TWO HOURS LATER, AFTER FINALLY giving in and agreeing I needed to occupy my mind with something other than my attack, Anna and I were dressed and on our way to Howard’s. I insisted on driving since she wasn’t familiar with the area and had just driven all the way here. If I was being honest, it also meant that I couldn’t get trashed. I wasn’t the type of person that could drink away their sorrow, but I needed to unwind a little.
By sheer luck, I pulled up and found an empty spot on the one-way street directly in front of Howard’s. “They don’t have sushi, but they have a pretty good burger and, if Ethan is working, one helluva margarita.”
We climbed out of the car after I put the convertible top up because it looked like any second the skies could open up and pour down. The warm, damp air swirled around with a fresh, earthy aroma; it was almost therapeutic.
Dressed casually in tight faded blue jeans, a white ribbed tank, and brown cowboy boots, I looked the complete opposite of Anna. She looked fantastic, dressed in black skinny jeans, a flowing cerulean blue top, and the sexiest blue four-inch pointy toe, ankle strapped stilettos I have ever seen. Anna was flawless and all sexy city while I was casual country. We complimented each other well despite our difference.
Pulling open the door, I ushered her through in front of me. To our left, the majority of the barstools toward the front were occupied, so I stepped around Anna and tipped my head toward the back. “We should be able to get a seat in the back. You want bar or table?”
“Bar,” she said, looking around, surveying the prospects for the evening. I had already warned her there would be a bunch of immature, but fun to look at, locals. For the most part, people grew up here and stayed here. Sure, some went away to college, but most came back to raise their families in the quiet, peaceful town.
Walking toward the back, I saw James behind the bar, but no Ethan. “Dang, I thought Ethan would be here tonight.”
“Who’s Ethan again?” Anna asked, trailing behind.
“My good friend from high school, we worked together for a few years at the liquor store,” I reminded her.
“Oh, right.”
Finding two seats at the end of the bar, I pulled my barstool out then ponied up, Anna following suit. We were only a few feet away from the large, arched pass-through into the pool room. Leaning forward, resting my forearms on the bar in front of me, I tried to get James’ attention.
“What are you drinking?” I asked Anna.
“Not sure, what about you?”
“She’ll be havin’ one of my incredible margaritas, isn’t that right, Kinsley?” Ethan’s voice came up from behind me and took me by surprise.
“Eek! You’re here.” I pushed off the bar, spun, and wrapped my arms around Ethan’s waist. “Ethan, this is my friend, Anna, from school. Anna, meet Ethan.”
“Nice to meet you.” Anna smiled politely, tipping her head. “I hear I need to try your margarita.”
“I can definitely make that happen.” He nodded. “What are you doin’ out tonight?” Ethan questioned, coming around the bar and standing in front of our seats.
“Anna just got into town this morning and we decided to celebrate,” I explained, taking my seat once more.
“Celebratin’ huh, Kins.” Ashton appeared with bloodshot eyes from around the corner of the pool room with a bottle of Yuengling in hand.
“Ash . . .”
“Don’t worry,” he scowled, “I’m not here to interrupt. Just gotta piss,” he grumbled and all but stomped past, sitting the empty bottle down on the bar in front of me as he went.
I stood and followed him. “Ashton, wait.”
“Kinsley, I said gotta piss. I don’t feel like doing this with you right now.” Now, I know he’s pissed. He never called me Kinsley unless he was upset with me. My heart hurt at his brush off, but I’d be damned if I let him know it.
“Ashton Madsen O’Loughlin, I swear to God, if I have to follow you into the men’s room I will,” I warned, using my hurt to push my agenda.
Ashton laughed as his hand flattened against the door and pushed it open. “Yeah, right.”
“Ugh,” I sulked. I hated when he was right. No way in hell I would go into the men’s bathroom. Chewing the inside of my cheek, I glared hatefully at the door then returned to my seat. I had no interest in making a scene.
“You good?” Anna asked.
“No. He wouldn’t talk to me.”
“Ladies,” Ethan returned and placed our drink in front of us on cardboard coasters, “you guys wanna order any food?”
“Yeah, can I get a menu, please?” Anna smiled, reaching out and sliding her drink back to her. Lifting the pint glass to her mouth, her tongue darted out and licked the salt-encrusted rim before sipping the cocktail. “Mmm, that’s good.”
