YESTERDAY WAS SCOTT’S FUNERAL, SMALL and intimate, just as he wanted. He hated when people fussed over him. Maria made the decision to close the farm for two weeks to mourn her husband, but there were still people constantly in and out. Friends, students, and neighbors dropped off food and brought by flowers and fruit baskets.
One of the moms called around to all the students and parents and made a schedule of feedings and barn duties for the two weeks. Each day they volunteered to come over and muck out the stalls and take care of the horses.
Storm left sometime early that morning, heading home. He claimed he needed to get back to work in North Carolina but that he would be back in a few weeks for Labor Day. Storm didn’t have a nine to five job with paid vacation. As a blacksmith, if he didn’t work, he didn’t get paid.
Ash texted Cooper last night and said they were taking the day off and staying at my place. He and Anna had been coming over at seven in the morning and staying until eleven each night since Scott died. I knew they had to be as exhausted as I was.
Mom and Dad had been here hours on end as well. Today was the first day I woke up at eight a.m. with nothing to do. Picking up my phone from the bedside table, I saw a text from Ethan and a Facebook notification. I decided against opening any social media. I wasn’t in the mood to see other people’s happy shit. I tapped the screen and popped open Ethan’s message.
Ethan: How’re ya doin? Anything I can do to help out around the farm?
Me: I’m okay. I don’t think so but if I think of anything I’ll let ya know. What are you doing today?
Ethan: Working, lol. Living the dream. You want me to bring you a burger before work?
Me: Nah. People keep dropping off food. Maria needs a second fridge for all of it. LOL Call me tomorrow. I gotta get my lazy ass outta bed.
Ethan: I’m here if you need me.
Me: Thanks honey
The house was silent as I climbed out of Ashton’s bed and grabbed the crutches that leaned on the bedside table.
My side still hurt pretty good when I used them, but after Tuesday I couldn’t deal with the chair anymore. With a house full of people coming and going, I had been practically stuck in Ashton’s room all day. I couldn’t get around in the wheelchair without making a fuss.
The house felt eerie as I made my way out of the bedroom to the bathroom that separated Cooper and Ashton’s rooms. Cooper had been avoiding everyone for the last five days. If he wasn’t in the barn or workshop, he locked himself in his bedroom. Lucky for me, I had not woken up screaming from nightmares since Friday night.
Entering the bathroom, I used a crutch to push the door closed. I was almost finished brushing my teeth when I heard the familiar creak of the floorboard outside Cooper’s door.
He was up.
Rushing to finish, I turned the water on, spit the excess toothpaste and suds out then carefully bent over, balancing on one foot, to splash some cool water on my face. Perched on one leg, I felt like some kind of weird bird standing there cleaning itself.
Reaching to my left, I felt along the wall until my hand feels the soft cotton of the hand towel. I pulled it loose, blotted my face dry, and then slipped it back through the pewter towel ring.
I positioned the crutches under my arms and hopped over to the door. Taking one last look in the mirror, I realized I still had on my favorite sleep shirt. I wore it last night because I needed to feel close to him. He might have only been down the hall, but it felt like he was three worlds away. I sat up last night trying to figure out how to talk to him; how to comfort him.
My hand wrapped around the door knob and pulled it open to reveal one ruggedly handsome, Cooper. He had not shaved since before Scott passed.
“Hey,” I said in a breathy tone.
“Nice shirt.” His eyes raked over me slowly.
Instantly, I knew he recognized the shirt but prayed he thought I had just grabbed it recently. I didn’t want to know what he would think if he knew I had stolen the shirt years ago.
His light blue pajama pants hung low on his sculpted hips. Despite just climbing out of bed, he looked like he had not slept in days. “You done in here?” He lifted his chin toward me and the bathroom.
“Yeah.” My hopes for talking to him that day dwindled. I wasn’t going to push him to talk to me. When he was ready, he would. Much like when I was ready, I told him what happened. He didn’t push me despite knowing I was scared of something. He let me do things on my terms and in my time. I would give him the same courtesy.
