We made it through winter formal where Tera and Carter were crowned king and queen after our live show for them. That irritated me to no end. She didn't want to tell me, but she knew I'd find out anyway. But we made it.

We made it through the last month of being apart and now I'm home. Tera's still at school. I told the guys I wanted to surprise her so to keep it quiet. It's a week before Christmas and I'm excited to spend it together with the family.

We made it three months apart and I still feel the same. I want to marry her.

I put the last strand of lights up and eye my handiwork. Not bad if I do say so myself. I've put up a miniature Christmas tree and put fairy lights around the upper edges of the room. I've got the music playing low.

God, how I need her. I hope she needs me too.

* * *

I'm lounging on her bed when she walks in. She's distracted as she talks on the phone. She sets her backpack on the chair in the corner, bending over to open the bag, looking for something, her back to the room—and me. I just wait—legs crossed at the ankles, hands locked behind my head on the pillow.

As if she senses me, she stands up straight.

"I have to go." I'm grinning like a fool, brows raised, when she turns around squealing, then jumping on top of me on the bed. I laugh. I can't help it.

"Xan! What are you doing here? I thought you weren't going to be back for another day!" She rains kisses all over my face and I just hold on to her like a lifeline. I breathe her in.

"I wanted to surprise you," I confess.

"Trickster!" She looks around the room. "Oh! You must have been here awhile."

It sounds as if she's happy. I hope she is.

"This is so beautiful, babe." She turns to me, tears welling in her eyes.

"No tears. We've shed enough tears for a while, don't you think?" For another month, at least. Inwardly, I cringe.

She nods. "These are happy tears."

"Nuh-uh. I don't care what kind of tears they are, no tears. Let's be happy now," I plead. I want this to be a special moment we both will remember with no sadness.

"I missed you!" Kiss. "I missed you!" Kiss. "I missed you!" Kiss.

I laugh. "I could get used to this."

She looks at me, lust in her eyes, a sexy little smirk. Hell yeah. She tugs at the hem of my shirt and I lift my arms to help her take it off. She heads straight for my zipper and in the blink of an eye, she's got my hard cock in her soft hands.

"Oh fuck," I groan.

"You like that?" she asks.

I just grunt as she strokes my cock.

"You're going to like this even more," she teases.

I barely register what she's said and her mouth is wrapped around my dick.

"Fuck!" I growl, lifting my hips involuntarily.

She takes me deep into the back of her throat and she tries for more.

"Baby."

All she does is moan.

She is like a woman on a mission and that mission is to get me to come. She's succeeding because it's not going to take long. It's been weeks since I've seen her, since she's touched me.

"I'm not going to last if you keep doing that. Where the hell did you learn that anyway?"

She snickers.

"You've been watching porn! Holy fuck, that's hot," I groan again as she twists her hand and pushes her mouth down, popping me through the resistance, and she swallows. Son of a bitch!

"Be careful," I caution. It feels fucking amazing but I don't want her to hurt herself. I can hear her breathing through her nose and when she reaches down to roll my balls in her hand, I feel it coming on fast.

"I'm gonna come," I warn. She just works me harder. And I lift my hips and pump into her mouth a few times before I let loose, coming hard and for what feels like forever.

"Holy Jesus." I wasn't expecting that. At all.

She sits up and there's a bit of my cum leaking out the side of her mouth. She slips her tongue out and licks it down.

I stare wide-eyed. Her expression is smug.

"What's gotten into you?" I ask.

"Hopefully you, very soon," she purrs.

"You've been watching porn," I murmur with a grin as I flip her onto her back. She lets out a surprised squeal, then giggles. Her cheeks flush with embarrassment. "Don't be embarrassed, baby. It's hot as fuck knowing you watched it so you could do sexy stuff to me."

Now she snickers. "Shea and I watched. There are no storylines. It was so disappointing. Just fake, stilted dialog that was obviously rehearsed and then straight up fucking—and some of that fucking was nasty."

