Lena told me to wait for her at the bridge.

I wanted to meet her at the house, walk over with her, but when she had come back to the stables, her face tearstained, I didn’t have the heart to argue with her. Even though I did want to be a gentleman and walk her to my tent. It was obvious the ride had done its job, but I also knew she was struggling with her family’s expectations of her. The bartender she had broken rules with picking her up to go on a date probably wouldn’t go over well.

I want to say I’m not bothered by what everyone has said, implying I’m not good enough for Lena since I’m just a commoner, as everyone keeps calling me, but I am. I think mostly because I know I’m not really good enough for someone like her. I mean, she’s amazing, even when she thinks she’s not. If she could just see the person I see, she’d be good. She’d recognize that she’s beautiful, smart, and witty as hell. That when she isn’t trying to hide who she is behind all her acting out and poor decisions, she is damn near perfect. Or at least, I think so.

Not that it matters, though, what I think or even what I feel. I have to keep reminding myself of that. These feelings that bubble up inside me every time I see her, or every time we touch, I have to ignore. Or I would fall so hard for her. While I don’t want to hurt her, since it’s obvious she’s been hurt badly, I fear I would be the one hurt. Because why would someone like her want someone like me?

But all those thoughts are gone the moment I see her.

I lose every bit of my clear thinking the moment she appears. It’s like she puts me under her spell, where the only thing that matters is her and making her smile.

“Ya didn’t have to wait for me. I know where the tent is.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I can see it from my window.”

“So you’re stalking me?”

“Always,” she teases, and I smile. “But really, I’d have come to you.”

I take her hand in mine. “I wanted to pick you up.”

She waves me off. “Ya don’t want to experience my ma, promise ya that.”

Lacing our fingers together, I smile. “I would if it meant walking that extra twenty minutes with you.”

Her eyes sparkle as she leans into me. “Ah, shut it and come on. We have a date, yeah?”

“We do,” I agree, and when she beams back up at me, I feel like my heart is in my throat.

“Good, show me what a Jackson date is since it’s so much different from any other date I’ve been on.”

“Deal.”

Soon we are sitting around the little fire I’ve made, eating s’mores. She is cuddled close beside me as she holds the s’more I just made for her, after making her two hot dogs and some chips. The smile on her face is unstoppable, and I know I’ve succeeded when it comes to blowing her away.

I think the s’mores won it for me.

“I have never, in my life, eaten one of these, and I’m sad about that.”

I laugh. “How have you never eaten a s’more?”

She rolls her eyes. “I’m a lady!” She can’t say it without laughing. “It’s gooey and such a mess! I’d never be caught dead with something that can get all over my face or even in my hair.”

“How boring.”

“Exactly! It’s so unfair I went twenty-two years without one!”

I smile. “So you mean to tell me you never went camping?”

Her eyes widen. “Do I look like the kind of girl who’s gone camping before?”

I shrug. “But here you are.”

“’Cause of you!” she giggles, taking another bite. “No, when I was younger, only Declan and me da would go. I wanted to, I thought it would be fun, but Ma wouldn’t let me. Soon, I didn’t care to. Didn’t want to mess up my hair.”

I hand her another s’more, and she takes it with her other hand, licking off some of the marshmallow. “Funny how things change.”

That has her nodding knowingly. “That’s the truth right there.”

She looks beautiful, which is nothing new when it comes to her. Her hair is under a little knit cap and she’s completely bundled up, but her nose is still a little red. “I think I was a wee bit naïve back then.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” she says on an inhale. “When I went riding earlier, I decided that.”

“Why’s that?”

She shrugs, taking another bite. “I just kept going over what my family had yelled at me about. Declan accused me of going out of my way to break the rules.”

“Are you?”

“No,” she says, and then she looks at me. “I wanted to see you. I had a rough day, and I wanted someone who got me. So I went.”

A smile quirks my lips. “I’m glad you did.”

