Chapter 17—Gravy on Top

* Tiff *

On Sunday, Riley and I slept in and just might have done more than sleeping. Tanner met Riley at the indoor practice facility, and they threw the ball around, went over plays, stuff like that. I stayed home and studied, something I’d been neglecting a little too much lately.

On Monday, we were back to classes and business as usual while Tuesday loomed ahead. Monday night the dread started to weigh me down. Being one who rejoiced in any small victory, I reminded myself the overwhelming dread had started less than twenty-four hours prior to the memorial service, rather than days before or weeks before. Definitely progress.

At eleven thirty-seven the next day, Riley and I stood at the memorial erected in a park near the high school. Riley held my hand tightly, and I appreciated his quiet strength. We were reunited with classmates and teachers, and hugging and crying abounded. I was proud I didn’t cry. I sniffled a little, but I didn’t cry.

Even Cooper was cordial. We huddled together, grateful the rain held off. Cooper actually patted me on the back and gave me a kind smile. My dad wasn’t present, but my mom came and clung to my arm the entire time, alternating between crying and wailing. People kept staring at her. I wanted her to stop, but in a way I was grateful for her dramatic performance. Dealing with her kept my mind off the tragedy, and I needed all the distractions I could get.

After it was over, Cooper invited us to their house for dinner, but Riley and I declined. He had to get to practice, and I had homework. While Riley said good-bye to his family, I gazed at the abstract granite memorial that held the names of the eight lives taken that day. I ran my finger over the names of my three girlfriends and allowed myself to wonder what they’d be doing now if they’d lived. Gina had loved fashion and had designed some of her own clothes. Hannah could sing like an angel and wanted to be on a Hollywood talent show. Lindsee was a free spirit who cared about the environment and worried about global warming. Three beautiful girls with their lives cut short. I read the rest of the names, as if I hadn’t already committed them to memory.

Seven long years.

Ely, the other shooter, was dead, and Jacob was in prison. I wondered if Jake regretted what he’d done. During the trial and after, never once had he apologized. In fact, he hadn’t spoken at all, except to the high-priced attorney his parents had hired.

“Tiffani Vernon?”

I jumped slightly and turned. A guy in his late twenties looked back at me. He had lifeless gray eyes, a dirty coat, and a scruffy beard, the type of guy who’d send me scurrying in the opposite direction if I met him in a dark alley. I shot a glance in Riley’s direction. He was talking to a few of his high school teammates, and his aunt and uncle had left.

“What—what do you want?” I tried to keep the tremor out of my voice but failed, which brought a wicked grin to this guy’s face. He was not a friend. I started to edge my way toward Riley, but the stranger blocked my escape.

“I have something for you.” He handed me a somewhat crumpled envelope. I refused to take it. “This is all your fault. You know that, don’t you?”

I gasped, my heart leaping into my throat. “Who are you?”

“Not important.” He shoved the envelope into my hands, spun on his heel, and hurried through the crowd. The envelope fluttered to the ground. I bent to pick it up with a shaking hand. I knew who it was from. Riley was heading toward me. I jammed the envelope in my purse. Riley didn’t need to worry about me along with all his other problems right now.

He reached me, bending down to look at my face. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I didn’t sound fine. By the way Riley grimaced at me, he didn’t think I did, either. He rubbed his eyes and sighed, obviously worn out.

“Are you sure?”

“One hundred percent. Let’s get you to practice. You’re the starting quarterback.”

With one more worried glance in my direction, he took my hand. In minutes, Riley was at practice, and I was in my room after driving his car home.

No one else was home, and I pulled the envelope from my purse. The outside had my name on it. I didn’t recognize the handwriting. I tore it open and read the short note:

Happy seventh anniversary, baby. I hope you’re enjoying your freedom all these years while I’ve been rotting in fucking hell. This was all your fault. You dumped me as soon as I was kicked off the team and already had your eye on your next victim. You used me, you bitch, while I loved you. You drove me to do what I did. You killed your friends. You killed your classmates even if you didn’t pull the actual trigger. It’s a damn good thing I’m stuck in this place, or I’d do the one thing I failed to do that day.

I’d put a bullet between your eyes.

Thinking of you always,

Jacob

The note fell from my fingers and fluttered to the floor, unnoticed.

