I don’t think I’ve taken in a full breath since Lena walked into the coffee shop earlier.

But now, I’m more breathless than ever.

She’s in the middle of the pub, holding hands with Amberlyn and Fiona as they dance wildly to the music the band in the corner is playing. Lena’s hair is flying through the air, her face is bright, her lips turned up in the widest smile as she spins with such grace.

She stuns me. Completely.

After last night, I honestly didn’t think she would speak to me again. I was wrong, I guess, because she not only came to see me, but she told me what I’ve been dying to know. It all makes so much sense now. How closed off she’s been. How she was so desperate to forget. But by the grace of God, she is finding relief. The one place she tried to hide from is helping her. I may have helped here and there, but it is mainly her. And that has made all my earlier concerns about only wanting her because I wanted to help her evaporate like the rain that fell earlier in the day.

I want her because she’s her.

Lena O’Callaghan.

When her eyes land on mine, her grin grows as she runs to me, taking my hands in hers. “Come dance with me.”

I want to say no, but her eyes make me mutter yes. I don’t want that sparkle to go anywhere, and if dancing like a fool keeps it there, then I’ll dance.

The music changes to some crazy beat, and when Lena lets out a cry of excitement, my eyes widen. But suddenly, she is bouncing on her heels.

“Okay! Set up!” Declan yells then. He has been drinking, and I am finding when he’s a little drunk, he isn’t so stuck-up. “Kane, Fiona, come on.”

They join us on the floor as everyone in the room lets out an excited yell. Meanwhile, I have no clue what is going on. Lena looks up to me. “We go to the left, left, up, right, kick, kick, turn. Ya got that?”

Nope.

“Absolutely.”

She knows I’m lying and just laughs before taking my hands in hers. As the music restarts, I don’t even know how but she is moving me across the floor with ease. I glance around. Declan and Kane look like they know what they are doing, while I look like a damn foal trying to get my balance. I’m awful! Soon, I can’t help it, I just start laughing. Lena’s face lights up as she locks arms with me, spinning us around as she slaps her leg happily.

I’ve never seen her like this.

I thought seeing her on her horse, riding with the air rippling through her hair was breathtaking, but watching her dance with no cares will forever be my favorite.

Taking me by the back of my neck, she tries to explain the dance, but I shake my head. “I need practice.”

“Ah, yer doing great!”

Thankfully, the song ends with everyone yelling out a yippee. Seriously. They all yell that, and I just grin as I look around. It’s late, but when Lady O’Callaghan came out of surgery with a better than expected prognosis for a normal life, Declan wanted to celebrate. Lena had wanted to stay at the hospital, but Lady O’Callaghan sent her home.

A lady didn’t sleep on a couch.

I am finding that an O’Callaghan lady doesn’t do much but drink tea and look perfect.

But my O’Callaghan lady does it all.

And she does it beautifully.

Lena falls into my arms, holding me tightly as she gazes up at me. Cupping her face, I drop my mouth to hers, kissing her softly. Everything inside me goes hot. I know we said we would just go with it, see what happens, but I can’t stop thinking about when I leave. As much as I don’t want to, as much as I want to stay with her, I know I can’t.

I can’t be trapped.

When she pulls back, pinching my chin in her fingers, she winks. “Come home with me tonight.”

“Is that a demand?”

“Yeah,” she says, her eyes burning into mine. “My ma and da are at the hospital, and I want ya in my bed.”

“In yer bed,” I tease, and her face scrunches up playfully.

“Well, along with sucking at a true Irish jig, ya have the worst accent I’ve ever heard.”

I feign hurt. “Hater,” I announce, and she grins as she strokes my face.

“Ya make me happy, Jacks.”

“Good, that’s what I want,” I say. It’s the truth. Though I can’t help but wonder for how long. Will I hurt her when I leave? Will she hurt me when she won’t come?

Are we setting ourselves up for failure?

Before I can dwell on that much longer, Declan climbs on the bar, holding up his glass as silence falls over the pub. “To our ma, Noreen O’Callaghan, who was way too stubborn to let a wee tumor take her from this world.”

“Lady O’Callaghan,” everyone repeats, and then at once, they down their drinks. But Lena and I are staring into each other’s eyes.

Everything has changed. I feel it. I want to tell her over and over again how beautiful she is to me, but she has to know by the way I am looking at her. I trace my thumb down her nose. I have fallen for her, totally. And fuck, does it scare me shitless.

