I'm working my way down his body and he stops me. Stops me. What the hell?

"Can't do that now. Later," he tells me.

The light bulb goes on. "Oooh."

"Yeah."

"So, can we skip all the major foreplay then?" I ask. "Because I'm so turned on, Xan, I don't really need it. I just want to feel you."

I feel no embarrassment under his scrutiny. There's no room for that here.

Xander nods and crawls up the bed, pulling the blankets back, urging me to lie back and rest my head on the pillow.

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispers, and I hear the double meaning there.

"You won't." Nothing can hurt me as badly as when we were apart.

He reaches over to the nightstand and picks up one of the condoms sitting there. After rolling it on, he settles in next to me. He's as worked up as I am. I can tell. His breathing is heavy, his heart is beating a mile a minute: it's all a mirror of me.

Xander moans when he slants his mouth over mine in a tongue-tangling kiss that has my toes curling. Just a kiss has me getting wetter. His hand slides down my body and he reaches between my legs. His fingers glide over me, dipping into the moisture pooling there.

He looks at me. "You're as wet as I am hard. I have a feeling this first time won't last long."

My eyes widen. "First time?"

He nods. "Oh yeah. Once won't be enough. I don't think it'll ever be enough."

"Then what are you waiting for? Haven't we waited long enough?" I encourage.

"Fucking A we have." He positions himself between my legs and guides his cock to my opening. "Tell me if I do anything that hurts or you don't like, okay?"

I lick my lips, anxious, nervous, and horny as hell. "Okay."

His eyes never leave mine as he slowly pushes inside me. He's gentle and tender and I can tell it's not easy for him to be. Honestly, I don't want him to be. I want to know what all the fuss is about. Carter and I had sex, but I didn't orgasm with him. Not once. I don't think I'm going to have that problem with Xander because we just started and it feels so good I want to cry.

"Xan," I breathe against his lips.

"Yeah?"

"Don't go slow. Not this time. I really, really want you."

"God, Tera. I thought knowing you're all hot and horny for me was the biggest fucking turn on ever. Hearing you say you really want me in that needy voice…" He lets out a growl and thrusts into me.

"Yes," I say, trying to be quiet. I think I'm failing because he slams his mouth down on mine and kisses me deeply as he fills me completely. I moan into his mouth and he groans in return.

I want him deeper. I need him deeper. I lift my legs and wrap them around his waist.

"Oh, that's so good," he tells me, his eyes closing. Without warning, his lips wrap around my nipple, and he tugs it gently with his teeth.

"Fuck," I cry, and he chuckles.

"Quiet, baby, or someone's going to hear you."

"I can't help it."

He pumps faster and harder, sweat beading his brow.

"Lift your hips and—yeah, just like that," he praises.

I meet him in the middle.

"Tera," he whispers, his gaze meeting mine.

"Xan," I whisper back.

"I want you to come with me."

I want that too, but I don't know… I've never… Then he changes the angle and holy crap. He's hitting some magical spot inside me and rubbing against my clit in just the right way.

It feels so good, the pleasure building and building until it's almost frightening.

"Xan," I whisper hesitantly.

"It's okay, baby. I'll catch you. Don't be afraid."

I arch my back, taking him impossibly deeper, him rubbing me harder, and the bubble of pleasure explodes. It all starts in my pussy and works its way outward. Bright swirling lights, tingling arms and legs, my breath backing up in my lungs. Ohgodohgodohgod. I don't think I'll survive.

"Xan!" I cry as my body shakes.

"That's it, Tera. God, you're beautiful."

He thrusts into me a couple more times and he lets go, too. His face contorts in pleasure, he grunts with each additional pump of his hips, and then he lets out a long and low groan. "Tera."

I expect him to collapse on top of me, pull out, and go to clean up, but none of that happens. It's not fair of me to compare sex with Carter to sex with Xander, because with Xander it's so much more.

He rests his elbows on either side of my shoulders and touches his nose to mine.

"Now you're mine, Tera. There's no going back. There're no changing minds. It's you and me—no matter what."

Xander kisses me tenderly as the tears slip from my cheeks. I'm his. I've waited for this forever and I never thought it would happen, but I'm his. And he's mine.

"I love you so much, Tera."

"Oh, Xan, I love you too."

We hug for a few minutes. He kisses the tip of my nose then goes to dispose of the condom. He comes back with a wet rag and I smirk. I'm not a virgin. But he wipes between my legs softly and the warm cloth feels nice.

Could I be any more exposed?

