Chapter 22

Hannah

Sitting outside on the balcony of my apartment, I watch the sun go down. The lavish colors of pink, yellow, and orange gets my attention and I realize how long I’ve been sitting out here.

My phone rings and I ignore it.

I go back to a few hours ago. Seeing him leave to go to Paige hurts, and it shouldn’t. It shouldn’t fucking hurt because he’s not completely mine.

The whispering plea to get up and do something about Logan fills my ears. My spine stiffens from the realization of how I’m falling in love with him. There’s no rhyme or reason to any of this. My already tight chest grows tighter and my throat closes a little, like a vise grip slowly twisting to close off oxygen.

I blink rapidly and finish the wine in my glass. My shaking hand sets it down without it breaking, and I wrap myself in the throw blanket we keep on the couch. I pull my legs up and rest my chin on my knees, breathing in the air around me, soaking in the last of the sun’s rays.

In the past few weeks, things have been changing all around me. Thinking about Logan and the hard man he presents himself to be makes me wonder if this is all worth it. Looking at him, getting to know him, I know there’s a lot more to him than meets the eye. Logan Davis is beautifully broken and sexy and he’s all man. The muscles he sports and his lean body can make any woman with a pulse drool over him. He seems so strong and confident, yet he has these demons and a side of him I don’t like. His hot and cold attitude throws me on a wild ride, but it’s a ride I don’t want to get off.

The more time I spend with him, the more I fall and want him more. I analyze him and how I’m feeling. That’s who I am. I hate going with the flow. Everything needs a plan, and Logan Davis coming into my life is not part of the plan.

The apartment door opens and closes and I see Eden walking to her room and Lincoln making his way outside to join me.

They’ve been dating since that night at the bar, and I really like Lincoln. He’s sweet and really hot—not Logan hot, but definitely hot with his cool, laid-back attitude and killer body. Seeing my best friend happy means the world to me. I haven't really gotten to know Lincoln since they're at his house most of the time, but from what I know, he's a good guy.

“Hi, Lincoln.”

“Hey! What’s going on?”

“You didn’t hear?”

“What?” he asks, and sits down in the empty chair. “What’s wrong?”

I tell him about what’s going on with Logan and how Paige called threatening suicide.

“Fuck,” he yells, and quickly gets up from the chair and goes to Eden's room.

I go back inside when I hear Lincoln apologizing, and I watch him rush out of our apartment.

Eden’s eyes dart from me to the door. We’re standing in the middle of the room, neither of saying anything, and I notice her eyes wide and her mouth agape.

“Grab a bottle of wine and I’ll fill you in.”

She goes to the kitchen and comes back with the bottle and a glass. We’re both sitting down on the couch and I fill her in while she pours me a glass of wine.

“Holy shit,” she says and drinks her wine and then pours another. “That’s a lot of drama. Even for me. Seriously. Do you think this Paige chick is serious?”

“I think so.”

“Wow.”

I nod in agreement. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Nothing. Until you and Logan become official, if you want that, then just do what you’ve been telling him and be there when he needs you. That is if you can handle that.”

“I can.”

“Can I be honest?”

“Of course,” I tell her as we sit down on the couch.

“I’m proud of you for taking the chance. I didn’t think you would, and I think Logan’s good for you. Even with his hot mess of a life and all. We meet people at unexpected times, and during unexpected situations. You might not realize how you’re changing, but I notice. Sometimes people just know when they meet their missing puzzle piece. And I think you know.”

“I do know,” I agree with her.

“You more than like him. I’ve never seen you like this, all flustered and over-the-top happy or sad. Logan’s gotten to you.”

“He really has.”

“So,” she says, “be patient. If you think he’s worth it all, the drama and everything, then I suggest you be there for him.”

I take in everything Eden’s saying. I don’t want to be a rug where he can come and go as he pleases. And there’s another point – we’re friends. Even though I can walk away, and ignore my feelings, to be honest, I don’t. I don’t want to walk away from Logan.

“Okay, enough of this. I’m taking you out for food and drinks.” Eden pats my knee and tells me to go get ready.

As the server brings us our martinis and bread, Eden stares at me, wanting to say so much more than she has since we left the apartment.

Eden sips her martini and sets the glass down on the table. “So, what are you gonna do?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you gonna fight for Logan or let him go?”

“He’s with Paige, and I don't wanna think what's going on with them. You should've seen the way he ran out of my apartment. They share a history, while I’m the new girl, trying to get his attention. And to top it off, she's beyond beautiful.” I sigh and pause so I can collect my thoughts. “I’m falling in love with him, Eden.”

“I know you are.”

I pick up my martini, take a few sips, then set it down. “We connect on some level. I’ve never felt this way before. I know I hardly know him, but…”

“Don’t have to explain. I get it. That’s how it is with Lincoln. We’re learning about each other every day. He asked me to move in with him.”

