I WOKE UP THE NEXT morning, covered in a light sheen of sweat. Sweet Jesus, it’s hot in here. As I came out of my sleepy fog, I realized I wasn’t in bed alone. Wrapped tightly around my waist, a hot heavy arm held me in place. Slowly blinking my eyes open, I remembered where I was. I woke up facing the door.
As the realization of where I was set in, so did the realization of who was curled up behind me.
I was in bed with Cooper.
And he was holding me.
Inside, it felt like I was screaming from the top of the Empire State Building, as I silently freaked out. I tried desperately to control my breathing and not move an inch. I wanted to memorize how it felt. How the weight of his arm was almost painful but made me feel safer than I had in weeks. I never wanted to forget the heat of his body against my back or the soft snore of him breathing. I paced my breaths to match his, imagining his heart beating in time with mine.
Just as I closed my eyes to savor the moment, the bedroom door burst open. On the other side, an unhappy Ashton and one highly amused Anna.
“Jesus, Lizzy. You scared the fuck out of me.” Ashton’s hands went to his dark hair and pulled. “I thought someone snatched you.”
Anna giggled. “Someone did. Look at him. He’s wound around her like a snake.”
“He can hear you,” Cooper mumbled into my hair.
Oh, God. I probably look like a wreck.
“Anna, can you please get that stupid wheelchair? I need to pee,” I said on a yawn, sitting up. Cooper’s arm released me.
“No,” Cooper grunted. “I got you.” He pulled himself up, came around the bed and stopped dead in his tracks. “Uh, I’ll be right back.” He turned around and pushed past Ashton and Anna.
“What the hell?” I heard the bathroom door click shut. Ashton laughed while Anna looked at the ceiling. I glanced up to see what she was staring at. “What’re you looking at?”
“Not Cooper’s massive morning wood,” Anna blurted out, six shades of red.
“Whoa,” Ashton warned and swatted Anna on the butt earning himself a little yelp.
My cheeks actually tingled because I blushed so hard. I wasn’t sure what to say or do so I sat there.
“How’d you end up in here?” Ashton finally asked. I knew the question was burning his tongue.
“Nightmare.” Just the word made my skin pimple and hair stand up.
Anna came over to the bed, pulled back the blanket, and helped me to the edge of the bed. “You wanna talk about it?” she whispered. I shook my head.
“Why don’t you let me take you to the powder room?” Ashton pushed off the doorframe and bent over to pick me up.
“I don’t care how I get to a toilet, but I need to get there before I pee myself.”
Anna laughed. “I’m not cleaning that up.” She threw up her hands.
“Come on.” Ashton slid his arm under my thighs and around my back as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Don’t pee on me.”
I giggled. “Is this like the puke thing?”
Anna looked from me to Ashton, her brow pinched. “Huh?”
“Anytime Lizzy pukes, I puke.” Ashton lifted me effortlessly, turned, and started out of the bedroom.
“Like telepathic puking? Or just when you see her barfing?” Anna cringed.
“Just when I see it, hear it, or smell it.” Ashton walked down the hall.
I laughed a little too hard. “Crap. That hurt.” The toilet flushed as we passed by the bathroom and the door flew open. Standing in the doorway was the sexiest man I have ever seen. Cooper was still wearing the red and silver, silky basketball shorts and was still bare-chested. If Ashton wasn’t carrying me, I would have fallen at his feet.
“I said I had her,” Cooper barked.
“She needed to go. She doesn’t need to sit around waitin’ on you.” Ashton stopped and turned to look at Cooper, narrowly missing the wall with my heavily bandaged leg. They had put a fiberglass splint around my leg with ace bandages after surgery.
“Yo! Watch the leg,” I warned.
“See, you’re gonna hurt her. Give her to me,” Cooper insisted.
“I’m gonna hurt her? Nah, bro. That’s your department,” Ashton goaded.
“Can you just put me down so I can pee?” I looked at the toilet, clenching my thighs together.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Cooper’s fists tightened at his sides.
“You know exactly what the fuck that means!”