I chuckle.

"And I really hope I don't sound like those chicks because they are so totally faking and just over the top."

I lift a brow. "Do you fake it?"

She startles. "No."

"Then don't worry about sounding like them. Your moans and cries of pleasure are natural and turn me on. Just thinking about it right now, my dick's already hard."

She looks down and goes to reach for me.

"Uh, uh, uh. My turn. Take your shirt and bra off," I instruct. I'll do the pants. And there's my girl, all spread out wild and naked for me.

I don't rush. I push my pants off all the way, then start with a kiss. My body resting on top of hers, my cock between her thighs. I can feel her wetness where my dick touches her and holy fuck it's all I can do not to slam into her and fuck her like an animal. But she deserves more. She is more.

I kiss down her neck and chest, one hand gently squeezing her breast, my thumb brushing across the tip. I replace my thumb with my mouth and she gasps. Then she moans. I move partly off of her so I can touch her pussy. Just as I thought. Hot and wet.

"Always so ready for me," I whisper against her stomach. I move off the bed and kneel on the floor, then pull her toward me. I don't give her a minute to think. I just take a long lick between her lips. Her hands fist in the blankets and I smirk. I love driving her crazy with pleasure. If I could, I'd make her come twenty times a day. She's so damn beautiful when she comes. Her face flushed with arousal, her body shaking in release.

"Xan," she moans.

"Mhm. That's right. It's Xan," I agree. "From how wet you are, I think you missed me as much as I missed you."

I slip a finger inside her and she blows out a long breath. I lightly circle her clit with my tongue, not giving her enough of what she wants. She lifts her hips. I pull back, chuckling when she lets out a frustrated sound.

"What do you want, baby?"

"I want you to quit teasing me," she groans.

I lick up then down, moving my finger slowly in and out of her pussy.

"This is teasing?" I question, knowing damn well it is.

"This is torture. I didn't torture you."

"This is true. You want me to make you come fast?"

"Yes, yes, that's what I want."

I add another finger.

"What then? We'll be done?" I dip my head down and flick my tongue against her.

"Done? No. Not done. Then we fuck," she breathes.

"I think that's a great plan. Hold on, baby."

I thrust my fingers deeper, harder, and faster, keeping my mouth and tongue focused on her hard little clit. Her head thrashes from side to side, her mouth open and emitting quiet breathy sighs and moans. She's so fucking hot.

Curling up my fingers just a bit, I search her spot—you know the one I’m talking about. It's the one that sets her on fire. It's the one that has her hips pushing against my hand and mouth. It's the one right there.

"Oh yes, yes. Right there. Please right there."

I give it to her. Everything she wants so she'll give me what I want—all of her pleasure. It took her awhile to relax enough to come while I went down on her, but once she did, she's been wild and I fucking love it.

"Ohhh, Xan," she breathes.

"So close, Tera. Just let go."

Licking her clit harder, fingering her faster, she finds a rhythm she likes and I work with her. It doesn't take her long at all and she's hanging there on the edge. She's resisting and I'm not going to let it happen.

"Give it to me, damn it."

I suck her clit into my mouth and press up into that spot, rubbing in small short strokes and she loses it. She bites her thumb to stop from screaming out loud. As it is, it's pretty fucking loud.

"Yeah, that's it. You're incredible."

I don't wait. I move up and plunge inside her still-spasming pussy.

"Holy shit, holy shit," she moans. I pump hard and fast into her and she comes again, or is it still? I don't know. Don't care either.

"Wait, wait," she pants, and I slow down.

I smirk. Yeah, I'm damn proud of myself, knowing I can do that to her.

She's breathing hard and when she opens her eyes, they narrow. "Smug fucker."

I laugh out loud. "Damn right. And you're a fine one to talk. I didn't miss that look you had earlier."

"That was different."

I laugh again. "Okay. Whatever you say."

