Six

Winnie

“You did good tonight, Winnie. Better than Tess ever did when she first started,” Ace says as he punches my time card and sets it back in its spot on the metal rack.

Even though I don’t know him that well, his opinion matters to me. Jasper could tell him about all the rumors he’s heard floating around school. I’m sure Ace already knows the truth though. No matter what he thinks of me, I’ll prove my worth. Because when times get tough, I’m a fighter; I’m different.

“Thanks,” I tell him.

Like he can read my mind, he says, “Work is work, Winnie, and the card’s here. If you want to come back, I’ll let you work.”

“Isn’t it against the law for me to be here?”

He shrugs and runs his hand over his beard. “Technically, yes. You’re a good worker though, and I trust you. That’s worth its weight in gold around here. So, if you need money, I’d rather you come here than end up on your back.”

I take a step away from Ace, shocked that he thinks I would whore myself out like that. Not once have I ever spread my legs for a dollar bill. No amount of money would make me do that.

“Thanks anyway, Ace. Just make sure Tess gets her money when she comes in.”

“You don’t want to take it with you?”

“No. The less I have on me, the better. I’d rather it came from you, so she knows I came here and did the work the right way.” The last thing I need is her accusing me of stealing her clients who tip her the most.

“Just keep my offer in mind, Winnie. In case things get bad again, I want you to know, you have a place to go and a way to make some money that won’t get you killed. And it won’t be in the books if Tess ever asks questions.”

“You’ll pay me under the table?”

“Yes,” he says. “You can keep the tips you earn, and the hourly wage will be off the record.”

I glance at the time card with my name on it. It’s the most official document I’ve ever had, besides my birth certificate. But my birth certificate has a woman’s name on it I’ve never known, and somehow, the time card feels more important.

I’d make a lot more money at The Whip than I could at babysitting. I’d be able to buy the sewing machine and more fabric than I knew what to do with. Maybe, if I worked enough shifts, I’d even have enough to pay for design classes at the community college.

“Okay,” I tell Ace, “I’ll think about it. I just have to talk to Tess.”

If she sees me here without her permission, there’s no telling what she’d say or do. She might even kick me out. I can’t risk it—not yet anyway.

Ace sits on the edge of the desk and says, “Let me handle Tess. I’ll tell her you broke some shit while you were covering for her, and I need you to work off the money.”

“And then what? How long would that take?”

“If you’re still here in two weeks’ time, we’ll figure it out. When she’s high enough, she’ll do whatever I say.”

If Ace had ever been to the house, I’d think he knew Tess so well because he’d slept with her. But he doesn’t strike me as the type to go for a woman like her. He has a little girl to think about and a roof to keep over her head. If he screwed up, he could lose his family and their respect.

“You don’t care that Tess comes to work while she’s fucked up?”

“I only care that she does her job. As long as she gets on the stage when I tell her it’s time and keeps the customers happy, what she does is her business.”

“Does she waitress at all? Or was that a cover-up for the dancing?”

“She takes orders when she’s not dancing. Obviously, the money on the stage is a lot better, so she’d rather dance.”

Dad would be so ashamed if he knew Tess stripped. Especially since the money being shoved in her thong is going right up her nose. He would hate everything about The Whip, yet here I am, contemplating taking on a position.

“Good night, Ace.”

“Night, Winnie. See ya soon.”

When I round the corner, Jasper’s standing by the back door, holding it open with a cigarette in his hand.

“You staying or going?” I ask him.

“Going. I was waiting for you to finish up with my brother,” he says sarcastically.

“Why’d you say it like that?” I ask him.

“Like what?”

“Like I was doing something I shouldn’t have been doing.”

“Are you going to argue with me every time we talk?” he says with a smirk. “Because I’m sure I’ll say a lot more stupid shit by the time we get home.”

As soon as I kick the stilettos off my feet, I’m much better. He laughs when I debate on picking them up off the ground. But, if I don’t bring them home, I’ll have to pay for them.

“I’m not arguing with you. Sorry. That place is just intense, and I’m not used to it. I feel like being there is wrong.”

“It’s illegal. That’s entirely different than wrong.”

I raise my head. Without my shoes, Jasper’s suddenly four or five inches taller than me, and I feel small, walking next to him.

“Either way, it’s way more than I’m ready for.”

“You’re going back though, aren’t you?” he questions.

I hear the concern and maybe a little disappointment in his voice, how he’d rather I didn’t because it’s not the safest place for me to be. I’m not his sister, but I’m still a girl—an underage girl who has a lot to lose.

“I won’t lie; I’m scared, but I think I might have to. If I don’t start making more money, I’ll never be able to get out of Tess’s house when I turn eighteen.”

He smiles, and I notice the dimple on the corner of his mouth. His spiky, dark hair demands attention, but his eyes are enough to soothe the worry away. Probably because I’m used to angry blue eyes while she is screaming at me about one thing or another.

“Will you at least agree to work the same days as me if you go back?”

I avoid a bunch of rocks in my bare feet and bump into his side. He steadies me with an arm around my shoulders.

“Why?” I ask him. “So, you can protect me from the big, bad bikers?” It’s meant as a joke, and it makes The Whip seem less intimidating if I can laugh about it.