His brow is furrowed.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"You said you and Carter had sex, right?"

I nod.

"Then why did you bleed?" he asks, lifting the cloth for me to see.

"Oh my God," I say, blushing profusely. "Um… I don't know?"

"Do you think you might have your period?" he asks. "I didn't hurt you, did I? If I made you bleed…"

"No. Stop. I'm sure it's all normal, but if I keep bleeding I'll talk to your dad," I tell him.

"That'll be fun. 'Dr. Mac. I had sex with Xan and now I'm bleeding’." He chuckles.

"As if he doesn't think we've been having sex since we got back together. I'm sure he thinks we've been going at it a lot," I tease, yet in truth, I wonder why we haven't.

"I know what you're thinking."

I shake my head.

"Yes, I do," he tells me, lying on his side, facing me. I face him and he covers us up. The air conditioning is cold.

"Whatever," I say, tucking my hands between my cheek and the pillow as Xan's doing.

"I've wanted you, Tera. So much I've been hard almost every minute of every single day. I just didn't want to rush you. I didn't want you to think you have to give me sex for me to love you. You don't. I'm going to love you no matter what."

He kisses me again, just a press of lips.

"I know it's my fault you don't believe that, but you need to start. There is no one who will ever compare to you," he confesses.

"Xan."

"I mean it."

I nod. "I believe you." How can I not? The sincerity and love in his eyes can't be faked.

"You know, one of the things I love most about you is your heart."

"Yeah?"

I nod. "See, I've noticed something about you. When you feel, you feel it with everything you've got. When you hurt, you break. When you love, you love fiercely. When you're happy, it's infectious."

"You're the same way."

"No. I don't go all-in with everyone. Only those I can trust, and I trust you with me. All of me," I profess.

"Good." He pulls me close and starts kissing me again, only this time it's not so gentle and it doesn't stop.

"Mmm," I moan into his mouth.

"The sounds you make are so fucking hot. I can't wait to get you alone somewhere so you can scream as loud as you want—and I am going to make you scream. Make no mistake about it." He grins that cocky grin.

"Yeah, yeah. We'll see if you can deliver on prom night. Maybe some of the others will hear me while they're partying down the hall. Then your buddies will slap you on the back, pride and all that," I snort.

"You're such a brat," he declares.

"Of course I am. You know this."

He laughs.

I don't want to ask, but I want to know. Why? Why do I do this to myself? I frown at myself.

"What is it?" he asks.

I sigh. "Nothing important."

"No you don't. Spill it, bratty pants."

"I don't want to."

"Too bad. Tell me."

I roll my eyes then meet his gaze. "It's just…"

His face softens and he nods knowingly. He swallows nervously.

"You need a number."

"I don’t need it. I'm just… I wonder sometimes."

"How many do you think?" he asks, straight-faced.

"Uh, I don't know."

"Take a guess."

"Fifteen," I blurt out.

His brows lift and he grins that grin again. "Wow. You think I'm a stud, huh?"

"Oh boy. Your ego does not need to inflate any more," I tease.

"Nowhere near that many. You think I'm a whore. I'm kind of insulted," he says, feigning offense.

I snort. "You're so not."

He grins. "No, I'm not." He pauses, looking at me, making sure I'm looking at him. "Four."

I gasp. I can't help it. The surprise…

"Three were willing. Then that one where I wouldn't have been willing if she hadn't drugged me. I'd prefer not to count that one, so let's make it three."

I nod. "Wow. Not at all what I was expecting."

"I think Jesse might be close to the big number, though."

I wrinkle my nose. "He is such a slut. He's always been like that. I don't think he's ever going to settle down. He's going to be manwhoring in a nursing home."

Xan chuckles. "Probably."

I snicker.

"Since I know your one, you want names?" he questions.

I shake my head. "No. Absolutely not. I don't want to have to kick someone's ass. The less I know, the better. But thanks for the offer."

He nods. "I'll always tell you everything."

"You are the best guy I know."

"Of course I am."

"You're pretty hot, too."

"I knew it. You think I'm sexy and hot and you want to use me for my body."

"Hmm. Would that be a problem?"

He laughs and I smile wide.

"Not at all. I'm a teenage guy. I want to fuck and fuck and fuck some more."

I roll my eyes. "You think teenage girls aren't like that, too?"

His brows go up. "Yeah? Think you can go again?"

I snicker. "I could be persuaded."

I barely finish the sentence and he's on me. I laugh but it quickly turns into a moan.

He's very good at persuasion.