I curled into a little ball on the bed and rocked back and forth, willing the tears to come because then I’d feel better. Only they wouldn’t come. I shut my eyes and saw Jacob. The cold, dead eyes of a stranger stared back at me, as if another person had inhabited his body. This wasn’t the boy I’d fallen head over heels in love with since my first day of high school when he’d stopped to talk to a couple of senior cheerleaders helping the freshman squad with their routine. He noticed me right away and flirted with me, a lowly freshman. The next day, he leaned up against my locker and asked me out. Embarrassed, I admitted my parents wouldn’t let me date yet. He grinned and winked at me, promising we’d figure something out.

And we did. A couple nights later, I attended the first high school dance of the school year. Jacob danced almost every dance with me until about halfway through the evening. Then he led me outside to his car, and we steamed up the windows. I’d made out with guys a little in junior high, but nothing like this all-consuming, animalistic thing between us. He was all over me, stroking, kissing, and nipping. Within a week, I lost my virginity in the backseat of his car. After that, we were together every chance we got.

I’d stay late after practice, or I’d spend the night with friends and sneak out while they covered for me. I’d get to school early in the morning, claiming I needed to study with someone. Our chemistry was explosive. He had experience. I had none, but I had raging teenage hormones, and so did he.

But Jacob had a possessive side, which started to come out little by little until he started to scare me. He also liked to party, and he’d gotten kicked off the football team and lost his chance at a scholarship. The night I broke it off, he’d caught me watching Riley from across the cafeteria earlier that day and confronted me. I’d told him to go to hell and that I didn’t love him anymore.

Two days later, he pointed a gun between my eyes, pressed the hard metal against my skin, and pulled the trigger. When the gun didn’t fire, he reloaded. Only he didn’t come after me.

But he might as well have, because my life as I knew it ended that day.

I blinked a few times.

No, it hadn’t. Not anymore. I was reclaiming my life. Jacob had imprisoned it for seven years. He’d thought he’d won, but I was changing the rules and getting back in the game. Jacob couldn’t hurt me anymore. He was locked up for life.

I sat up in the bed. I hadn’t had a panic attack or cried hysterically. I’d relived that tragic day and emerged relatively whole. Even Jacob’s note hadn’t sent me over the edge.

* Riley *

After practice, Tanner and I worked on passing drills and accuracy. I couldn’t reach Tiff. At first, I assumed she’d taken a nap or maybe was attending some evening presentation for her class. But as the minutes ticked by, I was worried sick. My timing was way off because of my distraction, and Tanner was losing patience.

“Look, Tanner, this isn’t a good day for me. How about tomorrow?”

Tanner nodded grimly. He knew what today was. “Yeah, that’s fine. I was a little surprised you’d want to practice today.” He smiled and squeezed my arm. “Take care of yourself, buddy.”

“I will. Thanks.” I forced myself to walk until I was out of his sight. Once down the block and around the corner, I broke into a run and sprinted the remainder of the mile and a half home. Out of breath, my heart pounding, my pulse racing, I knocked on Tiff’s door. No answer. I knocked harder. I beat on the door.

All sorts of awful scenarios raced through my mind of Tiff doing something drastic. I tried the door and the knob turned. I raced from room to room, opening every door. No Tiff. She wasn’t in the bedrooms or the bathrooms. She wasn’t in the backyard. She was nowhere to be found.

I ran the short distance to my house, pausing on the porch to catch my breath. I pushed open the door and Otto came bounding toward me. I gave him a quick pat on the head. The house was quiet. No one was home.

“Tiff,” I called out on the off chance she might be here. No answer.

I walked down the hallway to my room. The door was partially closed and the room was bathed in darkness. I let out a sigh of relief. Tiff was curled up under the comforter. I slipped into bed beside her and pulled her warm body to mine. She wiggled and wrapped her arms around me, burrowing her face in my chest.

“Everything okay, baby?”

“Everything is good, Riley, considering what day this is.”

“I’m glad.”

“It’s getting better with time.”

“Yeah, it is.” I stroked her silky hair and held her to me.

“I don’t ever want to forget them, but I don’t want to be stuck in the past, either.”

“I know.” I kissed the top of her head and cupped her fine ass in my big palms. She lifted her face to mine, and I was happy to see an absence of tears. Her brown eyes were clear and bright. She traced a finger along my jawline to my lips and followed it up with her mouth on mine. I groaned. God, I needed her after the day I’d had. The memorial. The shitty practice. The pressure of being the starting quarterback. All compounded by worrying about Gage and Tiff.

“I want you.” She cupped my balls through my jeans and stroked my dick.

“I always want you.”