“Why ya look so worried?” she laughs, and my heart skips a beat. “The night is about fun. Don’t go thinking too much, ya fool,” she says before kissing my jaw. “Come on, then. Let’s go back to the house. I want ya.”

I chuckle. “You want me, eh?”

Her eyes sparkle. “Ah, yeah, I do.”

She weaves her fingers with mine, but before we can move, Kane climbs on the bar beside Declan. “Where is Fiona?”

“I’m right here, ya eejit, passing out drinks since our bartender called out,” she yells, and I don’t miss the way she glares at me.

“I asked nicely!” I call to her, and she rolls her eyes.

“Come here, woman.”

She strikes her hips. “Who ya talking to?”

“Yous! I said, come here.”

“And I said fuck off with ya!” she yells back, and everyone chuckles, especially when they see both Kane’s and Fiona’s faces are covered with big grins.

“Come on, woman. I got ya a ring.”

A hush falls over the pub as he reaches into his pocket, holding out one shiny-ass ring. I can see the shock on Fiona’s face. Hell, I think it’s on everyone’s faces.

With a huge grin, he holds the ring out to her. “I’ve loved ya for many years now. I’ve been completely taken with ya for longer. Yer red hair, yer sweet eyes, and that arse of yers have me under a spell, ya hear?” He climbs down, his boots hitting the floor with a thunk. “You’s given me a wee lass that mirrors ya in every way. Yer giving me another one, and I want more, Fiona, because they’re you. I love you. Christ, I love you. I wasn’t going to do this now,” he says, stopping in front of her.

Looking over at Fiona, I see her eyes are wide and full of tears. “I wanted to take ya out, wine ya, dine ya. But then I can’t think of a better place than here, in front of our mates, to ask ya something I should have asked years ago.”

“I’d say so. Two kids later,” she says, but her voice breaks as she stares up at him. “And ya know the answer. Ya don’t have to ask.”

“But I will. Stop telling me what to do.” He flashes her a look as he slowly sinks to one knee. Taking her hand in his, he kisses her palm as he looks up at her. “Yer already the mother of my children and the love of my life, so will ya be my wife and complete me?”

Covering her mouth, she squeezes her eyes shut. “Ya wanker, making me cry like a wee babe.”

Kane loves that, his eyes flashing with such adoration as he asks, “So what ya say?”

“I say, yes, ya fool.”

With that, the room erupts as they embrace, their mouths meeting with a quickness. When I look to Lena, she is watching them, her hand on her chest as her eyes begin to water. I don’t know why, but suddenly, I want that moment. With her. But then my gaze is caught by the portrait on the wall, Lena looking back at me, so regal as she stands next to her family.

A family that is loved and envied by all.

A family that would never accept me.

“Ya ready to get out of here?”

I look away from the portrait to her. “Been ready.”

As I gather her in my arms, I hold her tighter than I ever have.

For the simple fact that I know my time is running out with her.

“I understand what yer saying, madam, but yer ma didn’t tell me about any guest.”

Lena glares at him. “’Cause she didn’t know, and that’s fine.”

“She’ll be upset.”

“Let me deal with her. Ya won’t lose yer job. This is my house too, yeah?”

The security guard holds Lena’s gaze. “Yes, madam.”

“Then why ya worried? He’s had a background check, he works here, and he’s my guest.”

The security guard looks at me then, scrutinizing me before he looks back at Lena. “But he isn’t on the guest list for ya.”

“Because he hasn’t been added. Add him. Jackson Tremblay.”

He hesitates, but then he writes my name on the guest list under Lena’s name. I don’t miss that no one is there, just me.

“Please understand, we can’t be too careful with ya, madam.”

She reaches out, squeezing his hand. “I know that, and I appreciate it, but we’re grand.”

“Yes, madam.”

She sends him a grin and then takes my hand. “Come on, then.”

I go, though I’m bothered by what just went down. I know there is security on the estate—I had to have a background check for goodness’ sake—but it is very obvious I’m not welcome here.

“Don’t let that bother ya, Jacks. They do it to everyone.”

I scoff as I meet her gaze. “Gotta protect your virtue, I guess.”

She laughs at that. “Pretty sure everyone knows my virtue is out the damn window.” Shaking her head, she says, “It’s just to protect me, and I know that, but it’s annoying for sure.”

I nod. “Yeah, it is.”

Taking my hand, she smiles at me as she uses her other hand to gesture to the glory of her home. “Enough with that. This is the O’Callaghan estate.”