“Thanks. Kins, you need a menu?”
“Nah, I know what I want.” I picked up the glass, pinched the clear straw, and sucked down a good quarter of the tart drink, still stewing.
“Cool, I’ll give you a minute then I’ll come back and get your orders,” Ethan addressed Anna then turned and walked down the bar to the next patron waiting.
“So much for not getting shitfaced.” Anna chuckled behind her menu. “You gettin’ the burger?” she asked, lowering the menu enough to see the whites of her chestnut brown eyes.
“Yeah,” I answered, pulling the straw from my lips, setting my drink back down. The lull between songs on the jukebox allowed me to hear the rain pounding down on the roof of the small bar.
“You wanna talk, fine. Then let’s talk,” Ashton whispered. The warmth of his breath on my neck caused me to shiver slightly. “Anna, I hope you’ll excuse us for just a few minutes. Ryan, can you hang here with Anna?”
“Sure.” Ryan smiled deviously as he appraised Anna.
Standing, I gave up my seat to Ryan but not before Ashton could quietly warn, “Don’t get any ideas either.”
Ryan held up his hands feigning innocence. “Me? I’m harmless.”
Unable to hold it in, a laugh escaped my lips. Slapping my hand over my mouth, I apologized and followed Ashton into the pool room. He walked to the back corner and stopped at a table scattered with several empty bottles and shot glasses.
“Looks like you’ve had a little party back here.” I sat down on the barstool closest to the wall.
“Yeah, I may have needed to clear my mind,” he countered, taking the barstool across from me. We were tucked away when he finally launched into it. “I cannot believe I had to hear about this shit from her. What the hell’s that about, Kinsley? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I am sorry, Ashton. At first, I wasn’t ready to talk about it. Then, I just didn’t want to see the look of pity on your face. Besides, it’s not as bad as it seems,” I tried to explain, but hearing the excuse out loud, it sounded like total crap. Before I could continue, the jukebox came on, distracting me. Luke Comb’s Hurricane came pouring out the speakers scattered about the bar.
We sat there silently, listening, for a minute. The longer we were quiet, the harder I found it to come up with the right words to continue.
“You’re my very own hurricane, Kinsley. Do you get that? You fuckin’ wrecked me today.” Ashton shoved his hand through his dark hair. “I guess I was under this illusion that we told each other everything.”
“That’s not fair, Ashton,” I said, placing my forearms on the table and leaning in.
“How do you figure that?” he countered, cocking his head.
“For the last three years, we’ve barely spoken. Sure, on Facebook and text, but that’s it. Anna’s my friend, too. It’s not like I was purposely trying to hide it from you. I just didn’t want you looking at me like I’m some frail little girl that can’t fight her own battles.” I huffed. “Do you remember what happened when you found out Geoff had cheated on me?”
Ashton smiled and nodded. “Damn straight. We fucked him up.”
“See, you’ve made my point for me. I didn’t need you getting into trouble for me. This guy has money and connections to important people.”
“I’m callin’ bullshit, Kins.” Progress. I’m at least back to Kins.
He could always see right through me. If I was being honest at all, I would tell him I was mortified at what had happened to me. I had been so horrified that, if I had not just graduated, I would have transferred schools.
“Ash, why can’t you accept that I don’t want to think about it anymore. It was horrible. It’s not something I want to talk about. Okay? I’m fine. Can we please just leave it at that?” I pleaded, my eyes swimming with tears.
“If I believed for one second that you were okay and that you were actually moving on, then I’d drop it, but I remember what happened when I picked you up at the party a few weeks ago. Babe, you’re not okay and that’s okay,” Ashton said. Reaching out, he rested his large calloused hand on top of mine. “But you should talk to someone.”
His advice mirrored that of his brother’s. I had told Cooper and not Ashton, but he could never know that. I made a mental note to talk to Coop before he could say anything to him.
“Please don’t say anything to anyone,” I whispered. Refusing to meet his eyes, I stared at his large hands covering mine.
“Lizzy,” his tone caused me to look up, “you know better than that. I’d never say anything to anyone.” I gave him a weak smile and released the breath I had not realized I was holding in. “You may wanna have that conversation with Anna though.”
