Chapter 25

Logan

The walls around my heart are slowly breaking down. I don't want to push her away or treat her the way I have been. She's creating a small crack and continues to hammer through the thick walls to reach me.

Each time she smiles at me or her sassy mouth goes off, it makes me want her. Crave her. Need her.

My breathing stalls when her hand rests on my thigh and she takes a drink of her second martini. The appetizers are on the table, untouched, and I can't shake off the need to tell her everything about me.

“I don’t want to ignore this anymore,” I rasp, and pull her closer to my body.

“Then don’t.”

“You need to understand if we do this, I need you to be patient and understanding.”

“Of course.” The corners of her mouth curve up. She doesn’t break eye contact. “Whatever you need. I’m here.”

The heat between us is hard to ignore. Without thinking, I slip my fingers in between hers, bring her hand to my lips, and savor the slight tremble. I move her closer, grab a handful of her hair, and touch my lips to hers. The sweetness of her lips brings back our first night together. With her hair between my fingers, I pull a little harder, making her open her mouth more so I can deepen the kiss. The electric rush pulses through me. She's gripping my shirt tightly and moaning into my mouth.

When I open my eyes, hers are still closed. I lean forward and press my lips on her forehead.

“Those are my favorite kinds of kisses.”

“Mine too.” I grin and reach over to take a piece of shrimp from the plate and feed it to her.

“Mmm, so good,” she moans.

My dick is painfully hard and, fuck, I want to sink myself into her.

“Tell me something no one knows,” I beg her, needing to take the focus off her sexy moans.

“I love walking the beach at night. There's something about taking off my shoes and feeling the coolness of the sand. It calms me.”

Hannah smiles receptively, as if she knows how hard it is for me to open up. Her patience is unnerving. She's peeled off my asshole layer and slowly she's reaching the part of me I've hidden to the rest of the world.

“Let's go for a walk on the beach when we're done,” she suggests.

"Okay."

We continue eating and switch to water after two drinks each. The silence between us is comforting, and surprisingly, I can sit here with her for hours and not mind.

When we're done, I pay the bill and we quickly leave and head to the beach. She's humming a familiar song. I don't ask her what it is and listen as she continues, not realizing I'm watching her. She grabs my hand and brings it to her lap. I don't pull back and instantly relax. Between her humming and touch, it's the first time I'm breathing. Truly breathing. I’m not breathing through the pain, I’m just breathing.

We get to the beach, and she entwines her fingers with mine. This whole thing is intimate… too intimate. And I welcome it.

“Take off your shoes!” she shouts, and tosses hers to the side. “Please, remember I left those there.”

“Of course.”

“When Michael and I were younger, our parents used to bring us to the beach and we'd play for hours. He was my hero.”

“I'm sorry he died so young.”

She shrugs. “You know what kills me?”

I don't respond and wait for her to finish talking.

“There was a girl in his life. They met online and then spent a weekend together. He talked about her and I never took the time to ask who she was or anything about her. After six months, she broke up with him, and he fell to pieces. My brother died of a broken heart.”

“I'm really sorry, Hannah.” I'm not sure what else there is to say, so I draw her into my arms and place my chin on the top of her head. Since she’s opening up, I decide it’s best I do the same. I want her to know me. All of me.

“I was in love once, and sometimes I think I'm still in love. Shannon was my high school sweetheart. We went through school together and gave each other everything. We got married and things were great. I fell more in love with her. I cherished her. Loved her. Showed her the world. Things were going well. Then the hours at the office became too much for her and we became distant. She wanted a family and I wasn't ready.” I pause and take in a shattering breath. “Shannon was texting on her phone when the accident happened.”

I close my eyes and steady my breathing. Her arms tighten around my middle and I need her touch.

“She died instantly and she was pregnant with our child.”

“Oh, Logan,” she whispers and tips her head back, looking into my eyes, urging me to come closer. My heart softens and I swallow the large lump in my throat.

Right in front of me, in my arms, is the most beautiful and patient woman. She doesn't expect anything from me except friendship, and she isn't running for the hills from my hot and cold attitude. She's sassy and holds her ground.

“I'm breathing you in,” I murmur, and I lean forward to kiss her. Our kiss isn't sexual or too rough.

“I'm breathing you in,” she repeats, and wraps her arms tighter around my middle.

We break our kiss and continue walking down the beach, alongside the calming water.

“It all makes sense now.”

“What does?” I ask.

“Why you are the way you are. Since you lost Shannon, you closed yourself off so no one would hurt you. You pushed everyone away and made sure to have this asshole front. These walls around your heart are built so high because you'd rather be alone than feel that kind of pain again.”

She stops walking and kisses my chest.

“I see you, Logan. I see all of you. Behind all the anger and sadness, I can feel your heart—and it's beating, filling you with the air and nourishment you need to get you through the day. You're not alone anymore. I want to be the one to vanquish your demons.”

This woman is fucking perfect.

“Will you be my boyfriend, Logan Davis?”

I burst out laughing and pick her up in my arms and spin her around until we fall on the sand. She's lying on top of me and I love feeling her weight on my body.

“Yes, Hannah Harris.”

She kisses me and everything rotates in the right direction. My mind's at peace. My chest takes in the air without constricting and our hearts are beating as one. We're breathless when our lips part, and once we catch our breath, I bring her back down to my lips and feel her tongue against mine.

I feel like I'm home.

When we get to her apartment, I put my car in park and am about to get out when she says my name.

“Yeah?”

“Spend the night with me. I wanna wake up in your arms tomorrow.”

The apartment’s empty when we walk in, and I follow her into her bedroom. I can’t read her thoughts or her expression.

“Are you okay?”

She pops her head up and smiles.

“Yeah, of course. I’m really tired and a little nervous.”

“Don’t be. Whatever you want to do, we’ll do or not do.”

I walk over and run my fingers through her hair, marveling at the softness, and slowly lower my lips to hers.

“All I want to do is be in your arms,” she whispers.

“Then that’s what we’ll do.”

I strip out of my clothes and leave on my boxers, slide under the bed covers, and wait for her to come out of the bathroom. When the door opens, I look over and see she’s in tiny shorts and a tight tank top. My dick slowly gets hard, and I think of anything to calm down the raging beast.

Rotten food. Clowns. The Easter Bunny. Snakes.

It finally goes down just in time when Hannah climbs into bed and presses her body against mine. She hikes her leg over mine, and rests her head on my bare chest. I feel vulnerable having her in my arms, and I want to tell her everything.

My breathing quickens and I have to close my eyes. Hannah’s fingers gently trail down my chest, going up and down, soothing me, making it better.

“We got into a fight before she stormed out. I never got to tell her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me.”

“She knows. She knows that you will always love her. We think that in death our loved ones don’t know and will never know, but the memories and vows will always keep your love alive. This guilt you’re carrying, babe, you need to let that go. You didn’t cause her accident, and it’s okay to move on.”

Hannah gets up and straddles me, placing both her palms on both sides of my face, and leans down to kiss away the tears I didn’t know were falling.

“And now she’s in heaven, watching over you with your baby, so you have to be a better person. Live for her. And live for your son or daughter.”

“You don’t think I’m a monster?”

“No.” She shakes her head and kisses me again. “You’re human and you’re going to miss them for the rest of your life. It’s the same with my brother, Michael. I’m going to miss him until the day I take my last breath. I know one day we’ll be together again, but for now, I’m living. That’s all we can do. We can carry on their memories and live the life we’re meant to.”

The weight on my shoulders lifts, and for the first time in two years, I’m breathing. I’m breathing and I want to live.

And it’s because of this beautiful woman.