“Ashton, seriously, put me down.” I tried once more to politely intercede, but they ignored me and continued bickering like insolent children. “Put. Me. The. Fuck. Down.”
Silence.
“Now that I have your attention, put me down. Now. I’ll hop into the damn bathroom.”
Cooper stepped out of the way as Ashton set me down just inside the bathroom. Anna was standing in front of Ashton’s room with her jaw on the floor.
I rarely cussed, but I never used the F word.
“You two need to work your crap out. Talk or do whatever you two do, but I’m not going to deal with the passive aggressive jabs for the next two weeks.” With that, I slammed the door and used the countertop to balance as I hopped slowly to the toilet. My side screamed in pain.
Several minutes later, I opened the door and peeked out. It was quiet. Too quiet. For a split second, I worried they had all left me. “Hello?”
“I’m coming.” I heard Anna say followed by a few bangs and cusses as the wheelchair came out of Ashton’s room. The one leg was straight out in front but I had the nurse remove the other one so I could use my good foot to push myself around some.
Jesus, she’s going to kill me in that thing.
“Do I even wanna know where the hot-heads are?” I sat down and looked over my shoulder up at her.
“I think they grumbled something about the barn. Is that bad?”
Facing forward, I took a deep breath and held it in for a few seconds and blew it out loudly. “It’s not a good thing. We should probably go check on them. They could be beating the shit out of each other.”
Anna laughed but stopped when I turned back around wide-eyed. “Oh, shit. You’re serious?”
“Yeah. Let’s go,” I said, nodded my head enthusiastically. “You might need the hose.”
Anna laughed again. “Dear God, please, let me use the hose on them.”
Anna and I found the boys outside in the barn. Much to my surprise, they weren’t bleeding or bruising. They were sitting on hay bales, across the aisle from each other. The horses were all in their stalls eating. I could smell the molasses of the sweet-feed they got in the mornings.
“You didn’t kill each other. Nice.” I said as Anna wheeled me down through the barn. “Coop, can you and Anna give me and Ashton a few minutes?”
“Should you be out here?” Cooper stood, barefoot and still shirtless. I rolled my lips in to be sure I wasn’t drooling.
“I’m fine.” I smiled, touched by his concern. Concern had never been the issue between Cooper and me.
“I’ll go start on breakfast and check on Dad,” Cooper said, walking away.
“You good?” Anna asked Ashton with a sympathetic smile.
“All good.”
Watching them leave, I wrapped my hands around the wheels and pushed myself over to Ashton. “We should probably talk.”
“Probably.” He leaned down, resting his elbows on his knees. “I’m really sorry this happened to you, Lizzy.” He looked up at me with a frown.
“I am too, but the only thing I can do now is focus on healing.” I set the brake and slouched in the chair. “It’s not Cooper’s fault. That wasn’t fair of you to say that to him. He’s already beating himself up enough without you adding to it.”
“I know. I apologized.” Ashton pushed off his elbows and straightened his spine. “I know it wasn’t his fault, he wasn’t driving, but if he wouldn’t have been a dick to you, you wouldn’t have left.”
“Leaving is on me. If I wouldn’t have spilled my dang guts and told him . . .”
“That you’re in love with him,” Ashton continued what I didn’t have the courage to say. “It’s okay, Lizzy. I know.” He shrugged. “I guess I’ve always known. I just thought maybe, eventually, you’d feel the same way about me.”
“Ashton.” My heart crumbled.
“Wait, it’s okay. I get it. And honestly, I think my feelings for you were more a childhood crush that I just couldn’t let go of. I never let anyone get close enough to figure out if I could love anyone else.” He looked at me, beaming. “Until Anna.” He and I hadn’t talked much about how he felt about Anna. For the first time, I felt like Ashton had moved on and wanted me to do the same.
“And you’re letting her in? Do you love her?” I asked, a little over enthusiastically.