“Yeah,” he says, surprising me. “Ace won’t let you get in trouble, but he’s a lot busier than I am. He can’t make that kind of promise to you.”

I swallow the lump in my throat, wondering why he cares enough to want to help me in the first place. We’ve barely spoken before tonight, and when we have, it’s always been about math problems.

“I can take care of myself, Jasper. I’ve been doing it for a long time.”

“But you shouldn’t have to,” he says. “I know you’re all alone in that trailer. I can see it from my room.”

“You spy on me?”

“Calm down,” he tells me. “I can’t see in your windows or anything.”

“You are the strangest person,” I mumble. “Just please don’t tell anyone at school about The Whip.”

“You’re so quiet in school; nobody will have a clue.”

I’m quiet because it’s easier that way. The less people know about me, the better because we have nothing in common. While they’re all busy planning for college and talking about their new cars, I’m trying to figure out how I’ll support myself. All I have left is my senior year of high school and some impossible dreams.

“But you won’t tell…if anyone were to ask.” I need to hear Jasper say the words.

“I’d never tell,” Jasper says. “Not even my sister.”

I believe him, but there’s a reason he’s staring at the dirt path, worrying his lip between his teeth. I’m not about to ask though. Sometimes, it’s better to keep your mouth shut. Especially when you have too many secrets of your own. The more I talk, the more chances the truth could slip out. And I’ll never be ready to let go of that.

When we get closer to the trailer, I glance at him, and he smiles. It’s not forced, but I still don’t understand why he seems to care so much.

“This is me,” I tell him. “But you know that since you’re a creeper.”

Just as he laughs, something crashes against the wall in the trailer next door—the trailer that was abandoned until yesterday. We both stare at the porch like someone’s about to come flying out into the street, but the lights stay off, and other than the noise we heard, there are no signs of life.

“Must have been a cat or something,” Jasper says, still looking all around.

I can tell he doesn’t want to walk away from me after that—at least, not until I’m safely inside.

He stuffs his hands in the pockets of his jeans and gives me the most uncomfortable, awkward look. For choosing to walk me home, he sure looks like he regrets it.

After another long stretch of silence, he says, “I guess I should get going.”

“Yeah, I guess,” I whisper. “Which one is yours?”

He points over the fence to a white house with black shutters. In the front yard, there’s a big oak tree and a pretty weeping willow I used to think actually cried. The memory of my dad making up the story makes me laugh, and Jasper turns his head back to me.

“What?” he asks.

“Nothing. Just thinking.” It’s the first time in a long time I’ve had a happy memory about Dad that had nothing to do with the night he died. Lately, that’s all it’s been—reminders of the needle, followed by a date with the blade.

“I know it’s not much to look at, but thanks for walking me home. You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to. What’s your number? I want you to let me know when you’re going back.”

“I don’t have a cell phone,” I tell him, staring at the ground again. It’s bad enough he’s standing in front of the shitty trailer I call home.

Jasper takes a step forward, and he’s so close, I can hear him breathing, but the porch door cracks against the trailer. Tess is standing on the top step, wearing nothing but a slinky black slip. The only thing keeping it on her bony body is her boobs.

“Get the fuck inside, Winnie. It’s late.”

She’s high, which means she was able to get what she’d needed while I went to work for her. Figures. But an angry Tess means she’s not messed up enough. It’ll only get worse when she finds out Ace has her money.

“Will you be okay?” Jasper asks.

His hand is protectively resting on the small of my back. And, for a minute, I wonder what he’d do if I said no.

“It’s okay,” I lie. “She’ll calm down once I’m inside.”

But the truth is, she’ll keep going until she passes out. There’s no telling when that will happen or how much more she’ll need to snort before she’s satisfied.

Jasper digs into his back pocket and pulls out a wad of bills. He doesn’t count it; he just takes half and sticks it in my hand before Tess can see. “I heard what you said to my brother about the money, but she’s going to want it. Give it to her, and if you need anything else, come to my place. There’s a ladder on the side of the house, leading to my bedroom. Climb up. The window’s always open.”

“Jasper, I can’t take your money.”

But he doesn’t hear me. He’s already jogging toward the break in the fence. I make a mental note of where it is, just in case I ever need his help.

He’s right though. I don’t even have time to count the cash before Tess’s hand is sticking out, demanding it.

She spreads the bills out in her hand, shaking her head. “You must be a shitty waitress if this is all you made. I knew you’d fuck it up.”

“You’re right,” I tell her. “I’m not as good as you. Ace told me I have to come back and work until I make enough to pay for the glasses I broke tonight.”

Laughing, she throws on some shoes and pulls her hair into a ponytail. I know she’s heading to see her dealer. God forbid she save some of the money for a change.

“Then, you’ll go back and work the debt off. I can’t afford to pay for your mistakes, Winnie. And take my dress off, and wash it. I’ll need it tomorrow night.”

I glance at the dress and wish I could rip it right off my body. When I go back to work at The Whip, I’ll wear something of my own. And, whether it’s sexy enough or not, I’ll be me. Not some Tess wannabe because nobody in their right mind would ever want to be her.