Me heart’s been in my throat since I got off the phone with Amberlyn.

As I sit in the back of the town car, my knee is bouncing like mad while I watch my little town fly by through the window. I can’t believe I’m on my way to the jail. The last time I was there was after Amberlyn was shot. And the same person was there that day too.

Casey.

My chest hurts, and I’m having a hard time catching my breath. I don’t know what the hell happened or even why, but I need to know Jackson is okay. I wasn’t able to speak to him. He was getting tended to by the paramedics when Amberlyn called, which scares the living shite out of me. I just want to speak with him. Know he is fine.

When we pull up to the jail, I throw open the door before Tony stops. “Miss Lena.”

But I ignore him, rushing up the stairs that are connected to the station. Entering the building, I find everyone sitting out in the front. Fiona stands along with Declan as he says, “They’re in there. I don’t think—”

But I’m through the door before he even finishes his sentence. I see Jackson first, sitting with his arms behind his back and his head hanging low.

“Madam, ya can’t be in here right now.”

I hear the cop, I do, but my main focus is on Jackson. He looks up, his lips pressing together as I go to him. Dropping to my knees in front of him, I lean on his knees as I gaze up at him with clouded eyes. He has a jagged cut along his cheek, and I reach for his face. “Jacks, love, yer face?”

“Asshole broke a mug and cut me with it.”

“’Cause you sucker-punched me.”

His voice makes my skin crawl as I run my finger along Jackson’s cut. He winces, and my tears start to roll down my cheeks. “Are you okay?”

He shrugs, a little smile pulling at his lips. “Yeah, baby, I’m fine.”

“Ya gave me a heart attack.”

“I’m sorry, but now I can say I went to jail in Ireland.”

“Always with your stories,” I say as I rise to my feet, kissing his nose. Looking to the cop that is giving me a bored look, I point to Jackson. “I’d like to bail him out.”

“Madam O’Callaghan, yer brother already did. We just have to process the paperwork.”

“Can you do that a bit faster? I want to take him home. He needs rest. Please.”

“I’m doing the best I can.”

“Why don’t ya offer him some bobs, Lena. Yer family’s good for that.”

I can hear it in Casey’s voice; he’s drunk.

“Don’t talk to her, you fucking dick,” Jackson seethes, but Casey just laughs.

“Look at you, Lena, getting some stupid American to throw punches for ya. How pathetic.”

“I told you not to talk to her.”

“You aren’t her keeper! She loved me before you, mate!”

I want so much to ignore him. My heart has stilled in my chest. I don’t want to look at him, give him anything, but I can’t control myself.

“Unfortunately.”

My gaze cuts to Casey. His face is black and blue, blood dripping from his lip. Jackson did a number on him, and while he deserved it, I hate seeing people hurt. Even if it is someone awful like Casey Burke. Walking toward him, I hear Jackson call my name, but I don’t stop until I’m close enough that Casey can’t look away.

Fear rattles me, but I refuse to look away.

He’s owned too much of me for too long.

“I wish I knew then what I know now, Casey Burke. That you are a piece of shite and unworthy of anyone’s love. I wish I had run the other way when you came for me. I wish I had never met ya.” Bending down, I hold his gaze as he looks at me lazily. I don’t know why I found him so irresistible back then. Now, he looks disgusting and lost. “I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for yer ma—”

“Don’t speak of my ma,” he growls, but I shake my head.

“I’ll do whatever I want ’cause I’m not the one in cuffs,” I say, standing tall as I look down on him. “You’ll never fill another thought in my head. You’ll never have anything of mine. You are nothing to me.”

“Which is fine by me, love. I never loved ya anyway.”

When his words don’t hurt, I can’t help but smile.

“Grand, ’cause if ya did, I think I’d have been worse off than I was. But no more.” He just stares up at me, and I hate that I wasted a part of my life on him. “Ya can’t hurt me, not anymore.”

When the tears start to burn my eyes, I turn on my heel, looking to the cop. “I’ll wait outside.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying for ya to do, madam.”

I flash him a grin. “Eh, I don’t listen well. I apologize.” I look to Jackson, and a grin is resting on his lips, his eyes burning such a lovely, warm shade of brown as he stares at me. “I’ll be outside.”

“I’ll be out there soon, I hope,” he says, his gaze cutting to the officers before coming back to me. “Wait for me?”

“Absolutely.”

I start for the doors just as he says, “Hey, Lena.”