“I will.”
“Speakin’ of which, we should probably go rescue her from Ryan.” He frowned.
“Anna can hold her own, don’t worry about her,” I reassured him, standing and walking back out to the main room of the bar. Before we reached the wide entryway between the two rooms, I froze as a spine-chilling feeling settled into my bones causing my skin to recoil. I shook it off, telling myself it was nothing and continued to follow Ash back to the bar. When we got there Anna and Ryan were slamming back a shot of God knows what with Ethan.
She beamed as we walked back over, licking her lips. “You missed shots.”
“Oh, darn.” I laughed.
“I got next round,” Ashton quickly chimed in and pushed Ryan out of the way, so I could sit back down.
“You two kiss and make up?” Ryan teased, stepping to the end of the bar, a few seats away.
“Fuck off, asshole.”
I laughed at Ashton’s reaction.
Anna leaned in. “You okay?”
“I’m good.” I nodded, straddling the barstool.
And for the first time since everything happened, I said it and actually meant it.
As long as the text messages and eerie feelings disappeared, I would be fine.
* * *
Thursday, Anna and I drove to Delaware to the mall and did our best to shop ’til we dropped. I dropped but Anna had the stamina of a thoroughbred. She thrived on shopping. It was like watching a kid in a candy store. She ran from store to store; rack to rack. After trying on ten pairs of jeans, six dresses, and four pairs of shoes, I was spent. I almost collapsed in Nordstrom before she conceded.
We had lunch at The Cheesecake Factory then went to the bookstore and grabbed a Frappuccino for the ride home. I was supposed to teach a jumper class that night, but the continued rain put a damper on those plans. Instead, we invited Ashton to come hang out and watch a movie. As soon as we told him we were watching Beauty and The Beast he hung up on me. Anna and I fell asleep on the couch before the end of the movie.
The next morning Anna and I woke up, had a yogurt, then headed out for a run before the sweltering summer heat got out of control. We were on the last leg of the second mile when she finally slowed to a walk.
“I needa . . . break,” she wheezed. “Jesus, you seriously do this shit every day?”
I laughed. “Yep. It clears my head.”
“Fuck that, I’ll stick to tequila.”
“It gets easier,” I promised, slowing my pace to cut her some slack.
“Yeah, okay. We’ll see.” She gave me a cynical glance. “So . . . what’s the deal with you and Ashton?”
“Ugh,” I rolled my eyes, “I’ve already told you. Nothing. He’s my best friend,” I explained, feeling like a broken record.
“If that’s the case, then you wouldn’t care if I asked him out,” she blurted out all at once.
“Um, no, I wouldn’t. I don’t think it’s a good idea though. You live in Charlotte and he’s here,” I started.
“Whoa, slow your roll.” Anna’s eyes widened like I had asked her to give me a kidney. “I’m talkin’ about drinks and maybe some dancing. I’m not lookin’ to marry the guy. Yeesh.”
“Go for it.” I wasn’t sure why she thought I would have a problem with her hanging out with Ashton.
“So, the guys mentioned that Cooper was gonna be home tonight.” She waggled her perfectly plucked eyebrows at me.
“Yeah, I know,” I said in attempt to play it cool even though inside I felt like my heart might leap out of my chest at just the mere mention of his name.
“Ashton also said he was gonna have some friends over tonight.” She continued to look at me slyly.
“And . . .” I baited her.
“Stop it, Kins. You know what I’m gettin’ at. Are we going? I could hang out with Ashton while you talked to Cooper.”
I chewed, contemplatively, on the corner of my bottom lip. “I guess so.”
Before I knew what was happening, Anna squealed and launched herself at me. I didn’t even have time to get my arms open to hug her back. “Eeeeh! Thank you!”
Rolling my eyes, I shook my head and laughed at her. “You’re such a dork.”
“Whatever. He’s fuckin’ hot and you know it.”
“Let’s get you home and in the shower before he sees you all sweaty,” I teased. Turning into the driveway, we climbed the hill to my parents’ house.
While she gushed outwardly, my insides fluttered at the possibilities with Coop. Maybe if he saw Ash with Anna he would finally see me. Really see me. I tried not to get my hopes up, but it would be a losing battle.