She looks away. “And I never had any intention of kissing you, but then I couldn’t stop.”

“I sure as hell wasn’t going to stop you.”

She laughs at that, leaning into me, her head on my shoulder as she eats her s’more. “No, ya weren’t.”

With a smile on my face, I eat mine. I want to know so much more about her. I want to prompt her, but I’m sure she gets enough of that.

I don’t want to be like everyone else.

“I just don’t think it’s fair.”

Pausing mid-bite, I ask, “What isn’t?”

“How different it is for Declan and me,” she says as she sits up, looking at the fire. “He was allowed to go and do as he pleased. Yeah, he’d get bitched at, but he was never held to the standards that I was, or am, for that matter. Like today, Ma lost it on me for what I did, but Declan did that all the time. It’s how he met and married Amberlyn. It’s not right. Who cares, ya know?”

“I think it’s different here. Or at least, it’s different for you guys.”

“Which is stupid. We’re the people who make the rules. Why can’t we do what we want?”

“I’m a firm believer that you should do what makes you happy,” I supply, and she nods.

“Exactly! I feel the same, especially after years of doing and being everything they wanted me to. I just want to be happy.”

“Then do it.”

“I am, but Ma is just so mad, and I don’t want to upset her with everything that is going on. But how can I be who I’m not and be happy? Life is too short.”

“It is.”

“And I just—” She stops, shaking her head. “I’m sorry. I’m ruining our time,” she says quickly, but I shake my head now, grabbing her hand and squeezing it.

“No, talk. We have all night.”

Her eyes burn into mine. “All night?”

“If you want.”

“I do.”

We share a smile, heat burning through us, but that can wait. As much as I am yearning for her, I want to know her more. I want to know what she is thinking. I want to know what is hurting her. “Good. Then talk to me, Lena.”

She seems to struggle with that, glancing away as she takes in a breath. “I just wish she’d understand.”

I should keep my mouth shut, but I can’t help it. “You were gone for two years before London, right?”

She doesn’t look at me. “Yeah, in Dublin.”

“Why’d you go?”

I watch as she bites her lip. “I had to. I couldn’t stand it here anymore.”

“Why?”

When her knee starts to bounce, I can practically feel the anxiety coming off her in waves. She doesn’t want to speak about this, and I almost change the subject. But then, how am I supposed to help her if I do? I want so desperately to help. I don’t understand the need to do so, but it’s there, and I can’t ignore it.

“You can trust me, Lena.”

“It’s not that. I do,” she says simply, but yet, she doesn’t look at me. “I do trust you.”

That pleases me to no end. “Then talk to me.”

“It just doesn’t matter.”

“It does.”

She shakes her head. “Ya can’t change the past.”

“You’re right.”

“I just want to forget it.”

“How’s that going?” I ask, and she meets my gaze. “’Cause no matter what I do, I can’t forget what my dad did to me. As hard as it is to talk about it, when I do, it’s easier.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, it just is. Maybe because talking about it, knowing I survived it, makes me feel like I won.”

Tears start to gather in her eyes as she looks away. “I never got the chance to feel like I won, and when I did, it wasn’t for long.”

I have no clue what she is talking about, but I don’t dare say more. As I watch her struggle with what she wants to say, I can’t help but think we are two fucked-up people just trying to make it. I’ve had time to adjust, to figure myself out, but I feel like Lena is still struggling with that. I can’t handle watching her do so either. I want to fix it all for her. To make it go away. But as much as I want to know everything, she isn’t ready to tell me.

And that’s okay.

When the music I have playing on my phone switches Ed Sheeran’s “Perfect Symphony,” I close my eyes. “Man, I love this song.”

“Oh, me too. It’s so classic.”