I lean down on my elbows so we're chest-to-chest, nose-to-nose, body-to-body; and then I start moving.

Tera shakes her head. "I don't think I can do anymore."

I lift my brow. "That sounds like a challenge."

Her eyes widen. "No. Definitely not a challenge."

"I think it was. It's going to be a long night for you, baby," I warn.

But I don't fuck her like she's probably expecting. We did that already. Now it's time for me to savor her and let her know how much I missed her, how much I love her.

"Oh, Xan. You're going to make me cry," she murmurs, her lip quivering when I touch my nose to hers, our breaths mingling.

"That's okay. Cry if you need to. I'm gonna make slow sweet love to you now."

She nods and a tear runs down her face.

I press my lips to hers, kissing her long and deep, tongues touching and retreating. When I feel her get wetter and her moans intensify, I pick up the pace and thank the baby Jesus at the same time. I didn't know how much longer I could have kept that pace. I need more.

Her legs lift and wrap around my lower back, so I slide my hands under her ass, lifting her a bit, tilting her hips just right.

"Holy shit," she cries. "How do you do that?"

I can't even laugh. It feels too good, too intense, too much. The love in her eyes, the tenderness in her touch—it's all driving me closer and closer to the edge. I don't want to reach it until she does.

I feel her pussy start to clench around my dick and I grunt in pleasure.

"You feel so good, Tera. I want to feel you come with me."

She pants and arches her neck. "Harder, Xan. Just… Oh yes, that!"

I chuckle and groan at the same time.

Harder. Faster. Deeper. It's more. It's all emotions and feelings and pleasure. It's Tera. It's love.

"Just. Like. That," I say as I slam into her, grinding my pelvis against her clit.

"Yes!" she cries out, then bites my shoulder as she starts to come.

"Son of a bitch," I curse when she squeezes me so tight I can barely move. With each spasm of her pussy, I get pulled in deeper, deeper, and it triggers my own orgasm. I can't breathe. My whole body goes weak, shaking in pleasure. I think I'm going to be blind when I finish coming because I can't see a damn thing right now.

She holds me tight as we come together.

When the pleasure recedes, I want it back. That's one of Tera's and my most intimate moments while we made love. We have them, but sometimes they're overwhelming, like now.

With my cheek resting against hers, I feel her tears.

"Are you okay?" I whisper, unable to move.

She nods.

I press my forehead to her shoulder. "I think I’m blind."

"What?" she asks.

"I think, just now, you screwed me blind."

She snickers. "You're crazy."

"I'm not kidding, Tera. I can't see shit."

She cuffs me on the back of my head. "That's because your eyes are closed, dumbass."

"Oh. Yeah, that'd explain it. They were too heavy to lift so I thought they were open."

She laughs. "You're so weird."

And that's when I feel it.

My head snaps up. "Tera."

"Hmm?" she murmurs, playing with my hair.

"We might have a problem."

"What's that?" she asks.

How can she be so calm?

"I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't mean to… I just got carried away."

"What are you talking about?" she asks, confused.

"I didn't wear a condom." Generally, I do. My dad and his double-up guilt.

"Oh, that. We're fine. I've been taking my pills every day at the same time, just as your dad said."

"So we're okay?" I ask, more than a little freaked out. It's not the first time I've gone without a condom with Tera. It's just the first time we didn't have a back-up method like spermicide.

"We should be. There's like a one percent chance of getting pregnant if I take the pill like I'm supposed to, so I'm not worried," she reassures.

I nod. "Okay. Good. I'm just not ready to be a dad yet."

"You think I want to be a mom? Hell no."

I laugh. "It's just the first time I didn't use a condom or the gel. Usually, we use one or both."

She nods. "We're usually more careful. We will be from now on. It's just been awhile."

"And I was dying to get inside this pu—"

She smacks me. "Nice. Real nice."

I chuckle. "You know I’m kidding. I love you, Tera. I've fucking missed you."