Tiff unzipped my fly and pulled down my jeans and underwear. I closed my eyes and let her work her magic on my body. When she finished, I lay still in boneless contentment. I was the luckiest guy in the world.

We lay together for a while, just listening to each other’s breathing.

“Riley,” she said against my chest.

“Yes?”

“Let’s get naked.”

“That’s the best idea I’ve heard all day.” I decided not to point out there hadn’t been many good ideas today.

I didn’t wait and stripped out of my remaining clothes in record time. Tiff did the same. Her movements were slower and more deliberate. She was intentionally teasing me, and I enjoyed the show. She slid her sweater over her head, revealing inch by silky inch of creamy skin. Reaching back, she unhooked her bra and pulled the straps off her shoulders. My breath hitched as my eyes were drawn to those perfect pink nipples.

Our eyes met. The need shone starkly in her gaze, just as I’m certain mine did. Beneath the desire I saw other things. I saw her struggles, her failures, her triumphs. I saw everything that made her into the woman I’d fallen in love with, flaws and all. She knew how I felt, and no words were necessary. Her slow smile said it best.

And her smile also said she wanted me.

“Oh, hell,” she said. “This is fucking torture.” Abandoning her slow, easy striptease, she removed the rest of her clothes with the speed of a champion oyster shucker.

Before I could roll onto my back, she scooted up the bed and lay her pretty head on the pillow. She held her arms outward, welcoming me. I hesitated, confused, and waited for another sign.

She spread her legs wide, and her eyes grew sultry and heavy-lidded. “Brand me with your body and give me your soul. Make me beg for you. Make me forget every last man on earth because there’s only you. Make me cry out your name.”

I could do that. Oh, hell, yes, I could do that. I crawled onto the bed between her legs.

“I’m ready for you, Riley. For us. For how far we’ve come. For what we are today. What we could be together tomorrow. I want it all, and I want it with you.”

I could’ve sworn I’d said those same words weeks ago. Had I? I didn’t know. Right now it didn’t seem important who said them first. Tiff and I had finally found each other.

She reached for me and wrapped her fingers around my wrists. I allowed myself to be pulled forward.

I searched her face and saw bliss and more. In her eyes I saw everything I’d ever wanted to see and never thought I would.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you, too.” Her smile eclipsed the sun and warmed every dark place inside me. Tiff stroked my cheek and raked a fingernail across the stubble on my jawline. “Make love to me, Riley.” Her raspy voice sent a tingle through me.

I held my upper body with my arms and knelt between her legs, never taking my eyes off her. She arched her back and pressed her hips upward into mine. I groaned as my cock came into contact with her wet heat. The little vixen rubbed against me, enticing and torturing all at once. I closed my eyes for a moment, willing my mind to maintain control over my dick. Then she touched me, wrapping those fingers around my cock and guiding it to where she wanted it, not that my boy couldn’t find his own way—’cause he sure as hell could—but I let her control the situation.

As I pressed inside her, I groaned and my body shuddered, protesting my restraint. Tiff didn’t help. She grabbed my ass and tried to pull me deeper.

I slid inside her little by little, reveling in how her body held mine, from my cock to my heart. Her wetness wrapped around my hardness like a silk glove. One final push, and I was completely buried in her brand of heaven and my brand of forever. She was my all, my life, my everything. She had been for years, and she would be until my dying day. As I gazed deep into her eyes, I saw the same thing there. I saw our tomorrows, our trials, and our victories, all held together by our love.

She was mine, and I was hers. My hips found a rhythm and her body matched it, as we danced a sensual dance by two perfect partners. Her face filled with wonder. She buried her fingernails into my shoulders, and I kissed her. Wrapping her legs around my hips and digging her heels into my butt, she urged me on. At first, I was able to resist, but my control quickly evaporated. Our rhythm increased until slow and steady became fast and frenzied. I drove harder, and she took what I was giving and asked for more. I gave it to her. I gave her all I had until I had nothing more to give, and my orgasm crashed through me over and over. The emotions were so powerful, they were addicting and frightening at the same time. And Tiff felt it, too, as we both fluttered downward like eagle feathers, once soaring and settling back to earth.

I rolled to my side and pulled her on top of me. Our sweat mingled, our breath merged, and our souls sang.

She lay on top of me, her eyes half-lidded and a satisfied smile curving her lips.

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you, baby, always and forever.”

We’d paid our dues, and now we reaped the rewards.

Life was damn good because I had Tiff. Everything else was just gravy on top.