“It is,” I agree. I get up, wanting to make all her uneasiness go away. She watches as I move, her eyes full of tears that tug at my heartstrings. When I pull her up and into my arms, she comes willingly, wrapping her arms around my middle as she presses her nose into my chest. I cup her by the back of her neck with one of my hands, and we sway to the music ever so slowly as I trail kisses down her temple to her ear.

“We should be barefoot,” she says softly.

“It’s too fuckin’ cold,” I laugh, and she grins against my cheek as we sway.

“Finally giving in?”

“I don’t have a choice.” Leaning into her, I kiss her ear once more as my heart soars for this girl. “You can tell me anything, Lena. I’ll never judge you. I’ll never think you’re anything but perfect. You do realize that, right?”

She chuckles slightly, though it’s full of pain. “Ah, Jacks, ya don’t know anything about me.”

Holding her tightly, I kiss her ear. “I know I really like who you let me know, and I want to know so much more. Everything, actually.” Moving her head back from my chest, she places her chin there, her eyes burning into mine as her breathing picks up. “I know that when I’m with you, my heart goes wild and I can’t think of anything but holding you, kissing you, and being with you.”

Her lips part a little as her fingers run along the back of my shirt. “All that?”

“And more,” I say, running my lips along her cheek. “I’d never hurt you.”

“Oh, I know that. Yer too good for all that.”

“So, what’s holding you back?”

She blinks then, and I almost think she’s gonna walk away from me. But to my surprise, she doesn’t. Actually, the opposite happens. She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me down for a long, lusty kiss. One that curls my toes in my boots as I hold her close to me. As we kiss, each one longer and lustier than the last, I wonder why she is holding back. Was I right to assume we were just having fun? That she had no intention of ever caring more for me than a hookup? And what’s wrong with that? I’m leaving, she is the princess of this place, and I know it would never work out. I should be thankful. Glad and relieved.

It’s what I wanted.

But why do I feel like it isn’t?

Before I can dwell on that, though, her fingers capture my chin as my eyes meet hers. “Jacks.”

“Yeah?”

“You have a bed in that tent?”

I smile. “Well, I have sleeping bags.”

Running her fingers down my jaw, she asks, “Can you fuck me on them?”

I hesitate. I don’t want to just fuck her. But then, what do I want? Why is this so confusing? Why do her eyes render me so utterly stupid?

I don’t know, but why am I questioning it?

Unable to answer her with the emotion clogging my throat, I pick her up as our mouths meet. But before she presses her lips to mine, she whispers, “Is that a yes?”

“Yes,” I answer, and then we’re kissing once more. It feels so right, our lips moving and playing with each other’s as the music fills our little space. As I carry her, I pull away a little so I can see where I’m going, but that doesn’t stop her from kissing my jaw, my neck, and licking along my ear. Driving me absolutely insane.

Going toward the tent, I fall to my knees, still holding her as I open it. I carry her in before lying on top of her. I have so many blankets in here, and I made sure to activate the heating pads before I met her at the bridge, so everything is pretty cozy.

“This is awesome,” she gushes as I sit up, closing the tent flap so none of the warm air gets out.

“It’s okay, but you’re amazing,” I say, covering her body with mine once more. When I capture her mouth, she wraps her legs around my waist as I press into her, wanting her so badly, I’m unable to think of anything else. I want to figure her out; I want to know why she is holding back. But when I’m between her legs, all I care about is her.

And making her scream my name countless times over.

Sitting up, I pull off my sweatshirt and my shirt, undoing my pants as she does the same. Soon we are fumbling over each other trying to get our clothes off, along with our boots. When she goes to kick her boot off to try to get it out of the way, it hits me square in the face. Her eyes widen, but soon we’re both laughing so hard, we can’t breathe.

“Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry!”

I fall on top of her, our naked bodies becoming one, and her laughter dies off. “I love it when you laugh like that.”

Her eyes fall shut as her lips part. She is so hot between her legs, and her nipples are hard against my chest, making every coherent thought evaporate.

