Kyle waited with me in the dressing room before the show. Pacing back and forth, he was making me nervous, and I wasn’t even the one proposing.

“Dude, relax.”

“Sorry. I feel like I’m going to hurl.”

“Stop stressing. It’s not like she’ll say no.”

“Really? Because I’m not so sure about that. I don’t have a whole lot to offer her.”

“How do you figure?”

Kyle motioned toward his entire self. “I think this speaks for itself.”

Maybe a few years ago I would have agreed with his self-deprecating assessment, but Kyle was not the same lazy doofus he’d once been. Of course, what kind of brother would I be if I didn’t bust his balls? And this really was the perfect opportunity. “No one said she had taste.”

“No.” He acknowledged with a chuckle. “Thankfully, Kenzie doesn’t have a sophisticated palate.”

“Yeah, well, you picked a girl who has her priorities straight. She’s not after money and power.”

“Thank god, or I’d be screwed.”

“For sure. Anyway, as I was about to say… you give Kenzie something no one else can give her.”

“Obviously,” Kyle said, jokingly pointing towards his shaft and boys. “But I wasn’t talking about sex.”

“Neither was I.” I laughed as well. “Shit, if that was the criteria, I’d be scared right now too.”

Kyle flipped me off, the grin on his face dying off as he gave more thought to his impending proposal. I remembered the feeling well and had been as nervous as my brother was now. I imagine there would be nothing quite like getting turned down by the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Still, Kyle had nothing to worry about. Kenzie was his Casey.

“What if I get out there and get so nervous that I crap my pants?”

I winced at the mental picture.

“You’re not helping, Jake.”

“You’ll be fine,” I placated him. “Just focus on her face… and breathe.”

“Okay, yeah, you’re right,” he said, dipping down into a crouched position as he took long, ragged breaths. Looking up at me, he asked, “What can I give her?”

“Huh?”

“You said I could give her something no one else could. What is it?”

“You make her happy, idiot. And trust me when I tell you – that’s all that matters.”

* * *

The plot was in place, and Casey and I were its supporting characters. It actually came as a surprise to me when Kyle told me he was going with the grand romantic gesture for his proposal and not something more laid back, like laying an engagement ring in the middle of a pepperoni pizza and yelling, ‘Surprise!’ You know the whole rallying cry – ‘Go Big or Go Home’? Well, Kyle was the guy that gladly went home… and took a nice, long nap once he got there.

Yet here he was ready to put himself out there in the biggest way possible – in front of a crowd of thousands. If she said no, there’d be no coming back from the humiliation. Not that it seemed likely Kenzie would refuse him, given the fact that she was fully expecting a proposal out of him. Two and a half years was a long time to date without some sort of long-term commitment. At some point, women get tired of waiting, as Keith could readily tell you.

Step one of the plan was to keep Kenzie away from the concert… or at least until I’d had time to prep the audience. Thankfully, talking someone’s ear off was Casey’s specialty, so I had complete faith in her abilities to stall Kenzie’s arrival as well as to make up some excuse why Kenzie had to be looking camera ready. A fake party immediately after the concert had been the ploy.

Step two was getting the audience to do what I’d ask them to do at the exact time requested. I waited until the end of the second song to address the crowd. After going through the standard greeting, I filled them in on Kyle’s proposal idea, and not only was the audience game to play along, but excitement buzzed from every corner of the stadium. After they’d participated on the television show Marooned together, Kyle and Kenzie’s love story was fairly well known, so getting the crowd enthusiastic for their proposal was no issue at all.

And finally, step three was getting my little brother engaged. In my opinion, there was no one more deserving of a good woman and a great life than Kyle. He was loyal to a fault. If he deemed you deserving, even if sometimes you absolutely were not, there was nothing he wouldn’t do for you. I’d been on the receiving end of that devotion my whole life, so I could attest to Kyle’s exceptional character. It made me happy to see that my brother had found someone who could finally turn the spotlight on him.

While performing, I kept an eye out for the cue from Casey. She loved being a part of this – not because she wanted her hand in everything but because Kenzie and Kyle meant so much to her and their love story was something we could both get behind. The go-ahead was delivered to me by way of a schoolyard chain of communication passed from one band member to the next until my guitarist leaned over and whispered, “It’s time.”

I glanced toward where I knew Kyle was hiding with Sean on the opposite side of the stage. Even though I couldn’t see them, I trusted that my manager would get Kyle onto the stage even if he had to drag him out there himself, so I wrapped up the song I was performing and carried the microphone toward the front of the stage, clipping it in the stand before addressing the crowd.

