked toward my brother who I wanted to hate for making me come here.
“You brought me here knowing I love a good female angst fest. It’s like a live viewing of one of those Lifetime movies. I’d say Hallmark but this shit isn’t about to get mushy. I foresee death before ooey-gooey forgiveness.”
Mack’s eyes shifted from the waiter he was speaking with to focus on me. He finished what he was telling the server before turning his full attention to me. “You good?” he asked. His frown said it all.
No, I wasn’t good. I was tense, anxious, fucking dying to look at her and couldn’t do it. My chest was tight. I could feel her presence. Even if Rowan hadn’t announced Fiona’s entrance I’d have known she was here. “I have whiskey,” was my simple reply.
He smirked. “The look in your eyes says you are close to bolting so I’d guess you haven’t had enough whiskey yet. Relax,” his gaze scanned the room. “Chantel is talking to Beulah. And . . . Fiona is with Shay. They’re smiling but whispering. She’s not handling it much better than you. Her cheeks are flushed.”
I turned, unable to keep myself from looking her way. Fiona’s cheeks only flushed when she was drinking. Fiona wasn’t one to drink much. Had that changed? It was too late. I’d been curious and not stopped myself in time. The moment my eyes found her, the sharp hard kick in the chest took my next several breaths. I fucking wished that would go away. It had been three years. Why wouldn’t my reaction to her go the hell away? This wasn’t normal. Maybe Rowan was right and I needed to see a therapist.
I heard Rowan speaking to Mack but was unable to listen to them. Their words were a jumbled mess floating in space and my complete focus was on her. I knew she felt me staring. I could see her cheeks flush even brighter pink and her shoulders tensed as she stood even straighter. The rigidness of her stance gave away that she was nervous. Did she feel like I did? Was I alone in this hell?
Slowly, as if she was fighting every fiber of her being but unable to stop it, her head turned and those exotic green eyes that always appeared in my dreams, locked on me. We stood there like that. Not moving. Not speaking. For what seemed like an eternity. Rowan walked up and stood beside me and I heard something said about popcorn again. Mack may have chuckled. I wasn’t positive.
Then it ended.
Just that quickly.
Fiona turned away breaking eye contact and walked off. Her stride that of a model. It always had been. I used to love teasing her about never leaving the catwalk.
“Fuck,” Rowan muttered beside me. “I think that was my fault.”
I forced myself to stop watching her. I wasn’t going to appear pathetic. I took a long drink from my glass and turned back to my brother and Rowan.
“What do you mean?” I asked Rowan simply to make conversation and get myself under control. The desire to chase Fiona’s ass down and beg her to talk to me was strong, but I was stronger. I’d begged that woman and I had pleaded on my knees for the last time. Never again.
“I was so wrapped up in the moment I didn’t realize I was holding onto your arm waiting for the next move. She read it wrong.”
I glanced down at my arm not even realizing Rowan was touching me. Every fiber of my being had been focused on Fiona. Which meant I was pathetic. But if it looked like I was with Rowan, then maybe I didn’t look pathetic to the rest of the place. Maybe it was just me that knew how fucking weak I was when it came to Fiona.
“Doesn’t matter,” I shrugged. “That’s all the past. Time we both grow up and forgot it happened.”
Rowan snorted and Mack grinned. I didn’t respond to either of them because they were both complete dicks.
“You sure you don’t want a drink?” Mack asked Rowan. “All of us might need several. Dinner hasn’t even started yet.”
Rowan glanced back over her shoulder. “The blonde is watching it all very closely. This is going to get good. I love girl fights. Do you think if they tie up in a fight we can get them to do it naked and covered in oil?”
Mack spat his beer our and laughed uncontrollably.
Usually Rowan’s humor made me laugh. Tonight, all I could manage was a smile. One that didn’t meet my eyes. One that I knew appeared more like a grimace. But fuck me, I was doing the best I could.