Kyla
Every time I walk these corridors I swear they get longer. He’s awake and it feels like I’m never going to get to his room and see him. My dad is close behind me and he keeps up easily with his long strides. I never wanted to leave Ricky but when my dad actually ordered me to go and get some sleep and something to eat, he left me little of my own choice. I knew he would wake up when I weren’t with him, and now I’ll never have those first few moments with him.
When he vowed he would never leave me, I believed him whole-heartedly. From that day, I have lived life with him never worrying if he’ll meet someone better than me, or have less problems than I do. I have so much trust in my man it leaves my heart wide open with no walls to protect itself from harm.
It never occurred to me he would be hurt on Lost Souls territory and I would lose him to death. Everyone keeps telling me he’ll be okay and he’s strong, I hear it all but I can’t let myself believe them until I see him awake with my own eyes. I need to hear him call me babe and watch as his mouth curves into a devilish grin as he sets eyes on me. Then I will know if he is okay or not.
Alannah is wheeling Cas out of Ricky’s room as my dad and I turn the last corner and my blood pumps angrily. My dad told me he wouldn’t be left alone.
“He’s asleep,” Cas says, not making eye contact with me.
“How was he when he was awake?” I ask Alannah.
The doctor warned us they wouldn’t know what to expect until he regained consciousness.
“He seems okay, considering. He kept asking after you,” she says.
This makes me feel worse. I should’ve been here with him. Peering through his window he looks peaceful.
“You look stronger today,” my dad tells Cas.
“I feel it, they’re letting me go home tomorrow and I want everyone at the club. Sparky says it’s been quiet, so we’ll take advantage of that…”
I tune them out, I can’t listen to them planning further fights. Nobody notices as I slip into Ricky’s room and close the door behind me.
I sit in the chair I’ve spent many hours in over the last few days and I hold his hand. Pressing my lips to his skin, I will him to wake up so he can kiss me back.
He woke up once, he will again and I will be here.
My dad comes through the door and isn’t followed by Cas and Alannah. He pulls up a second chair and sits beside me.
As much as I hated being ordered by him to leave last night, I do feel calmer with him around. His presence is soothing and mellow. I’m glad I know who my father really is now, the version of him I knew before I came to Willows Peak wouldn’t have been able to calm me.
“Being in the club enables you to see who the people around you really are. I heard people talking when you and him first got together, they all expected me to kill him, or at the least, hurt him. Don’t get me wrong, if he had hurt you or treated you with disrespect, I would’ve killed him. However, I knew he was different with you. You make each other stronger. Be strong for him when he wakes up.”
“Anything he needs,” I vow.
Hours pass and fatigue starts to roll heavily around my body, stretching out and yawning, Ricky’s eyes blink open. Smiling for the first time in days, I tighten my hold on his hand and choke out a small happy sob.
“Hey, I'm so happy you’re awake right now.”
He hears my voice and I watch his eyes lazily roll from side to side searching for me. When he focuses on me he takes my breath away. He has always managed to sweep me off my feet with a simple smile.
“Ky, I’ve been waiting for you.”
He sounds thick with sleep and weak. I’m hoping he sounds more like himself with every minute he is awake.
“I nearly died,” he murmurs.
I go to speak but my dad gets in first and stands over the bed.
“But you didn’t cause you’re not a pussy. There’s no way you’d get taken out like that. We’re all still here.”
Trust my father to drill it into him he’s not a pussy.
“Apart from John, Cas said he died.”
“Yeah well, he wasn’t one of us.”
I frown, John was still a human being and my dad makes him sound unimportant because he didn’t wear the same patch as him.
He catches the look on my face and abruptly leaves the room.
“He has a point, Ky. It’s better to mourn for someone you didn’t know then to be mourning someone you love.”
“I know,” I reluctantly agree, “it just sounds awful and cold.”
He doesn’t say anything, I want to say so much more but what’s the point? When he believes something, he rarely changes his mind. I suppose it’s why he gets on so well with my dad.
“Do I get a kiss or what?” he manages to smirk.
I laugh and lean over, pressing my lips to his. It feels like home.
“That’s much better,” he smiles, “Where were you when the blast happened?” I sit on the edge of his bed and answer him.
“I was in the house, it didn’t reach us. It just felt like an aftershock from an earthquake. It was so loud and once it stopped, we came out to see a van on fire and the car you were in was upside down.”
He gives nothing away, his face remaining stoic.
“Do you remember?” I ask, when he doesn’t say anything.
“No.”
He stares up at the ceiling and refuses to look at me. There’s no fear in him about what happened, or the fact he was so close to dying. It angers me.
“I was petrified you were dead and for what, to wear a patch and ride a bike? Surely this shows you how easily life can be taken away?”
At times, the club has installed fear into me like nothing else has before and now, it has taken root and embedded itself deep into my bones.
This gets his attention and I know I’m wasting my breath by his glare.
“This won’t change anything, babe. I’m a Lost Soul just like you’re an addict. The two will never change, it’s foolish to try.”
My mouth opens but nothing comes out, I’m not surprised by his answer or his tone.
“Be happy I’m still alive, I sure as hell am.”
Is he serious?
“You nearly died, you’ve been in a fucking coma, and you still think the club is worth your life?”
“Yes,” he snaps, “This is what I signed up for, babe. It doesn’t matter what is thrown at the club, I will always stand with my brothers.”
I sit back on the chair and put some distance between us.
“I’m not asking you to forget about them, I’m asking you to look out for yourself for once.”
“I’m not going to fight with you, Ky. Please, you knew who I was when you met me.”
“How dare you throw that in my face, no one was trying to blow you up when we met.”
A nurse walks in and I close my mouth, I know better than to talk about the club around anyone who isn’t a Lost Soul. It's flipping frustrating though, so I pull out my phone and message my mom. I tell her Ricky is awake and seems to be doing okay. I put my phone away when the nurse leaves and find Ricky staring at me.
"We'll get through this, babe. I promise."
"I'm not so sure," I mutter, feeling sick.
A low growl comes from deep in his chest and I drag my eyes away from him. He doesn’t have anything to say that I want to hear and vice versa, but I love him too much to drop it.
"Can you at least see it from where I'm sitting, as in, next to your hospital bed?"
"I can, but it changes nothing, babe."
I let out a long sigh as the door opens and my dad returns with two coffees. I see him take in the tension in the room as he hands over a coffee to me while offering Ricky an apologetic shrug.
"I didn’t know if you could drink anything yet," he mumbles sitting beside me.
"It's fine."
The room falls into silence and I internally scream. If he thinks he can hide behind my dad, because he knows my dad can't stand us fighting, then he's wrong. I'll bide my time and approach this again because I won't lose him to anyone, or death, not for a very long time.