“Lights!” I called out, and like magic, the stadium went black. Seconds later, the glow from thousands of cell phone lights illuminated the darkness and the theme song from The Blue Lagoon, a throwback to their reality show days, began to play through the speakers. A spotlight clicked on, showcasing Kyle as he made his way to the center of the stage. Cheering him on, the crowd was electric.

A second spotlight switched on, illuminating Kenzie, who appeared stunned as she stood on the sidelines with her hands clasped over her mouth and eyes opened wide.

It really was a beautiful moment… until Kyle ruined it.

“Kenzie, get your butt out here.”

Oh, god, Dude! I’d had so much faith in him until then. You don’t start a proposal that way. But then again, maybe you did if you were Kyle since Kenzie appeared to eat that shit up, laughing her way across the stage to meet her man.

Once she arrived, the song cut out, and Kyle said to his beloved possibly the most romantic thing I think I’d ever heard.

“Thanks for coming.”

Again, I cringed, Kenzie laughed, and the audience responded with riotous applause. Okay, so apparently Kyle was doing things his way, and it appeared to be working.

Kenzie’s smile lit up the already bright stage. “You’re welcome.”

Taking her hands in his, Kyle stared deeply into her eyes, and I knew this was the moment of truth. My stomach was tied up in knots for him. Kyle wasn’t just my younger brother, he was my best friend, and I wanted this to be perfect for him. So I hung on his every word, hoping he didn’t mess it up, until it occurred to me that Kyle wasn’t aiming for perfection. Unlike me, he’d never required it. He recognized life for what it was and lived it well. He accepted people for who they were and withheld judgment. So it made sense that a proposal from an unpretentious guy like Kyle should be no different. It wasn’t going to be polished, or even grammatically correct, but it was going to be heartfelt, loving, and full of humor. That was Kyle.

“On paper, Kenzie, you and I are an odd pairing. You being the pasty white, big Bambi-eyed Northern Californian who says ‘Hella’ way too often. And me being the sun-kissed, devastatingly handsome Southern California boy who speaks in proper slang. But sometimes, you know, when the stars align, a girl like you gets lucky.”

Finding Kyle’s opening insults wildly entertaining, Kenzie’s face was alive with excitement as she shook her head in amusement.

“Who am I kidding? Of course I’m the lucky one. I’m actually not even sure how I managed to snag a woman like you but I can only assume it had something to do with starvation and disease carrying mosquitos. I’m convinced if we’d met anywhere other than a deserted island, you would’ve taken a pass on me. But we didn’t, and you didn’t, and here we are today. I keep waiting for you to come to your senses but thank god you never have because you’re my dream girl, Kenz. The day I woke up and realized I was in love with you was the best day of my life. There’s no one I’d rather grow old with than you… well, except Jake, but he’s taken already. Anyway, you know I’m not a flashy guy and big gestures are something I leave to others, but tonight I make an exception – for you.”

Kyle dropped to his knee to a chorus of oohs and aahs from the crowd. He flipped open the ring box. “Tonight, I’m going big – Mackenzie Ann Williams, will you marry me?”

She said yes.

* * *

The time had come to say goodbye to the kids, and as much as I was happy to get back to normal, I was going to miss them; more than I thought I would. The thing about kids was, they didn’t care who you were. In their eyes, adults were nothing more than snack bitches. And in my spoiled world, it was a refreshing change of pace.

“Where’s your bag?” I asked. Both the kids’ luggage had been sitting at the door moments ago, and now only Riley’s remained.

Sydney crossed her arms. “I put it back. I’m not going.”

My eyes widened. “You’re not?”

“Nope. I’m staying with you guys.”

I immediately sought out Casey, who appeared just as perplexed as I was.

“No, sweetie, you are going back,” she said, stepping into the conversation. “You, me, Luke, and Riley are leaving for the airport in a few minutes. Go get your bag.”

“You’re not listening,” she answered, stubbornly. “I’m not going.”

“Me neither,” Riley said, standing by his big sister, even though he had no idea why.

Casey, Luke, and I stared at one another. No one knew how to tackle the situation, as all of us were pathetic newbies with no life skills when it came to defiant children.

“Luke, would you take Riley for a short walk? I’ll text you when the car gets here.”

Looking immensely relieved, Luke ducked out of the bus with a protesting Riley.

Casey addressed Sydney. “Where’s this coming from? Why don’t you want to go home? You have so much to look forward to. You have horseback riding camp and swim lessons and play dates.”

