Chapter 20

Hannah

To say disappointment floods me would be an understatement. Disappointment. Pissed off. Sad.

“Wake up.” Eden comes into my bedroom and sits on the edge of the bed. “Fill me in with what’s going on.”

Slowly, I get up and rest against my headboard. It’s still early enough in the morning where I can relax a little before heading into the office, even though I’m dreading it with every fiber in my body.

I fill Eden in about Logan and what happened after we left the restaurant.

“We had sex and he left,” I tell her and frown a little. “So yeah. Absolutely nothing’s going on.”

“Wait.” Eden holds up her hands. “He left?”

“He warned me and I didn’t care. Maybe I was hoping he’d change his mind and have the decency to say bye to me when he left or something. What difference does it make?”

“The difference is this wasn’t a one night stand for you.”

I shake my head. “No. I felt something with him. I never felt that way for Aaron, and I want more. So much more. This sucks.”

I draw up my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs. I’m having a pity party for one. This is why I can’t be adventurous and take chances. I’m way too emotional and get attached fast.

“Have you heard from him?”

I shake my head. “Nope.”

“You’ll see him today, so talk to him about it. You can do it.”

I shake my head again. “No. Not happening. It’s nothing, Eden. I’ll get over it and move on.”

Eden pats my shoulder like a child and smiles. I hate her right now. “Did you have a good time?”

“Too good of a time.” My body’s still humming from last night. I hate to thank Logan for that since we barely know each other and I’m already falling head over heels for him. “I learned some new things last night.”

“Like?”

“I’m not as prude or vanilla like I thought.”

Eden’s eyes widen. “Do tell, my little freak!”

“I’m not giving you details.” I stick my tongue out at her and we’re both falling on my bed laughing.

“You’ll be fine. Put on your big-girl thong and get to it. I’m going to make you a special breakfast, so get up and get ready, sunshine.”

It's almost two in the afternoon and I’ve successfully avoided Logan at all costs. He hasn’t asked me to do anything for him and that’s completely okay. I’m not ready to face him, and I have no idea what we’d even say. Part of me wants to ask Austen if I can take a few days off and go home, back to Ohio, and spend time with my parents. While the other part is screaming to suck it up. These things happen, and I shouldn’t be surprised.

I don’t look on the computer to see if he’s online to chat, and I don’t take any detours past his office, either. Luckily, I have a lot of work to do, and I’ve been locked inside my office since I arrived.

When I walk to the printer to grab the papers I need for Austen’s three o’clock meeting, I see several error messages and check the time. It’s two forty-five and I have no idea what to do. IT has been backed up all day, and mostly everyone who sits around this area is away from their desk.

“Please work,” I mutter, and I notice that the machine has my print job in the queue, but nothing's happening.

I open the door to see if there are any jams or something I can fix without calling IT.

“Come on!” I groan and slam the thing shut to see if that'll wake up the printer.

“Is everything okay, Hannah?”

His deep, velvety voice makes my body still and I want to die. When I turn to see him standing before me, my eyes rake over his body, and images of last night hit me hard. I shake it off and put on a smile. He'll never know how hurt I am. One night stands happen and I'm accepting that fact. But, seeing him in front of me, looking beyond sexy in his fitted gray suit with a baby blue, button down shirt, and abstract blue tie, makes me want to beg him for more.

I need to be strong and stop staring at him. What happened last night obviously means nothing to him, although, I can’t be mad. He warned me and I still took that chance.

Damn my raging vagina. Stop being attracted to his D!

“Yeah. Technical issues. I guess.”

“Lemme help you.”

A wave of warmth flushes up my cheeks and perspiration gathers on the back of my neck. My eyes deceive me and I take in again. His hairs ruffled as if he’s run his fingers through it and now I so badly want my fingers in his hair again.

“Thank you,” I mutter and step aside so he can get to the printer.

After a few moments he gets the printer to work. When we’re facing one another, neither of us move. Our eyes connect and my hand twitches to feel the softness of his lips.

“I don’t hate you,” I let slip out before turning to the printer and grabbing the papers. I walk away before he can say something.

The three o'clock meeting ends two hours later, and I'm exhausted. Between the schedule Austen has, and the printing issue this afternoon, and then the shit that went down in the meeting, all I want to do is drink a glass of cold, white wine and watch a Zac Efron movie. He always makes me feel better.

When I get back to my desk, I turn off my computer and gather my belongings before heading out for the night. I stand up and my purse falls from my lap. Everything scatters on the floor.

“Come on,” I groan, and bend down to pick up my things.

A picture of Michael falls from my open wallet and I snatch it up, studying his sweet face. My chest instantly tightens.

The picture was during my high school graduation. He was so happy, so proud of me, and the grin on his face was so bright. It reached his eyes and there was so much love in the picture. His arm was resting on my shoulders and we're both smiling, showing our pearly whites.

“Oh, Michael,” I cry, holding my chest and staring at my beautiful older brother. “Are you okay? Are you in heaven? I hope you're soaring high and you're not in pain anymore. I hope you're happy, because that's the only thing that keeps me going. I pray for you every night. Do you hear me?”

When Renee broke up with him without an explanation, he turned to drugs and was never the same. Two months of drinking, smoking, using coke, and he wasn't my brother. He stole thousands of dollars from my parents and sold his Audi for drugs. My parents and I were lost. No one knew what to do. I wish I could've been there for him and made him see he was worth more than what he thought. I tried reaching out to his girlfriend. We had no idea who she was or where she lived. From what I understood, she wasn’t from Ohio, and Michael was planning to move to be with her. He never brought her around to meet us or showed us her picture. Their relationship was a secret, and when he died those secrets went with him.

A hand rests on my shoulder and I peer up to see Logan staring at the picture I'm holding in my hands.

“The memories are always with you. Sometimes, we think we're okay, and then something happens, like remembering their favorite song, or favorite food, or seeing a picture. Sometimes, the memories creep into our mind and we have no control of how to handle it.” Logan's voice trembles and I can feel the shakiness of his hand on my shoulder. “I get you’re in pain because I feel that pain too. When I lost Shannon, my wife, my world turned dark and I became a different man. I’m cold and undeserving. That’s why I need to leave you alone. The big bad wolf needs to stay away from the sweet and innocent angel.”

“Maybe the sweet and innocent angel needs the big bad wolf to stay with her. Opposites attract,” I whisper, and graze my hand over his. “I can still feel you.”

“I feel you too,” he whispers back and in the moment we look at each other again, an understanding passes and it’s all I need to know.

“I’m here. Whatever you need.”

“I know,” he says. “Have a good night, Hannah.”

“You too, Logan.”

I watch him get up and walk toward the elevator. Once the car opens and he walks in, without looking back to me, I know that whatever we shared a few moments ago, will pull us back together again.

The only question is… will I wait for that moment again?