“They are damn smooth talkers. Fuck those bastards. I couldn’t understand how to share all this with Cody. He will never be able to handle them. That innocent dork!!! Some days I hate that fucker. Tina! It’s not our fault he never listens to us. Don’t blame yourself. Go straight and say they are fucking you like a toy like in a betting game and he will kill us. I tried talking to him a few times, but he never listened to us. I was tired of hinting at him all the time, but he just kept on ignoring me. I had guessed Max was not the guy. His vibes were the ugliest I have ever perceived. But...” Joseph breathed heavily after speaking for so long over the phone.

Cody stood at the door listening to his talk. He was just entering the house, and hearing his name from Joe, he stayed by the door, which was slightly open and he stared at his roommate. Joe was strolling around the common room with his face away from the door, so Cody remained hidden, he was hissing, stomping occasionally and cursing continuously to some unnamed guy. Meanwhile he heard a reply from the other side. Perhaps, Tina, because he had called her once or twice. Cody leaned against the sidewall and kept watching Joe talking. Drake’s sincere efforts had lightened his mind, and hard work had made his body ache. Cody wanted to sleep but also wanted to listen to Joe too. ‘Everyone is so concerned about me,’ A genuine smile floated onto his lips.

“No. Tina, you do not understand the point. If he is sleeping around like others, that would be fine, but he is looking for his love… his soulmate… or whatever you call this bullshit. I am not into all this drama. I am only into fucking and moving on, with no-strings attached. But… but… you don’t understand, he is more of an idiot than a dork. Can't he judge people? Can’t he look into their eyes, and see they are hungry for his body, and not his soul? ….. No…no… you listen to me Tina; you need to talk to him on this…. I cannot let them play with him like this… I can, but he doesn’t listen to me… Tina… Tina... let’s not argue about this. He doesn't listen to me… you try talking to him today in college, and then let me know. If he listens then fine, otherwise, we will make him listen to us.” Joe smiled.

Tina still spoke. Joe nodded and rejected a few of her suggestions. Leaning over the balcony, he peeped down looking at the beauties. His tone and face calmed down as Tina agreed with him.

“I didn’t want to share the problem with you Tina… it’s a very shitty topic to discuss.” Joseph spoke over Tina’s voice, insisting they open up all the layers so she would understand. Joe was hesitant, but Tina pushed again. “There’s a betting game being played between two teachers on campus… if more people are involved then I do not know… It’s… who will get more shots with Cody in their bedrooms…”

After this, there was pin-drop silence in the room and also over the phone. All three pairs of ears understood who the players were and who the bait was. Cody began to slide from his place to the floor but he immediately controlled himself by holding the doorknob. Joe turned round on hearing a noise and found Cody standing at the door. His speech choked. Slipping his phone onto the side-table, he stared emotionlessly at Cody.

Cody smiled. The strength he showed, even while he was broken, was overwhelming. His mind was frozen, he stepped forward, and faltering, he fell in a dead faint to the floor. All of a sudden, Joseph gathered his wits and ran over to him. Cody was not hurt, physically. Joseph attempted to lift him up, but Cody stayed lying on the floor. He stared at Joe, eyes looking into a void, but glued to Joseph’s. It was a phase, he looked at his roommate, but his mind was somewhere else, in a dark blurriness where he felt lost and betrayed. He never knew he could be part of someone’s perfidiousness in such a cheap way. That the people sleeping with him would lie all the time.

“I am sorry, dear . I should have told you this earlier. But I wanted you to get away from them, and yet you were stuck with them. When Max was out I felt you were safe… but then you visited Drake. I didn’t know you were visiting him earlier too.” Joe clarified. He burst out, his heart aching. He attempted to get Cody to speak. In his silence, Cody would die internally. Joe sighed and shook him.

A taciturn Cody moved into his room. He didn't close the door but also didn't expect anyone to come inside. Tina was still hanging on the line. As the noise coming from the other side stopped she whispered, “Joe… Joe…” But Joseph was busy dealing with Cody’s reaction. Though it was expected Cody would not be chirpy on the news, nor did Joseph want him to be alone. He had already attempted suicide once and failed. ‘What if he tries something else, again?’ While Joseph was analyzing the situation, he heard glass breaking from Cody’s room. He ran inside, found Cody had hit his window, and the glass was broken. Sprinting up to Cody, Joe pulled him away, checking, he found Cody was not hurt. Dragging him away from the window, Joseph pushed him to sit on the bed. “You are not gonna move …not even an inch, is that clear.”

Silent. Awestruck. Dumbstruck. Cody didn’t react, but sat on the bed. Looking away. He didn’t look at Joe, just kept his gaze downcast. The breeze was still, so was his heart, that overthinking heart. Joe looked at Cody, feeling disappointed on Cody’s luck. ‘One after another, being ditched, Cody must be aching. His heart is in turmoil and shattered.’