“I don’t care about any of that.” Sydney bowed her head, her shoulders trembling. “I don’t want to go back to that house.”

“Your house?” Casey asked, glancing back at me as if I had some explanation for Sydney’s sudden emotion.

I shrugged, as in the dark as her.

“Mom and Dad’s house,” Sydney choked out the words. “I don’t like living in it anymore.”

Then I understood. The memories were too much for her. The house symbolized all she’d lost. Dropping down to her level, I pulled her into my arms. Sydney shook miserably, and I could feel her heart breaking as she clung to me.

I sought out Casey for help, but she too was overcome by emotion, leaning against the kitchen counter for support.

“I get it Sydney, I do,” I said, speaking softly. “The house is filled with memories of your mom and dad. And everywhere you go inside reminds you of them.”

She nodded into my shoulder, gripping me tighter, as she continued to cry. Although I’d never lost someone like she had, I knew what it felt like to go back to a home that was no longer mine. Everything looked the same, yet nothing felt familiar. I knew the lessons I’d learned from my own tragedy might be of comfort to her, but was there a way to reveal my past without scaring her?

Treading lightly, I said, “When I was a little older than you, something bad happened to me too.”

“I know,” she said, pushing back from my shoulders and wiping away her tears. “You were kidnapped.”

Although we’d never discussed it with her, I wasn’t surprised that she’d heard of the kidnapping. Even though I thought of it as a secret, no one else apparently did. “Did your parents tell you that?”

“No. Kids at school. They know you’re my uncle. They’ve told me stuff.”

My stomach knotted at just the thought of what this little girl might have heard about me. “You know, not everything people say about me is true.”

“They said you killed someone,” she answered, matter-of-factly.

Okay. Well, shit. That was true.

“I told them you’d never do that,” Sydney continued. “But then they showed me some websites that also said you killed someone.”

I purposely didn’t seek out Casey’s help this time, more out of shame than anything else. Sydney had been subjected to information she was entirely too young to know all because she was connected to me. I could only imagine the things Grace and Quinn had heard when my story was the only thing in the news in our town for a year. This was the moment I’d always feared, and one of the main reasons why I didn’t want a child of my own. There would come a time, as it had now with Sydney, that I’d have to admit to the things I’d done.

Swallowing back my pride, I said, “It’s true. I did kill someone. But I didn’t want to. Do you know what self defense means?”

“No.”

“It means if someone is trying to kill you, you have the right to fight back and defend yourself. That’s what I did. I fought back.”

“And you killed him instead.”

“Yes. But if I hadn’t fought him, Syd, I wouldn’t be here with you now.”

She nodded her understanding… or so I thought. “He would have killed you like that girl killed my parents.”

“Well, yeah. But…”

“I wish I had been in the car with my mom and dad. I would have self-defensed like you and killed that girl… and then my parents would still be alive.”

“No, Sydney, that not what I meant. It’s not the same thing. The girl who killed your parents, she made a terrible mistake. She wasn’t trying to kill them, though. I don’t want you to spend your life angry at her and avoiding places that remind you of your parents, because if you do that, you’ll grow up into a bitter, unhappy person.”

Tears trailed lines down her cheeks. “I don’t want that.”

“No, and your parents wouldn’t want that either. They’d want you to forgive that girl and move on. Honor your parents by living the best life possible.”

Sydney and I stood there staring at one another. I couldn’t imagine what she was thinking. So much for the pep talk I’d hoped to have with her.

Finally she answered, “Okay. I’ll go home.”

“And you’ll smile and have a good summer?”

“I said I’d go home. I didn’t say I’d be happy about it.”

I reacted to her sass with a quirked brow, and Syd actually laughed. I hugged her tightly to me, glancing at Casey for the first time since our conversation began. She was understandably emotional, but there was also mad respect in her loving gaze.

“Jake?” Sydney said, stepping out of our embrace.

“Yeah?”

“What about you? Did you forgive him?”

My heart began to beat forcefully from just the memory of that last day, our final confrontation. He’d mocked me, beaten me to within an inch of my life, and when I was flat on my back with no fight left, Ray had attempted to strangle the life out of me. I was only alive today because he’d failed. What had happened to me was no accident. It was cold and calculating, perpetrated by a man who thrived on the pain of others. A person like that didn’t deserve forgiveness.

Sydney’s rich brown eyes watched me intently, her innocence demanding a response. I could have lied – should have, probably – but for the sake of my tortured soul, I offered her the truth.

“No, Syd, I haven’t. And I never will.”