We’ve just arrived at Dr. Horton’s office, the tension rolling off Ki is nothing short of turbulent. She’s like a little thunder storm waiting to take out anything in her way. He called an hour ago asking her to come in to talk about the test results.
To say that I’m nervous would be an understatement. I want everything to work out, for Kierra to experience having her own child. And yes, I’m selfish because I want it to be our baby, biologically. “Hello to you both.” A rumble comes from behind us as the doctor enters the room. He offers us both a smile as he settles on the large leather chair behind the wooden desk.
“Is there something wrong, Doctor?” Kierra’s tone is filled with anxiety which spikes my worry. The graying man shakes his head, opens the file before him, then lifts his blue eyes.
“On the contrary, everything is just fine. With the results that came in, it looks like the gene is dormant in your body at the moment. This means if you want to go ahead with the in vitro procedure we can do it. I’ve also done a pre-implantation genetic diagnosis on the embryo’s and there are no concerns there.”
Silence falls around us, and when I turn to my girl, I notice the moisture on her cheeks. “Ki, babe.” She turns to me then, her eyes a mixture of a cloudless sky and a silver with the shimmer of tears.
“I’ll give you two a moment.” Dr. Horton rises, closing the file, he makes his way out of the room. Once the click of the door sounds the tears stream down Kierra’s face.
“I-I don’t… I-I mean…”
“Baby, look at me,” my order is soft, murmured in her ear. She lifts her head to regard me and I cup her face in my hands. “We’ll do this okay. If it’s what you want, then we will go through with the procedure.”
“But—”
“Listen to me, Kierra Thorne. I want you, I want this, there’s no buts, only yes or no. So, if you want to try this, if you feel like you’re strong enough, then I’m right here.” I tell her this without blinking, searching her gaze, imploring her with mine. Hoping she’ll understand that this is the only thing I want and need. Her.
“I want to, Ryan. I want to try this. There’s nothing I want more than to have my own baby, to carry to full term without the fear of he or she being sick, or even myself. I just—”
“Then we’ll do it. Me and you, Kierra.” I vow. Our gazes are locked. Our hands are intertwined and our hearts… Those beat together, creating the song that only our souls know.
“Okay, I’d like to do it here. Before we go back.” There’s still that annoying tabloid about Ryan possibly having a child with someone else which for some reason irks me. She’s waited two years to suddenly appear with this little girl. I’ve emailed Tay a press release to confirm we’ll be asking for a paternity test before making any further comment. If this Tiffany for one moment thinks she’s getting my man, she’s got another thing coming.
“We can. I’ll need to make a statement about the paternity claim. I don’t know why she’s appeared suddenly wanting to stir shit up, but if this is where you want to do it then we’ll stay. I’m not leaving you when you’re having to do this.”
“What if the child is yours?” Her question hangs in the air between us. Emotion swirls like a lead weight. Taking her hand in mine, I look into those deep blue eyes and make my promise.
“I’m not leaving. If the child happens to be mine, I’ll take responsibility, but Kierra, I promise you, my heart, mind, body, is yours. Nobody will come between that.”
She nods then. “Then you’ll just have a little girl with another woman.”
“I’m sorry this is happening, adding to the stress you’re having to go through, but we’ll have our own child together. It will work out, Kiki. We will make it work.” She kisses me then, it’s a soft, soul stealing kiss, and I bask in it. In her love.
“That’s what we’ll do,” she murmurs against my lips.
* * *
Since we decided to take a chance and have her eggs fertilized almost a week ago, I’ve donated my sperm and they’ve fertilized the eggs. Dr. Horton said it takes two to six days for the growth to happen and Kierra will go in for the implantation.
I’m nervous, excited, and I’m anxious. Today we’re going into the hospital where the woman I love is going to have the eggs transferred to her. The timing couldn’t be more perfect apparently since Kierra’s cycle is at the right time to have the procedure done. I can tell she’s anxious to go home, back to LA, I’m not sure if it’s nerves about what she’s about to face, or if she’s just needing an escape.
Me on the other hand, all I can think about is marrying her, wanting her to have my child. If this is the only chance she gets, I pray with all I am that the procedure works. I want to see her glow from the pregnancy. To see her body change as she carries a baby would make me the happiest man. Not only because she’ll have my child, but because this will be her only chance for it.
Too much of her life has been governed to her by medical professionals. Just this once, I want her to be able to have what every woman should be able to have.
To experience it. To feel a baby, move inside her. The miracle. The beauty of it.
I wonder now if I’d told her sooner. Been honest with my feelings about how much I wanted her. So many times, over the years I almost did. Would it have made a difference? Would we still be here trying to have a baby the medical way? Yes. I know we would because I love her.
“Ryan, are you ready?” Her voice startles me out of my inner dialogue. She’s dressed in a short pale blue dress with those silver strappy sandals. Her hair is loose in wet waves since she’s just come out of the shower.
“I am. Are you?” I’m not sure if she can hear the tension in my tone, but it’s there, heavy, unyielding. I want to be strong for her, to give her the support she needs, but deep down, I can’t stop the fear from overriding every thought in my mind.
“I guess so. There’s no turning back now. Not that I want to. I mean, I’ve wanted this for so long. And you… I mean… Are you nervous? Is it just me?” Her rambles are adorable, calming me instantly. She’s got this way about her where she’ll mumble about things that’s on her mind, it’s the reason I can’t help smiling when she’s around. That, and of course her beauty. This woman is like a blaze in the darkness. A lightning strike through the darkened sky.
“Babe,” I murmur, rising from the sofa where I was perched. Stalking toward her, I grip her slim hips, tugging her against me. “If you don’t stop rambling, I’m going to show you exactly what I want to do to that pretty mouth.” Her breathing hitches at the elicit threat that turns the air around us into a sexually charged storm. “Everything is going to be okay.”
“Okay. Okay. I believe you. Now stop making sexual innuendo’s and let’s go. We can’t be late.” Chuckling, I step back, releasing her from my hold. With my phone in hand, we head out of the suite. This is it. I’m about to become a father. The thought has me smiling from ear to ear.