I glance back at Jackson. “Yeah?”

“I’m proud of you.”

My heart soars, the tears rolling down my cheeks as I nod. I am proud of me too, but it’s all because of him. He found me when I had fallen, and he helped me rise. But I can’t tell him that right now, so in a whisper, I say, “Thank you.”

Hell, I want to say so much more.

But we have all the time in the world for that.

When Jackson gets in the car, I know something is wrong.

Leaning over, I kiss his cheek softly, but he doesn’t lean into it like he usually does.

“I’m so glad yer okay,” I say and he nods.

“It was nothing.”

His face is red, and the papers he’s holding are crumpled in his hand. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing,” he says dryly as Tony takes off. “Just have a huge cut in my face, and I have to return in a month because that bastard pressed charges. What a fucking pussy.”

“Did you press charges?”

“No. We’re men, we got it out, and we’re done. Fuck.”

I don’t understand why he is so upset, but I don’t want to ask with Tony in the car. Jackson’s obviously angry, and I don’t want Tony knowing why. It’s none of his business. Plus, I’m sort of hoping this doesn’t get back to my ma. I know it’s stupid to hope for, but I didn’t see any media tonight. So, I may get lucky.

When we stop in front of the house, Tony gets out first, and I’m surprised when Jackson goes out the other side without waiting for me like he usually does. When my door opens, I take Tony’s hand before stepping out, my gaze locking with Jackson’s as he comes around the car. His shoulders are tight, his eyes wild as he shakes his head.

“I’m gonna head to bed.”

I hook my thumb to the house. “I thought we were heading that way.”

“No, my bed.”

I just blink. “Oh?”

“Yeah. I need to think.”

My gaze narrows. “What in the world is wrong with ya?”

He looks down at the gravel, kicking a rock as he lets out a curse. “You make me fucking crazy.”

“Me?”

“Yeah! I’ve never in my life wanted to rip a man limb from limb. But tonight, I was ready to do it for you, and I didn’t even think about it. I just wanted him dead for hurting you. For touching you when he shouldn’t have. Fuck,” he yells, and my eyes are as big as quarters.

“I’m sorry?”

“Damn it,” he snaps, covering his face with his hands. “I had no choice. I couldn’t walk away from him without feeling the crack of his bones under my knuckle. Fiona tried to call me to her. But I refuse to allow someone to touch the person I love, even if it was years ago!”

The person I love. He loves me?

Breathless, I watch him as he goes on, “Now I have to come back in a month to face a judge, when I don’t have a clue what will be going on at the time. What if my new job doesn’t allow me to leave like Fiona does? What a fucking asshole! Fuck, it’s so inconvenient.”

I’d stopped listening, though. The person I love.

“Ya love me?” His eyes cut to mine as I take a step toward him. “Ya said, the person you love. That’s me?”

He lets out a long sigh, his eyes locking with mine. “Baby, you know I love you. Surely, you know that.”

I reach for his hand, lacing my fingers with his. “I love you too, Jackson.”

My heart is soaring, and when his shoulders fall, I fully expect him to take me in his arms. But instead, he says, “Man, I wish you hadn’t said that.”

I don’t understand. “Wait, what?”

Looking at the ground, he closes his eyes. “’Cause it’s going to make leaving even harder.”

He looks over at me, and surely, I’m hearing him wrong. He just told me he loved me. “What? Yer still leaving?”

He looks so pained. “You knew I was.”

“But…” I pause, holding his gaze. “But things are really good between us. We love each other!”

“But my three months are up.”

“So! Stay longer, then we can go.”

“I can’t.”

“Ya can!” I yell, my hands striking my hips. “That’s so stupid. So what, yer gonna leave, and that’s that? I thought we said we’d work it out!”

“That was before your mom needed you, and you sure as hell aren’t leaving now. We’re both going in different directions, Lena. I can’t settle down.”

My jaw drops. “Are ya fucking kidding me?”

“I told you I was leaving.”

“But that was before ya fell for me!”

He shakes his head. “I knew from the beginning that you were going to be important to me, but I can’t stay here. I want you to go with me, but even then, you’re going to want to settle down, and I don’t know that I can.”

My jaw still hangs open. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. I’m not asking for yer forever yet—”

“But you’ll want it, and I don’t think I can give it to you.”

“What in the hell? Why?”

Running his hands down his face, he lets out a huge sigh. “I can’t be anywhere longer than three months.”