I blink a few times and absorb her words. “Are you going to?”

“Hell, no! Maybe in a few months, but not now.”

“That’s so sweet, Eden. I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you.” She smiles and takes a drink. “Can I give you some advice? Just one more piece.”

I finish my martini and sigh in defeat. “Yep.”

“Don’t overthink.”

Our server brings another round of dirty martinis and I pick up my glass for another much needed drink. “I’m not overthinking anything.”

“Yes, you are babe. You have this amazing and welcoming aurora around you. People instantly love you and you never judge, which makes you who you are, but you need a plan for everything. Live in the moment.”

“It’s not like having a plan isn’t a bad thing.”

“It can be. You have an eight year plan, Hannah. Sometimes things don’t always work out the way you want.” Eden nods and sips her drink. “You settled for Aaron. You knew it was over after two years together. The both of you were different in every single way, but you got comfortable, and he fit your plan.”

I try to play off what she’s saying, although it’s hard since there’s so much truth to her message.

“Okay, enough of this sad psychoanalyzing,” Eden says, and we clink glasses.

Stupid Eden and shoving stupid drinks down my throat. Well, she didn’t hold me down and make me drink. I can rarely say no to her, and she knows that.

She had to call Lincoln to come get us, since we’re both wasted and I can’t stand on my own two feet without wanting to fall over and sleep.

“I hate you,” I mutter, and push her away from me. “Bitch. You’re a bad friend.”

“Whatever,” she slurs. “You love me.”

The door opens and we both turnaround from the bar area and see Lincoln and Logan walking in.

Fuck. My. Life.

“My man is really hot.” Eden giggles and gets up from the barstool and stumbles over to him.

Logan’s dark eyes are on me, and I instantly push my thighs together. Holy freaking hell, that look needs to be illegal. After the longest intense moment in the history of my life he’s inches from my face.

“Hello, beautiful.”

That voice. Those lips. Those eyes.

Mayday. Mayday!

I’m falling and don’t want to stop. The way he’s staring at me. The way his deep, and velvety voice makes my body shake with desire. This is all resulting in me becoming mush. Putty. I want to scream take me now. It’s all too much and I can’t stop my body from reacting. My nipples are pushing against the fabric of my dress, remembering the way his mouth felt and the way his fingers rolled them. And now my clit joins, remembering the pleasures of his mouth, with pulsing need. My body wants his mouth. His tongue. His all. I have to squeeze my thighs together again to tame the distracting sensation.

Instead of telling him to take me back to my place, I hiccup in his face and cover my lips from sheer and utter embarrassment.

In slow motion, he picks me up from the bar stool, and I draw in a breath, hiding my face in his chest. My heart and mind are racing toward the finish line and win a night of pure bliss with him again.

The alarm sirens and I remember the way he left me alone in bed.

No.

Not again.

“I won’t have sex with you tonight,” I whisper.

“I wasn’t thinking about sex tonight.”

“Okay. Just as long as we’re clear.”

The ride back to our apartment is quiet, and I’m not sure what to say. Eden’s passed out, and Logan keeps looking at me through the side mirror. I feel so small and stupid for listening to Eden about drinking.

Stupid Eden.

Bad friend.

Lincoln helps Eden inside and Logan helps me, since neither of us can walk thanks to all the martinis. Next time I'm limiting myself and alternating between my drink and water. My impending hangover is looming over me with a wicked smile and loud screech. Ugh.

Logan sits me down on the couch and I watch him walk to the kitchen while Lincoln holds Eden to his side and walks down the hall to her bedroom. Honestly, New York has the hottest guys. They’re similar in height, build, and fashion. Both men have bodies that look like they spend some time at the gym. Goodness. They’re wearing dark jeans. Lincoln has on a white button down, and Logan’s in different clothes than what he was wearing when he left. His V-neck, gray shirt shows off his broad shoulders and large biceps.

“Stop looking,” I hiss to myself, hoping he didn’t hear me.

Logan comes back with a glass of water and hands it to me. I take it without question and take a few small sips. When I place the glass down on the coffee table, I notice he’s kneeling before me, his hands on my bare knees. Avoiding his eyes, I take a few strands of my hair and examine for any split ends. “You didn’t need to come get me with Lincoln or take care of me. It’s okay if you want to go back to Paige.”

“I’m right where I want to be,” he says with a smirk.

He grips my knees tighter, and I can feel the intense burn of his stare.

“Look at me,” he demands.

I don’t dare look. The feel of his stare is enough. If I look I’ll forever be trapped and I won’t have it in me to keep fighting my feelings. But, I give in, and I instantly want to slap myself. All it takes is one look and I forget all he’s done to me. Just one look.