“Whoa, slow down. It’s only been like a week.” He stood and started pacing. “But, yeah, I’m letting her in. A little . . . She’s really easy to talk to and-,”
“No details. She’s my best friend and you’re like my brother. How would you feel if I started telling you about how-,”
“La-la-la-la,” Ashton said loudly, covering his ears. “No sharing. Got it.” He smiled and sat back down in front of me. “I want you to be happy . . . You know he feels the same way, right? He told me what you said, how you feel.”
“He did?” My jaw hit the floor.
“Yeah. He got drunk Saturday night after they said you were going to be in surgery for hours and sent us all home. He told me how he kissed you and then I walked in. He started telling me what you said and how you begged him to be honest with you. He also told me that he looked you in the eye and lied straight to your face.”
A tear escaped and rolled down my cheek. It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest all over again, remembering that conversation. Then his words sunk in and I wiped away the tears. “He told you he lied?”
“He did. Said it’s one of the hardest things he’s ever done.”
“Why?” I swiped my index finger under my eye, getting rid of the tears.
Ashton’s shoulders sagged. I knew before he said anything. “Me. He didn’t want to hurt me.”
“I don’t want to hurt you either, Ash. It kills me that I could hurt you the way he hurt me.”
Ash smiled and shook his head. “Lizzy, it’s in the past. We all have to live in the here and now. I know where we stand. I always have. I don’t want to be the reason that you two aren’t happy.”
“That’s all I want for you, too.” I single tear escaped and rolled down my cheek as hope filled my heart and my mind. “I want a love like my parents and your parents have.”
His brow pinched together, and he tilted his head. “Speaking of which, your dad told me.”
“Told you what?” I tilted my head, confused at the change of subject.
“About the texts . . . Have you gotten any since you woke up?”
“No.” I sighed. “Thankfully, Dad got my number changed and I haven’t had to deal with it.” Suddenly, I thought about all the places I would have to change my number and groaned.
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“We’ve been over this, Ash. I’m sorry. Really. If I could go back, I would.”
Peaches stuck her head out of the stall, still chewing, and snorted.
Ashton gave me a sympathetic smile. “So, did your Dad figure out who the person taking the picture was?”
“Huh?” I cocked my head to the side. I didn’t know my father was looking into who took the picture.
“Yesterday, he asked me if I remembered seeing anyone around us acting funny when we were at the grocery store. I, of course, had no idea what he was talking about and he had to clue me in.”
“Oh.” The only word I could manage to get out. I wanted to shrink into myself for being so stupid. I should have told someone other than Anna or at least listened to Anna’s advice. “I’m not sure. He hasn’t said anything to me.”
Anna ran in crying and broke up our little heartfelt talk. “Ashton, you have to get inside.”
“What’s wrong?” He leapt to his feet and ran to her.
“It’s your dad. Your mom said to come get you,” Anna sniffled. Ashton took off in a sprint as Anna came to me. Reaching down with both hands, I pushed the levers forward and released the brake. “I’ll push you.”
“Is he . . .” The words caught in my throat. I couldn’t even force the rest out.
“I don’t think so, but it’s bad. Maria was sobbing,” she said, pushing me out of the barn as quickly as she could.
The ride across the gravel driveway and yard seemed to take forever. My body wanted to jump up and run to Scott. I had not seen him in over a week. I needed to say goodbye. I had to. “Hurry.”
Anna didn’t reply, she didn’t need to. She knew I was frantic to get to him. Wheeling me up the ramp and through the house, Anna got me to Maria and Scott’s room on the far end of the house. It was so quiet. Too quiet. Cooper and Ashton were sitting on either side of the bed, tears streaming down their faces, as Maria knelt next to him so her face was next to his.
The whole house felt somber, his demise palpable. The air was thick with anguish and unanswered prayers. I could feel my heart crumbing into a hundred pieces as we crossed the threshold.
We all knew.
I watched without saying anything as he took shallow, uneasy breaths. Sadly, I felt relieved, seeing him with us still. I knew I should want him at peace, but I was selfish.