I still don’t understand. “You were with yer ma for longer.”

“And it messed with me. I hated it, but she would guilt me into staying. When I left, though, I knew I’d never go back.” He looks at me, exhaling shakily. “I was only supposed to stay at my dad’s for three months. That’s what they all said when my mom left. Only ninety-one days and I would be back with my mom. But then he didn’t let me go.”

Staring at him, I slowly shake my head. “My heart breaks for that boy, Jackson, but you cannot let that fear ruin us. I’m not going to trap you. Ya want to leave, leave.”

“I am.”

“So ya want to leave me?”

“No, I want to take you with me. I want to love you for the rest of my life, but I know you can’t go the way I want to go. I want to leave all the time. I need to go to different places, but you have your responsibilities here. You can’t go.”

I can’t. I know I can’t, but how can he do this? “Jackson, this is insane. Yer gonna throw us away for something that happened so long ago? Something that will never happen again? Jacks, ya know that, right?”

He nods. “I do, but I have this itch, and I gotta keep moving.”

“Even if it means losing me?” When he looks away, my heart stops. What in the hell is happening? Taking a step toward him, I grab his wrist, urging him to look at me. “Ya told me to let it go. Not to give him any power. Do the same, Jackson. Don’t let him ruin you, us.”

“It’s not that easy—”

“Who ya telling? I know, but don’t you see? I want to move forward with you,” I urge, tears clouding my vision. “Ya want to travel, fine. We’ll go on holidays all the time—”

“Until when? You want to get married?”

“I do.”

“And you want babies.”

“I wouldn’t mind, but not now.”

“But you will.”

“Jackson, this is insane,” I yell, shaking my head. “How can ya say ya love me but not want to be with me?”

“I do want to be with you, but I worry I can’t be the guy you want.”

“But ya are!” I exclaim, tears falling down my cheeks. “You say you’ve gotta go. But, Jackson, ya live in my heart, so surely it means yer my destiny. And this is something we can fight together. Your da doesn’t have the power over you anymore. You do.”

“Lena—”

“No, Jacks. Let’s rewrite it all. Let’s erase all of it, let’s start new. Together, please, Jackson. The world is ours. Together. No more of yer da, no more of Casey. Just us and this love we share. We’re so good together, ya know that. I want ya to have my forever, and I want yers.”

But he won’t look at me. “I want that too. But, Lena, I start to feel like I’m suffocating as soon as I hit that three-month period.”

“Then I’ll help you breathe,” I plead as I reach for him, bringing his head down so his forehead presses to mine. “I love you, Jackson. I love you so much. Stay, don’t leave me. Please.” Gripping his face, I press my lips to his as my tears run down my cheeks and his. “You can’t. We’re meant to be together.”

“I want to believe that, but—”

“No buts. Please, Jackson. We can do this together. Just like ya helped me, I can help you through this.”

“It’s all in my head, Lena. It messes with me—”

“Then we’ll fight it. Together.”

But he’s already shaking his head. “I can’t.”

I drop my hands, my heart breaking in my chest as I fight for breath. “So ya don’t want to even try?”

“I don’t want to hurt you any more than I have.”

“So yer just gonna give up. Yer gonna let him win.” When his eyes start to cloud with tears, I have to look away. “That’s what yer doing if you leave. Yer letting him win.” He squeezes his eyes closed, and a tear leaks out and shatters me. “Yer breaking my heart, Jackson.”

“Which is why we should just end it now before it gets even messier.”

Opening my eyes, I meet his sad ones, and everything inside me goes cold. “Ya don’t mean that.”

“I love you. I love you so much it hurts, but maybe I’m not the man you need.”

“No, yer everything I need! You are my other half.”

“And you’re mine.”

“Then don’t leave.”

“I have to,” he whispers, and when he meets my gaze, his tears falling steadily, I know he’s really leaving me.

I want to hate him. I want to hit him. I want to scream, but all I can do is cry.

“I love you.”

He hiccups a sob before he swallows thickly, his eyes never leaving mine. Clearing his throat, he says, “I love you, Lena O’Callaghan. You deserve the world.”

“I don’t want anything but you,” I answer, and he stops mid-stride, his eyes closing as he presses his lips together.

“I’m sorry I’m not enough.”

“But ya are, and the sooner ya realize, the better.”

But he walks away, and I fear sooner may never come.

I fear I just lost the love of my life to a ghost.