“Hell,” I mutter against her bare breast as I run my tongue along her hardened peak. “You’re magnificent.”

Gently dragging her nails along my back, she arches up into me. “No, you are.”

A grin pulls at my lips as I kiss down her stomach, tonguing her pussy as she cries out, making my dick harder. While I lick her, I am shaking with need. It has been so long since I’ve been inside of her. Days of fighting my need for her, wanting her like mad, but keeping it under wraps because I wanted to make sure she was okay. I still don’t know if she is. But in a way, I think she is when she is with me. As I open her up, taking her clit between my lips, I suck her hard as her moans fill my tent, rocking me to the core. She tastes sweet and like everything I’m craving. When she comes, it’s hard, her whole body shaking as she pinches my head with her delicate thighs.

Laughing, I remove my head as I look down at her. Her body jerks, a little grin at her lips as her eyes squeeze shut, her hands holding her sweet breasts.

She’s outstanding.

“I want it hard, Jackson.”

A grin pulls at my lips. “Hard, you say?”

“So hard.”

Her eyes are so lusty, her body so beautiful that I’m worried I’ll hurt her. But then her lips curve up at me, and I lose all sense of control. Pushing her legs back, I enter her in one thrust. Hard. And with need. She arches up, crying out, my name falling from her lips as I move into her over and over again. My fingers bite into her thighs as she clutches me with her tight center. Each of my thrusts is harder than the last, and her body jerks, her breasts bouncing with the motion as she clutches my wrists, such a blissful look on her face.

I think that’s what does me in because soon I’m coming so hard it rattles me.

Closing my eyes, I dig my fingers into her skin as I ride out my orgasm, shuddering into her as I moan loudly. My whole body seems to be shaking, and my heart feels the same. Falling to her side, I gather her in my arms as our mouths join and her leg comes over my hip. Closing my eyes, I exhale as her fingers move along my jaw, her nose pressed into mine, our mouths joining with small but robust kisses.

We lie there for what seems like hours, but I know it’s only seconds before she whispers, “I don’t want to leave.”

“Don’t, then.”

I feel her lips curve as she presses her nose into mine. “A lady never has a nightcap with a man she isn’t going to marry.”

Don’t read into that, I caution myself. “Well, that’s a problem, then, eh?”

I can feel her smiling against my lips as she runs her fingers through the hair on my chest. Turning my head, I meet her gaze before my hand comes up to hold her face. “I don’t want you to leave, but I understand if you want to.”

“I don’t want to either,” she says quickly, and I smile. “Fuck it, I’m already breaking all the rules with ya anyway. What’s a few more?”

I hold her gaze, and I don’t know why it bothers me, but it does.

“What?”

Just keep your mouth shut. It’s not a big deal.

“Is that all I am?”

God, I’m an idiot.

Her brows pull together. “How do ya mean?”

Moving my other hand to her face, I brush my thumb along her lips. “Don’t get mad, but is that all I am? Just someone to break the rules with?”

What am I doing? This is what I want! I just want to have fun.

Her lips part. “Have I made ya feel like that?”

I swallow. “I don’t know. I don’t know what the hell I’m feeling, but I don’t want to be someone you’re just using.”

She nods in understanding. “I don’t want ya to feel like that ’cause that’s not how it is.”

“It isn’t?”

“No, I care for ya, Jacks. I do.”

“You do?”

“I do,” she answers, her eyes sparkling. “I’m sorry if I made it sound like that. I don’t want ya for a mere fuck. I enjoy us, our conversations and hanging out.”

“I do too.”

“I’m sorry if it came off like that.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Ya sure?”

I’m not, but I nod. “Yeah.”

Her lips curve. “So, can I stay?”

“I wasn’t going to let you leave anyway.”

Her nose presses into mine as our eyes lock, and my heart soars.

I know I’m in so much trouble, but I just can’t bring myself to care about that right now. Which is going to hurt me in the long run.

But I don’t care.