At the same time, Tina came running into their apartment and straight to Cody’s room. “I am sorry, Sweetie. I know it’s not easy to forget this.”

“Was that Max, Drake, and me, you were talking about?” Still unsure about Joe’s words, Cody confirmed through him. His heart was not ready to accept Drake worked by the same rules as Max, but even worse, his heart was just a coin tossed between two players.

Joseph nodded. Holding Cody’s hands, he drew nearer. “Stop blaming yourself.”

“No. I can easily forget them. My heart reminds me they are not worth giving them my attention any more. Neither holds any more importance in my life. But … but.. the feeling of being used, and thrown away like a piece of garbage after a few nights, is not getting out of my mind. Even sluts have some self-respect. Moreover, I was just bait for them. I didn’t have any rights either. Max kicked me out of his house, of his life, as if I was nothing to him, not more than a fool. Once, my heart was generous and I forgave him, but on the next turn, I was ditched again. On the other hand, I want to be cheap like them, and go back to exploit them. But I am stuck, hooked in a phase where I cannot do either. I am no one and nowhere. I am hung and feeling all drained, bloodless, emotionless. I cannot do anything now. I am not running away. But I need time to stay away.”

“Darling, you need to heal your wounds. I understand you need time for everything, I even know you will not run away. You are not that weak but, definitely you have to work on your wounds. It happens to most of us in our lives. There are very few lucky bitches who get what they want on the first go. Most of us have to hunt and fight for our wishes. Don’t dare to mask them ever with drugs, smoking, sex, food, clubs, over-exhaustion, or anything. It won't help, and ultimately, it will creep out from somewhere and make you weaker. Give time to yourself and heal your wounds.” Tina consoled back. Worry was clear on her face. She expected Cody to speak, talk, laugh, and cuss them. So all his frustrations could come out, but Cody wasn't frustrated. He was heartbroken. And cussing, crying, cringing wouldn't solve his problems.

“No, you should not sit here and cry.” Joseph yelled at both of them. “Go and fuck that bastard. Sue him in court and make sure he loses his job. Lodge an FIR and make his ass sore by the police. You cannot sit silently and keep sobbing in your room, all lonely and here will be no one to support and help. No one to wipe your tears. I don’t know my dear, what to say and do. But I cannot see you like this, dying every moment of your life. Let’s go and smack his ass. Kick his butt sore. And make him weep as well.”

“Some nights I want to lock up my heart and throw the keys in the ocean. I just… just don’t want to play anymore, neither with me nor with anyone else. If I do, I know it will end up messing with another heart, and it will get destroyed like earlier. It won't listen to me, it won't listen to you. I bet. It’s all prepared to devastate me again.” Cody sulked, hugging his knees near to his chest, and sat away on the bed. “I want to be alone for a while.” he muttered.

Tina opened her mouth to say something, but Joseph patted her shoulder and gestured to go out. They walked straight into Joe’s room and sat silently on the bed for some time. Then they chatted on all the issues Joe and Tina knew of. They also plotted how to help Cody recover from his depression and heartbreak. “Perhaps a long trip to somewhere nice?” Tina suggested to Joseph. Their teen hearts struggled hard to find solace for their friend. Unaware of the reality raging inside his heart, the time passed, and Tina checked her cellphone. They left Cody alone for over thirty minutes.

She turned to peer into his room, as the door was wide open.

Cody was still sitting on the bed. She turned to Joseph and immediately shouted loud. “Fuck!” a thick smear of blood was pooled on the floor. She ran to Cody’s bed, Joe followed her. Cody’s left hand was hanging down with jagged cuts on his wrist. Running to the other side, she found Cody holding a piece of broken glass, and with that, he had slit his wrist. She took hold of Cody’s hand and he dropped the shard freely down into her lap. She screamed out loud, looking at Joe, who was talking on his phone, hopefully for an ambulance. She made Cody sit, but he gradually lost consciousness. Checking for a pulse they found it was fluttering. The shard of glass fell from Tina’s lap and onto the bed.

Everything happened so quickly they didn't have time to react. The ambulance came and they raced to the hospital. The sirens of the ambulance cleared the road, but their hearts were crammed full with all their fears. “Open your eyes, Cody we are with you,” Tina pleaded. She was sitting beside him inside the ambulance holding his hand.

And then, there, his hand slid quietly from her hold. The hand was free and so was he. Tina bawled, but the ambulance’s wailing siren buried the cries .

 

And there he took his last breath

And the horizon was brawled with the clichés of two bastards

Neat wine, slipping out of their glasses

Dying whimpers sobbed in the hiccups of his friend

Grips loosing and slowly becoming a cold body

Still, humanity felt colder

Cody left Tina’s fingers

Holding, hiding, her friendly, forever love for him