Cooper stepped back, allowing me to pass by, before he stepped over the threshold into the bathroom. I tried so hard not to look dejected or upset. I took a few short steps away when I heard him say something.
“Huh?” I turned back around to see the door still open slightly. “I didn’t hear you.”
“I asked if you were hungry?” Cooper repeated, only his head and right shoulder sticking through the opening.
I smiled at him. His whole world had shifted and there he was trying to take care of me. “I am. I’m gonna make some pancakes. Do you want some?”
“Gimme a minute. I’ll make them.” Before I could argue, he shut the door.
While I waited on Cooper, I sat down in the dining room and called my mom to check in. “Hey, Mom.”
“Hi, honey. How are you feeling? Do you want me to come pick you up? I could bring you over here for the day and make you something to eat,” she offered. I knew she had been trying hard not to swoop in and take control of everything.
“Thanks, Mom, but I’m okay. I just want to relax and stay in my pajamas today. And besides, Coop said he was gonna make pancakes.”
“Okay, sweetie, but if you need me, you call,” she said, her voice dripped in disappointment. I felt bad, but I really didn’t want to put on a happy show for anyone today. I wanted to sit around and mope for just a few hours.
“I promise, Mom. What’s Dad doing today?” I made small talk.
She laughed under her breath and told me what I had expected. “Working.” We talked for a few more minutes before she had to answer her other line.
Shooting a text to Nicole, I checked in to see if everything was okay in Charlotte and to make sure she had my new number.
Me: Hey girl, it’s Kins. I got a new number. How are things there?
Before I closed the app, the dots appeared indicating that she was texting me back, so I waited.
Nicole: Hey honey! I was starting to worry. Anna sent me your new number the other day but hasn’t texted me back since this weekend. How are you feeling? Everything’s good here. It’s nice having the house to myself since everyone is home for the summer.
Me: I’m good. Anna’s been busy helping me, I’m sorry she didn’t text you back. She probably just forgot. I bet the house is nice and quiet. Where is everyone?
Nicole: Jill went to her parents’ house and Steph is in Aruba with her sister and mom. Lucky bitch.
Me: LOL I wish I was on a beach with an umbrella drink right now. I gotta run. I’ll call you soon.
Nicole: K bye Kins
Ten minutes later, I sat on one of three barstools in front of the kitchen island that sat in the middle of the large square kitchen. Three walls were lined with upper and lower oak cabinets and granite countertops, but the fourth wall was open through to the dining room which opened to the family room on the right.
In front of me, Cooper flipped pancakes on the gas range. “How many do you want?”
“Two is plenty. I should go see if your mom wants any,” I suggested, turning in the stool.
“She’s not here.” Cooper held the glass measuring cup over the second sizzling frying pan, and poured out more of the buttermilk pancake batter.
“Huh? Where is she?” I stopped bouncing my foot. I couldn’t imagine Maria leaving without saying something.
“She woke me up this morning and said she had some errands to run and that she probably wouldn’t be home until later this afternoon.” Cooper, still shirtless, set the measuring cup down and picked up the spatula. “So, it’s just you and me. Ash and Anna said they’re gonna lay around and watch movies at your place.”
“Oh.” I swallowed hard. “Do you have any plans for the day?”
“Depends.” He shifted his weight to his left leg.
“On?”
“On what you have planned for the day.” The provocative tone and hooded eyes, looking up from the stove, were almost enough to make me fall off the barstool.
My hand reached out and snatched the bottle of water off the counter in front of me. My insides were jumping around like a monkey on crack and threatening to embarrass me. I unscrewed the cap and chugged back half the bottle, trying to calm the queasiness. Cooper watched with an all-knowing smirk as I squirmed in my seat.
He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew what buttons to push and all of the looks that would render me defenseless. The wall I had built up around my heart seemed to be strong enough, until he looked at me like that. With one look he restored my hope, but my brain wasn’t falling into line just yet.
“No plans.” The only words I could utter as I looked aimlessly around the room; anywhere those eyes weren’t staring back at me.
“How about a movie?” Cooper slipped the spatula under the pancake, lifted it out of the hot pan, and plopped it on one of the plates to the right of the stove.