“There’s . . . my . . . girl.” Scott’s tired eyes met mine as my vision blurred from the tears pouring out of them. “No . . . crying.” He lifted his hand and Anna pushed me closer, next to Cooper. “Remember what . . . I said.” His eyes went to Cooper. “Don’t . . . waste . . . time.”
Pain filled my chest as I bit the inside of my cheek to hold back the sobs that tried to wrack my body. “I promise. I love you, Scott. You were always like a dad to me. I promise you, I’ll take care of them.” I held my hand out but couldn’t reach him.
Cooper stood and slipped his arm under my legs, picking me up. I wrapped one arm around his neck and used my free hand to wipe away his tears. He turned and set me down closer to Scott. I leaned forward and hugged him.
“I . . . love you . . . Kins.” Each word was a struggle, but he seemed desperate to say it. When I released him, he took a shallow breath and stared off in the distance toward the door.
I reached my arms out to Cooper for him to pick me back up and set me back in the chair. The boys and Maria needed to spend the last little bit of time with him.
“Storm?” I gasped. I hadn’t seen him. Scott was waiting for Storm to come through the door.
“He’s on his way. He left late last night but stopped at a hotel outside of Baltimore because he was falling asleep.” Maria used the handful of tissues to wipe her nose.
“I’m . . . not going . . . anywhere . . . yet.”
Ashton’s head fell as his hands covered his face. Immediately, Anna left the wheelchair and went to his side, wrapping her arms around his head, pulling him to her chest. I could hear his sobs and it killed me.
I needed to get out of there. I tried so hard to stay strong for everyone else, but I was losing the battle. I unlocked the wheels, spun myself around, and left as quickly as I could push myself. Halfway through the family room, I heard footsteps behind me.
“Where are you going?” Cooper asked.
“I can’t . . .” I sniffled. “I just need a minute.” I stopped and sat still, my shoulders shook as I cried, unable to stop the tears. “I’m sorry. You should go back in there, Coop. You need to be with him.”
“You do too. You’re the only daughter he’s ever had.” Spinning me around to face him, Cooper knelt in front of me. “Please . . . I need you in there.” He sucked in his top lip as a tear slid down his cheek, reaching his scruff. He hadn’t shaved in a few days.
“Okay.” I reached down and slipped my hands along his cheeks to his jaw. Holding his face, I looked deeply into his red eyes, wishing I knew what to say to comfort him, but grief had stolen my voice. I used the pad of my thumbs to dry his cheeks.
Without another word, he turned his head into my left hand, kissed it, then stood.
Anna came out of the room. “I’m going to find another box of tissues.”
“Thanks,” Cooper said, pushing me back into the master bedroom.
“See, Dad, here she is. She’s fine,” Ashton said, standing up and walking over to me. He bent down and whispered, “He’s worried he upset you.”
I took a deep breath and pushed away as much of the emotions I could. “I’m fine. I just went to see if Storm was here yet.”
“You’re a,” Scott struggled to take another shallow breath. “A bad . . . liar.”
I looked at Maria. “Do you want me to call the nurse?”
She glanced away from Scott long enough to say, “She’s in route.”
A loud, familiar voice came booming through the house.
Storm was home.
I wanted to run from the room. I didn’t want to watch Scott die. I didn’t want to watch him say goodbye to his sons; his wife. I didn’t want to watch him struggle to take his last breaths.
But I did and a little piece of me died.
Sorrow shredded my heart as I watched Storm crawl into the king-size bed, up next to his dad. He kissed his forehead and whispered in his ear. Ashton and Cooper took their places at their father’s side while Maria held his hand, with tears streaming down her face. I couldn’t imagine the pain she must have felt, telling the love of her life goodbye.
I watched as the boys hung their heads and Maria said, “We love you, honey. It’s okay. You’ve fought hard and long. It’s time to be at peace. Death is swallowed up in victory. Today you win.”
My hands flew to cover my mouth as I tried to hold in the howl of pain that escaped my constricted throat.
Scott closed his eyes and slipped away, leaving his pain behind. Leaving us behind with only love and memories to get us through our insurmountable pain.