"I've fucking missed you, too, Xan. It's been… difficult. But we did it. We can do this."

"Yeah, but it's not easy. I don't think it'll ever get easier. Can't you just come with me?" I ask, as I ease out of her.

"Ugh," she winces as our cum leaks out of her, "I am so taking a shower."

She side-stepped my question. I know what the answer is and I hate it. I want there to be a different answer. I want it to be possible. I want her there everyday. I want her to experience it all with me. And, yeah, that whole train of thought is as selfish as it gets. She has a dream, too. Her dream is a big one, like mine, and she deserves to chase it.

I step into the shower, hugging her from behind. She's a full head shorter than me. I love that she's so tiny. I can wrap her up in my arms and body and protect her and keep her warm.

"You get your project shipped off?" I ask. "The photos you sent were incredible, baby. You are so fucking talented. I can't even draw a round circle."

She snickers. "I know. But I can't carry a tune, remember?"

"Not true anymore," I correct. "That was when we were younger. The more you sang with us, the better you got. You're pretty damn good now. You could join the band. Sing up there with Jesse."

"No. No way. Have Jesse hump up on me on that stage nightly? Or Ben. Or Kennedy. Or Ethan—well, not Ethan. He's not as big of a dog as Ben and Jesse. Besides, I'd cramp your style."

"I hear the truth in your tone, T. I wish I could paint or draw as much as you wish you could be in the band. You can if you want, but I know you want to pursue your art, and I admire that a hell of a lot," I admit.

"Yeah?" she asks.

"Yep. You're an incredible person, T. Talented, loving, gorgeous, sexy, and a wildcat in the sack."

She laughs. "Don't tell anyone that last part."

"Fuck no. I don't want anyone to know that shit or they'll start chasing you harder than they already are," I scowl.

She rolls her eyes. "No one is chasing me, you dork."

I sigh. "Don't even try. I get the low down from Carter. They all try to get your attention. You just don't notice."

She shrugs. "I don't. No one matters like that but you."

My heart thumps harder. "Good answer."

"It's the truth."

I grab the shampoo and start lathering her hair. "Christ, you have a lot of hair."

"Mmm, that feels good."

I massage her scalp.

"So, if it's the truth that I'm the only one you notice and I'm the one you're in love with," I begin, then turn her so her back is to the water again and begin rinsing her hair, "then I think it's only right that you say yes."

Her brows furrow. "I'm not doing anal, Xan. I said maybe someday—"

I laugh, cutting her off. "While that's a really intriguing thought, that's not what I meant."

"Huh?"

I finish rinsing her hair then start putting conditioner in. She turns to rinse and I hold her shoulders. She meets my gaze.

"Tera."

Her eyebrows raise.

"Marry me."

Her mouth opens, closes, opens, and closes again.

I hold my breath as I wait.

She forgets herself and steps under the spray, water and hair conditioner getting in her mouth. She snickers as she rinses her mouth.

I'm turning blue. I'm sure of it. I'll die of oxygen depravation.

Her hands cup my cheeks, pulling me down to her so our eyes are level. "Yes."

I blow out the breath I was holding. "Yes?" I squeak.

She laughs and nods. "Yes. Yes, I'll marry you. I'll be your wife and it'll be you and me together for as long as we both shall live."

I hug her tight to me. "You don't even know how happy I am right now."

"I’m getting an idea," she teases when my hardening cock presses against her.

"Ignore it. My cock can't help itself. It loves you, too."

"And I love it… and you."

"I love you so much, Tera." We hug for a few minutes. "Let's go get some food so we can come back to bed and I can fuck you until you can't come anymore."

"I am going to be so sore."

"Damn right." I shut the water off and smack her ass. She squeaks and I chuckle. "Get a move on, woman. I have a ring to give you and I need food."

Her stomach growls.

"And you need food, too."

She laughs. "We're getting married!"

Fuck yeah, we are!