“Like at the movie theater? I’m not sure-,”
“Here. I’m not in the mood to go out today.” He lifted the plate up and held it out for me to take.
I looked out the window to the gray skies as the rain fell hard across the green pastures. I loved rainy days. Okay, that wasn’t true. I loved rainy days when I could stay in my pajamas and not leave the house. The thought of laying around the house with Cooper in our pajamas all day was like a fairy tale come true, but I hated the circumstances that allowed me to do so.
“Fine, but I get to pick the first movie,” I told him, accepting the pancakes and placing them on the black granite counter in front of me.
“Deal, but no-,” he started.
“I get to pick whatever I want. Afterwards, you can pick whatever you want.” I smiled, picking up the syrup and pouring it over the fluffy, golden brown pancakes.
“Alright,” he grumbled. “But when it’s my turn, there’s no bailing or whining. I get to torture you as much as you torture me.” An evil grin spread across his face as the gears began to turn. I knew he was thinking of the scariest movie he could.
I hated scary movies and he knew it. Cooper, Storm, and Ashton always loved to scream or grab me at the most opportune time to traumatize me the most. It was like some sick game they played. One time, Storm used a small broken branch to scratch the glass outside the window in the den and had me so scared I made Ashton walk me home.
“I know what you’re thinking and that’s just mean.”
“Who me?” Cooper’s eye lit up for the first time in weeks. He reached down, clicked the burner off, and came around the island with his plate. He sat down next to me in the empty seat and said, “I’d never be mean to you.”
The whopping smile I wore fell as I thought about the times he rejected me. While he wasn’t mean, he had hurt me. The fact that I was still able to face him amazed me. I think what little resolve I had now came from the knowledge that Cooper had told Ashton that he had lied to me when he said he didn’t feel the same way. I tried to keep that in the back of my mind while it felt like we were at a stalemate. While I wanted to bring it up and ask him about it, the timing never seemed right.
After we ate breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen, I hobbled my way down the wide hallway to Ash’s room. Maria had the air conditioning turned up since the constant influx of people had the front door open more than it was shut, and it had me teeth-chattering-cold. I needed to throw on a pair of sweat pants. I just hoped that I had a pair with me that would fit over the bulky bandages and splint.
* * *
Thirty minutes later, we were settled in on the reclining loveseat in the living room. Deciding against poking the bear, I chose to watch Suicide Squad. I was so fidgety that Cooper reached over and took my hand in his. At first it was just to get me to stop picking at the afghan he had draped over me on the couch next to him, but then he softened his hold, threading his fingers through mine.
The warmth of his firm grip was comforting. My hand felt so small in his as my fingers stretched to the webbing to fit between his. The thought of my own stretching led my dirty mind to other places.
My stomach and mind swarmed with queasiness and questions, but I pushed it all away and attempted to focus on the movie. For just a little while, I wanted to not overthink everything between us.
We were watching the bar scene when my phone buzzed on the side table next to me. Sitting up, I pulled my hand from Coop’s and carefully leaned to my left, picking it up. On the home screen was a text message indicator. I tapped the icon and found the message.
Unknown: You really should look both ways before crossing the road.
I sucked in a breath as my whole body started to shake as I looked at the words.
“What’s wrong?” Cooper turned to look at me, but I couldn’t speak. I just handed him the phone. “Son of a bitch. I thought you said it stopped.”
“It had,” I whispered, still staring at my lap, my breaths came heavier and heavier. I thought it was over. “I don’t understand . . . how did they get my number? Why won’t they just leave me alone? I didn’t do anything wrong.”
Cooper sat the phone down on the arm of the couch next to him then scooped me up into his lap. “I got you. They won’t get to you again. I swear it.”
He kissed my temple and rubbed my back. His words did little to quell the fear, but I did believe him.
I knew he’d protect me. I just didn’t know who or what he was protecting me from. The possibilities weren’t abundant but the one I knew about happened to be well connected. And despite what the DA thought, Julian would always be a predator in my eyes.