Soon I forget about the security guard, and I’m staring at Lena’s home. It is breathtaking. The outside of the castle is big and beautiful, but the inside with its vaulted ceilings, beautiful gold accents, and vintage furniture has me in awe. “It’s insane.”

“It is. I love it here,” she agrees as she pulls me down a narrow hall that is covered in portraits. “This is the family hall. These are all the families that have lived and died here.”

There are so many portraits, it’s hard for me to focus on just one. The paintings are old and striking. “That’s my great-great-great-grandmother Élodie. I’m named after her.” I look up at the portrait of a young woman with flashing blue eyes and the same tip of her chin that Lena has. Unlike the other photos, she isn’t pictured with a man.

“Was she not married?”

“Ah, yes, but she left him in America.”

I look to her, confused, but she is grinning. “What?”

“She left home with her da, against her ma’s wishes, to go and help with the whiskey tax in America. There was this rebellion back in 1794 where they were trying to tax the whiskey the farmers were making. Her da wasn’t having it because it was taking money from his pocket. So he went to America to help, try to fight the tax so that everyone could be happy. Élodie got herself in a wee bit of trouble since, come to find out, she was smuggling whiskey and money from the people they were supposed to be helping. She was amazing, fearless, and completely unorthodox.” She looks at me, her eyes glowing. “She got knocked up in America by a man she married on the side, but her da wouldn’t let her bring him home because he was just a poor poet. So she came home, brokenhearted and pregnant. But the story is, she not only raised her son with the grace of an O’Callaghan, but she also assisted with the production of whiskey based on everything she learned in America. Usually, women weren’t allowed in the distilleries, but she was the first to rise and the last to leave. She worked her arse off, and Ma tells me she’s the reason we’re so successful now.”

“Wow.”

She nods. “I’m proud to have her name.”

“I would be too,” I mumble, swallowing hard. “You share a lot with her.”

She shrugged. “I guess I do. She wanted things her way, and she didn’t care what anyone else said.” She seems lost in the photo, her eyes glazing over. “And, yet, she was still an O’Callaghan.”

“Pretty awesome.”

“It is.” She glances back at me, taking my hand in hers before pulling me with her. “Ya look good in here.”

I scoff. “I was thinking the same of you. You belong here.”

She shakes her head. “No, I don’t want to live here forever. Like Declan when I marry, I want my own little place. Somewhere my man can fuck me hard,” she says, waggling her brows, and I know she wants to make me laugh, but I still can’t shake the feeling that sort of thing would never be welcome here.

“Your mom wouldn’t let me in here, would she?”

She shrugs. “I don’t care. Let’s not think about that. Come on.”

“I wish I couldn’t think about it, but it’s hard not to.”

That stops her, and she cuts her eyes to mine. “I know what it seems like, Jackson, and I get it. But really, I don’t care. I only care about you.”

But for how long? God, why do I care? I know what will happen. I’ll leave, and she’ll be stuck here. I feel it, and I know it to be true. She won’t ever be able to truly be mine. But I want this fairy tale with her.

Fuck, I have fallen head over heels for this girl.

Stupidly.

And the thing is, Fiona warned me of this.

Lacing her fingers with mine, she presses her chest to mine. “Why don’t I take ya to my room?”

I pause, though. “I need to ask you something.”

“What?”

“Where do you see this going?”

Her eyes widen a bit. “I see us going to my room—”

“No, I mean, like this relationship.”

Her eyes burn into mine. “Ya asking for my forever, Jackson?”

“I’m not asking for anything yet. I just want to know what you’re thinking.”

“I’m thinking that ya make me really happy, and I don’t want to lose ya,” she answers almost immediately. “I know what this looks like. Like I’m having to hide ya. But if they knew you, they’d adore ya the way I do. Don’t worry about that stuff. Worry about what we have.”

“Which is what?”

“Something special,” she answers as she looks up at me. “Something that has completely changed me forever, Jackson. Don’t ya realize that?” I stare into her eyes because I hadn’t realized that at all. “Ya came in, and ya turned my world upside down. Ya make me crazy with need, and ya make me smile when I don’t want to. Ya believe in me when I don’t, and because of that, I’m not ready to let go of ya. Like I said earlier, I don’t want this to end.”

“I don’t either, but what if—”

“Stop. Don’t put what-ifs on us. Let’s just see what happens.” Her eyes plead with mine. “Ya told me to be happy, to live a happy life. I am. With you.”

Wrapping my arms around her neck, I press my lips to hers. And as her eyes close, I know I have to let go of all this angst in my heart.

Or I am going to lose her.

Sooner than I wanted.